for The Knife Thrower's Daughter6/17 c16 Guest
I'm not really one for lengthy reviews and I'm not sure what to say here, but you should know this was really amazing. I can't wait to see how you close out this story.
I'm not really one for lengthy reviews and I'm not sure what to say here, but you should know this was really amazing. I can't wait to see how you close out this story.
6/15 c16 berlin
awesome, intense, heart-breaking!
awesome, intense, heart-breaking!
6/17 c14 ricetxpeaches
Hi there! This is an awesome story, and I generally enjoy your writing. There's one thing I've noticed, though, in the last one or two chapters. You seem to be going to great lengths to differentiate the speech patterns of Black vs. non-Black characters, and it's really starting to bother me. This is my 2nd attempt at reading chapter 14, and I keep stopping after the kitchen girl's speech. You may be trying to be authentic to the time, but remember that language patterns aren't racialized; they are social constructions. That's why people who are around each other all of the time, speak similarly. The use of some of these stereotypical speech patterns for Black people during the 1800s and turn of the century may be your attempt to paint an authentic picture of the time. But it fails to take into account the racism that permeated the media and turned Blacks into caricatures. Given that the circus folk have lived together and worked side-by-side for most, if not all, of their lives, they should really sound alike. That means that if Ma Jones sounds "unintelligent," then Sam Evans should sound "unintelligent" too. Happy writing, and I hope you take my words to heart!
Hi there! This is an awesome story, and I generally enjoy your writing. There's one thing I've noticed, though, in the last one or two chapters. You seem to be going to great lengths to differentiate the speech patterns of Black vs. non-Black characters, and it's really starting to bother me. This is my 2nd attempt at reading chapter 14, and I keep stopping after the kitchen girl's speech. You may be trying to be authentic to the time, but remember that language patterns aren't racialized; they are social constructions. That's why people who are around each other all of the time, speak similarly. The use of some of these stereotypical speech patterns for Black people during the 1800s and turn of the century may be your attempt to paint an authentic picture of the time. But it fails to take into account the racism that permeated the media and turned Blacks into caricatures. Given that the circus folk have lived together and worked side-by-side for most, if not all, of their lives, they should really sound alike. That means that if Ma Jones sounds "unintelligent," then Sam Evans should sound "unintelligent" too. Happy writing, and I hope you take my words to heart!
6/15 c16 
1Tygerlily44
Oh ** oh **! You wouldn't! How could you do that!? First the circus being torn apart, and now this! The show itself has already broken my heart and theirs. Don't do it here, too! I'm begging here.
1Tygerlily44Oh ** oh **! You wouldn't! How could you do that!? First the circus being torn apart, and now this! The show itself has already broken my heart and theirs. Don't do it here, too! I'm begging here.
6/14 c16 SlightlyOddGirl
Please, PLEASE don't kill either of them, I'm so scared right now :(
This is my favorite fanfic, hands down. I can't wait for the next two chapters so I can read it all over again from start to finish.
- Skye
Please, PLEASE don't kill either of them, I'm so scared right now :(
This is my favorite fanfic, hands down. I can't wait for the next two chapters so I can read it all over again from start to finish.
- Skye
6/14 c16 newtype603
Oh my god... I can't believe this story will be ending soon. I don't want it too end! lol This chapter was by far the most action packed yet. It was an absolute roller coaster ride and how you managed to tie everything together was wonderful. I really liked the scene where Rachel, Sam and the Changs all get together. My only real complaint is the pacing when Santana found Brittany in the Pierce tent. It was just a hair bit too slow. Considering how frantic Santana was just prior to the scene, it was a little unrealistic... though very romantic :P I'm so excited for the next chapter. I'm hoping their love triumphs over Santana's death curse!
Oh my god... I can't believe this story will be ending soon. I don't want it too end! lol This chapter was by far the most action packed yet. It was an absolute roller coaster ride and how you managed to tie everything together was wonderful. I really liked the scene where Rachel, Sam and the Changs all get together. My only real complaint is the pacing when Santana found Brittany in the Pierce tent. It was just a hair bit too slow. Considering how frantic Santana was just prior to the scene, it was a little unrealistic... though very romantic :P I'm so excited for the next chapter. I'm hoping their love triumphs over Santana's death curse!
6/12 c16 inarticulation
Your pacing for the whole fic has so far been slower than most, in the sense that you spend a lot of effort detailing the smallest events, almost rigorously. That works when Santana sees symbolism and meaning in everything, and when the plot development is slow too. In fact, they complement each other. Santana would not give such a cautious impression to readers if she sounded like she'd bluster through anything and everything. I also like how you repeat the things she think and the things that other people tell her, the way such things run through our minds on repeat when they mean a lot to us.
However, for the scene where she is in a rush to get to Brittany and escape camp, this pacing becomes too slow. When a person is in a rush and on the edge of panic, they do not think or see too much. They get tunnel vision. And everything seems to go by at lightspeed even if that may not be true. So when the pace of narration remains the same while the sequence of events compresses, they no longer match. So my point is, maybe you can try to vary the pacing depending on the scene? Just a suggestion. Cheers :)
Your pacing for the whole fic has so far been slower than most, in the sense that you spend a lot of effort detailing the smallest events, almost rigorously. That works when Santana sees symbolism and meaning in everything, and when the plot development is slow too. In fact, they complement each other. Santana would not give such a cautious impression to readers if she sounded like she'd bluster through anything and everything. I also like how you repeat the things she think and the things that other people tell her, the way such things run through our minds on repeat when they mean a lot to us.
However, for the scene where she is in a rush to get to Brittany and escape camp, this pacing becomes too slow. When a person is in a rush and on the edge of panic, they do not think or see too much. They get tunnel vision. And everything seems to go by at lightspeed even if that may not be true. So when the pace of narration remains the same while the sequence of events compresses, they no longer match. So my point is, maybe you can try to vary the pacing depending on the scene? Just a suggestion. Cheers :)
6/12 c16 Guest
God, this story affects me so much. I am truly heartbroken by this chapter, which is a testament to your writing. You are amazing and I hope to read your stories forever.
God, this story affects me so much. I am truly heartbroken by this chapter, which is a testament to your writing. You are amazing and I hope to read your stories forever.
6/11 c16 4Kaede Shinomori
Oh my beating heart!
No puedo, no puedo soportalo!
Great job, as usual!
Time to get Abuela's praying beads and start praying!
4Kaede ShinomoriOh my beating heart!
No puedo, no puedo soportalo!
Great job, as usual!
Time to get Abuela's praying beads and start praying!
6/10 c16 Guest
Woah! Amazing action packed and dramatic penultimate chapter! I dont want it to end! Wheres Quinn and wheres Puck going to go!? Great writing, thank you for this amazing fiction!
Woah! Amazing action packed and dramatic penultimate chapter! I dont want it to end! Wheres Quinn and wheres Puck going to go!? Great writing, thank you for this amazing fiction!
6/11 c16 3FairytaleOfNewDork
I think during the last half of the chapter I stopped breathing for too long.. I'm so looking forward to discovering the end, but I'm not gonna lie: I'm totally fearful as well. Like legitimately scared and don't know if I want to read it or if I want to exist in my own fairytale of Brittana.. D:
This is actually my favourite Brittana fanfiction so far (and I've read a lot of them!) I actually started reading whilst on holiday in Scotland almost /exactly/ a year ago when it had quite a few chapters to its title. Now it's approaching its end (perhaps I should save the last chapter for when I return to Scotland later this June- the exact same place I found it- so that it comes full circle) I'm both happy and sad. I myself have changed alot since I first started reading so this story takes up a great deal of space in my heart as I've followed its progress. It's been beautiful to read and I eagerly await it's end, no matter what the outcome! You deserve a huge cake for such beautiful and inspiring writing! :D
3FairytaleOfNewDorkI think during the last half of the chapter I stopped breathing for too long.. I'm so looking forward to discovering the end, but I'm not gonna lie: I'm totally fearful as well. Like legitimately scared and don't know if I want to read it or if I want to exist in my own fairytale of Brittana.. D:
This is actually my favourite Brittana fanfiction so far (and I've read a lot of them!) I actually started reading whilst on holiday in Scotland almost /exactly/ a year ago when it had quite a few chapters to its title. Now it's approaching its end (perhaps I should save the last chapter for when I return to Scotland later this June- the exact same place I found it- so that it comes full circle) I'm both happy and sad. I myself have changed alot since I first started reading so this story takes up a great deal of space in my heart as I've followed its progress. It's been beautiful to read and I eagerly await it's end, no matter what the outcome! You deserve a huge cake for such beautiful and inspiring writing! :D