for Breaking the Promise3/18 c21 
25Dragon-Sigma
Nice! I love the White Lotus. And I want to see Aang and Roku. Past Avatars always make for good reading.
25Dragon-SigmaNice! I love the White Lotus. And I want to see Aang and Roku. Past Avatars always make for good reading.
3/8 c21 20The Melon Lord Approves
Excuse me while I go die a little.
This is a hella powerful chapter.
I cannot say anything that you did not already say tenfold.
You have killed the Melon Lord. Congratulations.
(And for clarification, I think we should return to Zuko before we see Aang's confrontation with Roku.)
20The Melon Lord ApprovesExcuse me while I go die a little.
This is a hella powerful chapter.
I cannot say anything that you did not already say tenfold.
You have killed the Melon Lord. Congratulations.
(And for clarification, I think we should return to Zuko before we see Aang's confrontation with Roku.)
3/6 c21 8VividDreamer624
Ok so I am all caught up with your story...man my heart goes out to Aang there is so much going on and so many things to consider. Consulting Roku and maybe even Avatar Kyoshi can help him gauge how best to deal with his situation.
King Keui's obstinance and opposition is strange he's traveled the length of the kingdom during his exile you think he would have learned something or maybe what he has done because he was so naive he is stubborn because he doesn't want to get played.
Zuko is literally carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and hopefully peace talks won't get super ugly.
Man I feel like I'm reading a real history book of the great conflict of the Harmony Restoration Movement, which means good job.
8VividDreamer624Ok so I am all caught up with your story...man my heart goes out to Aang there is so much going on and so many things to consider. Consulting Roku and maybe even Avatar Kyoshi can help him gauge how best to deal with his situation.
King Keui's obstinance and opposition is strange he's traveled the length of the kingdom during his exile you think he would have learned something or maybe what he has done because he was so naive he is stubborn because he doesn't want to get played.
Zuko is literally carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and hopefully peace talks won't get super ugly.
Man I feel like I'm reading a real history book of the great conflict of the Harmony Restoration Movement, which means good job.
3/5 c21 5Friedchicken23
You did very well with both arguments, and the fact that you went further into depth and showed how big an issue it was was great. Can't wait for more!
-FC
5Friedchicken23You did very well with both arguments, and the fact that you went further into depth and showed how big an issue it was was great. Can't wait for more!
-FC
3/4 c21 121Alabaster86
Your prose is clear and clean (look! it's an acne medication commercial) and you are true to the characters we know and love, while still allowing room for them to have grown up a bit.
You delve deeply into issues that the comic either skims over or bypasses altogether, and you do it with care and thought and skill. I know how much work went into this chapter and the story in general and believe me, it all paid off.
You've got a wonderful story, PF, one that I am so proud to be even a tiny part of.
Alabaster
121Alabaster86Your prose is clear and clean (look! it's an acne medication commercial) and you are true to the characters we know and love, while still allowing room for them to have grown up a bit.
You delve deeply into issues that the comic either skims over or bypasses altogether, and you do it with care and thought and skill. I know how much work went into this chapter and the story in general and believe me, it all paid off.
You've got a wonderful story, PF, one that I am so proud to be even a tiny part of.
Alabaster
3/4 c21 Guest
I think you hit the nail on the head in a lot of ways with your additional argument. I've studied decolonisation before and the thing they always seem to pass over is the effect on the colonist's descendants. So it was kind of weird reading about it in a fan fiction. Some of my ancestors were British settlers who went over to Africa in the early 19th C and I know from stories it was hard when Britain started withdrawing from the colonies, like they had nowhere to turn to. You set up your entire life in a place and then are basically told you don't belong there. I can imagine the Fire Nation colonials feeling the same way.
Sorry if that's a bit off topic, it's just that in regards to your story, that is what interests me about it. There were a lot of aspects overshot in The Promise that really annoyed me, especially in regards to the 'bigger picture,' but then I suppose it is just a kid's show/comic, so easy fixes and happy endings are prevalent. Anyway, before I start babbling on again, what I really enjoy about your story is how you've gone more in depth with the issues. The addition of the White Lotus' involvement was really clever and I am looking forward to see how things will play out.
I think you hit the nail on the head in a lot of ways with your additional argument. I've studied decolonisation before and the thing they always seem to pass over is the effect on the colonist's descendants. So it was kind of weird reading about it in a fan fiction. Some of my ancestors were British settlers who went over to Africa in the early 19th C and I know from stories it was hard when Britain started withdrawing from the colonies, like they had nowhere to turn to. You set up your entire life in a place and then are basically told you don't belong there. I can imagine the Fire Nation colonials feeling the same way.
Sorry if that's a bit off topic, it's just that in regards to your story, that is what interests me about it. There were a lot of aspects overshot in The Promise that really annoyed me, especially in regards to the 'bigger picture,' but then I suppose it is just a kid's show/comic, so easy fixes and happy endings are prevalent. Anyway, before I start babbling on again, what I really enjoy about your story is how you've gone more in depth with the issues. The addition of the White Lotus' involvement was really clever and I am looking forward to see how things will play out.
2/14 c20 25Dragon-Sigma
Good! I like everyday-life-in-a-crisis scenes. You got the atmosphere across very well.
25Dragon-SigmaGood! I like everyday-life-in-a-crisis scenes. You got the atmosphere across very well.
2/10 c20 5Friedchicken23
Another great chapter. I love the interaction between Aang and Katara and between the White Lotus members. I'm looking forward to more. Please pdate soon.
-FC
5Friedchicken23Another great chapter. I love the interaction between Aang and Katara and between the White Lotus members. I'm looking forward to more. Please pdate soon.
-FC
2/10 c19 Friedchicken23
Wow, everything is getting tense. And I like how you included the Order of the White Lotus in the story. Can't wait to see what happens next.
-FC
Wow, everything is getting tense. And I like how you included the Order of the White Lotus in the story. Can't wait to see what happens next.
-FC
2/7 c20 121Alabaster86
Knowing how difficult writing has been for you lately, it's a treat to get two chapters so close together.
Once again, you've mananged to expertly weave complex ideas with good dialogue and excellent characterizations all while building up a great sense of suspense re the ideas that will be imparted to Aang.
When I read your story I feel as though I AM in the Avatar world. You bring it to life.
Wonderful job, my friend.
Alabaster
121Alabaster86Knowing how difficult writing has been for you lately, it's a treat to get two chapters so close together.
Once again, you've mananged to expertly weave complex ideas with good dialogue and excellent characterizations all while building up a great sense of suspense re the ideas that will be imparted to Aang.
When I read your story I feel as though I AM in the Avatar world. You bring it to life.
Wonderful job, my friend.
Alabaster
2/6 c20 20The Melon Lord Approves
Why do you constantly blow me away with how fabulous this is?
Ugh, why couldn't they have hired you instead of Gene Yang? Admittedly, then it would have been a much longer comic... but let's be real, although Yang started out with a decent idea, the execution was pretty sloppy. This, however, is anything but.
I love how you write all the characters, and I love your use of the White Lotus (particularly in these last couple chapters), and I love how you write all the different romances in the series because you truly capture the unique character and flavor of each relationship, and I love that you're actually taking a second to stop and delve into the issues here the way they deserved rather than the cursory surface study Yang gave them.
And why do I have a funny feeling that what Liu wants to talk about has something to do with a certain imbalance within the nations... or, more specifically, the fact that at present there are only three of them?
20The Melon Lord ApprovesWhy do you constantly blow me away with how fabulous this is?
Ugh, why couldn't they have hired you instead of Gene Yang? Admittedly, then it would have been a much longer comic... but let's be real, although Yang started out with a decent idea, the execution was pretty sloppy. This, however, is anything but.
I love how you write all the characters, and I love your use of the White Lotus (particularly in these last couple chapters), and I love how you write all the different romances in the series because you truly capture the unique character and flavor of each relationship, and I love that you're actually taking a second to stop and delve into the issues here the way they deserved rather than the cursory surface study Yang gave them.
And why do I have a funny feeling that what Liu wants to talk about has something to do with a certain imbalance within the nations... or, more specifically, the fact that at present there are only three of them?
2/5 c19 25Dragon-Sigma
Very good! Nice job with the OWL. Introducing a lot of characters at once can be hard. The tension is working nicely as well, building up to the battle/confrontation.
25Dragon-SigmaVery good! Nice job with the OWL. Introducing a lot of characters at once can be hard. The tension is working nicely as well, building up to the battle/confrontation.
2/4 c19 14brainandheart
Fantastic story! I definitely like how you're giving the different characters as equal an amount of "screen time" as possible, and I appreciate how you highlight the interactions between all of them. Of course I enjoy that you're giving "The Promise" more depth and realism. I think the addition of the Dai Li might be a little too much, but I'll wait to see how you develop the storyline. I eagerly await the next installment!
14brainandheartFantastic story! I definitely like how you're giving the different characters as equal an amount of "screen time" as possible, and I appreciate how you highlight the interactions between all of them. Of course I enjoy that you're giving "The Promise" more depth and realism. I think the addition of the Dai Li might be a little too much, but I'll wait to see how you develop the storyline. I eagerly await the next installment!
2/1 c19 121Alabaster86
I love how you show the solidarity betweeen Aang and Katara...her accepting the invitation to stay the night, knowing that Aang's head was already full of enough stuff, shows how well each knows the other.
Ping's wondering about Iroh and the FN throne addresses questions that we fans often have...why leave Zuko with so much responsibility etc.
Aang's desperation to solve all without violence and conflict comes through nicely too.
And I love that we get a nice representation of OWL members.
Well done as expected. I'm glad that you've got your mojo back!
121Alabaster86I love how you show the solidarity betweeen Aang and Katara...her accepting the invitation to stay the night, knowing that Aang's head was already full of enough stuff, shows how well each knows the other.
Ping's wondering about Iroh and the FN throne addresses questions that we fans often have...why leave Zuko with so much responsibility etc.
Aang's desperation to solve all without violence and conflict comes through nicely too.
And I love that we get a nice representation of OWL members.
Well done as expected. I'm glad that you've got your mojo back!