for Tales of Symphonia 2: The Rulers of Mana6/30/2012 c1 
6yakari school
This is really good! I look forwards to seeing the rest of this fic as it goes on! Thanks.
6yakari schoolThis is really good! I look forwards to seeing the rest of this fic as it goes on! Thanks.
2/14/2012 c1 1Zero Cifer
I dont know what you were saying before about your writing. This was amazing! You have to update soon Emil C. Loved it ;P.
1Zero CiferI dont know what you were saying before about your writing. This was amazing! You have to update soon Emil C. Loved it ;P.
10/10/2011 c1 Isabelle
Since you keep bothering me to read this -glares- and I still have other things AND I never read this fandom I can't criticize you on characterization. So...onward!
1. I'm giving an honest review, therefore...
2. There's a lot of grammar mistakes and and spacing issues that takes attention away from the plot/story
3. Listen to the reviews, or at least get a beta
4. Don't bothering me WHEN I'M EATING LUNCH .
Over all the plot line is good and so is the diction (eh...some of it?) but some parts needs major editing.
Since you keep bothering me to read this -glares- and I still have other things AND I never read this fandom I can't criticize you on characterization. So...onward!
1. I'm giving an honest review, therefore...
2. There's a lot of grammar mistakes and and spacing issues that takes attention away from the plot/story
3. Listen to the reviews, or at least get a beta
4. Don't bothering me WHEN I'M EATING LUNCH .
Over all the plot line is good and so is the diction (eh...some of it?) but some parts needs major editing.
10/10/2011 c1 10Canada Cowboy
As promised, here is my review to you. And yes, I do see some problems with the story so far.
First of all, your writing style is kind of hard to follow. While spelling seems to be okay, with a couple of errors here and there, it's punctuation that's really bothering me. During the scene when Ratatosk appeared in Emil's mind, you sometimes did not end your sentences with periods, and places where there should be commas were missed. This is what creates the dreaded run-on sentence where you just keep going and going and we're wondering when you'll stop. So please, next time, watch out for that.
Next, the lines where Ratatosk is speaking, they seem to be very hard to follow as well. Sometimes he speaks in Italics, sometimes he speaks in regular font. In other situations, there were indentations after his quotation, leading me to wonder what that's all about. Here's what you should have done:
-"Tenebrae! What are you doing here! You should be patrolling the Palmacosta Peninsula"- Ratatosk yelled.
Rewrite to:
"Tenebrae! What are you doing here! You should be patrolling the Palmacosta Peninsula!" Ratatosk yelled.
I haven't seen too many issues with characterization yet, mainly because not too many characters have shown up. But with this chapter alone, I feel you have other issues to worry about, such as fixing grammar and punctuation. I don't know what program you use to type, but definitely use spellcheck or consult a dictionary if need be. It's not going to make the rest of the story any easier to read if the problems persist.
That's my review, thank you for your attention.
10Canada CowboyAs promised, here is my review to you. And yes, I do see some problems with the story so far.
First of all, your writing style is kind of hard to follow. While spelling seems to be okay, with a couple of errors here and there, it's punctuation that's really bothering me. During the scene when Ratatosk appeared in Emil's mind, you sometimes did not end your sentences with periods, and places where there should be commas were missed. This is what creates the dreaded run-on sentence where you just keep going and going and we're wondering when you'll stop. So please, next time, watch out for that.
Next, the lines where Ratatosk is speaking, they seem to be very hard to follow as well. Sometimes he speaks in Italics, sometimes he speaks in regular font. In other situations, there were indentations after his quotation, leading me to wonder what that's all about. Here's what you should have done:
-"Tenebrae! What are you doing here! You should be patrolling the Palmacosta Peninsula"- Ratatosk yelled.
Rewrite to:
"Tenebrae! What are you doing here! You should be patrolling the Palmacosta Peninsula!" Ratatosk yelled.
I haven't seen too many issues with characterization yet, mainly because not too many characters have shown up. But with this chapter alone, I feel you have other issues to worry about, such as fixing grammar and punctuation. I don't know what program you use to type, but definitely use spellcheck or consult a dictionary if need be. It's not going to make the rest of the story any easier to read if the problems persist.
That's my review, thank you for your attention.
10/5/2011 c1 18x-DragonSoul-x
Hello! You asked, I review.
This is better than most things that find their way to fanfiction. The emotions in the beginning are pretty spot-on. I'm not certain that Colette would ever slap anyone though :/
Your english and grammer do need a little work. For instance, I think you used "her" the female possessive, in a couple places where you should have used "his." Make sure you look over your chapters for any spelling mistakes or font discrepancies (ex: using/ leaving italics on where they don't need to be.)
There were a couple of words you used that seem out of place as well. I think most of your fluency and grammer problems would be resolved if you worked on your english a little. If you're interested, I can see about beta'ing your story for you. PM me later about it.
Otherwise, the story idea in general seems solid. Not bad for a first fic. Keep it up!
~Nessy
18x-DragonSoul-xHello! You asked, I review.
This is better than most things that find their way to fanfiction. The emotions in the beginning are pretty spot-on. I'm not certain that Colette would ever slap anyone though :/
Your english and grammer do need a little work. For instance, I think you used "her" the female possessive, in a couple places where you should have used "his." Make sure you look over your chapters for any spelling mistakes or font discrepancies (ex: using/ leaving italics on where they don't need to be.)
There were a couple of words you used that seem out of place as well. I think most of your fluency and grammer problems would be resolved if you worked on your english a little. If you're interested, I can see about beta'ing your story for you. PM me later about it.
Otherwise, the story idea in general seems solid. Not bad for a first fic. Keep it up!
~Nessy