for vindicated5/19/2012 c3 
5The-Alizarin-Possum534
I like where this is going. There are nly two things you need to improve on. One is the characters' personalities. You've unknowningly changed them. Tsume and Kiba should both be more silent. The other is the grammar. Althoug you've improved heaps in chapter 3, there are still some things to tweak.
Im excited! :D
5The-Alizarin-Possum534I like where this is going. There are nly two things you need to improve on. One is the characters' personalities. You've unknowningly changed them. Tsume and Kiba should both be more silent. The other is the grammar. Althoug you've improved heaps in chapter 3, there are still some things to tweak.
Im excited! :D
5/10/2012 c2 Anonymous Mousse
Umm, how about paragraphs? You know, ones to separate dialogue? Oooo! How about punctuation? Or spelling? Capital letters? Yes, that would be nice. I love correct spelling...:)
Umm, how about paragraphs? You know, ones to separate dialogue? Oooo! How about punctuation? Or spelling? Capital letters? Yes, that would be nice. I love correct spelling...:)