for Paradise Problematic4/12 c4 D
This looks like it could be a great story! Please write more soon!
This looks like it could be a great story! Please write more soon!
11/23/2012 c4 
11tscarfe
Uhh... This is really good, but I was wondering if your going to finish it or not. And 'barking mushrooms' I don't think I ever seen Deryn say that before, but it was way too funny. Give. Me. The. Bovril Points!
11tscarfeUhh... This is really good, but I was wondering if your going to finish it or not. And 'barking mushrooms' I don't think I ever seen Deryn say that before, but it was way too funny. Give. Me. The. Bovril Points!
10/24/2012 c4 Guest
Awesome so far write more and update soon
Awesome so far write more and update soon
10/13/2012 c3 xylophone-girl
Whoops. Frick.
Anyway, I think it would be MAGNIFICENT if you wrote us some Dalek smut. Please. Please. Please. :33 That part was really lovely!
With cookies and happiness, Xylo
Whoops. Frick.
Anyway, I think it would be MAGNIFICENT if you wrote us some Dalek smut. Please. Please. Please. :33 That part was really lovely!
With cookies and happiness, Xylo
10/13/2012 c3 xylophone-girl
I really love this story and what you're doing with it, but I do have a few comments. A: Jaspert Sharp was indeed with Deryn when she free-ballooned; he had brought her to the training grounds and stood on the ground, watching and cheering with the others as she floated away. B: Alek would probably not say things like "real classy" and "stuff", especially because "real classy" is Very Bad Grammar. C: "mein Liebling" would be incorrect because Alek is adressing Deryn, a girl. He would say "meine Liebling". (Unless, of course, there is sonething about the ending or whatever I don't know. You should probably ask someone with knowledge of more than 'baby German' about that. :PP)
Now that I'm done whining, this is a wonderful story, you are a wonderful person, and you
I really love this story and what you're doing with it, but I do have a few comments. A: Jaspert Sharp was indeed with Deryn when she free-ballooned; he had brought her to the training grounds and stood on the ground, watching and cheering with the others as she floated away. B: Alek would probably not say things like "real classy" and "stuff", especially because "real classy" is Very Bad Grammar. C: "mein Liebling" would be incorrect because Alek is adressing Deryn, a girl. He would say "meine Liebling". (Unless, of course, there is sonething about the ending or whatever I don't know. You should probably ask someone with knowledge of more than 'baby German' about that. :PP)
Now that I'm done whining, this is a wonderful story, you are a wonderful person, and you
8/27/2012 c4 1Johnsoneer
I applaud you on intertwining the romantic antics and the plot line together quite well. Really, well done thus far. I do heartily encourage you to write more. Not just because I think this story has weight but because you have all of the characters right. Deryn is still Deryn and Alek is still Alek. Keep her tough and him gentlemanly.
Not to mention you are very good at creating new characters as well. I'm loving the other assistants you've created. I know its been a while since you've written something for this story but if you do decide to pick it up again, Try writing a few chapters ahead and then releasing them. It really is a different writing experience.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
Cheers.
-Johnsoneer
1JohnsoneerI applaud you on intertwining the romantic antics and the plot line together quite well. Really, well done thus far. I do heartily encourage you to write more. Not just because I think this story has weight but because you have all of the characters right. Deryn is still Deryn and Alek is still Alek. Keep her tough and him gentlemanly.
Not to mention you are very good at creating new characters as well. I'm loving the other assistants you've created. I know its been a while since you've written something for this story but if you do decide to pick it up again, Try writing a few chapters ahead and then releasing them. It really is a different writing experience.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
Cheers.
-Johnsoneer
7/7/2012 c4 Guest
Ohh...this is interesting. Can't wait til you upload again, I'm excited to see what you have in store for us.
A few misspelled words, you string each other together. But other than that you did pretty well.
Barking Lizards
Ohh...this is interesting. Can't wait til you upload again, I'm excited to see what you have in store for us.
A few misspelled words, you string each other together. But other than that you did pretty well.
Barking Lizards
5/10/2012 c2 jibblitmuffins3675
Hey. I think you to continue this story. It's very good. You're amazing!
Hey. I think you to continue this story. It's very good. You're amazing!
10/19/2011 c2 7MarvelousThings07
Awesome story so far! You've captured the characters really well. Can't wait for the next chapter for the appearance of Volger!
P.S. I loved the part with Bovril doing martial arts. Totaaly adorable!
7MarvelousThings07Awesome story so far! You've captured the characters really well. Can't wait for the next chapter for the appearance of Volger!
P.S. I loved the part with Bovril doing martial arts. Totaaly adorable!
10/18/2011 c2 23Cmdr. Gen. Marasco
Well, this is a first. This has got to be quite litterally the ONLY Leviathan fic that I've read that mentions the Minotaur. Thank you for going where apperently everyone else fears to tread.
And, unless I'm mistaken, I forsee a cat fight upcoming. Hopefully, anyway. I really doubt this Courtny could throw a punch like Deryn could.
23Cmdr. Gen. MarascoWell, this is a first. This has got to be quite litterally the ONLY Leviathan fic that I've read that mentions the Minotaur. Thank you for going where apperently everyone else fears to tread.
And, unless I'm mistaken, I forsee a cat fight upcoming. Hopefully, anyway. I really doubt this Courtny could throw a punch like Deryn could.
10/11/2011 c1 3Sadie Kane
borvil points: MUCH better(: im really digging this right now; reeeeaaaally entertaining and a great read so far! keep up the work!
3Sadie Kaneborvil points: MUCH better(: im really digging this right now; reeeeaaaally entertaining and a great read so far! keep up the work!
10/10/2011 c1 1stopthattimerave
Aaw, how cute! Poor Alek's got a hangover...and I like this! I want to keep reading!
1stopthattimeraveAaw, how cute! Poor Alek's got a hangover...and I like this! I want to keep reading!
10/10/2011 c1 11ReadySetJett
xDDD I LOVED that comment made up cleaning draft beasties bums. lolololololol
11ReadySetJettxDDD I LOVED that comment made up cleaning draft beasties bums. lolololololol