for Before He Cheats
112/22/2011 c1 SoonerMagic
Haha, that was the best! Like seriously! And sure, you know, you made some mistakes but that's what happens with writers. Heck, my stories are one big mistake lol! But it was cool, even though I absolutely detest Carrie Underwood and that song, but it cracks me up every time it comes on the radio! Loved it!
~ SoonerMagic (I forgot to sign in)
Haha, that was the best! Like seriously! And sure, you know, you made some mistakes but that's what happens with writers. Heck, my stories are one big mistake lol! But it was cool, even though I absolutely detest Carrie Underwood and that song, but it cracks me up every time it comes on the radio! Loved it!
~ SoonerMagic (I forgot to sign in)
12/11/2011 c1 Nameless
"Shania Karaoke" would be karaoke to a Shania Twain song... She's a country singer, and she has a bit of a tendency towards trashy/racy songs. Look some up if you want a better example :)
"Shania Karaoke" would be karaoke to a Shania Twain song... She's a country singer, and she has a bit of a tendency towards trashy/racy songs. Look some up if you want a better example :)
12/11/2011 c1 Guest
Shaniah kareoki i kerioke fom th artist shaniah twain
Shaniah kareoki i kerioke fom th artist shaniah twain
12/11/2011 c1 Wolfcharm18
DYLAN CHEATED ON MAX! ._. Wow never knew he had the capability to cheat on her, seeing he's design to love her and all XP.
On to the review. First of all you should describe what's happening better (such as the scenery, people, ect.) because at the beginning when it said "give it up for... Max Ride" I thought that Max said it to herself or something like that (yah I know I'm an idiot for not getting it right away, but still it would help if you mentioned that the announcer person said it). It would also help to mention Max and Dylan's ages since I assume people would think that they would be fifteen when they first started to read it, but then see that Dylan could drive and be all "wait a minute, just how old are they?"
And well this part is more of my opinion I suppose, but you might not to make it just like the song in this situation. It just seems like to munch of a coincidence that everything that she was singing in Carrie Underwood's song was what the girl looked like, what Dylan and her where doing, and what Max did to Dylan's Ride (huh, "ride", "Max Ride" wow I just got that :D) I'm not saying that It has to be 100% different from the song (after all it wouldn't be a songfic now would it?), but if you made somethings different I think it would be more appealing to the readers (although like I said this is more of my opinion)
Well yah that's pretty much all I can think of except for if you are ever plan on making a lengthy story (a kinda long one-shot or a more then one chapter story) You should write in paragraphs and combined what I first said about the describing part and you should be fine.
Oh! I did like this story just incase you thought I didn't! I just thought give you some advice that's all :3 so yah that's all, sorry for the rather long comment ._.
ASTA LA PASTA!
Wolfcharm18~
DYLAN CHEATED ON MAX! ._. Wow never knew he had the capability to cheat on her, seeing he's design to love her and all XP.
On to the review. First of all you should describe what's happening better (such as the scenery, people, ect.) because at the beginning when it said "give it up for... Max Ride" I thought that Max said it to herself or something like that (yah I know I'm an idiot for not getting it right away, but still it would help if you mentioned that the announcer person said it). It would also help to mention Max and Dylan's ages since I assume people would think that they would be fifteen when they first started to read it, but then see that Dylan could drive and be all "wait a minute, just how old are they?"
And well this part is more of my opinion I suppose, but you might not to make it just like the song in this situation. It just seems like to munch of a coincidence that everything that she was singing in Carrie Underwood's song was what the girl looked like, what Dylan and her where doing, and what Max did to Dylan's Ride (huh, "ride", "Max Ride" wow I just got that :D) I'm not saying that It has to be 100% different from the song (after all it wouldn't be a songfic now would it?), but if you made somethings different I think it would be more appealing to the readers (although like I said this is more of my opinion)
Well yah that's pretty much all I can think of except for if you are ever plan on making a lengthy story (a kinda long one-shot or a more then one chapter story) You should write in paragraphs and combined what I first said about the describing part and you should be fine.
Oh! I did like this story just incase you thought I didn't! I just thought give you some advice that's all :3 so yah that's all, sorry for the rather long comment ._.
ASTA LA PASTA!
Wolfcharm18~