for Metempsychosis9/30/2012 c7 
5ExposedWiresExposedVeins
Back for one chapter this time.
The fighting scene between Luna and Scrivener and the Velites was executed reasonably well. What I particularly like about the battles you write is that the "good guys" aren't peerless fighters, as they get their asses kicked sometimes (mostly with Scrivener, but still). Helps prevent Gary Stu/Mary Sue-ness some.
Also pretty interesting how a Velite is begging to join the two. It gives some insight of what caused innocents to "join" the group by force. Luna sure sounds welcoming, at least. Still, though, I got a few laughs from her asking Scrivener to eat him. Yay for a third wheel for the group of post-apocalypitc freaks.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
5ExposedWiresExposedVeinsBack for one chapter this time.
The fighting scene between Luna and Scrivener and the Velites was executed reasonably well. What I particularly like about the battles you write is that the "good guys" aren't peerless fighters, as they get their asses kicked sometimes (mostly with Scrivener, but still). Helps prevent Gary Stu/Mary Sue-ness some.
Also pretty interesting how a Velite is begging to join the two. It gives some insight of what caused innocents to "join" the group by force. Luna sure sounds welcoming, at least. Still, though, I got a few laughs from her asking Scrivener to eat him. Yay for a third wheel for the group of post-apocalypitc freaks.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
9/28/2012 c6 ExposedWiresExposedVeins
Reviewing three nights in a row; I'm on a roll right now.
The description of the ruins of Ponyville were great, and I like that you included how Luna and Scrivener are still not used to seeing what the little utopia turned into after all these years.
So, Luna got her husband to eat meat. Guess corruption's inevitable, as Scrivener settled with her and her darker self. And poor, poor Pinkamena. I also see why Luna called Scrivener the housewife some chapters ago with preparing food.
And now Scrivener has some odd, half-tyrant wyrm, half-pony form. Well, at least he can finally say he's bigger than Luna? Yeah.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
Reviewing three nights in a row; I'm on a roll right now.
The description of the ruins of Ponyville were great, and I like that you included how Luna and Scrivener are still not used to seeing what the little utopia turned into after all these years.
So, Luna got her husband to eat meat. Guess corruption's inevitable, as Scrivener settled with her and her darker self. And poor, poor Pinkamena. I also see why Luna called Scrivener the housewife some chapters ago with preparing food.
And now Scrivener has some odd, half-tyrant wyrm, half-pony form. Well, at least he can finally say he's bigger than Luna? Yeah.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
9/27/2012 c4 ExposedWiresExposedVeins
Forgot to mention this even though it has nothing to do with the story itself; I hate how this site changed, especially the way to review now. Wish it would've stayed the old way with reviewing in a separate window. This is why we can't have nice things.
Anyways, liked seeing the return of Discombobulation in a little bottle. And restoring his body in Ambrosia? Lovely, really lovely.
The dream/nightmare scene in the previous chapter was interesting, forgetting the romance and sweet stuff of course. I particularly like how Scrivener is still seeing effects from the tyrant wyrm years ago. Still writing Scrivener and Luna the way you did from the previous stories is... well, I'm not sure what I can say about it. It's awfully familiar, I'll give you that. Needy, passionate, immature, loyal.
Not much to say about this chapter, but I'm just leaving a review here so I know where to pick up where I left off previously. Good stuff.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
Forgot to mention this even though it has nothing to do with the story itself; I hate how this site changed, especially the way to review now. Wish it would've stayed the old way with reviewing in a separate window. This is why we can't have nice things.
Anyways, liked seeing the return of Discombobulation in a little bottle. And restoring his body in Ambrosia? Lovely, really lovely.
The dream/nightmare scene in the previous chapter was interesting, forgetting the romance and sweet stuff of course. I particularly like how Scrivener is still seeing effects from the tyrant wyrm years ago. Still writing Scrivener and Luna the way you did from the previous stories is... well, I'm not sure what I can say about it. It's awfully familiar, I'll give you that. Needy, passionate, immature, loyal.
Not much to say about this chapter, but I'm just leaving a review here so I know where to pick up where I left off previously. Good stuff.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
9/26/2012 c2 ExposedWiresExposedVeins
Been quite a while, huh, BlackRoseRaven? Like a couple of months? But yeah. Soon as I finished your previous tale, I've had my hands full. Hope I can get closer to catching up; seems like I've... well, a lot of reading to ahead of me.
Setting seemed a little strange to me at first, as it's all hell and the only ones who are truly alive there (from what I've seen so far) are just Luna and Scrivener. Still, though, I like the idea of pales just hanging out as they please. And Pinkamena. Just... Pinkamena.
Really liked how she criticized the relationship between the two. "Rod A and Slot B," acting like teenagers despite being together for several years now, etc. I found that all to be pretty funny. At least they're being responsible enough to not have a child in hell even if they're still unable to procreate. Yay.
As for the writing itself, it's good; that's nothing to be surprised at. What I'm trying to say is you're keeping consistent in your writing.
So far so good. I promise I won't take months in between reading and reviewing your works, or at least I certainly do not plan to.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
Been quite a while, huh, BlackRoseRaven? Like a couple of months? But yeah. Soon as I finished your previous tale, I've had my hands full. Hope I can get closer to catching up; seems like I've... well, a lot of reading to ahead of me.
Setting seemed a little strange to me at first, as it's all hell and the only ones who are truly alive there (from what I've seen so far) are just Luna and Scrivener. Still, though, I like the idea of pales just hanging out as they please. And Pinkamena. Just... Pinkamena.
Really liked how she criticized the relationship between the two. "Rod A and Slot B," acting like teenagers despite being together for several years now, etc. I found that all to be pretty funny. At least they're being responsible enough to not have a child in hell even if they're still unable to procreate. Yay.
As for the writing itself, it's good; that's nothing to be surprised at. What I'm trying to say is you're keeping consistent in your writing.
So far so good. I promise I won't take months in between reading and reviewing your works, or at least I certainly do not plan to.
- ExposedWiresExposedVeins
4/15/2012 c25 toku-loran
Ok Finally caught up after my two weeks without internet, and I just have to say one thing. Wow!
Great to see how well this turned out and good to know that Val is finally defeated and done with. He always claimed to be smart and quite the tactician _ but man did he make a really dumb mistake XD
After reading the epilogue, I really want to know what Slepnir was talking to them about. Would have been an incredibly funny read for sure.
Also do i smell a bit of a possible continuation on the storyline due to them still having one last card they can use? or i may have missed them using the other card _ lol.
Either way, great ending, hope to read more of your stories soon
Ok Finally caught up after my two weeks without internet, and I just have to say one thing. Wow!
Great to see how well this turned out and good to know that Val is finally defeated and done with. He always claimed to be smart and quite the tactician _ but man did he make a really dumb mistake XD
After reading the epilogue, I really want to know what Slepnir was talking to them about. Would have been an incredibly funny read for sure.
Also do i smell a bit of a possible continuation on the storyline due to them still having one last card they can use? or i may have missed them using the other card _ lol.
Either way, great ending, hope to read more of your stories soon
3/27/2012 c25 NeonEclipse
So good.
Another great story, please do write more.
Sorry I've been slacking on my reviews but with college and all I just don't have it in me sometimes.
Definitely one of the best stories I've ever read. Everything about it. The whole story. Maybe its just me being selfish, but I would still like to know what happens next. Really its just that good of a story.
5/5 for my personal rating, hands DOWN.
-NeonEclipse
So good.
Another great story, please do write more.
Sorry I've been slacking on my reviews but with college and all I just don't have it in me sometimes.
Definitely one of the best stories I've ever read. Everything about it. The whole story. Maybe its just me being selfish, but I would still like to know what happens next. Really its just that good of a story.
5/5 for my personal rating, hands DOWN.
-NeonEclipse
3/27/2012 c25 10calmfacade
wow dude yet another entry into my personal favorites (on this site at least). Gotta say Deus Ex Machina ending was kind of cliche but it was kind of worth it when valthrudnir got eaten... that made me unreasonably happy for some reason... And i got to say, i am deeply ashamed of you my good sir, the world is called "the looking glass world" and i didn't find one alice in wonderland reference.
Anyways~ so peace is restored and everybody is alive yay! Sadly i need some new authors to stalk now, oh well i guess i have FIMfictiona nd EQd for that right?
10calmfacadewow dude yet another entry into my personal favorites (on this site at least). Gotta say Deus Ex Machina ending was kind of cliche but it was kind of worth it when valthrudnir got eaten... that made me unreasonably happy for some reason... And i got to say, i am deeply ashamed of you my good sir, the world is called "the looking glass world" and i didn't find one alice in wonderland reference.
Anyways~ so peace is restored and everybody is alive yay! Sadly i need some new authors to stalk now, oh well i guess i have FIMfictiona nd EQd for that right?
3/27/2012 c25 2ezy goin
As always, a truly amazing piece of work. Though now a question is raised in my mind... what about the last of the three cards?
2ezy goinAs always, a truly amazing piece of work. Though now a question is raised in my mind... what about the last of the three cards?
3/24/2012 c21 10calmfacade
ya know Odin has calmy admitted to them that Valthrudnir (yay i finally learned his name) destroyed the Aesir using Odins pride more or less against him...
You'd think that knowing this Luna and Scrivy might come to the same concluson i have, maybe he knows they won't go to Odin for help, maybe he's banking on this happening and they don't get rid of him. Or, and this is quite a scary though, he chose to appear right then and there so Odin would realize whats happening and kill Scrivy to get rid of Valthrudnir once and for all. Either way i don't want to EVER play this mofo in chess. Not that im even very good at that game.
10calmfacadeya know Odin has calmy admitted to them that Valthrudnir (yay i finally learned his name) destroyed the Aesir using Odins pride more or less against him...
You'd think that knowing this Luna and Scrivy might come to the same concluson i have, maybe he knows they won't go to Odin for help, maybe he's banking on this happening and they don't get rid of him. Or, and this is quite a scary though, he chose to appear right then and there so Odin would realize whats happening and kill Scrivy to get rid of Valthrudnir once and for all. Either way i don't want to EVER play this mofo in chess. Not that im even very good at that game.
3/19/2012 c16 calmfacade
ok! So there in looking glass world, sadly nary a card soldier nor a talking rabbit have been found yet. I don't really remember all of dragon dudes prophecy, but i remember the one about judge (who better then Odin when they tell him about the echo of dragon dude). And you mentioned in the epilogue of the last in this series that the wolves were encased in stone in Looking glass world. So we have two major things to resolve, three if you count the ressurection thing but the epilogue of the last story spoiled how that turns out.
Also, Zebras are OG poets.
ok! So there in looking glass world, sadly nary a card soldier nor a talking rabbit have been found yet. I don't really remember all of dragon dudes prophecy, but i remember the one about judge (who better then Odin when they tell him about the echo of dragon dude). And you mentioned in the epilogue of the last in this series that the wolves were encased in stone in Looking glass world. So we have two major things to resolve, three if you count the ressurection thing but the epilogue of the last story spoiled how that turns out.
Also, Zebras are OG poets.
3/17/2012 c14 calmfacade
before i review i want to point something out, during the fight you put sleipnir's name instead of fenrir's.
So we come towards the climax, there leading a merry band of ghosts down the yellow bbrick road of death, the black wolves are digging out their leader, and valth- whatever his name isn't anywhere to be found but most likely has a plan going on here.
Silly luna, the answer is always silver bullets!
before i review i want to point something out, during the fight you put sleipnir's name instead of fenrir's.
So we come towards the climax, there leading a merry band of ghosts down the yellow bbrick road of death, the black wolves are digging out their leader, and valth- whatever his name isn't anywhere to be found but most likely has a plan going on here.
Silly luna, the answer is always silver bullets!
3/16/2012 c11 NeonEclipse
man I kinda feel bad for Wisehorse, but then again he is deserving of his fate. As Luna put it, to suffer in the world he had created.
I wonder is we'll meet scrivy's father or mother? I also wonder if Sol Seraph will be showing up later? Thought I remembered her being mentioned in an earlier chapter. Oh well, Great chapter none the less and also Thanks a bunch for the fast updates :) I wish I could say the same to some other fanfiction writers. lol.
man I kinda feel bad for Wisehorse, but then again he is deserving of his fate. As Luna put it, to suffer in the world he had created.
I wonder is we'll meet scrivy's father or mother? I also wonder if Sol Seraph will be showing up later? Thought I remembered her being mentioned in an earlier chapter. Oh well, Great chapter none the less and also Thanks a bunch for the fast updates :) I wish I could say the same to some other fanfiction writers. lol.