for Different Decisions6/4 c8 Wrangwrang
Have u recovered the story yet?
Have u recovered the story yet?
4/30 c8 Pie
Are you ever going to update thid?
Are you ever going to update thid?
9/21/2012 c7 
4Cloudcity'sbookworm
Please come back to us! We love this story and from what you've told me about it, it kills me to not be able to read it. Keep up the good work : )
4Cloudcity'sbookwormPlease come back to us! We love this story and from what you've told me about it, it kills me to not be able to read it. Keep up the good work : )
2/21/2012 c6 Leo Delkin
I actually liked the fight. There's something to be said for being succinct. Not saying that bigger fights won't be cool when you get to them, but I feel like this one did what it needed to.
Quick note: when dealing with dialogue, specifically in paragraphs 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, and 18, remember to create a new paragraph whenever someone other than the original speaker says something. Otherwise it becomes difficult to distinguish the speakers.
All told, not a half-bad chapter, eh? I certainly enjoyed it.
I actually liked the fight. There's something to be said for being succinct. Not saying that bigger fights won't be cool when you get to them, but I feel like this one did what it needed to.
Quick note: when dealing with dialogue, specifically in paragraphs 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, and 18, remember to create a new paragraph whenever someone other than the original speaker says something. Otherwise it becomes difficult to distinguish the speakers.
All told, not a half-bad chapter, eh? I certainly enjoyed it.
2/20/2012 c5 Leo Delkin
I'm glad to see you're posting again! Concerning the chapter length, maybe you should just combine two chapters into one, if you think that a low Words:Chapters ratio might scare away potential readers. Personally, I'd say that 900ish words is fine, though I do prefer them longer.
Anyway, wondering: who is the Amelia character? She's not going to be some unstoppable, unparalleled super-mutant, right? Because we've got Jean, Wanda, and (to a lesser, but better trained, extent) Logan for that. I'm interested to see what you end up doing with her, so long as you remember that a balanced character is an interesting character. I don't want to come off as some kind of "Mary-Sue alarmist," it's just that I've walked this path before... I trust you, though- let's see where this story takes us! I'm excited!
I'm glad to see you're posting again! Concerning the chapter length, maybe you should just combine two chapters into one, if you think that a low Words:Chapters ratio might scare away potential readers. Personally, I'd say that 900ish words is fine, though I do prefer them longer.
Anyway, wondering: who is the Amelia character? She's not going to be some unstoppable, unparalleled super-mutant, right? Because we've got Jean, Wanda, and (to a lesser, but better trained, extent) Logan for that. I'm interested to see what you end up doing with her, so long as you remember that a balanced character is an interesting character. I don't want to come off as some kind of "Mary-Sue alarmist," it's just that I've walked this path before... I trust you, though- let's see where this story takes us! I'm excited!
2/20/2012 c4 truth
you're doing it wrong. you dont hold chapters hostage for reviews. that discourages otherwise interested reader/reviewers. i know of three people in my dorm who have read the chapters you've got and refuse to review based on the fact that you are trying to make it compulsory. people will review as you write more chapters. more people read longer stories, and more people review them. as it is, you're just being a tool, which leads people to stop caring about your story. which is a shame, since you're a pretty good writer.
you're doing it wrong. you dont hold chapters hostage for reviews. that discourages otherwise interested reader/reviewers. i know of three people in my dorm who have read the chapters you've got and refuse to review based on the fact that you are trying to make it compulsory. people will review as you write more chapters. more people read longer stories, and more people review them. as it is, you're just being a tool, which leads people to stop caring about your story. which is a shame, since you're a pretty good writer.
2/13/2012 c3 Speedy Fan
You need to make the chapters longer. But I still like the plot. Please update soon.
You need to make the chapters longer. But I still like the plot. Please update soon.
2/13/2012 c3 Guest
Where's Wanda?
Where's Wanda?
2/13/2012 c2 PTXM
Is Pietro going to be an X-Man?
Is Pietro going to be an X-Man?
1/27/2012 c1 Speedy Fan
Nice start. I like this story so far. Please update soon.
Nice start. I like this story so far. Please update soon.
1/26/2012 c1 18Winds of the Desert
Good start. Make sure to flesh out the story and characters more, and make sure the couple pairings are good!
18Winds of the DesertGood start. Make sure to flesh out the story and characters more, and make sure the couple pairings are good!