for Sunset10/20/2012 c7 
4owlhero
"Sleep, rest, death. Are they the same" Interesting question I would say yes with the only difference being length of time and status of the person doing it.
The explanation for Noah coming to this new world is very reasonable from a certain view. Especially if someone or something felt they needed a replacement for the older version. An additional person to balance the sides out. Though not by much I must say so far.
I can hear the groan in his thoughts as Noah wondered why his life had to be so complicated.
The body procession was a little out there...Then again there are the elemental guardians. You think I would gotten used to reading the unexpected sometimes. Not completely.
As for Julius, I loved Noah's description of him and his smile. We never really see how they deeply feel about him in any of DE10's stories. I mean its obviously there but never expressed.
You have a talent for battle description with that cyclone. Noah's confusion mirrors my own.
Sure I would not mind what you are working on. Two questions: Is it leaning towards being published or juat another one of the writing projects you work on?
4owlhero"Sleep, rest, death. Are they the same" Interesting question I would say yes with the only difference being length of time and status of the person doing it.
The explanation for Noah coming to this new world is very reasonable from a certain view. Especially if someone or something felt they needed a replacement for the older version. An additional person to balance the sides out. Though not by much I must say so far.
I can hear the groan in his thoughts as Noah wondered why his life had to be so complicated.
The body procession was a little out there...Then again there are the elemental guardians. You think I would gotten used to reading the unexpected sometimes. Not completely.
As for Julius, I loved Noah's description of him and his smile. We never really see how they deeply feel about him in any of DE10's stories. I mean its obviously there but never expressed.
You have a talent for battle description with that cyclone. Noah's confusion mirrors my own.
Sure I would not mind what you are working on. Two questions: Is it leaning towards being published or juat another one of the writing projects you work on?
10/14/2012 c7 10Wyntirsno
Wow, that was interesting how both Noah's shared one body. But it makes sense too. Now that they won, more or less, will Noah be sent back to his own time? I am still trying to figure out who the woman is. I have a couple ideas, but am probably wrong.
You don't happen to have the next chapter written too, do you?
10WyntirsnoWow, that was interesting how both Noah's shared one body. But it makes sense too. Now that they won, more or less, will Noah be sent back to his own time? I am still trying to figure out who the woman is. I have a couple ideas, but am probably wrong.
You don't happen to have the next chapter written too, do you?
8/29/2012 c6 4owlhero
It would not be a tiger fic without the random inspiration.
Love the usage of the clouds for the Xyscons' metal wings. Gives a slight element of disguise to the beginning.
I could sense Noah's self-confidence tinged with nervousness as he prepared for the fight. He certainly has the family fighting spirit even though he is more grounded like Sydney.
Julius's arrivall threw me for a loop because the first mention is sort of just thrown in casually into a sentence, not being given any special treatment.
Noah's view on Julius's darker fighting is true. Now if he lost sight of what he was fighting for than maybe his darkness would take over.
The surprise strike has me on edge till the chapter's end. The CD analogy about Julius's voice is very apt in its usage.
I have to wonder if the poison is having an effect on Noah's vision? But you would not do that would you?
4owlheroIt would not be a tiger fic without the random inspiration.
Love the usage of the clouds for the Xyscons' metal wings. Gives a slight element of disguise to the beginning.
I could sense Noah's self-confidence tinged with nervousness as he prepared for the fight. He certainly has the family fighting spirit even though he is more grounded like Sydney.
Julius's arrivall threw me for a loop because the first mention is sort of just thrown in casually into a sentence, not being given any special treatment.
Noah's view on Julius's darker fighting is true. Now if he lost sight of what he was fighting for than maybe his darkness would take over.
The surprise strike has me on edge till the chapter's end. The CD analogy about Julius's voice is very apt in its usage.
I have to wonder if the poison is having an effect on Noah's vision? But you would not do that would you?
8/25/2012 c6 10Wyntirsno
Wow... so many of them. I guess they are actually doing pretty good though for only three against hundreds. I'm glad to see Julius, he is one of my favorites, even though we don't always get to see him as much. Are they the only three there? No one is coming out of the base?
Poor Noah, he just can't catch a break. He seemed to know the woman in the sky... Will he be ok? Is he waking up in his own time? He forgot his name?
10WyntirsnoWow... so many of them. I guess they are actually doing pretty good though for only three against hundreds. I'm glad to see Julius, he is one of my favorites, even though we don't always get to see him as much. Are they the only three there? No one is coming out of the base?
Poor Noah, he just can't catch a break. He seemed to know the woman in the sky... Will he be ok? Is he waking up in his own time? He forgot his name?
8/1/2012 c5 4owlhero
I was fooled by how this came about but how could not remember time travel?...Oh wait I sort of did.
Patrick's cooking must be lethal for Noah to think he was poisoned. But wow, spoons dancing on the moon? He must have been real bad.
I feel like Noah with the confusion. With Noah's thoughts about time travel, you can see the connection back to the conversation with Sydney three chapters ago and the consistant character you are showing the readers. The difficulty with high-end abstract mathematics. A similar connection goes to the times Noah woke or fell and was confused. You are connecting different elements to tie-in the story.
The question is how could silver bend time? Jayden commenting about the technology left from Christian and Core speaks to me and says the world is on its last legs and this is desperation.
The confusion about their powers' existance speaks directly to the many times in the elemental stories where the gang was almost at a loss as to y something happened and what to do about it.
The description of the world sounds like a Null void or a shadow world. I love the alternate history you decided to build. It keeps to the earlier canon but it has your own spin. The relationship between light/darkness and hope makes perfect sense. However I was confused they would not share the news about their refound abilities with Zack and Cody but considering the Jacksons' secretive nature, its understandable.
Jayden's elemental glow seems to be influenced by Noah. However the voice seems to me to be the new Lady of darkness. It seems as though she could tempt people to her side or have them surrounder to the darkness. Love the shifting world and sight as the unknown girl/woman speaks to Noah and she starts to drown in darkness.
Xyscons? A corruption of the elemental realm? Who or what were they before they were corrupted? I am guessing this lady of darkness has something to do with this.
4owlheroI was fooled by how this came about but how could not remember time travel?...Oh wait I sort of did.
Patrick's cooking must be lethal for Noah to think he was poisoned. But wow, spoons dancing on the moon? He must have been real bad.
I feel like Noah with the confusion. With Noah's thoughts about time travel, you can see the connection back to the conversation with Sydney three chapters ago and the consistant character you are showing the readers. The difficulty with high-end abstract mathematics. A similar connection goes to the times Noah woke or fell and was confused. You are connecting different elements to tie-in the story.
The question is how could silver bend time? Jayden commenting about the technology left from Christian and Core speaks to me and says the world is on its last legs and this is desperation.
The confusion about their powers' existance speaks directly to the many times in the elemental stories where the gang was almost at a loss as to y something happened and what to do about it.
The description of the world sounds like a Null void or a shadow world. I love the alternate history you decided to build. It keeps to the earlier canon but it has your own spin. The relationship between light/darkness and hope makes perfect sense. However I was confused they would not share the news about their refound abilities with Zack and Cody but considering the Jacksons' secretive nature, its understandable.
Jayden's elemental glow seems to be influenced by Noah. However the voice seems to me to be the new Lady of darkness. It seems as though she could tempt people to her side or have them surrounder to the darkness. Love the shifting world and sight as the unknown girl/woman speaks to Noah and she starts to drown in darkness.
Xyscons? A corruption of the elemental realm? Who or what were they before they were corrupted? I am guessing this lady of darkness has something to do with this.
7/30/2012 c5 10Wyntirsno
That was interesting, still don't know who 'she' is. Funny I thought the Xyscons were bigger. I know they are still nasty things, I hope they can get rid of them. I'm getting from Noah's chat with Jayden that he is no longer around in this time period. I can't wait to see what is going on.
10WyntirsnoThat was interesting, still don't know who 'she' is. Funny I thought the Xyscons were bigger. I know they are still nasty things, I hope they can get rid of them. I'm getting from Noah's chat with Jayden that he is no longer around in this time period. I can't wait to see what is going on.
7/1/2012 c4 4owlhero
Well this was well worth the wait.
Using water almost as a connotation is a first in quite a while.
I was shocked and mystified with Jayden. Between the memory loss and everything, the mystery just seems to get bigger by the sentence. It just seems the chapter is crisscrossing the background events of the last couple chapters. Almost seems Noah is having some sort of vision where his body is one spot and his mind is in another. Multi-dimensional phase shift or something.
I thinking either force field or shock based on Noah's lack of movement in the beginning.
Here's a freaky thought:which one event is real? The scene with his family or the lab? You are pushing the limits of my imagination so far. I love it. In regards to the new element, it could some sort of dimensional ability, have the ability to touch other dimensions or timelines...Oh lord, I am having a headache snice this could bring alternate timelines into the realm of possibility.
With the voices and the darkness, I had an odd feeling of a lab rat in a maze or a glass room
Finally one word: Julius.
Interesting new review setup. Eliminates extra links. Streamllines everything.
4owlheroWell this was well worth the wait.
Using water almost as a connotation is a first in quite a while.
I was shocked and mystified with Jayden. Between the memory loss and everything, the mystery just seems to get bigger by the sentence. It just seems the chapter is crisscrossing the background events of the last couple chapters. Almost seems Noah is having some sort of vision where his body is one spot and his mind is in another. Multi-dimensional phase shift or something.
I thinking either force field or shock based on Noah's lack of movement in the beginning.
Here's a freaky thought:which one event is real? The scene with his family or the lab? You are pushing the limits of my imagination so far. I love it. In regards to the new element, it could some sort of dimensional ability, have the ability to touch other dimensions or timelines...Oh lord, I am having a headache snice this could bring alternate timelines into the realm of possibility.
With the voices and the darkness, I had an odd feeling of a lab rat in a maze or a glass room
Finally one word: Julius.
Interesting new review setup. Eliminates extra links. Streamllines everything.
6/26/2012 c4 10Wyntirsno
Wow, I didn't see that coming. Nephew huh. Interesting, that brings up so many questions that you won't answer, so I will just have to wait and see what? Why? Will it work? Is he really?
:P I can't wait to see more. I hope your writers block is clearing, this was great so I'm thinking yes?
10WyntirsnoWow, I didn't see that coming. Nephew huh. Interesting, that brings up so many questions that you won't answer, so I will just have to wait and see what? Why? Will it work? Is he really?
:P I can't wait to see more. I hope your writers block is clearing, this was great so I'm thinking yes?
6/26/2012 c3 Wyntirsno
Poor Noah, he is in bad shape. I hope that they can figure out what it is before he gets worse. Is this a premonition of whats to come? Are they all going to get sick, or is he sick because he dreamed whats coming and what ever it is is trying to keep the others from knowing?
Poor Noah, he is in bad shape. I hope that they can figure out what it is before he gets worse. Is this a premonition of whats to come? Are they all going to get sick, or is he sick because he dreamed whats coming and what ever it is is trying to keep the others from knowing?
5/3/2012 c3 4owlhero
The words put into Noah's confliction provided depth to the character, detailing their backgrounds.
The methodical questioning of everything that could happen, the good and the bad. Going down old pathways proves how wise he is at his young age. The world he lives in is so vast, he always wonders if something is coming.
Noah's mental isolation feeds into the atmosphere of the chapter driving me into wondering how deep into darkness and fear we may be going.
The description all the fall was vague but considering his condition absolutely correct.
Poor Noah, everything seems to be happening to him.
4owlheroThe words put into Noah's confliction provided depth to the character, detailing their backgrounds.
The methodical questioning of everything that could happen, the good and the bad. Going down old pathways proves how wise he is at his young age. The world he lives in is so vast, he always wonders if something is coming.
Noah's mental isolation feeds into the atmosphere of the chapter driving me into wondering how deep into darkness and fear we may be going.
The description all the fall was vague but considering his condition absolutely correct.
Poor Noah, everything seems to be happening to him.
3/22/2012 c2 owlhero
For some reason, I had a twisted humorous reaction at the scene at the beginning. maybe it was due to everybody's reactions. I mean the relationships between all of them are not normal. But then again neither are they.
Noah's limited view of the sitution was done right. You did not allow him to see anymore than what he knew, thought of or saw. At the same time you expanded upon him showing his fears. This includes the different type of relationship with Patrick compared to the Martin twins.
I can see this is some sort of experiment for you. But you used less obvious forms of foreshadowing.
Considering I have never heard of Natasha before, I will wonder what sort of character she is like.
Unique description of Noah's fainting spell. I wonder where you got the dark sun reflection from?
I have to wonder this is fake story direction or not? Oh well, I can wait.
For some reason, I had a twisted humorous reaction at the scene at the beginning. maybe it was due to everybody's reactions. I mean the relationships between all of them are not normal. But then again neither are they.
Noah's limited view of the sitution was done right. You did not allow him to see anymore than what he knew, thought of or saw. At the same time you expanded upon him showing his fears. This includes the different type of relationship with Patrick compared to the Martin twins.
I can see this is some sort of experiment for you. But you used less obvious forms of foreshadowing.
Considering I have never heard of Natasha before, I will wonder what sort of character she is like.
Unique description of Noah's fainting spell. I wonder where you got the dark sun reflection from?
I have to wonder this is fake story direction or not? Oh well, I can wait.
3/8/2012 c2 10Wyntirsno
Rhuben must have had a totally different dream, since Sydney's dream made him feel at fault like Noah's did. Poor Sydney is always having to be the adult in the family, even tho he is the youngest.
Getting good. I'm wondering about the dark reflection Noah is seeing. Was he drugged? What hit him in the leg?
Great chapter!
10WyntirsnoRhuben must have had a totally different dream, since Sydney's dream made him feel at fault like Noah's did. Poor Sydney is always having to be the adult in the family, even tho he is the youngest.
Getting good. I'm wondering about the dark reflection Noah is seeing. Was he drugged? What hit him in the leg?
Great chapter!
2/28/2012 c1 Wyntirsno
Wow, you scared me at the beginning. I was getting ready to yell at you for killing off people in the first few paragraphs of a story. :P What a horrible nightmare, but with all the fighting they have had to go thru I'm surprised they don't have more of them too.
So where is Patrick? Are they going to look for him? Its a bit scary to hear that your dream is going to come true and it will be your fault. I hope he can stop it somehow. Poor Noah.
You did your first person really well. Cant wait to see the rest of this.
Wow, you scared me at the beginning. I was getting ready to yell at you for killing off people in the first few paragraphs of a story. :P What a horrible nightmare, but with all the fighting they have had to go thru I'm surprised they don't have more of them too.
So where is Patrick? Are they going to look for him? Its a bit scary to hear that your dream is going to come true and it will be your fault. I hope he can stop it somehow. Poor Noah.
You did your first person really well. Cant wait to see the rest of this.
2/22/2012 c1 4owlhero
Very intriguing story so far.
Somewhat enigmatic for some readers, I am sure.
But using Noah in such a fashion is unheard of given the amount of stories written using the characters. That is not to say I hate it, i love it. I just have not seen it in quite a while. Maybe in some of Darkelements' earlier stories.
I can be pretty certain Noah was almost never used in first person except for very short few scenes in one of the earlier stories.
The way you describe the haunting, overwhelming darkness is spectular. The darkness choking Noah being the perfect example. I honestly felt the first part was real. Then again nightmares tend to be that way. And the way Mystic Melody is going, its going to be understandable why someone would nightmares like that.
I admit I always have felt the Jacksons to be closer to human beings (as much as fictional characters can be) when they are being affected or corrupted by their darker pasts whether it be the abuse they have suffered in some of the stories. Or the combat injuries suffered in battles or the loneliness inside them.
As for the story itself, the chapter just drips with mystery and tension.
I did laugh at Noah's observation and reaction of Sydney's quirks through. Its just not fair. He's doing PhD stuff when he's like fifteen, making me seem like I'm stupid. HaHa.
But you show them trying to live normally, which the best they can do after the previous circumstances.
The whipplashing between the emotions was done very well.
But now that the dream is connected to all of them, the creepiness has risen to new heights. I can not wait and see where this goes.
I never expected the chapter to end like that but it certainly has me hooked.
4owlheroVery intriguing story so far.
Somewhat enigmatic for some readers, I am sure.
But using Noah in such a fashion is unheard of given the amount of stories written using the characters. That is not to say I hate it, i love it. I just have not seen it in quite a while. Maybe in some of Darkelements' earlier stories.
I can be pretty certain Noah was almost never used in first person except for very short few scenes in one of the earlier stories.
The way you describe the haunting, overwhelming darkness is spectular. The darkness choking Noah being the perfect example. I honestly felt the first part was real. Then again nightmares tend to be that way. And the way Mystic Melody is going, its going to be understandable why someone would nightmares like that.
I admit I always have felt the Jacksons to be closer to human beings (as much as fictional characters can be) when they are being affected or corrupted by their darker pasts whether it be the abuse they have suffered in some of the stories. Or the combat injuries suffered in battles or the loneliness inside them.
As for the story itself, the chapter just drips with mystery and tension.
I did laugh at Noah's observation and reaction of Sydney's quirks through. Its just not fair. He's doing PhD stuff when he's like fifteen, making me seem like I'm stupid. HaHa.
But you show them trying to live normally, which the best they can do after the previous circumstances.
The whipplashing between the emotions was done very well.
But now that the dream is connected to all of them, the creepiness has risen to new heights. I can not wait and see where this goes.
I never expected the chapter to end like that but it certainly has me hooked.