for A Mother's Peace in the Noise and Mess12/12/2011 c1 JuliaKidlet
Hey, I enjoyed this story. I like your clarification of just how bored Hermione is (and I sympathize, because I can't sit still, either). I also enjoy how you show Hermione's attachment to her family and what she loves about each of her family members. Nice work!
One thing to keep in mind is that proper nouns, which are specific people and places, should be capitalized. So "hogsmead," which is the name of a specific village, and "the three broomsticks," which is the name of a specific pub, should be "Hogsmeade" and "The Three Broomsticks" or "the Three Broomsticks," respectively, to make it clearer for the reader.
On that note, I would like to refer you to a creative roleplaying site called Rocky Mountain International (www. rmimagic .com). From this story it looks like you'd fit in wonderfully with the other creative writers there, and I think they need a staff member too. You should definitely take a look. :)
Hey, I enjoyed this story. I like your clarification of just how bored Hermione is (and I sympathize, because I can't sit still, either). I also enjoy how you show Hermione's attachment to her family and what she loves about each of her family members. Nice work!
One thing to keep in mind is that proper nouns, which are specific people and places, should be capitalized. So "hogsmead," which is the name of a specific village, and "the three broomsticks," which is the name of a specific pub, should be "Hogsmeade" and "The Three Broomsticks" or "the Three Broomsticks," respectively, to make it clearer for the reader.
On that note, I would like to refer you to a creative roleplaying site called Rocky Mountain International (www. rmimagic .com). From this story it looks like you'd fit in wonderfully with the other creative writers there, and I think they need a staff member too. You should definitely take a look. :)
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