for Game Theory5/19 c16 
17Rowan Seven
SPOILERS!
This is one of the best "What If" stories I've had the pleasure of reading, and you have my sincere thanks for writing and sharing this story. Game Theory captivated me for hours as I read through the chapters, and skimming through the SpaceBattles threads kept me busy for days afterwards. The quality of the discussions this story has sparked is a testament to the depth of your and EarthScorpion's writing, and the "world-building" the two of you have done to flesh out the Nanoha-verse makes for intriguing reading. So, fantastic job all around.
There is a lot I can commend about this story. There's a great mix of comedy (Yay Vesta!) and drama, the intriguing concept, compelling characters, scenes rife with emotions, exciting battles, and a very effective writing style, among many other praiseworthy facets. I could ramble on for quite a while about what I liked, but I'll try to be comparatively succinct and stick to what I enjoyed the most.
First, you consistently amazed me with your ability to juggle so many named characters. This story probably rivals Nanoha StrikerS in terms of the size of its cast, but you managed to consistently give Precia's team, the TSAB, and even Nanoha's family and friends a satisfying amount of screentime and development. Particular kudos goes to Tiida Lanster's squad, most of whom are OCs. Despite being a support squad, they felt relevant to the story and were a lot of fun to see in action.
Secondly, the fight scenes in this story were amazing. The rogue submarine and hospital zombies are particular standouts, in my opinion. The battles generated a genuine sense of tension by actually placing the protagonists in danger and switching POVs to keep things interesting, and if it was your goal to emulate Puella Magi Madoka Magica in terms of making each "monster of the week" unique and memorable you succeeded admirably.
Thirdly, I applaud your ability to write a story where both the protagonists and the antagonists have sympathetic motivations and the gray vs. gray morality is maintained to the very end without one side forced to make a contrived jump across the moral event horizon to ensure that the protagonists are in the right. Precia's motivation is something that nearly anyone can comprehend and even be tempted to support despite the risks she's willing to take and the way she manipulates those around her, while the TSAB also had justifiable reasons for opposing her. Both Precia and the TSAB acted rationally based on their goals and the information they had at hand, and when the dust finally cleared it's debatable who was right and who was wrong, if indeed anybody was. Precia succeeded in saving her daughter's life, yes, but did she have the right to risk a giga-death scenario to do so? When do potential risks outweigh potential rewards, and when is risking one life to potentially save another worth it? These are questions I can't answer that the story raised, and it's refreshing to see a story that doesn't shortchange one side in the end to "justify" the heroes.
Finally, your take on Nanoha in this story is brilliant. Her interactions with virtually everyone, from her family and friends to Fate and Precia to the TSAB, highlighted the strengths of her character while also maintaining the reader's impression of her as a nine year old girl. Unlike many other stories starring a child or teenage protagonist, I did not forget Nanoha's age, and her journey as she navigated a complicated and treacherous reality was riveting.
And very appropriately, the different choices Nanoha made in your story and the consequences they produced have made her a different person than canon Nanoha. Precia's influence on her is especially intriguing, and I have the impression that Games Nanoha is more likely to follow in Precia's footsteps and become a scientist than she is to become a combat instructor. The desire to help others is the same, but the goal and methods are different. Nanoha's final exchange with Yuuno was a heartrending illustration of this and one of the most poignant scenes in the story, in my opinion. He unknowingly channeled everything that might have been and still could be in Nanoha canon, and Nanoha rejected it irrevocably to follow a different and less predictable path. Because of that, I strongly suspect that wherever Power Games is heading it isn't towards Nanoha and Fate making a delayed entry into the TSAB.
Moving on to criticisms, I'm afraid that when it comes to well written stories with enjoyable plots I'm better at lavishing praise on what I liked than I am at identifying and constructively analyzing what I didn't. It does seem to me, though, that your handling of Precia relies a great deal on the assumption that readers have knowledge of what she's like in canon and are using this to judge how she actually feels about Fate and how manipulative she's being of everyone around her. It's hinted at rather strongly and more or less confirmed in the author's notes, but an extra scene in-story between her and Linith where her mask drops might have helped further establish that, despite her increased rationality, she and canon Precia are not that far apart.
Regardless, thanks again for taking the time to write this story so well and share it online. Unlike a lot of fan fiction, this tale gave me a lot to think about after I got past the ending, and you've thoroughly interested me in the prospective sequels. I wish you good luck with your future writing.
17Rowan SevenSPOILERS!
This is one of the best "What If" stories I've had the pleasure of reading, and you have my sincere thanks for writing and sharing this story. Game Theory captivated me for hours as I read through the chapters, and skimming through the SpaceBattles threads kept me busy for days afterwards. The quality of the discussions this story has sparked is a testament to the depth of your and EarthScorpion's writing, and the "world-building" the two of you have done to flesh out the Nanoha-verse makes for intriguing reading. So, fantastic job all around.
There is a lot I can commend about this story. There's a great mix of comedy (Yay Vesta!) and drama, the intriguing concept, compelling characters, scenes rife with emotions, exciting battles, and a very effective writing style, among many other praiseworthy facets. I could ramble on for quite a while about what I liked, but I'll try to be comparatively succinct and stick to what I enjoyed the most.
First, you consistently amazed me with your ability to juggle so many named characters. This story probably rivals Nanoha StrikerS in terms of the size of its cast, but you managed to consistently give Precia's team, the TSAB, and even Nanoha's family and friends a satisfying amount of screentime and development. Particular kudos goes to Tiida Lanster's squad, most of whom are OCs. Despite being a support squad, they felt relevant to the story and were a lot of fun to see in action.
Secondly, the fight scenes in this story were amazing. The rogue submarine and hospital zombies are particular standouts, in my opinion. The battles generated a genuine sense of tension by actually placing the protagonists in danger and switching POVs to keep things interesting, and if it was your goal to emulate Puella Magi Madoka Magica in terms of making each "monster of the week" unique and memorable you succeeded admirably.
Thirdly, I applaud your ability to write a story where both the protagonists and the antagonists have sympathetic motivations and the gray vs. gray morality is maintained to the very end without one side forced to make a contrived jump across the moral event horizon to ensure that the protagonists are in the right. Precia's motivation is something that nearly anyone can comprehend and even be tempted to support despite the risks she's willing to take and the way she manipulates those around her, while the TSAB also had justifiable reasons for opposing her. Both Precia and the TSAB acted rationally based on their goals and the information they had at hand, and when the dust finally cleared it's debatable who was right and who was wrong, if indeed anybody was. Precia succeeded in saving her daughter's life, yes, but did she have the right to risk a giga-death scenario to do so? When do potential risks outweigh potential rewards, and when is risking one life to potentially save another worth it? These are questions I can't answer that the story raised, and it's refreshing to see a story that doesn't shortchange one side in the end to "justify" the heroes.
Finally, your take on Nanoha in this story is brilliant. Her interactions with virtually everyone, from her family and friends to Fate and Precia to the TSAB, highlighted the strengths of her character while also maintaining the reader's impression of her as a nine year old girl. Unlike many other stories starring a child or teenage protagonist, I did not forget Nanoha's age, and her journey as she navigated a complicated and treacherous reality was riveting.
And very appropriately, the different choices Nanoha made in your story and the consequences they produced have made her a different person than canon Nanoha. Precia's influence on her is especially intriguing, and I have the impression that Games Nanoha is more likely to follow in Precia's footsteps and become a scientist than she is to become a combat instructor. The desire to help others is the same, but the goal and methods are different. Nanoha's final exchange with Yuuno was a heartrending illustration of this and one of the most poignant scenes in the story, in my opinion. He unknowingly channeled everything that might have been and still could be in Nanoha canon, and Nanoha rejected it irrevocably to follow a different and less predictable path. Because of that, I strongly suspect that wherever Power Games is heading it isn't towards Nanoha and Fate making a delayed entry into the TSAB.
Moving on to criticisms, I'm afraid that when it comes to well written stories with enjoyable plots I'm better at lavishing praise on what I liked than I am at identifying and constructively analyzing what I didn't. It does seem to me, though, that your handling of Precia relies a great deal on the assumption that readers have knowledge of what she's like in canon and are using this to judge how she actually feels about Fate and how manipulative she's being of everyone around her. It's hinted at rather strongly and more or less confirmed in the author's notes, but an extra scene in-story between her and Linith where her mask drops might have helped further establish that, despite her increased rationality, she and canon Precia are not that far apart.
Regardless, thanks again for taking the time to write this story so well and share it online. Unlike a lot of fan fiction, this tale gave me a lot to think about after I got past the ending, and you've thoroughly interested me in the prospective sequels. I wish you good luck with your future writing.
5/10 c16 tenchifew
Absolutely amazing story.
Incredible characterization. To have Precia behave intelligently and show that behaving nicely is sometimes the best option even if you are not a good person was brilliantly done. Very nice Palpatine vibes were there more than once in the story.
Thank you very much for writing it.
Absolutely amazing story.
Incredible characterization. To have Precia behave intelligently and show that behaving nicely is sometimes the best option even if you are not a good person was brilliantly done. Very nice Palpatine vibes were there more than once in the story.
Thank you very much for writing it.
5/9 c16 Century Exai
An amazing fanfic, I loved every single chapter, Precia is done so much better then season 1 ever portrayed her, not to mention many characters we never really got to see like Quint being so well involved in it all.
An amazing fanfic, I loved every single chapter, Precia is done so much better then season 1 ever portrayed her, not to mention many characters we never really got to see like Quint being so well involved in it all.
5/1 c16 4Selryam
I felt there were some small problems with characterization here and there. A bunch of little things that made me say, "No! That's wrong, she wouldn't act like that!" Things like Precia's speech ever being not completely imperious. There was one instance where she said, "By the way," for example.
Personally I like Nanoha as the invincible, extraordinarily wise and mature girl she is in the series, but I didn't have any major qualms with your characterization of her here.
Vesta was a little annoying, but she works well as a highlight to Nanoha's inexperience and immaturity.
Overall I had a lot of fun reading this. Thanks for all your hard work.
4SelryamI felt there were some small problems with characterization here and there. A bunch of little things that made me say, "No! That's wrong, she wouldn't act like that!" Things like Precia's speech ever being not completely imperious. There was one instance where she said, "By the way," for example.
Personally I like Nanoha as the invincible, extraordinarily wise and mature girl she is in the series, but I didn't have any major qualms with your characterization of her here.
Vesta was a little annoying, but she works well as a highlight to Nanoha's inexperience and immaturity.
Overall I had a lot of fun reading this. Thanks for all your hard work.
4/23 c5 yobbin
Great chapter, it's certainly my favourite one so far. With Yuuno effectively alienating her from her friends with his crazy insistence on absolute secrecy, coupled with Chrono's shoot first and ask questions later attitude I can definitely see why she would choose to go with Fate.
Also I like the conversation about how police are trusted because they are older responsible adults, it's just one more reason that the TSAB use of child solders is a poor decision.
Great chapter, it's certainly my favourite one so far. With Yuuno effectively alienating her from her friends with his crazy insistence on absolute secrecy, coupled with Chrono's shoot first and ask questions later attitude I can definitely see why she would choose to go with Fate.
Also I like the conversation about how police are trusted because they are older responsible adults, it's just one more reason that the TSAB use of child solders is a poor decision.
4/23 c1 11Murazor
Overall, a fairly excellent story.
Well written, with good fight choreography, a plausible point of departure from canon and a satisfactory story arc.
If I were asked to find faults in the tale, I'd only be able to mention a vague feeling of the story being a tad overlong in places (the Jewel Seed hunting section, mostly) and certain minimal issues with characterization.
Overall, a keeper.
Now, onwards to the sequel.
11MurazorOverall, a fairly excellent story.
Well written, with good fight choreography, a plausible point of departure from canon and a satisfactory story arc.
If I were asked to find faults in the tale, I'd only be able to mention a vague feeling of the story being a tad overlong in places (the Jewel Seed hunting section, mostly) and certain minimal issues with characterization.
Overall, a keeper.
Now, onwards to the sequel.
4/12 c16 Aka Chibi-chan
My goodness another disaster is coming? Oh boy... I can't wait! I hope Nanoha and Fate will be there along with Alicia! I don't know how you're going to do write this I really looking forward to it.
Reading Game Theory was worth my time. I really enjoyed it and I know I'm going to enjoy Power games too! Keep up the great writing! And seriously you are an amazing writer.
My goodness another disaster is coming? Oh boy... I can't wait! I hope Nanoha and Fate will be there along with Alicia! I don't know how you're going to do write this I really looking forward to it.
Reading Game Theory was worth my time. I really enjoyed it and I know I'm going to enjoy Power games too! Keep up the great writing! And seriously you are an amazing writer.
4/12 c15 Aka Chibi-chan
Yes! Happy ending! Yes Nanoha it was definitely worth it! I'm so happy w I hope there are many more happy moments like this in Power Games. Great work!
Yes! Happy ending! Yes Nanoha it was definitely worth it! I'm so happy w I hope there are many more happy moments like this in Power Games. Great work!
4/12 c14 Aka Chibi-chan
Wow that was great! Though it was sad when Nanoha had to make such a sad deduction but thank god she did. I don't know what would happen to Fate if she didn't. It was also nice to see the connection between Nanoha and Fate. It was kinda romantic yet not since they're only nine years old but still romantic.
And great chapter! I can't wait to see how you ended this. And hopefully Precia didn't fail like how Yuuno mentioned.
Wow that was great! Though it was sad when Nanoha had to make such a sad deduction but thank god she did. I don't know what would happen to Fate if she didn't. It was also nice to see the connection between Nanoha and Fate. It was kinda romantic yet not since they're only nine years old but still romantic.
And great chapter! I can't wait to see how you ended this. And hopefully Precia didn't fail like how Yuuno mentioned.
4/12 c13 Aka Chibi-chan
Oh my goodness that was hectic. And I can't believe Nanoha almost killed people! And that she shut down the defense system! Well at least it came back on. But jeez that was hectic.
Great chapter! I hope Precia is almost done.
Oh my goodness that was hectic. And I can't believe Nanoha almost killed people! And that she shut down the defense system! Well at least it came back on. But jeez that was hectic.
Great chapter! I hope Precia is almost done.
4/10 c12 Aka Chibi-chan
Aw baby Lutecia I would love to see that. Though Meg is really scary. Her personality is really powerful and brutal. Haha
And Precia! You make me feel conflicted. I don't know if I should be happy or sad that she might die. She's so awesome in this fic. I'm actually hoping that she survives. That scene with Fate embracing her was so heartwarming.
And I see the TSAB is getting ready for a war. It's actually fun how they have to form such a huge number of fighters, mages, and ships just for Precia. That's just sad an funny at the same time. And I can't wait how it goes. Keep up the great work.
Aw baby Lutecia I would love to see that. Though Meg is really scary. Her personality is really powerful and brutal. Haha
And Precia! You make me feel conflicted. I don't know if I should be happy or sad that she might die. She's so awesome in this fic. I'm actually hoping that she survives. That scene with Fate embracing her was so heartwarming.
And I see the TSAB is getting ready for a war. It's actually fun how they have to form such a huge number of fighters, mages, and ships just for Precia. That's just sad an funny at the same time. And I can't wait how it goes. Keep up the great work.
4/9 c11 Aka Chibi-chan
Oh my goodness that was so much information and that battle was really brutal. Holy crap that was extreme. Great job! Another great battle, but I feel exhausted just reading that. Nonetheless great chapter! Keep up the great work.
Oh my goodness that was so much information and that battle was really brutal. Holy crap that was extreme. Great job! Another great battle, but I feel exhausted just reading that. Nonetheless great chapter! Keep up the great work.
4/7 c10 Aka Chibi-chan
Wow that was something. I have never read such an amazing escape. And it was done by two little girls and two familiars. It just seems so amazingly impossible. Wow I'm pretty speechless.
but Fate is just so awesome! I can't believe Nanoha and Fate escaped that! Amazing! I think the TSAB is pretty weak now that they showed how tactless they are. Jeez what an awesome chapter! I can't wait to read more! XD
Wow that was something. I have never read such an amazing escape. And it was done by two little girls and two familiars. It just seems so amazingly impossible. Wow I'm pretty speechless.
but Fate is just so awesome! I can't believe Nanoha and Fate escaped that! Amazing! I think the TSAB is pretty weak now that they showed how tactless they are. Jeez what an awesome chapter! I can't wait to read more! XD
4/6 c9 Aka Chibi-chan
Oh my god! That was amazing! That fight was crazy and mind blowing! And Nanoha finally reveals SLB! But man how can those two NINE year olds handle such beatings and pain! Especially Nanoha. My god that's ridiculous. the TSBA should be ashamed. Beating up little girls.
Anyways amazing chapter! I loved every bit of it! I really enjoyed Vesta "play" with Yuuno. Lol that was hilarious. It's so great so far and I can't wait to see how this turns out. If Game Theory is this amazing. I'm really looking forward to Power Games. Keep up the great work!
Oh my god! That was amazing! That fight was crazy and mind blowing! And Nanoha finally reveals SLB! But man how can those two NINE year olds handle such beatings and pain! Especially Nanoha. My god that's ridiculous. the TSBA should be ashamed. Beating up little girls.
Anyways amazing chapter! I loved every bit of it! I really enjoyed Vesta "play" with Yuuno. Lol that was hilarious. It's so great so far and I can't wait to see how this turns out. If Game Theory is this amazing. I'm really looking forward to Power Games. Keep up the great work!
4/5 c8 Aka Chibi-chan
I'm very impressed with this chapter. You are very knowledgable! How you described the transformation form animal to familiar was very intriguing. I really liked that. It felt so real so amazing it felt like I was experiencing it myself. I loved it. Great job.
And having Tiida, Zest, Quint, and Megane here. I see you're setting up all the pieces for future sequel other than Game Power. And it's so cute to see Tea be an energetic child! XD she's so cute
Great chapter as always! I really like the last scene! Precia is still evilly scheme but I liked the focus on familiars in this chapter. Linith's little scene was warming and pleasant.
I'm very impressed with this chapter. You are very knowledgable! How you described the transformation form animal to familiar was very intriguing. I really liked that. It felt so real so amazing it felt like I was experiencing it myself. I loved it. Great job.
And having Tiida, Zest, Quint, and Megane here. I see you're setting up all the pieces for future sequel other than Game Power. And it's so cute to see Tea be an energetic child! XD she's so cute
Great chapter as always! I really like the last scene! Precia is still evilly scheme but I liked the focus on familiars in this chapter. Linith's little scene was warming and pleasant.