for Anne Boleyn of Brittany2/29/2012 c1 
17VelocityGirl1980
This story is certainly an interesting concept. However, how can Anne Boleyn be born to another family, yet keep her name (however you choose to spell it?) Surely she is a Valois? Her family name is from the paternal side, so change the father and the name changes with it.
Also, the Queen/Duchess business. You could just use the higher of ther titles, and have her addressed as Queen only. For instance, Anne Boleyn was plain old "Queen" and not "Queen/Marquess" in her address.
As well as that, having numerics in stories is quite off putting. Instead of 2 and 3, two and three should be spelled out. But that is a small matter, really.
Please don't think I am giving a negative review. I think the story is definitely an interesting one, and you have promise as a writer. You just need to brush up a little, and practise (and that is what we're all doing here!). I would like to see you continue this story, and watch how it develops.
17VelocityGirl1980This story is certainly an interesting concept. However, how can Anne Boleyn be born to another family, yet keep her name (however you choose to spell it?) Surely she is a Valois? Her family name is from the paternal side, so change the father and the name changes with it.
Also, the Queen/Duchess business. You could just use the higher of ther titles, and have her addressed as Queen only. For instance, Anne Boleyn was plain old "Queen" and not "Queen/Marquess" in her address.
As well as that, having numerics in stories is quite off putting. Instead of 2 and 3, two and three should be spelled out. But that is a small matter, really.
Please don't think I am giving a negative review. I think the story is definitely an interesting one, and you have promise as a writer. You just need to brush up a little, and practise (and that is what we're all doing here!). I would like to see you continue this story, and watch how it develops.
2/29/2012 c2 sometryingtohelp
You to need to stop calling anne anne boleyn. If yourr putting that she is the daugbter of the king and queen of france she would have been anne princess of france boleyn is a very english last name
You to need to stop calling anne anne boleyn. If yourr putting that she is the daugbter of the king and queen of france she would have been anne princess of france boleyn is a very english last name