for Tonights Girlfriend5/24 c31 
1Jenifer Cullen
Hey, Your story was awesome. A little grammar mistakes here and there, but other than that it is beautiful. I hope the outtake has the conversation between Alice and Jasper. If not, please add that too. Readers always like to know it in the writer's point of view. They hate it if it is left up to our imagination. Hope you make an outtake for that too.
Thx
1Jenifer CullenHey, Your story was awesome. A little grammar mistakes here and there, but other than that it is beautiful. I hope the outtake has the conversation between Alice and Jasper. If not, please add that too. Readers always like to know it in the writer's point of view. They hate it if it is left up to our imagination. Hope you make an outtake for that too.
Thx
4/19 c31 kavelf
I just realized that I left my longer review on chapter 1 instead of the last chapter. I did read to the end of your story. Thanks again. I really enjoyed your tale.
I just realized that I left my longer review on chapter 1 instead of the last chapter. I did read to the end of your story. Thanks again. I really enjoyed your tale.
4/19 c1 kavelf
I've really enjoyed your story. I mean the following with the kindest of intentions. Your story has so much potential. Do you have a beta? It feels like have a couple of people to toss your ideas around and proof your writing would be very helpful. There were little things that didn't quite flow properly in terms of tine line. Then there were threads that could have been developed further or story lines that could have been clearer. There were also
moments where the wrong words were being used. But the skeletal structure of the story
was wonderful. I really wanted to read
through to the end to see how things were
resolved. I say bravo on plot and if you have the energy, find a couple of good friends to help you with the rest. There is so much potential here.
Thanks for the words. :)
I've really enjoyed your story. I mean the following with the kindest of intentions. Your story has so much potential. Do you have a beta? It feels like have a couple of people to toss your ideas around and proof your writing would be very helpful. There were little things that didn't quite flow properly in terms of tine line. Then there were threads that could have been developed further or story lines that could have been clearer. There were also
moments where the wrong words were being used. But the skeletal structure of the story
was wonderful. I really wanted to read
through to the end to see how things were
resolved. I say bravo on plot and if you have the energy, find a couple of good friends to help you with the rest. There is so much potential here.
Thanks for the words. :)
12/28/2012 c30 NabStew
Just finished reading it Charlie! and loved it! I would want it to be longer, but it's ok, I really liked B&E relationship :3 ly
Just finished reading it Charlie! and loved it! I would want it to be longer, but it's ok, I really liked B&E relationship :3 ly