for Alho and Yupa in New York City8/12/2012 c14 
5Megadracosaurus
Your a briljant author! Your cross-over stories are awesome! Can I help you with ideas for new cross-overs?
5MegadracosaurusYour a briljant author! Your cross-over stories are awesome! Can I help you with ideas for new cross-overs?
7/7/2012 c14 163Detective88
Hey, Emmy. Thanks for the review. I'm going to see Madagascar 3 tomorrow, but sorry for missing the accents. Thanks for the tip. I'll be sure to add that to the next chapter. Thanks for liking my story so far. :)
163Detective88Hey, Emmy. Thanks for the review. I'm going to see Madagascar 3 tomorrow, but sorry for missing the accents. Thanks for the tip. I'll be sure to add that to the next chapter. Thanks for liking my story so far. :)
6/20/2012 c13 22ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
Ok Om MY GOSH WOW!
Hey sorry girl I haven't been review, last week was hectic, I had a test tuesday called and Accuplacer just because my new college is so stupid I already took English 101 twice pasing as one of the best students in the class the second time, and same wiht math without having the second time.. Also took the Compass test at my old school... Now turns out I had to do it all over again because they just don't like the grad of C, B or B even in some classes and frankly I think that's stupid... BUt hey who am I to judge a school.. So I took it, had a hard night of sleep was super tired when I went to take it hardly studied with the only books we could find even online, and I hadn't taken my focus pills for the mornign... Surprisingly that went well.. I thought I would flunkt he math prosion but to my surprie I got a 115 out of 120 which is rare I guess, and was one point off of one of the English tests... So I choose to take it again this Tuesday... Then I had work, which was a busy schedual clsoing from 6-1 Am most nights, meaning a late night since I always drink Extra BOld late's during my breaks when I eat (it's like the only time in a day I actualy get myself to eat I skip out on meals on accident... giggling don't blame the person I just can be flaky on eating sometimes, surprisingly I don't get to hungry when I do... funny)
SO I kinda had a busy week I always wanted to review, but I'd get to my computer then crash and burn. ONly time I didn't was early last week when I finished up a picture that will be the cover of a new story I have coming up... But that was again before I crashed from Exhaustion.. I finally had a few days break...
Which brings me to the funny part.. You know I went to review earlier at twelve something and suddenly my internet stoped working so I spent thirty minutes trying to keep myself intertained while I was awake enough to review, and wait to review... THen It came back I was about to review when I saw in emails I got a new review and you updated your story again.. NOW HOW EXCITING WAS THAT ;) I was jumping for joy (figmitivly, cause I'm in my pj's in my bed with Casper 1995 playing on my tv, while I stay up late) But I am in spirit ;) that's gotta count for somethign.
Well so now I'll start off...
From the begining..
CHAPTER 8 MOdern Mess:
I can tell you one thing after you posted this at work I read it over and over again I could not help loving it... I was so so surprised yet excited to know what would happen next, I love how you described each character channging and their loves suddenly running away :) it was awesome. I was so thankful for this chapter
Chapter Nine: Shen and Tai Lung's Attack:
OOooooo now this I was looking foward to. I loved how the characters interacted together complaing or sharing their fears for what happened. Especially Tex and Peter ;) Lol loved Peter's reaction "I was dating a snake... And I Hate Snakes!" LOL classic ;)
Well I'd be lying if I didn't say that I also loved Arizona and Kimberly's attempt to flee.. My absolute favorite because i literally was chearing the character on was May's reaction to it all.. I loved the symbolicness of the roses to the carnations, that was lovely and truelly original it was poetic words to itself. GREAT JOB GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK FOR THAT ONE :) ;)
I absolutly loved everythign about this chapter and what made it incredible.
Now Chapter 10: Shen and Tai Lung vrs. Al-ho and Yu-pa, now this chapter I was excited about. The fight scene was totally epic. I would have to say your best yet, for the suspence it invovled in all.
Your definitly got edge in this chapter, and a great thriller to boot you had definite action in this chapter and epicness... :)
I really adored and loved how the furious five and dragon warrior saved their loves...
OH QUICK NOTE:
Ok so I think it sounds like we're nearing the end, well I really hope the loves decided to return with their loves to their world.. THough one thing I think Tex or Peter should ask at one point.
"Yeah well we're really the furious Five and I'm the legendary Dragon Warrior from a world much like your own, only different time frame, and the people well are like us if you know what I mean" He blushes scratching his back while May holds him close "I don't care I want nothing but you... I love you Po"
He smiles, only neihter notice the curious looks both Tex and Peter were giving them "Wait the Furious whobe whaties" (got the line from the Grinch you know live action film)
"Whoa.. whoa whoa.. Hold up... Are you saying that your not only a panda but a big huge flying fire breathign dragon?"
"Uh" everyone looks to him as if he were an idiot while but Dylan and SOphie burst out laughing 'yeah that would be the day Po a dragon. Now what they would give to see that day... Even though it was imposible."
"No what do you think I am some shapeshifter.. I'm only a panda... it's just a title I recieved for I am the one to fill the roll of our oldest legend and prove it right."
"Yeah whatever, that's a silly name fare and square" he laughs though he recieves a glare from the girls "But that's not saying I couldn't get used to it... vagly" he muttered as they turned around.
(JUst a thought it would be funny to mention the term and one of the boys or both Tex and Peter freaking out thinking he's a dragon too maybe one groans "Oh great we are so dead now someone pinch me awake to make sure I'm not just dreaming this all" probably a good like for Peter)
ANYWAYS BACK TO THE REVIEW
Yeah I thought that was so awesome... I'd like to see what happens next real soon.. I noticed you ended Chapter 11 with them returning to the hotel exhausted, I just hope they did not forget that they told their loves to wait in the van... I really can't wait for the chat they all may have soon in the chapter that follows..
I HAVE TO SAY, I DID NOT SEE THE GUN SCENE HAPPENIGN. I never expected it, I never expected for Al-ho and Yu-pa to die, well nearly get to death then be saved. I mean oh my gosh that was unpredictable, but incredible I was so shocked and amazed my eye's opened wide upon reading that... I also was surprised when they turned against both Shen and Tai Lung... I mean that was not expected, I wished that Dylan and Sophie did a little more,a nd was confused when they suddenly vanished I did not know what to expect it was so exciting I was hoping you'd update soon I just didn't have time between work and studying to review by the time this one came up... (Must I say I'm glade everyone turned up later I have to say the coming out of the dark was so visual and eye catching in the next chapter it was dark and incredible I loved it :)
NOW FINALLY WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE LATEST CHAPTER
Chapter 11: A Rescue and a Magical Return:
I was so impressed by this chapter, I loved the whole scene with the cages they were in, noticing people were watching them, the idea that Emily and Martha were such wicked people they woudl even skin the animals.
I was half confused on her agressions towards Al-ho and Yu-pa's parents, though I'm sure it was something we discussed or was stated before I just can't member.
May I say how much I laughed when Pucca bassicly said (and I'm paraphrasing) 'tisk tisk" to Martha and Emily... Man that was clasisc, it half reminded me of one of my best friends and myself and how we used to say that all the time in making fun of eachother for doing something weird or not nesisarly bad but something we'd make fun of eachother like it was... Huh good times, good times :).
WelL i realy enjoyed this chapter, I wanted to scream "Yes" when Emily and Martha were turned to rats, I half wanted them to be turned to that or something... I even had in my head the idea of those screams teh witches in Hocus Pocus at the end when they all die they scream I kinda had hte idea of those screams being done by them as they were being turned kinda like the so famous all together famous "Auhh I'm melting I'm melting" line
WOw I was so impressed by the chapter, its darkness and amazingness was so incredible.. I don't know what Ideas I have for upcoming but each chapter you've lead to amaze me and each chapter was all the more amazing... I hope you update with more really soon... I honestly can't wait till the end... Till next time this Is Annie CGSHHF, Blurr GIrl saying outie and have one amazing wonderful day... Also thanks so much.. Bye :) I can't wait to read more.. and I promise to review as soon as it comes out... OH and I'm glade you like my Planet 51 story, I am revising it, I realized the first chapter I had changed the times to the story in the entire story but the first when I posted it, seeing my character I realized was suposed to be just out of the college age, and going into her adult hood I felt silly and contemplated for months in what I should do, if I really wanted to make her so young or not, but in the end I realized her relationship with Nepal needed more then a three year drift apart, and it was not as clear on how a boy that is later said to be in the grade below her but her age managed to get a pretty good job after college which he excelled early in and was workign wiht what he was for them to meet. But I'm not changing the intial year in the first by much she's at most twenty four in my story, if I recal right and by the end should be no more the twnety seven or six, so she stays around the genral same age.
Thank you for enjoying it, I hope you stick around for it... THOUGH I may warn that their is a mature theme coming up, it's only what I warned about in the previous chapters, after that it should be pretty good for most of the story wiht no majurity of the sorts I was goign.
Thanks again, and as always Blurr GIrl OUtie :) Peace (sorry I felt like saying that haven't said it in forever... LOL.. Ok I'll stop with the jokes for now I'm obviously tired at 2:13 at night or in the early morning... Have a good mornign and thank
22ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFuryOk Om MY GOSH WOW!
Hey sorry girl I haven't been review, last week was hectic, I had a test tuesday called and Accuplacer just because my new college is so stupid I already took English 101 twice pasing as one of the best students in the class the second time, and same wiht math without having the second time.. Also took the Compass test at my old school... Now turns out I had to do it all over again because they just don't like the grad of C, B or B even in some classes and frankly I think that's stupid... BUt hey who am I to judge a school.. So I took it, had a hard night of sleep was super tired when I went to take it hardly studied with the only books we could find even online, and I hadn't taken my focus pills for the mornign... Surprisingly that went well.. I thought I would flunkt he math prosion but to my surprie I got a 115 out of 120 which is rare I guess, and was one point off of one of the English tests... So I choose to take it again this Tuesday... Then I had work, which was a busy schedual clsoing from 6-1 Am most nights, meaning a late night since I always drink Extra BOld late's during my breaks when I eat (it's like the only time in a day I actualy get myself to eat I skip out on meals on accident... giggling don't blame the person I just can be flaky on eating sometimes, surprisingly I don't get to hungry when I do... funny)
SO I kinda had a busy week I always wanted to review, but I'd get to my computer then crash and burn. ONly time I didn't was early last week when I finished up a picture that will be the cover of a new story I have coming up... But that was again before I crashed from Exhaustion.. I finally had a few days break...
Which brings me to the funny part.. You know I went to review earlier at twelve something and suddenly my internet stoped working so I spent thirty minutes trying to keep myself intertained while I was awake enough to review, and wait to review... THen It came back I was about to review when I saw in emails I got a new review and you updated your story again.. NOW HOW EXCITING WAS THAT ;) I was jumping for joy (figmitivly, cause I'm in my pj's in my bed with Casper 1995 playing on my tv, while I stay up late) But I am in spirit ;) that's gotta count for somethign.
Well so now I'll start off...
From the begining..
CHAPTER 8 MOdern Mess:
I can tell you one thing after you posted this at work I read it over and over again I could not help loving it... I was so so surprised yet excited to know what would happen next, I love how you described each character channging and their loves suddenly running away :) it was awesome. I was so thankful for this chapter
Chapter Nine: Shen and Tai Lung's Attack:
OOooooo now this I was looking foward to. I loved how the characters interacted together complaing or sharing their fears for what happened. Especially Tex and Peter ;) Lol loved Peter's reaction "I was dating a snake... And I Hate Snakes!" LOL classic ;)
Well I'd be lying if I didn't say that I also loved Arizona and Kimberly's attempt to flee.. My absolute favorite because i literally was chearing the character on was May's reaction to it all.. I loved the symbolicness of the roses to the carnations, that was lovely and truelly original it was poetic words to itself. GREAT JOB GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK FOR THAT ONE :) ;)
I absolutly loved everythign about this chapter and what made it incredible.
Now Chapter 10: Shen and Tai Lung vrs. Al-ho and Yu-pa, now this chapter I was excited about. The fight scene was totally epic. I would have to say your best yet, for the suspence it invovled in all.
Your definitly got edge in this chapter, and a great thriller to boot you had definite action in this chapter and epicness... :)
I really adored and loved how the furious five and dragon warrior saved their loves...
OH QUICK NOTE:
Ok so I think it sounds like we're nearing the end, well I really hope the loves decided to return with their loves to their world.. THough one thing I think Tex or Peter should ask at one point.
"Yeah well we're really the furious Five and I'm the legendary Dragon Warrior from a world much like your own, only different time frame, and the people well are like us if you know what I mean" He blushes scratching his back while May holds him close "I don't care I want nothing but you... I love you Po"
He smiles, only neihter notice the curious looks both Tex and Peter were giving them "Wait the Furious whobe whaties" (got the line from the Grinch you know live action film)
"Whoa.. whoa whoa.. Hold up... Are you saying that your not only a panda but a big huge flying fire breathign dragon?"
"Uh" everyone looks to him as if he were an idiot while but Dylan and SOphie burst out laughing 'yeah that would be the day Po a dragon. Now what they would give to see that day... Even though it was imposible."
"No what do you think I am some shapeshifter.. I'm only a panda... it's just a title I recieved for I am the one to fill the roll of our oldest legend and prove it right."
"Yeah whatever, that's a silly name fare and square" he laughs though he recieves a glare from the girls "But that's not saying I couldn't get used to it... vagly" he muttered as they turned around.
(JUst a thought it would be funny to mention the term and one of the boys or both Tex and Peter freaking out thinking he's a dragon too maybe one groans "Oh great we are so dead now someone pinch me awake to make sure I'm not just dreaming this all" probably a good like for Peter)
ANYWAYS BACK TO THE REVIEW
Yeah I thought that was so awesome... I'd like to see what happens next real soon.. I noticed you ended Chapter 11 with them returning to the hotel exhausted, I just hope they did not forget that they told their loves to wait in the van... I really can't wait for the chat they all may have soon in the chapter that follows..
I HAVE TO SAY, I DID NOT SEE THE GUN SCENE HAPPENIGN. I never expected it, I never expected for Al-ho and Yu-pa to die, well nearly get to death then be saved. I mean oh my gosh that was unpredictable, but incredible I was so shocked and amazed my eye's opened wide upon reading that... I also was surprised when they turned against both Shen and Tai Lung... I mean that was not expected, I wished that Dylan and Sophie did a little more,a nd was confused when they suddenly vanished I did not know what to expect it was so exciting I was hoping you'd update soon I just didn't have time between work and studying to review by the time this one came up... (Must I say I'm glade everyone turned up later I have to say the coming out of the dark was so visual and eye catching in the next chapter it was dark and incredible I loved it :)
NOW FINALLY WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE LATEST CHAPTER
Chapter 11: A Rescue and a Magical Return:
I was so impressed by this chapter, I loved the whole scene with the cages they were in, noticing people were watching them, the idea that Emily and Martha were such wicked people they woudl even skin the animals.
I was half confused on her agressions towards Al-ho and Yu-pa's parents, though I'm sure it was something we discussed or was stated before I just can't member.
May I say how much I laughed when Pucca bassicly said (and I'm paraphrasing) 'tisk tisk" to Martha and Emily... Man that was clasisc, it half reminded me of one of my best friends and myself and how we used to say that all the time in making fun of eachother for doing something weird or not nesisarly bad but something we'd make fun of eachother like it was... Huh good times, good times :).
WelL i realy enjoyed this chapter, I wanted to scream "Yes" when Emily and Martha were turned to rats, I half wanted them to be turned to that or something... I even had in my head the idea of those screams teh witches in Hocus Pocus at the end when they all die they scream I kinda had hte idea of those screams being done by them as they were being turned kinda like the so famous all together famous "Auhh I'm melting I'm melting" line
WOw I was so impressed by the chapter, its darkness and amazingness was so incredible.. I don't know what Ideas I have for upcoming but each chapter you've lead to amaze me and each chapter was all the more amazing... I hope you update with more really soon... I honestly can't wait till the end... Till next time this Is Annie CGSHHF, Blurr GIrl saying outie and have one amazing wonderful day... Also thanks so much.. Bye :) I can't wait to read more.. and I promise to review as soon as it comes out... OH and I'm glade you like my Planet 51 story, I am revising it, I realized the first chapter I had changed the times to the story in the entire story but the first when I posted it, seeing my character I realized was suposed to be just out of the college age, and going into her adult hood I felt silly and contemplated for months in what I should do, if I really wanted to make her so young or not, but in the end I realized her relationship with Nepal needed more then a three year drift apart, and it was not as clear on how a boy that is later said to be in the grade below her but her age managed to get a pretty good job after college which he excelled early in and was workign wiht what he was for them to meet. But I'm not changing the intial year in the first by much she's at most twenty four in my story, if I recal right and by the end should be no more the twnety seven or six, so she stays around the genral same age.
Thank you for enjoying it, I hope you stick around for it... THOUGH I may warn that their is a mature theme coming up, it's only what I warned about in the previous chapters, after that it should be pretty good for most of the story wiht no majurity of the sorts I was goign.
Thanks again, and as always Blurr GIrl OUtie :) Peace (sorry I felt like saying that haven't said it in forever... LOL.. Ok I'll stop with the jokes for now I'm obviously tired at 2:13 at night or in the early morning... Have a good mornign and thank
6/3/2012 c6 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
FOR CHAPTER 9 (TECHNICLY 8)
Ugh... I'm so killing my computer this summer... Sorry that review was not supposed to be sent like that I was making a short comment before reading again... GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I hate my computer right now... I want to toss it out my two story window just to see what happens it made me so made by sending that review when I didn't hit send yet... Grr
Sorry about that... Oh I just wanted to let you know you have Private Reviews off so I couldn't log out and review on that chapter... Just thought I'd give ya a heads up...
ANYWAYS Back to what I was saying... Since Obviously teh review was supposed to go first.. Huh... I'm having to make due and now say what I was saying... Uh well you get the picture everythings upside down now...
BACK TO THE IDEA:
Hava is on the bus dressed in a skirt and a blous off of her cases (maybe a free agent of sorts) She is insisting her sister should file a restraining order against her boyfriend, when suddenly the bus is attacked, maybe Sarah is used as a hostage, when Croc and Ox stand up, in the human forms and attack.
That or after Ox and Sarah blush at eachother, him hearing the sister trying to talk while she's leading teh tour guide, till they are engulfed by the croud in Grande Central Station.
Dylan waves his hand infront of the tall Ox, whose somewhat tan, he's bald but very musclar, everywhere they go a girl is swooning over his very handsome appearance almost being like Dwane the Rock Johnson, in looks. He didn't catch how the girl who accidently knocked into him blushed nad was gone made him stared and blush all the same, he could not even notice hte hand being waved infront of him.
But he soon returned to his group (Croc he is I think a golden blonde or red head, who's kinda short, and skiny wiht wheres more yellow board shorts and a green baseball sports jersey with green or tan Vans)
But both men turn when they hear a girl scream like she's being murdered and their the golden blonde twin is being held by the neck over the railing of teh second story in grand central. She's dangling. Sarah runs towards the man threateningly "Let go of my sister!" she growls, but she is suddenly pushed aside and slides back along the floor before hitting the wall.
They were quick to act (the two men are possibly Ti Lung and Shen but they also could be jsut some humans if anythign Sarah's ex-boyfriend and his bud both in a mob, he over heard her sister asking her to fill a restraining order) bUT TO ME i THINK THE BEst way to go would this could be Shen and Ti Lung... Shen beckons them to come or he will drop kill the girl. She screams trying to grasp the man holding her neck but it's no use. Yet both Ox and Cros run to her. The sister makes another step towards the man but the large dude with flaming red hair stops her, he picks her up "What do we have here" growling he chuckles "Worthless" and tosses her accrose teh stairs, she was sure she was goign to die or somethign, the post was just bellow she knew it would be moments her head would hit it and surly kill her. Her twin would be twinless for once, and actually though she argued with her sister so much she wished she knew how much she loved her. Suddenly she makes contact with someone "Got you" he growns falling down as well, while Croc in his human form sprinted up.
He kicked Shen out of the way and dove out to catch the girl before she fell and to her death along the flights of steps leading down bellow. "Don't worry I've got you'
As police are quick to enter the two seem to sink into the shadows before people notice them (the bad guys Shen and Ti and are gone) WHich police think is peculiar.
First people teens mostly have hteir camera's out most are awed and conversing quietly to eachother. But as the girl at the stairs gets up she blushes to stair at her bald hero, while the other one is pulled up and almost slips ont eh rim of the railing, but as she falls he hols her waist her arms wrap around his nekc and he catches her in a dip.
Everyone awes and murmers then suddenly a man whistles flirtaciously saying "Yeah... Wooh wait to go"
Everyone suddenly came out of their shock and all those watching claped the cops who came out at the ready all relaxed smirked and noded to teh men who saved the girls as they came to blown away. Though the girls are shocked they at first are hesitant but as the men are about to leave the girls call "Wait"
Croc being the smooth one with ladies back home smirks "Hey pick you up at eight.. Where China town meets little Itally that corner."
They were quiet but nod "Yeah" Sarah smiles "Sounds great... Though i think We'll pick the place it's the least we could do"
She takes them to some outdoor street dance in old Harlem or something... Which the sister Hava is not to keen on she gets very nicely along with Croc, which is odd for her to find him on the first date to be this intriging... She wanted to know him more.
There ya go my ideas...
Review time..
Ok in the last 1 and a half I must have read this story 2 times, it's my absolute favorite. I would have said 3 but ya know I started with the ideas I had, but then it was sent by accident after I had to remind myself what restrianing orders were called I forgot the term... But so I guess I'm making it now.
Great chapter, everythign from the begining was my favorite... I love how you created May, she fits perfectly, loe the way it sounds she looks, love the beautiuful encounter, Po playing hero nice ;) I love how you used the idea that she is a model, that fit in quiet nicely... :)
You don't know how long I've waited for you to update, I really could not wait after the shocker that Mr. Ping was in, what you were going to do, I had to knwo. I was about ready to message you on this chapter... But I guess I can't do that now.. LOL ;)
Oh I'm so excited to see if the bad guys take up human forms... Hey since Lord Shen believes in magic in all, IDEA TIME (AGAIN LOL): Why not have Shen do some research on what teh computer confused on what their called, that or he forces teh woman to take him to a old Chinese or old Magic and BOok shop (those are in so many movies never really seen one but just a suggestion) And have him get or make them get this book of old spells.. He finds one and it changes them to humans and they can change back to their original forms at will, that way they could sneak more easily on the team not being able to be noticed at first, he could plan a strategy and stuff.
Also what if Ti Lung, takes a visit to what he hears is the Mob boss, and he threatens him, killing the main boss of a group and taking charge of them askign "ANy more questions' the men are quick drop their guns and stand at attention as the skidish young boy timmidly replys "Nn..N.. no sir... or or.. Mr.. S.. sir"
He chuckles "Good." just thought them having some sort of army may help.
This spell could also be what's used in the end when the group fears they have to part from their loves Oogway appears, in human form as to not frighten the humans, and they notice the mysterious figure behind them jumpign as the portals about ready to close he just says the words and replys good luck, some shrink others grow, not noticing the changes, Sarah is tired and takes charge of her twin sister, Well what are you waiting for sis that mystic being is all I need to knwo thers no way in hell I'm staying here, now I love that man animal or not, common' she pushes her through while the others soon join. Only to be surprised as everyone looks surprised at them and they finally notice the moment heir through the reflection in the water their own changes but love them. Etc...
REVIEW:
I absolutly loved Crane putting his head in the freazer thinking a brian freaze would kill him LOL classic ;) I loved how that happened how funny it was, you wouldn't believe how hard I laughed... I also loved so much how the model I suggest was so quick to ask him out, flirted by kissing him, how Po blushed watching her walk off in the blue dress and he just stared at her number, now is that classic or what? :) GREAT Job...
I loved the scene how Croc and Ox appeared now was that not just increadible but amazing?
I love the suspence you added to the end of the story (what would be somewhat hilarious yet amazing, I'd be smiling from ear to ear, is if Shen being devious and stuff noticed how wicked the mother was nad though she had been a taken woman once, was not completly what he calls 'used' being a mother he kinda enjoys or likes her evil ways... That or Ti Does, I just thought of it is all.
Oh and by the way on my suggestion for the twins, don't worry the twins arn't the same as the ones from my story, the ones I suggested they have a whole part and connection to my main character, besides they meet in other terms... Just felt I'd add that in...
HMmmm anything else I can add... Well I love Garu and Pucca are watching TV, I don't know if I should call that irony or comedy but I loved it, just cause their from what was like old china watching tv is just humorus to me though they are kdis they would have gotten used to stuff...
Anyways gotta go, not much time left to get ready for work i got to angry at my computer
I love this chapter, hope to read it again over and over it's my favorite pure amazing... Oh and also Have a wonderful day, how does it feel being finally out of grade school?
Welll gotta go UPDATE AS SOON AS YOU CAN... Bye and have an amazing week thanks for updating :)
FOR CHAPTER 9 (TECHNICLY 8)
Ugh... I'm so killing my computer this summer... Sorry that review was not supposed to be sent like that I was making a short comment before reading again... GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I hate my computer right now... I want to toss it out my two story window just to see what happens it made me so made by sending that review when I didn't hit send yet... Grr
Sorry about that... Oh I just wanted to let you know you have Private Reviews off so I couldn't log out and review on that chapter... Just thought I'd give ya a heads up...
ANYWAYS Back to what I was saying... Since Obviously teh review was supposed to go first.. Huh... I'm having to make due and now say what I was saying... Uh well you get the picture everythings upside down now...
BACK TO THE IDEA:
Hava is on the bus dressed in a skirt and a blous off of her cases (maybe a free agent of sorts) She is insisting her sister should file a restraining order against her boyfriend, when suddenly the bus is attacked, maybe Sarah is used as a hostage, when Croc and Ox stand up, in the human forms and attack.
That or after Ox and Sarah blush at eachother, him hearing the sister trying to talk while she's leading teh tour guide, till they are engulfed by the croud in Grande Central Station.
Dylan waves his hand infront of the tall Ox, whose somewhat tan, he's bald but very musclar, everywhere they go a girl is swooning over his very handsome appearance almost being like Dwane the Rock Johnson, in looks. He didn't catch how the girl who accidently knocked into him blushed nad was gone made him stared and blush all the same, he could not even notice hte hand being waved infront of him.
But he soon returned to his group (Croc he is I think a golden blonde or red head, who's kinda short, and skiny wiht wheres more yellow board shorts and a green baseball sports jersey with green or tan Vans)
But both men turn when they hear a girl scream like she's being murdered and their the golden blonde twin is being held by the neck over the railing of teh second story in grand central. She's dangling. Sarah runs towards the man threateningly "Let go of my sister!" she growls, but she is suddenly pushed aside and slides back along the floor before hitting the wall.
They were quick to act (the two men are possibly Ti Lung and Shen but they also could be jsut some humans if anythign Sarah's ex-boyfriend and his bud both in a mob, he over heard her sister asking her to fill a restraining order) bUT TO ME i THINK THE BEst way to go would this could be Shen and Ti Lung... Shen beckons them to come or he will drop kill the girl. She screams trying to grasp the man holding her neck but it's no use. Yet both Ox and Cros run to her. The sister makes another step towards the man but the large dude with flaming red hair stops her, he picks her up "What do we have here" growling he chuckles "Worthless" and tosses her accrose teh stairs, she was sure she was goign to die or somethign, the post was just bellow she knew it would be moments her head would hit it and surly kill her. Her twin would be twinless for once, and actually though she argued with her sister so much she wished she knew how much she loved her. Suddenly she makes contact with someone "Got you" he growns falling down as well, while Croc in his human form sprinted up.
He kicked Shen out of the way and dove out to catch the girl before she fell and to her death along the flights of steps leading down bellow. "Don't worry I've got you'
As police are quick to enter the two seem to sink into the shadows before people notice them (the bad guys Shen and Ti and are gone) WHich police think is peculiar.
First people teens mostly have hteir camera's out most are awed and conversing quietly to eachother. But as the girl at the stairs gets up she blushes to stair at her bald hero, while the other one is pulled up and almost slips ont eh rim of the railing, but as she falls he hols her waist her arms wrap around his nekc and he catches her in a dip.
Everyone awes and murmers then suddenly a man whistles flirtaciously saying "Yeah... Wooh wait to go"
Everyone suddenly came out of their shock and all those watching claped the cops who came out at the ready all relaxed smirked and noded to teh men who saved the girls as they came to blown away. Though the girls are shocked they at first are hesitant but as the men are about to leave the girls call "Wait"
Croc being the smooth one with ladies back home smirks "Hey pick you up at eight.. Where China town meets little Itally that corner."
They were quiet but nod "Yeah" Sarah smiles "Sounds great... Though i think We'll pick the place it's the least we could do"
She takes them to some outdoor street dance in old Harlem or something... Which the sister Hava is not to keen on she gets very nicely along with Croc, which is odd for her to find him on the first date to be this intriging... She wanted to know him more.
There ya go my ideas...
Review time..
Ok in the last 1 and a half I must have read this story 2 times, it's my absolute favorite. I would have said 3 but ya know I started with the ideas I had, but then it was sent by accident after I had to remind myself what restrianing orders were called I forgot the term... But so I guess I'm making it now.
Great chapter, everythign from the begining was my favorite... I love how you created May, she fits perfectly, loe the way it sounds she looks, love the beautiuful encounter, Po playing hero nice ;) I love how you used the idea that she is a model, that fit in quiet nicely... :)
You don't know how long I've waited for you to update, I really could not wait after the shocker that Mr. Ping was in, what you were going to do, I had to knwo. I was about ready to message you on this chapter... But I guess I can't do that now.. LOL ;)
Oh I'm so excited to see if the bad guys take up human forms... Hey since Lord Shen believes in magic in all, IDEA TIME (AGAIN LOL): Why not have Shen do some research on what teh computer confused on what their called, that or he forces teh woman to take him to a old Chinese or old Magic and BOok shop (those are in so many movies never really seen one but just a suggestion) And have him get or make them get this book of old spells.. He finds one and it changes them to humans and they can change back to their original forms at will, that way they could sneak more easily on the team not being able to be noticed at first, he could plan a strategy and stuff.
Also what if Ti Lung, takes a visit to what he hears is the Mob boss, and he threatens him, killing the main boss of a group and taking charge of them askign "ANy more questions' the men are quick drop their guns and stand at attention as the skidish young boy timmidly replys "Nn..N.. no sir... or or.. Mr.. S.. sir"
He chuckles "Good." just thought them having some sort of army may help.
This spell could also be what's used in the end when the group fears they have to part from their loves Oogway appears, in human form as to not frighten the humans, and they notice the mysterious figure behind them jumpign as the portals about ready to close he just says the words and replys good luck, some shrink others grow, not noticing the changes, Sarah is tired and takes charge of her twin sister, Well what are you waiting for sis that mystic being is all I need to knwo thers no way in hell I'm staying here, now I love that man animal or not, common' she pushes her through while the others soon join. Only to be surprised as everyone looks surprised at them and they finally notice the moment heir through the reflection in the water their own changes but love them. Etc...
REVIEW:
I absolutly loved Crane putting his head in the freazer thinking a brian freaze would kill him LOL classic ;) I loved how that happened how funny it was, you wouldn't believe how hard I laughed... I also loved so much how the model I suggest was so quick to ask him out, flirted by kissing him, how Po blushed watching her walk off in the blue dress and he just stared at her number, now is that classic or what? :) GREAT Job...
I loved the scene how Croc and Ox appeared now was that not just increadible but amazing?
I love the suspence you added to the end of the story (what would be somewhat hilarious yet amazing, I'd be smiling from ear to ear, is if Shen being devious and stuff noticed how wicked the mother was nad though she had been a taken woman once, was not completly what he calls 'used' being a mother he kinda enjoys or likes her evil ways... That or Ti Does, I just thought of it is all.
Oh and by the way on my suggestion for the twins, don't worry the twins arn't the same as the ones from my story, the ones I suggested they have a whole part and connection to my main character, besides they meet in other terms... Just felt I'd add that in...
HMmmm anything else I can add... Well I love Garu and Pucca are watching TV, I don't know if I should call that irony or comedy but I loved it, just cause their from what was like old china watching tv is just humorus to me though they are kdis they would have gotten used to stuff...
Anyways gotta go, not much time left to get ready for work i got to angry at my computer
I love this chapter, hope to read it again over and over it's my favorite pure amazing... Oh and also Have a wonderful day, how does it feel being finally out of grade school?
Welll gotta go UPDATE AS SOON AS YOU CAN... Bye and have an amazing week thanks for updating :)
6/3/2012 c9 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
Idea:
Well since you've brought both Croc and Ox into the story, I'm REALLY EXCITED AND HAPPY YOU DID, I did not think they would be added, though after the last chapter I have to admit I kinda hoped they did, and especially the main bad guys
I'm super happy you've brought along Croc and Ox, (actually by the way the destraction being the helicopter falling... I'm guessing one of them through something into the propelor as the trick... BUt nice ;) I've wanted them to hold up a helicopter or something like it for like forever, but I did not know if it was to super power like for them or not so I was afraid to suggest it I did not know the limit of thier abilitys.. A girl can only dream... Huh I'm super happy you did this thought)
ANyways since CROC AND Ox are back in this story... I have a REALLY GOOD IDEA...
Well knowing how tight they are especially after watching the short movie thing on my Blue Ray dvd for KP2 called Legend of the Masters or something like that... I really realized how close they were... Infact I kinda had an idea they were best pals like Monkey and Crane are maybe more... But my idea I've also incorporated into my own story... Where Croc and Ox not only fall inlove also for Human girls, but they are twins, not just any twins SIAMESE TWINS, so they look alike... Except they are "THE SUN AND MOON" In otherwords that saying means their polure opisites. Such as one may like to party and dance flirting with boys, while the other likes crackign the books and peaceful sweet things, having quiet times writing stories etc. ONes esentric and passionate, a drama queen, headstrong. While teh others soft, smart, (maybe a lawyer), sweet but gentle, shy but is graceful, loves ballet compared to her sisters taste in hip hop, she thinks things through unlike her sister who doesn't and heads right into the ring without thinking anythign through then takes like as it goes... THey'd be great woman to be with Croc and Ox.
My idea is they are French or English girls who ventured to America with their parents when they were teenagers. They both dance one Hip Hop the other Ballet expert. The sister whose esentric could be a tourist guide, while the quiet one I think should be a lawyer, but they meet the boys (Ox and Croc) while the team or at least Ox and Croc take a tourist bus, that or they meet by a tourist guide for example Sarah (what I'm calling her for now a golden brown haired girl with blue eyes or shiny charcoal black hair) She bumps into Ox while giving a group a tour of Grand Central at the clock tower in the middle.
My idea if you choose the route with the bus tour, that the sister Hava (I'll call her that) is also on the bus, insisting her sister appeal a
Idea:
Well since you've brought both Croc and Ox into the story, I'm REALLY EXCITED AND HAPPY YOU DID, I did not think they would be added, though after the last chapter I have to admit I kinda hoped they did, and especially the main bad guys
I'm super happy you've brought along Croc and Ox, (actually by the way the destraction being the helicopter falling... I'm guessing one of them through something into the propelor as the trick... BUt nice ;) I've wanted them to hold up a helicopter or something like it for like forever, but I did not know if it was to super power like for them or not so I was afraid to suggest it I did not know the limit of thier abilitys.. A girl can only dream... Huh I'm super happy you did this thought)
ANyways since CROC AND Ox are back in this story... I have a REALLY GOOD IDEA...
Well knowing how tight they are especially after watching the short movie thing on my Blue Ray dvd for KP2 called Legend of the Masters or something like that... I really realized how close they were... Infact I kinda had an idea they were best pals like Monkey and Crane are maybe more... But my idea I've also incorporated into my own story... Where Croc and Ox not only fall inlove also for Human girls, but they are twins, not just any twins SIAMESE TWINS, so they look alike... Except they are "THE SUN AND MOON" In otherwords that saying means their polure opisites. Such as one may like to party and dance flirting with boys, while the other likes crackign the books and peaceful sweet things, having quiet times writing stories etc. ONes esentric and passionate, a drama queen, headstrong. While teh others soft, smart, (maybe a lawyer), sweet but gentle, shy but is graceful, loves ballet compared to her sisters taste in hip hop, she thinks things through unlike her sister who doesn't and heads right into the ring without thinking anythign through then takes like as it goes... THey'd be great woman to be with Croc and Ox.
My idea is they are French or English girls who ventured to America with their parents when they were teenagers. They both dance one Hip Hop the other Ballet expert. The sister whose esentric could be a tourist guide, while the quiet one I think should be a lawyer, but they meet the boys (Ox and Croc) while the team or at least Ox and Croc take a tourist bus, that or they meet by a tourist guide for example Sarah (what I'm calling her for now a golden brown haired girl with blue eyes or shiny charcoal black hair) She bumps into Ox while giving a group a tour of Grand Central at the clock tower in the middle.
My idea if you choose the route with the bus tour, that the sister Hava (I'll call her that) is also on the bus, insisting her sister appeal a
5/18/2012 c7 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
Hey again, this is continued from my review on Chapter 7 (well techinicly six as you had it)
Oh, next time around I'll take your advise and log out of Fanfiction to review to the next chapter... But I figured since technicly I'm reviewing on these last three chapter... Why not just completly use the reviews all together...
Well I'm sure I won't go over the word limit on this one just to let you know...
REVIEW !
Alrighty... I that it was awesome how in this chapter esepcially you brought for everyone except Po (though I hope you do something for him like what I suggested he needs a gal too I think.. And Garu and Pucca I think should have a Auntie come in for their Uncle Po... As I recall in the last story you had the children call him...
But I realy thought they all were cute... I wanted to say Tigress's was my favorite, but then I thought I realy liked Vipers encounter and THen Mantis's... I'm not holding my hands in the air giving up to say this in generall I LOVE ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT are now starting, those are amazing and to tell the truth I love them all how they started.. I think the roller scatter is awesome because she can be compared to how Mantis is super fast, maybe the reason he's attracted to her... Can't wait to see if she does go with him to the Valley of Peace which I hope he does, cause then I can't wait to see if they try to race her on roller scates even if she's "Changed in her form" if you get what I'm saying like I suggested before ;) ;) (wink wink) lol
I relaly liked Vipers guy too, man does he need some self encouragment well and a gal like Vip, can't imagine what he will do when he finds out that she's a Viper "Psss Director cue the fainting" LOL ;) ok sorry couln't resist that joke had it comeing...
I loved Tigress's dude too... He sounds like he could be less then interested, but allows her to join, sounds all hard core and proeffessional... I think he'll fit right in with the group... Infact if he goes back to their wrold... Well I think he will fit terificly in if not be right in his element...
(Oh by the way that gall I suggested Seira, what if she loves animals of course bears and panda's, but wishes to have lived like her parents in the rainforests and stuff with only the animals as her social enviroment.. I don't know it doesn't sound like what I was thinking exactly, but what if she wants to live around animals explains dreaming of such... Animals that acted like people... (SMIRKING RIGHT NOW AND SHRUGGING SHOULDERS) That and she is a supporter of several nature reserves and animal conservationist /saving groups nad severl animal rights and human society charities... Just saying it would be good to have a tree hugger/Annimal lover of sorts in this story and I could see Po iwth that kinda gal)
Anywhose, I lvoe the conflict of the hired guns trying to take the children, the children beating them up while Kimmey and Airy looked on baffled and shocked wanting to do something, while everyone else was all together not that badly worried.
Hmm lets see what else can I say... HMMM
I loved the dates that Kimmy and Mack have been going on as well as Crane and Arizona's dates... Oh how sweet, sweetly hilarious amazing and funny... I loved them do more of those please, especially wiht the others the other members of the group have met...
I really can't wait for more and hope you update really soon... Let me know what you think of the Po idea with a girl thanks to his father setting him up with Seira.. Well gotta go, I have thirty minutes before I start getting ready for work.. I work from 6-12:45 which may end up being later so I'm closing shift bleh, I say I love it and I do, but I hate busy nights like this I beg my cast members to help me clean up before they leave cause I have to deal with the popers and warmers and I hate cleaning the warmers I perfer normal nights.. it's crazy... Huh oh well... That's life... SO I best be going I'm super tired I met with my older Cousy and hsi new girlfriend (after dating the same gal who was a jerk at least I recently found out she was I thought she had been sweet, for mroe then thirteen years, having no one for the last five years, he really needed someone... It was his birthday today it was awesome his new girl and him came up from Santa Rosa and I loved seeing him, he's been like my older brother even with the distance we are from eachother.. I get all giddy and excited like a child when I find out I'm getting to see him or he's around it's funny... I guess it's cause I know he really cares and stuff for me and all that.. I really liked this gal.. SHe's good for him keeps him leavle if you know what I mean... She's good with dogs my shy dog Shane warmed up to her instantly sat on her lap the whole car ride both back and too the ferries... That is unusual he's so scared of people.. FUnny I htink she's a great gal... I think she's perfect for my cousy/Cuz... But I got up really early got reaty and nice for the nice breakfast out and I'm super tired no cafine or coffee today so I think I want some coffee before I go to work... That or it could be my masquera or eyeliner (shrugging shoulders again)
Anyways :) I best be getting off and getting ready... I'll see, or here from you around.. Hope to hear from you soon to see what you thought of my new ideas... Well I best be going thank you oh so much.. I can't wait for more.. oh and have an awesome night HAPPY GRADUATION...
HAPPY HAPPY GRADUATION FROM ALL OF US TO YOU WE WISH YOU A HAPPY GRADUATION SO SAY HEY AND THROW IN A HURRAY! HURRAY!
Just a little somethign I liked to throw in, hope that made you smile :) Night girly Have an awesome time your free from HIgh School and that's a great feeling... Have a great Grad party as well... Thanks for everything talk to you soon. CGSHHF/Blurr Girl's outie... Thanks so much night :) ;) :D ;D
Hey again, this is continued from my review on Chapter 7 (well techinicly six as you had it)
Oh, next time around I'll take your advise and log out of Fanfiction to review to the next chapter... But I figured since technicly I'm reviewing on these last three chapter... Why not just completly use the reviews all together...
Well I'm sure I won't go over the word limit on this one just to let you know...
REVIEW !
Alrighty... I that it was awesome how in this chapter esepcially you brought for everyone except Po (though I hope you do something for him like what I suggested he needs a gal too I think.. And Garu and Pucca I think should have a Auntie come in for their Uncle Po... As I recall in the last story you had the children call him...
But I realy thought they all were cute... I wanted to say Tigress's was my favorite, but then I thought I realy liked Vipers encounter and THen Mantis's... I'm not holding my hands in the air giving up to say this in generall I LOVE ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT are now starting, those are amazing and to tell the truth I love them all how they started.. I think the roller scatter is awesome because she can be compared to how Mantis is super fast, maybe the reason he's attracted to her... Can't wait to see if she does go with him to the Valley of Peace which I hope he does, cause then I can't wait to see if they try to race her on roller scates even if she's "Changed in her form" if you get what I'm saying like I suggested before ;) ;) (wink wink) lol
I relaly liked Vipers guy too, man does he need some self encouragment well and a gal like Vip, can't imagine what he will do when he finds out that she's a Viper "Psss Director cue the fainting" LOL ;) ok sorry couln't resist that joke had it comeing...
I loved Tigress's dude too... He sounds like he could be less then interested, but allows her to join, sounds all hard core and proeffessional... I think he'll fit right in with the group... Infact if he goes back to their wrold... Well I think he will fit terificly in if not be right in his element...
(Oh by the way that gall I suggested Seira, what if she loves animals of course bears and panda's, but wishes to have lived like her parents in the rainforests and stuff with only the animals as her social enviroment.. I don't know it doesn't sound like what I was thinking exactly, but what if she wants to live around animals explains dreaming of such... Animals that acted like people... (SMIRKING RIGHT NOW AND SHRUGGING SHOULDERS) That and she is a supporter of several nature reserves and animal conservationist /saving groups nad severl animal rights and human society charities... Just saying it would be good to have a tree hugger/Annimal lover of sorts in this story and I could see Po iwth that kinda gal)
Anywhose, I lvoe the conflict of the hired guns trying to take the children, the children beating them up while Kimmey and Airy looked on baffled and shocked wanting to do something, while everyone else was all together not that badly worried.
Hmm lets see what else can I say... HMMM
I loved the dates that Kimmy and Mack have been going on as well as Crane and Arizona's dates... Oh how sweet, sweetly hilarious amazing and funny... I loved them do more of those please, especially wiht the others the other members of the group have met...
I really can't wait for more and hope you update really soon... Let me know what you think of the Po idea with a girl thanks to his father setting him up with Seira.. Well gotta go, I have thirty minutes before I start getting ready for work.. I work from 6-12:45 which may end up being later so I'm closing shift bleh, I say I love it and I do, but I hate busy nights like this I beg my cast members to help me clean up before they leave cause I have to deal with the popers and warmers and I hate cleaning the warmers I perfer normal nights.. it's crazy... Huh oh well... That's life... SO I best be going I'm super tired I met with my older Cousy and hsi new girlfriend (after dating the same gal who was a jerk at least I recently found out she was I thought she had been sweet, for mroe then thirteen years, having no one for the last five years, he really needed someone... It was his birthday today it was awesome his new girl and him came up from Santa Rosa and I loved seeing him, he's been like my older brother even with the distance we are from eachother.. I get all giddy and excited like a child when I find out I'm getting to see him or he's around it's funny... I guess it's cause I know he really cares and stuff for me and all that.. I really liked this gal.. SHe's good for him keeps him leavle if you know what I mean... She's good with dogs my shy dog Shane warmed up to her instantly sat on her lap the whole car ride both back and too the ferries... That is unusual he's so scared of people.. FUnny I htink she's a great gal... I think she's perfect for my cousy/Cuz... But I got up really early got reaty and nice for the nice breakfast out and I'm super tired no cafine or coffee today so I think I want some coffee before I go to work... That or it could be my masquera or eyeliner (shrugging shoulders again)
Anyways :) I best be getting off and getting ready... I'll see, or here from you around.. Hope to hear from you soon to see what you thought of my new ideas... Well I best be going thank you oh so much.. I can't wait for more.. oh and have an awesome night HAPPY GRADUATION...
HAPPY HAPPY GRADUATION FROM ALL OF US TO YOU WE WISH YOU A HAPPY GRADUATION SO SAY HEY AND THROW IN A HURRAY! HURRAY!
Just a little somethign I liked to throw in, hope that made you smile :) Night girly Have an awesome time your free from HIgh School and that's a great feeling... Have a great Grad party as well... Thanks for everything talk to you soon. CGSHHF/Blurr Girl's outie... Thanks so much night :) ;) :D ;D
5/18/2012 c8 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
Hey Girly,
pre-First Off (lol ;)...) Sorry I took so dang long to update, lifes been really busy and hectic of sorts, that essay never did get turned in computer problems and such two hours before it was due bleh :P not pleasant I'll ahve to settle for half credit now never got to get it in and lied to mom that I got it in stressful... huh... Work made it worst... Ugh I've got a hectic life happening here on the Pacific Northwest...
Anways...
FIRST OFF when I saw you updated this week I was going to review as soon as I could... But I decided to firstly wait till Friday since your graduating today I Wanted to wish you a HAPPY HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR GRADUATION... I'm sure you'll love it... Yah I have to admit their sorta dull.. My friend and I had our parents nearby taking pictures, so we decided to make funny faces and stuff mom got a really funny one of that, I still laugh looking at it... But it made it eventful with the blow up beach balls going everywhich way, even though the president hates them we always manage to get them in the ceramony lol (gigling) hmmm I wonder why ;) 0:) O;) Anyways I'm sure you'll enjoy it, it's an amazing experience.. Hope you attend your grad night mine was off the hook... It was totally amazing... Though theirs other things that are just as great many of my friends did not attend grad night, but that night I got several complements from a major crush of mine who hung out with me alot that day... he was a major hottie and he kept saying he liked my dress LOL... Funnny I talked with him months ago on facebook we talked all the time on facebook in high school he used to tell me the most random or secretive stuff it was fun, but when I talked to him he really forgot who I was... I kinda think he became a junky but he works at as a trainer at the athletic club so who knows...
ANYWAYS, HAPPY GRADUATIONS TO YOU.. I hope you have an amazing time... Sitting wiht a friend imagining funny things and making faces or something in the seats, doign somethign of the sorts to keep you intertained along with those around you, really helps you pass the time...
Anyways, I'm glad you liked several of my suggestions.. Yeah I'm sorry that was such a one sider story... I didn't mean for it to be at first, but then I made the note later that it could be part of the side stories to Al-ho and Yu-pa's stuff... Oh just to let you know I'm not a Jersey Shores fan at all.. Actually I should admit this I feel embaresed saying it but I realy didn't know what Jersey Shores was until like two or three years ago, I heard things even in those times but slowly learned that it's some show, that crazy stuff happens and from what I've heard it's like I know is not my type of shows... I'm mnore actiony... But yes I'm a soap opera dream boat lover "LOL" SORRY The term came to mind that way and I'm now laughing out loud at what I typed it sounds funny... I watched soaps when I was like three mom was doign laundery so I guess I do think and creat stories alot like the soaps... THough she did shoosh me out at that age for much of the stuff, you know all the inapropriate things for children that happen in them...
Well anyways...
SECONDLY... Ok I knwo I could write a whole guide to New York to you... BUt honestly I have a better idea I recently thought of... Alright if you research on Youtube my name Colorguardsweethreat (Don't worry I made the page when I was sick and sadly can not change the name when I realized the instant it was created how off my spelling was) That or look up New York CHoir Trip, and it should appear eventually under me.. Go to my page then look through my videos I put them up their at the request of many choir kids I was with, and the choir teachers of course... While some personal ones from the last time I went to New York.. My parents also filmed some stuff... But check then out.. Note i don't think I named all the New York Videos, so that's why I'm suggesting you go to my page first... I hope this helps, it may give you several ideas on where the groups can go...
Yeah I understand them getting home sick and not being able to be around that long as I suggested... I really had a iffy moment saying they'd be that long, I just suggested the marriage then a pregnancy and thought it would be cool if one of the group had children/twins in New York before returning I hated how long it would have to be... LOl By the way yet again I apoligize for all the drama in htat review how it was so soap opera is, I'm really a killer for suspense and drama, it's just who I am, i'm still laughign about how it sounds so soap opera'ish/operay your so right... ;)
Alright REVEW TIME YYYYAAA!
I really am glade you gave everyone... Well except Po, someone to love...
IDEA:
Alright Po has no one right now... BUT his dad is their... WHat if one day (of course after his dad has changed ot human) He is walking New York, most likely near MACY'S theirs this huge shoping center of all these brand name stores around Macy's... Well whne he see's a skiny tall girl on the side of the street or at the park like clock tower right across from Macy's. She's crying into her hands and such. In very fancy attire etc... Turns out she's a model but was just fired from her job because her boss didn't think she was "blonde enough" that or "red enough" like maybe she's a strawberry red with evergreen eyes, looks sorta celtic... He asks her what's wrong and she just balls, eventually she tells him her boss just fired her over her not being tall nor red enough for the shoot. That this always happens and this was just her big break (Idea kinda came from Smash) Well he has an idea and tells her if their's someplace they can meet later that he is sure he can help her look to the bright side of this... She agrees, but instead of him coming Mr Ping sets his son Po up dresses him all nice, and the place they meet is actually a nice French resteraunt right next to Gramarcy Park (owned by the hotel by the same name, very famous park) He asks for his fathers name and he is lead outside where a girl who was told to dress nice by the old man was in a sparkly champagn gold dress. Po is stuned, Christa is a good name for her that or Seira. But Po takes a likeing.. I just think what if the reason his father was sent was because he needed and extra kick to go out and find her.. ANd start like the others having a relationship, one of which his father aproves of... Also what if like Po, she was also abandoned as a child, that her parents were photographers that travled around the world producing news and exploring... That they were killed during a raid in Africa, and somehow she ended up in America wiht a boy from the village who is like her brother at a couples home (a couple who could not have kids, and were thus adopted) That they both learned the later fate of their parents as adults... BUt it would be nice for him to be given someone with similarities or have the reasons for his father suddenly showing up sent by Oogway to get the Dragon Warrior a women, one whose kind and knows his pain about being always picked at by the way they look (Models have similar scrutiny in their profession as someone who is obese, I know this from several people who were models, in teh profession or in turn my ex singing teacher who was on Broadway and Modeld both professions are just as hard, demanding and scrutinize the way you look... I thought if anyone should be with Po why not a soft spoken girl, with similar pains who understands his woes, having many of her own, and also gets almost everyday picked at by the way she is... A good sentance for her to use, as they take a romantic carriage ride dinking apple cider through the city and Central park would be for her to say "You know.. I know I have a bad proffession" gigling at hersle as she snuggled into his warm chest watching the stars, he was big but the bigest heart she had ever met. "I mean why would someone want a job where the way you look is so important and your bullied about your own faults everyday by new people who don't even know you... I mean all my past relationships the men always called me fat..."
"Whoa hang on you fat... Seira whoa hang on... Look at yourself.. YOur the most beautiful skiny, woman I've known... How can you think or any man for that matter think your fat... Their idiots.."
"Peter I'm the average weight and hieght for a woman, I'm hardly five ten..."
"But your beautfiul none the less."
"Common" she gigles "I'm the skiniest you've met Viva is short but even she's skinier then me."
"Yeah but she's Viva it's... it's part of her nature and she's a dancer."
Sighing she turns away from him still in his hold watching the stars beautifuly "Well believe it or not, but some... well alot of jerks in this twon want profession.. I jsut happen to always fall for them and stupidly believe that it can work and they truly love me... I'm just eye candy and a prize to them."
"Well your not to me.. your beautiful woman, with an equally beautiufl soul that I love" that made her smile as she watches his eyes that gleam like the stars.
"You know this place your from... THe Valley of Peace... It sounds all together wonderful.. I think I'd like to go their someday soon.. If not leave all this for that... It sounds all together perfect... I think I need some peace at long last in my life."
"Well maybe when we go back you can come with."
"Will see my teddy bear... will see" She wraps her arms tightly around him smiling as big as him "You bring the little girl I lost to scrutiny out in me... Thank you Peter... Thank you for being here when I needed you.. Being here all this time.. I lvoe you."
THat shocks him as he jumps and looks to her skeptical.. he feels funny never had a girl automaticly even on the first date said they loved him, but looking at her be began to smile... "Thanks.. I.. I think I am begining for my first time to love you too...
Review continued shortly... ENd of stor
Hey Girly,
pre-First Off (lol ;)...) Sorry I took so dang long to update, lifes been really busy and hectic of sorts, that essay never did get turned in computer problems and such two hours before it was due bleh :P not pleasant I'll ahve to settle for half credit now never got to get it in and lied to mom that I got it in stressful... huh... Work made it worst... Ugh I've got a hectic life happening here on the Pacific Northwest...
Anways...
FIRST OFF when I saw you updated this week I was going to review as soon as I could... But I decided to firstly wait till Friday since your graduating today I Wanted to wish you a HAPPY HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR GRADUATION... I'm sure you'll love it... Yah I have to admit their sorta dull.. My friend and I had our parents nearby taking pictures, so we decided to make funny faces and stuff mom got a really funny one of that, I still laugh looking at it... But it made it eventful with the blow up beach balls going everywhich way, even though the president hates them we always manage to get them in the ceramony lol (gigling) hmmm I wonder why ;) 0:) O;) Anyways I'm sure you'll enjoy it, it's an amazing experience.. Hope you attend your grad night mine was off the hook... It was totally amazing... Though theirs other things that are just as great many of my friends did not attend grad night, but that night I got several complements from a major crush of mine who hung out with me alot that day... he was a major hottie and he kept saying he liked my dress LOL... Funnny I talked with him months ago on facebook we talked all the time on facebook in high school he used to tell me the most random or secretive stuff it was fun, but when I talked to him he really forgot who I was... I kinda think he became a junky but he works at as a trainer at the athletic club so who knows...
ANYWAYS, HAPPY GRADUATIONS TO YOU.. I hope you have an amazing time... Sitting wiht a friend imagining funny things and making faces or something in the seats, doign somethign of the sorts to keep you intertained along with those around you, really helps you pass the time...
Anyways, I'm glad you liked several of my suggestions.. Yeah I'm sorry that was such a one sider story... I didn't mean for it to be at first, but then I made the note later that it could be part of the side stories to Al-ho and Yu-pa's stuff... Oh just to let you know I'm not a Jersey Shores fan at all.. Actually I should admit this I feel embaresed saying it but I realy didn't know what Jersey Shores was until like two or three years ago, I heard things even in those times but slowly learned that it's some show, that crazy stuff happens and from what I've heard it's like I know is not my type of shows... I'm mnore actiony... But yes I'm a soap opera dream boat lover "LOL" SORRY The term came to mind that way and I'm now laughing out loud at what I typed it sounds funny... I watched soaps when I was like three mom was doign laundery so I guess I do think and creat stories alot like the soaps... THough she did shoosh me out at that age for much of the stuff, you know all the inapropriate things for children that happen in them...
Well anyways...
SECONDLY... Ok I knwo I could write a whole guide to New York to you... BUt honestly I have a better idea I recently thought of... Alright if you research on Youtube my name Colorguardsweethreat (Don't worry I made the page when I was sick and sadly can not change the name when I realized the instant it was created how off my spelling was) That or look up New York CHoir Trip, and it should appear eventually under me.. Go to my page then look through my videos I put them up their at the request of many choir kids I was with, and the choir teachers of course... While some personal ones from the last time I went to New York.. My parents also filmed some stuff... But check then out.. Note i don't think I named all the New York Videos, so that's why I'm suggesting you go to my page first... I hope this helps, it may give you several ideas on where the groups can go...
Yeah I understand them getting home sick and not being able to be around that long as I suggested... I really had a iffy moment saying they'd be that long, I just suggested the marriage then a pregnancy and thought it would be cool if one of the group had children/twins in New York before returning I hated how long it would have to be... LOl By the way yet again I apoligize for all the drama in htat review how it was so soap opera is, I'm really a killer for suspense and drama, it's just who I am, i'm still laughign about how it sounds so soap opera'ish/operay your so right... ;)
Alright REVEW TIME YYYYAAA!
I really am glade you gave everyone... Well except Po, someone to love...
IDEA:
Alright Po has no one right now... BUT his dad is their... WHat if one day (of course after his dad has changed ot human) He is walking New York, most likely near MACY'S theirs this huge shoping center of all these brand name stores around Macy's... Well whne he see's a skiny tall girl on the side of the street or at the park like clock tower right across from Macy's. She's crying into her hands and such. In very fancy attire etc... Turns out she's a model but was just fired from her job because her boss didn't think she was "blonde enough" that or "red enough" like maybe she's a strawberry red with evergreen eyes, looks sorta celtic... He asks her what's wrong and she just balls, eventually she tells him her boss just fired her over her not being tall nor red enough for the shoot. That this always happens and this was just her big break (Idea kinda came from Smash) Well he has an idea and tells her if their's someplace they can meet later that he is sure he can help her look to the bright side of this... She agrees, but instead of him coming Mr Ping sets his son Po up dresses him all nice, and the place they meet is actually a nice French resteraunt right next to Gramarcy Park (owned by the hotel by the same name, very famous park) He asks for his fathers name and he is lead outside where a girl who was told to dress nice by the old man was in a sparkly champagn gold dress. Po is stuned, Christa is a good name for her that or Seira. But Po takes a likeing.. I just think what if the reason his father was sent was because he needed and extra kick to go out and find her.. ANd start like the others having a relationship, one of which his father aproves of... Also what if like Po, she was also abandoned as a child, that her parents were photographers that travled around the world producing news and exploring... That they were killed during a raid in Africa, and somehow she ended up in America wiht a boy from the village who is like her brother at a couples home (a couple who could not have kids, and were thus adopted) That they both learned the later fate of their parents as adults... BUt it would be nice for him to be given someone with similarities or have the reasons for his father suddenly showing up sent by Oogway to get the Dragon Warrior a women, one whose kind and knows his pain about being always picked at by the way they look (Models have similar scrutiny in their profession as someone who is obese, I know this from several people who were models, in teh profession or in turn my ex singing teacher who was on Broadway and Modeld both professions are just as hard, demanding and scrutinize the way you look... I thought if anyone should be with Po why not a soft spoken girl, with similar pains who understands his woes, having many of her own, and also gets almost everyday picked at by the way she is... A good sentance for her to use, as they take a romantic carriage ride dinking apple cider through the city and Central park would be for her to say "You know.. I know I have a bad proffession" gigling at hersle as she snuggled into his warm chest watching the stars, he was big but the bigest heart she had ever met. "I mean why would someone want a job where the way you look is so important and your bullied about your own faults everyday by new people who don't even know you... I mean all my past relationships the men always called me fat..."
"Whoa hang on you fat... Seira whoa hang on... Look at yourself.. YOur the most beautiful skiny, woman I've known... How can you think or any man for that matter think your fat... Their idiots.."
"Peter I'm the average weight and hieght for a woman, I'm hardly five ten..."
"But your beautfiul none the less."
"Common" she gigles "I'm the skiniest you've met Viva is short but even she's skinier then me."
"Yeah but she's Viva it's... it's part of her nature and she's a dancer."
Sighing she turns away from him still in his hold watching the stars beautifuly "Well believe it or not, but some... well alot of jerks in this twon want profession.. I jsut happen to always fall for them and stupidly believe that it can work and they truly love me... I'm just eye candy and a prize to them."
"Well your not to me.. your beautiful woman, with an equally beautiufl soul that I love" that made her smile as she watches his eyes that gleam like the stars.
"You know this place your from... THe Valley of Peace... It sounds all together wonderful.. I think I'd like to go their someday soon.. If not leave all this for that... It sounds all together perfect... I think I need some peace at long last in my life."
"Well maybe when we go back you can come with."
"Will see my teddy bear... will see" She wraps her arms tightly around him smiling as big as him "You bring the little girl I lost to scrutiny out in me... Thank you Peter... Thank you for being here when I needed you.. Being here all this time.. I lvoe you."
THat shocks him as he jumps and looks to her skeptical.. he feels funny never had a girl automaticly even on the first date said they loved him, but looking at her be began to smile... "Thanks.. I.. I think I am begining for my first time to love you too...
Review continued shortly... ENd of stor
5/9/2012 c2 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
Alright Hi Again ;) sheepishly smiling...
Well here I go more of my suggestions... AND THESE I'M SUPER Excited about.
First off so you knwo... Just to let you know the Pantom of the Opera Musical movie is awesome I love it, but personally I had seen it like three or four times before that movie came out when i was in Junior High... Here's the thing in the movie the chandelier crashes at the end setting the whole stage on firer while the Prima Dona cries/weeps over her husbands body while the flames consume them both... Unfortunatly though that ending is so dramatic and amazing the theater smoldering mostly to the ground fireman of the day rushign in to save people as Christine and Raloul escape being released by the Phantom... Unfortunatly that's not the original version. Since the musical was made in the 70's if you have not seen a stage production let me help breka it down for you at least differences from the movie, those that wiki may or not say when looking up the facts of it... Well before the intermision the chandelier falls down almost upon the audiance, two actors playing stage crew personal step on the stage acting scard trying to stop it but it runs into them their electricuted lights flicker fireworks explode and theirs a small firer on stage.. Right as the Phantom says "Go..." beckoning to the chandelier once he witnised Raloule singing to Christine 'All I Ask of You' (Proclaiming his love her her, she does the same and he basicly says no longer fear the night hence the beginng 'NO more talk of darkness forget these white eyed fears, I'm here with you besides you to guide you...') the phantom hiding in the winged gargoyl on the roof right above the roof top she ran out on... He cries out how he loves her and she's betrayed him etc after calling her name in the background hearing htem sing "All that the phantom asks of ..." laughing maniacly which is quiet scary and freakishly loud for te audiance brings shivers down your spine "!' He cries and wiht the swish of his cape disapering from the very roof area of the stage witht he swish of his cape, the chandelier falls etc...
Pending the intermission the opening scene is the Masquerade/Masquerade song in which the owners mentions the brand new chandelier, in the movie they give no reason for this line or having to get a new chandelier, the reason is because of the phantom, though the chandelier in the opening is the crashed one, it is suposed ot represent the recreated one for the year later... Which they changed because of the crash incident which alsow was the last time the phantom was ever seen... Just wanted that cleared before the next chapter was contined...
NOW I must get to what I'm really excited about before I run out of room... My full Suggestion... And this one I'm hugely excited about...
~Sugestion~
Well I really like what you did taking the characters with the suggestion I made and letting them take the appearance of humans while able to change back to themselves if so wished...
BUt one thing I came up wiht never thinking of beofre are those two girls being newer characters like Molly to this story in general...
Well I quiet like Arizona (Her nickname just for fun should be Airy/Ary; Air-e is how it would be pronounced) While Kimberly's nickname obvioulsy Kimmy or Kim
Secondly I realy like the girls keep them around... I think Airy should be Oregan wet yet has it's dry desert qualties as well the best of all US in one, at least the wilderness sections.. First state I could think of wtih all sorts of qualities to it... Now she has light brown hair that's medium long feathered in cut starting from mid cheek which shapes her face, wiht light bangs then feather down to her bust bellow bust line in back, lightly tanned skin eyes that sparkle like jewels soft but true sea green eyes only mimics of her sweet kind nature and true beauty both inner and outer (she's the level head and mature figure between her and her friend Kimmy whose more the wild child Airy acts as the adult figure in their friendship often more responsible being whose always their for Kims as she calls her like Kims calls her Airs there bff's that are alot like sisters also she's normal hieght same with her friend but more modest in what she dresses in compared to Kims who likes more wild somwhat fashionista and wild mix but in her own sense is not to wild in dressing and has some modesty about her. While Kimmy should be originally from Texas or Nevada, don't know why probably because of my roomy Kimmy she cries out as one of these states being her original home, though due to my cousin I see her as a sandy blond woman her hair long at least meets to the middle of her back though looks fine and silky moving wiht her and is cut from the bottom of her neck down forming a V shape, with brown rustic eyes brown honey color (which honey eyes are actually quite dark from the charts I looked at of human eyes) but tan skin from her days in the son... More on them in a bit hopefully sooN.
K, so actually Crane and Monkey instead sit with them asking the men or woman who actually have the seats (both girls are sitting sepeartly) if they can exchange seats, they notice the couple and happily ablige. They have a great time with them, infact Kimmy apprehensive and reserved at first, and Monkey isn't quiet sure about her. Though she's a major critic and believer in womans rights, when she asks him something he makes a male chavenous answer she slightly grows angry but instead of telling him acts reserved puckers her lips and leans away from him refusing ot get close, though he does not get this and tries. She also is very self suficient, independent, troublesome, opinionated and assertive to her beliefs and goals in life very different that that in which her soft coy appearance of needing protection and being fragile may make one believe or institute to thought. Yet oldly enough she's free and wild as any child if not is still a child at heart and is a major prankster 'queen of the pranks' Though many of these characteristics will be addressed shortly for more in depth.
Monkey's unsure how to take her sudden agression and attitude infact he can't get it or her off his mind because it baffles him due to the fact that where he's from (in his time) most woman other then those in the palace by her age are matched by matchmakers or fathers to be the housekeepers and take care of the house and children... Their taught to bite thier tongues and most due (realistic history of ancient China and alot of other cultures)
Crane and Ary have a different expression of interest, duringthe parts with the firer and threats the phantom makes she grabs him tight, being a more outgoing ecentric ambitious gal, just as free spirited and lively she glowed like the sun. Infact he's quite timmid being around her for a human she was quiet beautiful and sweet he got to know her a little and it seemed she was just as shy about talking with a guy as he was to a random girl or any girl for that matter. "I'm sorry" she appoligizes blushing while they get her seat "But... i.. I... I don't usually do this... I... I really hate Kims right now you know... She's usually the one to... to well"
"Pick someone at random off the street and set you up."
"Yeah well..." blushing she scratches the back of her head "Sorta, she's my main girl but I don't think she gets what kinda guys I'm in."
"What's taht?"
"THe sweet down to earth but free spirited... I have a pashion for pasifists always have, and has to be out to try new things, I want someone sweat not afraid to speak his mind, show emotions may be shy of them but you know... It... It's sorta funny you know?"
"What" he inquires curiously leaning closer towards her finding a him drawn in by her.
"Well the... The moment you ran into me.. and... And I saw... I saw... Well... Never mind" her cheeks a red as acherry and she pushes her hair behind her ears bitting her lip she seems shier then before "I... I don't know I.. It... It was like I was drawn to you... Call me silly but my stomach like fliped... I mean your... YOUr quiet eye catching, not bad to look at but... But i never let my self close to a guy this soon or off the streets.. but theirs something about you... LIke alien but... but whatever it is I... I find I want to know you more.
"Funny I... I don't know how to say this but when I saw you I felt just as strange I mean it's like my stomach got in a knot, i was afriad I couldn't speak to you or would sound stupid and jumble my words it wouldn't be the first but I... i didn't want to leave your sight or let you disapear like a dream... I... I think I might like to get to know you better."
"Funny I think Kims plan to get me a man is finally working..." She gleamed snuggling into his shoulder. During the production Crane hesitantly wants to grab her hand but she's the one to take action from him going half way then settling on his own leg and acting nervous, she grabs his and smiles snuggling into his chest as they watch the shwo. Laterhe grabs the nerve watching her curiously as Think of Me plays shortly after the begining. He puts his arm around her stretching unsure how to do it, but he gets his arm around her (Monkey is better and does it not as timmid while she just as flirtaciously aggrees tehir farther back but also both eargerly watch their timid friends smiling and bonding over this fact till intermition when Monkey says something that blows their moment)
Well then during the scene with the killings she grasped him tight, as the chandelier falls both couples grasp eachother, Kimmy holding tightly onto Monkey and Crane and Airy both holding equally tight to eachother gleaming.
After the productiont he two laugh, he does not even think about the group but Airy and him are holdin hands smiling he escorts her out as they laugh over somethign. Monkey at this time tries to confront
Alright Hi Again ;) sheepishly smiling...
Well here I go more of my suggestions... AND THESE I'M SUPER Excited about.
First off so you knwo... Just to let you know the Pantom of the Opera Musical movie is awesome I love it, but personally I had seen it like three or four times before that movie came out when i was in Junior High... Here's the thing in the movie the chandelier crashes at the end setting the whole stage on firer while the Prima Dona cries/weeps over her husbands body while the flames consume them both... Unfortunatly though that ending is so dramatic and amazing the theater smoldering mostly to the ground fireman of the day rushign in to save people as Christine and Raloul escape being released by the Phantom... Unfortunatly that's not the original version. Since the musical was made in the 70's if you have not seen a stage production let me help breka it down for you at least differences from the movie, those that wiki may or not say when looking up the facts of it... Well before the intermision the chandelier falls down almost upon the audiance, two actors playing stage crew personal step on the stage acting scard trying to stop it but it runs into them their electricuted lights flicker fireworks explode and theirs a small firer on stage.. Right as the Phantom says "Go..." beckoning to the chandelier once he witnised Raloule singing to Christine 'All I Ask of You' (Proclaiming his love her her, she does the same and he basicly says no longer fear the night hence the beginng 'NO more talk of darkness forget these white eyed fears, I'm here with you besides you to guide you...') the phantom hiding in the winged gargoyl on the roof right above the roof top she ran out on... He cries out how he loves her and she's betrayed him etc after calling her name in the background hearing htem sing "All that the phantom asks of ..." laughing maniacly which is quiet scary and freakishly loud for te audiance brings shivers down your spine "!' He cries and wiht the swish of his cape disapering from the very roof area of the stage witht he swish of his cape, the chandelier falls etc...
Pending the intermission the opening scene is the Masquerade/Masquerade song in which the owners mentions the brand new chandelier, in the movie they give no reason for this line or having to get a new chandelier, the reason is because of the phantom, though the chandelier in the opening is the crashed one, it is suposed ot represent the recreated one for the year later... Which they changed because of the crash incident which alsow was the last time the phantom was ever seen... Just wanted that cleared before the next chapter was contined...
NOW I must get to what I'm really excited about before I run out of room... My full Suggestion... And this one I'm hugely excited about...
~Sugestion~
Well I really like what you did taking the characters with the suggestion I made and letting them take the appearance of humans while able to change back to themselves if so wished...
BUt one thing I came up wiht never thinking of beofre are those two girls being newer characters like Molly to this story in general...
Well I quiet like Arizona (Her nickname just for fun should be Airy/Ary; Air-e is how it would be pronounced) While Kimberly's nickname obvioulsy Kimmy or Kim
Secondly I realy like the girls keep them around... I think Airy should be Oregan wet yet has it's dry desert qualties as well the best of all US in one, at least the wilderness sections.. First state I could think of wtih all sorts of qualities to it... Now she has light brown hair that's medium long feathered in cut starting from mid cheek which shapes her face, wiht light bangs then feather down to her bust bellow bust line in back, lightly tanned skin eyes that sparkle like jewels soft but true sea green eyes only mimics of her sweet kind nature and true beauty both inner and outer (she's the level head and mature figure between her and her friend Kimmy whose more the wild child Airy acts as the adult figure in their friendship often more responsible being whose always their for Kims as she calls her like Kims calls her Airs there bff's that are alot like sisters also she's normal hieght same with her friend but more modest in what she dresses in compared to Kims who likes more wild somwhat fashionista and wild mix but in her own sense is not to wild in dressing and has some modesty about her. While Kimmy should be originally from Texas or Nevada, don't know why probably because of my roomy Kimmy she cries out as one of these states being her original home, though due to my cousin I see her as a sandy blond woman her hair long at least meets to the middle of her back though looks fine and silky moving wiht her and is cut from the bottom of her neck down forming a V shape, with brown rustic eyes brown honey color (which honey eyes are actually quite dark from the charts I looked at of human eyes) but tan skin from her days in the son... More on them in a bit hopefully sooN.
K, so actually Crane and Monkey instead sit with them asking the men or woman who actually have the seats (both girls are sitting sepeartly) if they can exchange seats, they notice the couple and happily ablige. They have a great time with them, infact Kimmy apprehensive and reserved at first, and Monkey isn't quiet sure about her. Though she's a major critic and believer in womans rights, when she asks him something he makes a male chavenous answer she slightly grows angry but instead of telling him acts reserved puckers her lips and leans away from him refusing ot get close, though he does not get this and tries. She also is very self suficient, independent, troublesome, opinionated and assertive to her beliefs and goals in life very different that that in which her soft coy appearance of needing protection and being fragile may make one believe or institute to thought. Yet oldly enough she's free and wild as any child if not is still a child at heart and is a major prankster 'queen of the pranks' Though many of these characteristics will be addressed shortly for more in depth.
Monkey's unsure how to take her sudden agression and attitude infact he can't get it or her off his mind because it baffles him due to the fact that where he's from (in his time) most woman other then those in the palace by her age are matched by matchmakers or fathers to be the housekeepers and take care of the house and children... Their taught to bite thier tongues and most due (realistic history of ancient China and alot of other cultures)
Crane and Ary have a different expression of interest, duringthe parts with the firer and threats the phantom makes she grabs him tight, being a more outgoing ecentric ambitious gal, just as free spirited and lively she glowed like the sun. Infact he's quite timmid being around her for a human she was quiet beautiful and sweet he got to know her a little and it seemed she was just as shy about talking with a guy as he was to a random girl or any girl for that matter. "I'm sorry" she appoligizes blushing while they get her seat "But... i.. I... I don't usually do this... I... I really hate Kims right now you know... She's usually the one to... to well"
"Pick someone at random off the street and set you up."
"Yeah well..." blushing she scratches the back of her head "Sorta, she's my main girl but I don't think she gets what kinda guys I'm in."
"What's taht?"
"THe sweet down to earth but free spirited... I have a pashion for pasifists always have, and has to be out to try new things, I want someone sweat not afraid to speak his mind, show emotions may be shy of them but you know... It... It's sorta funny you know?"
"What" he inquires curiously leaning closer towards her finding a him drawn in by her.
"Well the... The moment you ran into me.. and... And I saw... I saw... Well... Never mind" her cheeks a red as acherry and she pushes her hair behind her ears bitting her lip she seems shier then before "I... I don't know I.. It... It was like I was drawn to you... Call me silly but my stomach like fliped... I mean your... YOUr quiet eye catching, not bad to look at but... But i never let my self close to a guy this soon or off the streets.. but theirs something about you... LIke alien but... but whatever it is I... I find I want to know you more.
"Funny I... I don't know how to say this but when I saw you I felt just as strange I mean it's like my stomach got in a knot, i was afriad I couldn't speak to you or would sound stupid and jumble my words it wouldn't be the first but I... i didn't want to leave your sight or let you disapear like a dream... I... I think I might like to get to know you better."
"Funny I think Kims plan to get me a man is finally working..." She gleamed snuggling into his shoulder. During the production Crane hesitantly wants to grab her hand but she's the one to take action from him going half way then settling on his own leg and acting nervous, she grabs his and smiles snuggling into his chest as they watch the shwo. Laterhe grabs the nerve watching her curiously as Think of Me plays shortly after the begining. He puts his arm around her stretching unsure how to do it, but he gets his arm around her (Monkey is better and does it not as timmid while she just as flirtaciously aggrees tehir farther back but also both eargerly watch their timid friends smiling and bonding over this fact till intermition when Monkey says something that blows their moment)
Well then during the scene with the killings she grasped him tight, as the chandelier falls both couples grasp eachother, Kimmy holding tightly onto Monkey and Crane and Airy both holding equally tight to eachother gleaming.
After the productiont he two laugh, he does not even think about the group but Airy and him are holdin hands smiling he escorts her out as they laugh over somethign. Monkey at this time tries to confront
5/9/2012 c5 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
Hey Girly (sorry my rommie from the fall she got me to start saying this... I think it was part of her East Coast dialect...LOL ;)
First off I don't think I will be able to complete this review by just this one... SO warning. I'm SUPER Glad I did not review on one chapter, because from the looks of it, I may surely need to use that one to finish my train of thoughts.
FUnny you should mention reviewing yesterday, I had the worst streaks of luck plaguing me after I read your story, got super pumped and excited but choose with all the ideas I was excited about and fumming within my brain I'd wait for after work. I had to get ready anyways, and I didn't get back from church till a hour more like two, after you posted, I had to get my break meal ready since I would be closing and the theater would be hectic with that incredible movie Avengers that just came out (if you haven't seen it I'd suggest going may I say harmoniously 'INCREDIBLE' Hey if you want something that has better 3D then Avatar or at least just as good with an amazing story line to boot I'D make the biggest sugestion to go see it in 3D. ;)
Anywhose, I was so excited not being able to contain my excitment all day on what I would say to you, what I would suggest how much I could even say... THEN,I got back from work and my internet was all tweaky, thanks to moms computer which holds are provider, I had to figure everything out reupload all my data/tabs which takes forever and gives you trouble to boot, then I grew tired in my anger and went to bed late...
Woke up same trouble had to go to work for a 8 hour and 30minute shift, ONCE AGAIN the whole time looking forward to what I would tell you and how I would laugh at the streak of bad luck. Got home knowing I'd need to rusht through my homework today praying that the teacher since it was her least favorite chapter would most likely not collect homework the chapter was Violence Against Women and Children, harsh especially since my mother way before my dad when she was my age had something happen wel actually in both areas, so it was personal and made the homework (Later today at the very end of class when I'd thought for once I'd get away with it, to be all this time proven wrong even if she says she hates reading this chapter and going through it or even asking for homework when alot of other chapters she never collects grrr... LOL I could tell that made my co worker whose also a good friend now very miffed she glared at the teacher and we both exchanged sighs of dislike and slight grief,though she's more behind then me partly the fact that she wasn't able to buy the class book till later after the classes start) But the whole thing being personal etc. made it all the more exhausting (after I watched some tv after a later part of the day being stressful) but it turned out to be enough to keep me away from reviewing and in mad sweat... I mean literally I wore a tank and shorts last night to bed, and I live in freakin Washington state, it was a warm day but it got cold and dark in the afternoon so really cold night, thanks to my room being the farthest on our second story house at the very end of the curving hallway my room was like a freakin sanna (ok I know that's spelled wrong... as I like to sometimes say wiht a shrug of the shoulders and innocent smirk 'So sue me' LOL ;) haven't said that in the longest time ever... LOL ;) I know I think I spelled sue wrong to lazy to look it up... GO figure huh...lol) Anyways I managed to convince after having a headach trying to find the definition/answer to the first question, hard time on the next few since I never read the chapter just found often finding the questions to the answers helped for the mid term and helped skim the chapter as well as just get the homework done faster... ALthough I've been often procrastinating the chapter homework till the morning after always trying to stay up late and do it only to become exhausted and more distracted... HUH life... LOL
Anyways now I find I cannot wait anylonger... I switched witht he girl I work and have the class with so I don't have to work tomorrow since she needs the hours, and I need the hours to finish/work/start the essay that's due THursday before class... I knew now was the best if not there being no better time to write a great review as well for my suggestions...
-
~REVIEW~
I really liked this story, the way you used my idea got me very excited I completly loved it... I love how you had Monkey and Crane meet Arizona and Kimberly (that's the name of my escentric ambitious partying and outgoing roomy last year... And one of my cousins of technicly my generation of the family, though I grew up with her sons, she's like one of those older sisters or a young aunt in a way... she grew up wiht my dad anyways.) Even funnier is my Nana (my mothers mother) when she was alive before we brought her up here due to her health, lived for a long time in Arizona so the name just brought some memories of her and made me smile... She died when I was fifteen I think I know it was before my 9th Grade year...
Anyways I loved the whole way you brought Emily out to confront them...I felt like wooping saying 'way to go girl' when Yu-pa kicked Emily's butt... LOL LOved it great job ;)
I also loved the note section, how Oogway actually left them something to explain... So what I'm getting at is instead of going into the Hard Rock Cafe due to Emily they walked the boardwalk that is Time Squard till they ran into the theater that the Phantom of the Opera was playing.
-OH note by the way... I'd like to make a correction on my previous review of places they should visit... I made Pete's Tavern well being named Tavern and saying I sat in the old bar last time upstairs when I was there sound like that's what it is... BUt it's not, well not exactly, you have to do to it's age enter through the bar but you sit in waiting between the family seating and bar which the noice is quiet different... The old bar well I don't think is really used unless to get like bears or soemthing like that or soda for people sitting upstairs... Really I wouldn't be allowed in otherwise I was eighteen at the time of that and the time before I was even younger... Even now beign now twenty I would not be allowed ot sit in a bar... SO I just wanted to make sure I cleared that out and got this out their before I continued I realized my mistake/neglect to add that in and felt honestly stupid for doing so for it made me sound like I'm underage and go in bars... Pft I'm better then that I don't do anything of that sort... I'm 'pure' as many people tell me, well in the sense that I don't go to many party's if I do I'm the one who remains sober, I don't do anything ilegal or stick around if illegal things are being done, I believe in abstenist... Well etc you get the picture, so many girls I met my age or younger at work and school have commented for years on how they applaud what they call 'purity/innocence' I just felt bad at maybe making it sound like I did anything at all illegal... SO this is just a long appolgy for that misrepresentation of one of my favorite all time resteraunts At least favorite as far as Italian, along wiht Bucca Dapepo, Palimino and such...
~Review continued~
Wow I loved the mothers reaction... Cough Cough time for her to call in the hench men "Big guns" as I like to say with a girlish laugh... Just what I've loved to call the tough henchmen or those moles like the ones who sneak and hide, do private eye type stuff of spying taking photos then tell the higherer if they should call someone to take care of things or they do something themselves by orders.
Maybe some kidnapping witht he children could take place... Like the mother wishes to dispose of the children she feels is unclean (kinda like that peacock fello oh what's his face, but differently) I mean in criminology and alot of the drama's and things I watch to learn about the how people reason and such well I learned that some parents try to take control of all aspects and if the children act out against them they go to act out only harsher against this act and have full control of them once more...
Another suggestion is having her higher over the phone calling a mysterious man who sticks tot he shadows and tells him what to do... He sneaks up on Dylan and Yu-pa who went on a date seperate from the others (suggestion would be South Pasific at the Met, I saw it there with one of my bf's in choir... The stories about two couples, ones star crossed the mother desperate for a good man for her daughter brought to the island of accross from the one the base is on that she sells shrunken heads flirts with the navy officers and sells or trades things too. She asks the new guy a major HOTTIE to come to the island mostly only generals are allowed to visit that many men have heard rumors of lovely woman nad the traditions of the tribes.. She was desperate because her land lord or soething of the sort I think it was the land lord of a winery wanted her daughters hand but he was abusive and she knew her marying a officer whose good would stop his authority from doing it.. THe main story is this French guy, who has children that his girl doesn't know about concieved from his wife since diseased who was of African dicent (I don't know if she was also French or American reasons I described such a way) She is conflicted when she finds out since Civil Rights in America had yet to occure in WWII but both men go on a mission and are believed dead... Not to ruin the story but only one comes back sorry to ruin this, but WIki would say the same that she takes care of the French man (once a convict or rebelling) chidlren and he returns at the end turning out ot be alive thanks tot he young man who can't come back for his native love, who also is pregnant with his child.
Alright I'm running out of room so what' I'm excited about saying will come in the next review... To Be CONTINUED LOL
Hey Girly (sorry my rommie from the fall she got me to start saying this... I think it was part of her East Coast dialect...LOL ;)
First off I don't think I will be able to complete this review by just this one... SO warning. I'm SUPER Glad I did not review on one chapter, because from the looks of it, I may surely need to use that one to finish my train of thoughts.
FUnny you should mention reviewing yesterday, I had the worst streaks of luck plaguing me after I read your story, got super pumped and excited but choose with all the ideas I was excited about and fumming within my brain I'd wait for after work. I had to get ready anyways, and I didn't get back from church till a hour more like two, after you posted, I had to get my break meal ready since I would be closing and the theater would be hectic with that incredible movie Avengers that just came out (if you haven't seen it I'd suggest going may I say harmoniously 'INCREDIBLE' Hey if you want something that has better 3D then Avatar or at least just as good with an amazing story line to boot I'D make the biggest sugestion to go see it in 3D. ;)
Anywhose, I was so excited not being able to contain my excitment all day on what I would say to you, what I would suggest how much I could even say... THEN,I got back from work and my internet was all tweaky, thanks to moms computer which holds are provider, I had to figure everything out reupload all my data/tabs which takes forever and gives you trouble to boot, then I grew tired in my anger and went to bed late...
Woke up same trouble had to go to work for a 8 hour and 30minute shift, ONCE AGAIN the whole time looking forward to what I would tell you and how I would laugh at the streak of bad luck. Got home knowing I'd need to rusht through my homework today praying that the teacher since it was her least favorite chapter would most likely not collect homework the chapter was Violence Against Women and Children, harsh especially since my mother way before my dad when she was my age had something happen wel actually in both areas, so it was personal and made the homework (Later today at the very end of class when I'd thought for once I'd get away with it, to be all this time proven wrong even if she says she hates reading this chapter and going through it or even asking for homework when alot of other chapters she never collects grrr... LOL I could tell that made my co worker whose also a good friend now very miffed she glared at the teacher and we both exchanged sighs of dislike and slight grief,though she's more behind then me partly the fact that she wasn't able to buy the class book till later after the classes start) But the whole thing being personal etc. made it all the more exhausting (after I watched some tv after a later part of the day being stressful) but it turned out to be enough to keep me away from reviewing and in mad sweat... I mean literally I wore a tank and shorts last night to bed, and I live in freakin Washington state, it was a warm day but it got cold and dark in the afternoon so really cold night, thanks to my room being the farthest on our second story house at the very end of the curving hallway my room was like a freakin sanna (ok I know that's spelled wrong... as I like to sometimes say wiht a shrug of the shoulders and innocent smirk 'So sue me' LOL ;) haven't said that in the longest time ever... LOL ;) I know I think I spelled sue wrong to lazy to look it up... GO figure huh...lol) Anyways I managed to convince after having a headach trying to find the definition/answer to the first question, hard time on the next few since I never read the chapter just found often finding the questions to the answers helped for the mid term and helped skim the chapter as well as just get the homework done faster... ALthough I've been often procrastinating the chapter homework till the morning after always trying to stay up late and do it only to become exhausted and more distracted... HUH life... LOL
Anyways now I find I cannot wait anylonger... I switched witht he girl I work and have the class with so I don't have to work tomorrow since she needs the hours, and I need the hours to finish/work/start the essay that's due THursday before class... I knew now was the best if not there being no better time to write a great review as well for my suggestions...
-
~REVIEW~
I really liked this story, the way you used my idea got me very excited I completly loved it... I love how you had Monkey and Crane meet Arizona and Kimberly (that's the name of my escentric ambitious partying and outgoing roomy last year... And one of my cousins of technicly my generation of the family, though I grew up with her sons, she's like one of those older sisters or a young aunt in a way... she grew up wiht my dad anyways.) Even funnier is my Nana (my mothers mother) when she was alive before we brought her up here due to her health, lived for a long time in Arizona so the name just brought some memories of her and made me smile... She died when I was fifteen I think I know it was before my 9th Grade year...
Anyways I loved the whole way you brought Emily out to confront them...I felt like wooping saying 'way to go girl' when Yu-pa kicked Emily's butt... LOL LOved it great job ;)
I also loved the note section, how Oogway actually left them something to explain... So what I'm getting at is instead of going into the Hard Rock Cafe due to Emily they walked the boardwalk that is Time Squard till they ran into the theater that the Phantom of the Opera was playing.
-OH note by the way... I'd like to make a correction on my previous review of places they should visit... I made Pete's Tavern well being named Tavern and saying I sat in the old bar last time upstairs when I was there sound like that's what it is... BUt it's not, well not exactly, you have to do to it's age enter through the bar but you sit in waiting between the family seating and bar which the noice is quiet different... The old bar well I don't think is really used unless to get like bears or soemthing like that or soda for people sitting upstairs... Really I wouldn't be allowed in otherwise I was eighteen at the time of that and the time before I was even younger... Even now beign now twenty I would not be allowed ot sit in a bar... SO I just wanted to make sure I cleared that out and got this out their before I continued I realized my mistake/neglect to add that in and felt honestly stupid for doing so for it made me sound like I'm underage and go in bars... Pft I'm better then that I don't do anything of that sort... I'm 'pure' as many people tell me, well in the sense that I don't go to many party's if I do I'm the one who remains sober, I don't do anything ilegal or stick around if illegal things are being done, I believe in abstenist... Well etc you get the picture, so many girls I met my age or younger at work and school have commented for years on how they applaud what they call 'purity/innocence' I just felt bad at maybe making it sound like I did anything at all illegal... SO this is just a long appolgy for that misrepresentation of one of my favorite all time resteraunts At least favorite as far as Italian, along wiht Bucca Dapepo, Palimino and such...
~Review continued~
Wow I loved the mothers reaction... Cough Cough time for her to call in the hench men "Big guns" as I like to say with a girlish laugh... Just what I've loved to call the tough henchmen or those moles like the ones who sneak and hide, do private eye type stuff of spying taking photos then tell the higherer if they should call someone to take care of things or they do something themselves by orders.
Maybe some kidnapping witht he children could take place... Like the mother wishes to dispose of the children she feels is unclean (kinda like that peacock fello oh what's his face, but differently) I mean in criminology and alot of the drama's and things I watch to learn about the how people reason and such well I learned that some parents try to take control of all aspects and if the children act out against them they go to act out only harsher against this act and have full control of them once more...
Another suggestion is having her higher over the phone calling a mysterious man who sticks tot he shadows and tells him what to do... He sneaks up on Dylan and Yu-pa who went on a date seperate from the others (suggestion would be South Pasific at the Met, I saw it there with one of my bf's in choir... The stories about two couples, ones star crossed the mother desperate for a good man for her daughter brought to the island of accross from the one the base is on that she sells shrunken heads flirts with the navy officers and sells or trades things too. She asks the new guy a major HOTTIE to come to the island mostly only generals are allowed to visit that many men have heard rumors of lovely woman nad the traditions of the tribes.. She was desperate because her land lord or soething of the sort I think it was the land lord of a winery wanted her daughters hand but he was abusive and she knew her marying a officer whose good would stop his authority from doing it.. THe main story is this French guy, who has children that his girl doesn't know about concieved from his wife since diseased who was of African dicent (I don't know if she was also French or American reasons I described such a way) She is conflicted when she finds out since Civil Rights in America had yet to occure in WWII but both men go on a mission and are believed dead... Not to ruin the story but only one comes back sorry to ruin this, but WIki would say the same that she takes care of the French man (once a convict or rebelling) chidlren and he returns at the end turning out ot be alive thanks tot he young man who can't come back for his native love, who also is pregnant with his child.
Alright I'm running out of room so what' I'm excited about saying will come in the next review... To Be CONTINUED LOL
4/26/2012 c4 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
Alright First off I'm starting with a suggestiong before I totally forget it...
Alright suggestion...
In a scene coming up have the group go to Grand Central Station, it's the main drag for all the subways to meet in all... It's very famous and old, alot of famous things happened their or around it... Also it's famous in movies for near the clock tower in the dome area couples rushing and meeting eachother then kissing big time at the end of the movies... You know Frenchies and all that stuff... Don't worry I'm not suggesting that though someone can make a comment of it while visiting and the others being so overwhelmed by how grand and artistic it is.. while busy and crowded it can be.
So anyways here's my big suggestion for a scene in it.. Have the group go their and suddenly... cough cough... wait for it,... A FLASH MOB occures ;) lol... Ok question have you scene on Youtube that video 'Historic flashmob in Antwerp train station, do re mi' Under that exact name, that or go to my youtube page 'ColorGuardSweethreat' (Sorry i made my account when I was really sick my Junior year of High School... I've regretted it since then and hate that you can't change your name so far that I know of Unlike FanFiction)
Anyways use that for a major refference, but maybe have as they stand in Grand Central taking in all the sights at awe with it... Well have the mob suddenly start like this one, maybe the same song since this is basicly the one that made flash mobs so famous it's circled the web for many years... (Oh when you watch the video if it says Another best comercials ever.. Or something like that don't worry it's still is the same video... It's confused me a number of times... IT's just whoever put it on the web added it as that)
But anyways that was one huge idea for a Grande Central scene (this all came to me once again when reading your story) ALso I have to make a note my favorite part in that video is the man whose ina buisness suit they close in on him and he suddenly just jumps right in getting the hang of it all... My absolute favorite is the woman with her suit case and jacket putting it down and suddenly jumping in LOL or the cupple just bouncing along.. Just thought it would a major help for the new york scene, the group could be like "What the heck" while Dylan and Sophie smirk saying something like "Oh yeah a flahs mob perfect" their kids lvoe it, maybe Dylan and Sophie pull them in as Molly pulls either Crane or Monkey in... She's gotta pull someone in ya know...
Well then later they go through one of the many coridor/halls in grand central till they come to a large clearing... Young Adults either of college or highschool, in tux's and varrying matching black dresses, some short and sparkly (a jazz group) others long and flowy very beguiling lookign (chamber group) and the others a blue version of the black (WOmans Group) (I'm describing it from a personal experience wiht my Chamber Choir Senior Year) their singing songs some Jazz, some old rock and some classical but are split on either end of a corridor, parents of these young adults and teens obviously are watching taking pictures or video on either corners or watching from somewhere while other mingling groups are listening in or watching... They all have their hari nice men boe ties or regular ties... Girls in heals those with short dresses have black tights... They have varying hair peacies some girls choose headbends others floors, sparkly things etc,... Well you get the gist... Their singing these songs the choir director (well mind was short blond hair woman she was someone short in hieght skinny and not to old or shaby looking) she would be in big strocks conducting us with the movements of her arms... Well the group pauses maybe finds it harmonious and beautiful watch the group a bit before continuing on being frightened by the subways, and not likeing the smells either
-Ok big note... Have you seen Elf? I'm sure you have, alot of people I've known since it came out have... Well you know that scene with the escelator? Well I'm thinking after they get off the subway they have to go up the long tunnel to get to higher ground/Street Level, which in what I saw taking them wiht the choir can be several stories and downa nd many stairs up, some zigzagging up and down till you get their... But how's about during commuting hour theirs a incident with either Al-ho or Yu-pa the kids or the animals getting on teh escalator.. THey hold people up annoying them a buisness man groanign "Hey comeone... Somepeople gotta get to work ya know" with a large Brooklyn accent... Well in teh end it ends up just like Elf the stretched out legs barly keeping themselves up while they are going up the long elevator (in the subways those elevators are super steep and can go on forever you feel like your taking the stairway to heaven... you can even get lost in those tunnels when you finally come out of the dark you really feel like your climing or being taken by the escelators to heaven it's that nutz/crazy...
Also an amazing place.. Time square, is "AMAZING!" Said harmoneously with a choir behind me singing "ah" LOl couldn't resist saying that... But no seriously it's that awesome in person... Last time I was their How To Train Your Dragon (I love that movie by the way) Just hit theaters, and the screans all around would change to showing the dragons and making it so cool as if the movie was playing around you or such making everythign HUGE...
Oh Famous resteraunt that has survived the prohibitions and all sorts of stuff (during prohobition was disguised as a flower shop... I've eaten in the upper level the original bar and such.. It's incredible) Alot of history their, the famous war picture Love after War or was it A Kiss After War (it's one of my all time favorite pictures) It was taken right outside it... The resteraunts name is Pete's Tavern... And Let me tell you Ah Amazing, it's food is incredible, Opera even has her own Red Velvet there personally it's not my favorite too sweet, but everythign else is incredible... MAybe the group can go their... Also funny Idea, Hard Rock Cafe in Time Square, Planet Holywood, and Fox Grill are all funny places to take them because their all loud and just to see how they react to the bursting in your ear rock music while you eat, the sports every which way even bellow your feet tv's, Planet Hollywood I've never been to one Used to be in Seattle but I was a kid or maybe not even born before they moved out... SO You'd have to look that one up on your own to know how it is... I just know it's awesome from what my parents say, and seating is so hard to get in New York, we tried going their but it was like a three hour wait so it's obvioulsy big... Also this would be really funny have them go into a Rain Forest Cafe, I'm sure New York has one...
Now other Atractions.. Broadway obviously, may I sugest Wicked, Les Meserables, South Pacific... Or Always one Broadway Phantom of the Opera... Mmmm number one choice Phantom of the Opera, it blew my socks off when I was like eight, so it's one amazing one, expecially when the chandelier almost lands on the audiance, now is that awesome or what?
Their is also a Ridley's Believe it or not, in Broadway, and right across is this is some Fox or NBS or was it CBS deal that you could tour see Spider Man stuff and all that cool stuff, I've wanted to go for years to both but never got the chance... Oh also on that same block either side of the street can't remember which is the NYC Wax Museume... NOw that would be a funny place for them to go... It has a specific name, named after someone but I'm in a rush gotta get to homework tongight... i don't have time to look it up...
Alright Oh and maybe a performance is scene in Carnagie Hall, I performed thier, the acustics are incredible, they bounce off the walls. That or have them take a tour their.. It's a terrific place and is very historic... Ground Zero is a good place for them to visit... Cause before you even step on the first few blocks or knwo you are too near it,(I got lost my first time almost trying to find it but trust me I felt it when we were near, I don't believe in feeling things like phsycotic deals, but I believe in God, and Jesus, and I'm just saying I don't know if it was them or what, but I realy felt something in the pit of my stomach like despair and stuff blocks before we came upon it... It's a shuttering blistering cold feeling you never forget and is writen upon your mind forever, I still can feel the strange feeling nad my mom felt it too she still remembers it. Lets just say it leaves you speachless.. I can say no one not just us but regular people weren't even talking as they came or were near it, it was one of those eery silences where the world stands still literally... Lets just say I'll never forget it, and maybe it be good fro the group to travel their and experience similar feelings, before even knowing the tragedy that occured there..
Other ideas the Taxi boat tour around the island, the tour buses... OF COURSE Central Park Zoo (I think the group should or could be a little miffed thier)
Bevadeir Castel (Central Park) ANd several other parks or things... I can list more in further chapters and explain further of things that can happen...
Review:
OH MY GOSH, ONce again amazing chapter I loved it... Loved how you took my suggestion, tweeked it ;) glad you did :) and made it your own... I can't wait to see what happens next... I used to much on the suggestion and am running out of spaces for words... WOOPS ;) LOL...
I really loved what you did in this chapter... Sad I feel I can occationally relate to Molly I'm a chater mouth at time, and i hate that part of me sometimes cause you know it annoys people... Well I know when to stop at least while talking one or one.. Phone not so much... At least I don't spend as much time as she does from the sounds of it LOl...
Better get going.. Till next
Alright First off I'm starting with a suggestiong before I totally forget it...
Alright suggestion...
In a scene coming up have the group go to Grand Central Station, it's the main drag for all the subways to meet in all... It's very famous and old, alot of famous things happened their or around it... Also it's famous in movies for near the clock tower in the dome area couples rushing and meeting eachother then kissing big time at the end of the movies... You know Frenchies and all that stuff... Don't worry I'm not suggesting that though someone can make a comment of it while visiting and the others being so overwhelmed by how grand and artistic it is.. while busy and crowded it can be.
So anyways here's my big suggestion for a scene in it.. Have the group go their and suddenly... cough cough... wait for it,... A FLASH MOB occures ;) lol... Ok question have you scene on Youtube that video 'Historic flashmob in Antwerp train station, do re mi' Under that exact name, that or go to my youtube page 'ColorGuardSweethreat' (Sorry i made my account when I was really sick my Junior year of High School... I've regretted it since then and hate that you can't change your name so far that I know of Unlike FanFiction)
Anyways use that for a major refference, but maybe have as they stand in Grand Central taking in all the sights at awe with it... Well have the mob suddenly start like this one, maybe the same song since this is basicly the one that made flash mobs so famous it's circled the web for many years... (Oh when you watch the video if it says Another best comercials ever.. Or something like that don't worry it's still is the same video... It's confused me a number of times... IT's just whoever put it on the web added it as that)
But anyways that was one huge idea for a Grande Central scene (this all came to me once again when reading your story) ALso I have to make a note my favorite part in that video is the man whose ina buisness suit they close in on him and he suddenly just jumps right in getting the hang of it all... My absolute favorite is the woman with her suit case and jacket putting it down and suddenly jumping in LOL or the cupple just bouncing along.. Just thought it would a major help for the new york scene, the group could be like "What the heck" while Dylan and Sophie smirk saying something like "Oh yeah a flahs mob perfect" their kids lvoe it, maybe Dylan and Sophie pull them in as Molly pulls either Crane or Monkey in... She's gotta pull someone in ya know...
Well then later they go through one of the many coridor/halls in grand central till they come to a large clearing... Young Adults either of college or highschool, in tux's and varrying matching black dresses, some short and sparkly (a jazz group) others long and flowy very beguiling lookign (chamber group) and the others a blue version of the black (WOmans Group) (I'm describing it from a personal experience wiht my Chamber Choir Senior Year) their singing songs some Jazz, some old rock and some classical but are split on either end of a corridor, parents of these young adults and teens obviously are watching taking pictures or video on either corners or watching from somewhere while other mingling groups are listening in or watching... They all have their hari nice men boe ties or regular ties... Girls in heals those with short dresses have black tights... They have varying hair peacies some girls choose headbends others floors, sparkly things etc,... Well you get the gist... Their singing these songs the choir director (well mind was short blond hair woman she was someone short in hieght skinny and not to old or shaby looking) she would be in big strocks conducting us with the movements of her arms... Well the group pauses maybe finds it harmonious and beautiful watch the group a bit before continuing on being frightened by the subways, and not likeing the smells either
-Ok big note... Have you seen Elf? I'm sure you have, alot of people I've known since it came out have... Well you know that scene with the escelator? Well I'm thinking after they get off the subway they have to go up the long tunnel to get to higher ground/Street Level, which in what I saw taking them wiht the choir can be several stories and downa nd many stairs up, some zigzagging up and down till you get their... But how's about during commuting hour theirs a incident with either Al-ho or Yu-pa the kids or the animals getting on teh escalator.. THey hold people up annoying them a buisness man groanign "Hey comeone... Somepeople gotta get to work ya know" with a large Brooklyn accent... Well in teh end it ends up just like Elf the stretched out legs barly keeping themselves up while they are going up the long elevator (in the subways those elevators are super steep and can go on forever you feel like your taking the stairway to heaven... you can even get lost in those tunnels when you finally come out of the dark you really feel like your climing or being taken by the escelators to heaven it's that nutz/crazy...
Also an amazing place.. Time square, is "AMAZING!" Said harmoneously with a choir behind me singing "ah" LOl couldn't resist saying that... But no seriously it's that awesome in person... Last time I was their How To Train Your Dragon (I love that movie by the way) Just hit theaters, and the screans all around would change to showing the dragons and making it so cool as if the movie was playing around you or such making everythign HUGE...
Oh Famous resteraunt that has survived the prohibitions and all sorts of stuff (during prohobition was disguised as a flower shop... I've eaten in the upper level the original bar and such.. It's incredible) Alot of history their, the famous war picture Love after War or was it A Kiss After War (it's one of my all time favorite pictures) It was taken right outside it... The resteraunts name is Pete's Tavern... And Let me tell you Ah Amazing, it's food is incredible, Opera even has her own Red Velvet there personally it's not my favorite too sweet, but everythign else is incredible... MAybe the group can go their... Also funny Idea, Hard Rock Cafe in Time Square, Planet Holywood, and Fox Grill are all funny places to take them because their all loud and just to see how they react to the bursting in your ear rock music while you eat, the sports every which way even bellow your feet tv's, Planet Hollywood I've never been to one Used to be in Seattle but I was a kid or maybe not even born before they moved out... SO You'd have to look that one up on your own to know how it is... I just know it's awesome from what my parents say, and seating is so hard to get in New York, we tried going their but it was like a three hour wait so it's obvioulsy big... Also this would be really funny have them go into a Rain Forest Cafe, I'm sure New York has one...
Now other Atractions.. Broadway obviously, may I sugest Wicked, Les Meserables, South Pacific... Or Always one Broadway Phantom of the Opera... Mmmm number one choice Phantom of the Opera, it blew my socks off when I was like eight, so it's one amazing one, expecially when the chandelier almost lands on the audiance, now is that awesome or what?
Their is also a Ridley's Believe it or not, in Broadway, and right across is this is some Fox or NBS or was it CBS deal that you could tour see Spider Man stuff and all that cool stuff, I've wanted to go for years to both but never got the chance... Oh also on that same block either side of the street can't remember which is the NYC Wax Museume... NOw that would be a funny place for them to go... It has a specific name, named after someone but I'm in a rush gotta get to homework tongight... i don't have time to look it up...
Alright Oh and maybe a performance is scene in Carnagie Hall, I performed thier, the acustics are incredible, they bounce off the walls. That or have them take a tour their.. It's a terrific place and is very historic... Ground Zero is a good place for them to visit... Cause before you even step on the first few blocks or knwo you are too near it,(I got lost my first time almost trying to find it but trust me I felt it when we were near, I don't believe in feeling things like phsycotic deals, but I believe in God, and Jesus, and I'm just saying I don't know if it was them or what, but I realy felt something in the pit of my stomach like despair and stuff blocks before we came upon it... It's a shuttering blistering cold feeling you never forget and is writen upon your mind forever, I still can feel the strange feeling nad my mom felt it too she still remembers it. Lets just say it leaves you speachless.. I can say no one not just us but regular people weren't even talking as they came or were near it, it was one of those eery silences where the world stands still literally... Lets just say I'll never forget it, and maybe it be good fro the group to travel their and experience similar feelings, before even knowing the tragedy that occured there..
Other ideas the Taxi boat tour around the island, the tour buses... OF COURSE Central Park Zoo (I think the group should or could be a little miffed thier)
Bevadeir Castel (Central Park) ANd several other parks or things... I can list more in further chapters and explain further of things that can happen...
Review:
OH MY GOSH, ONce again amazing chapter I loved it... Loved how you took my suggestion, tweeked it ;) glad you did :) and made it your own... I can't wait to see what happens next... I used to much on the suggestion and am running out of spaces for words... WOOPS ;) LOL...
I really loved what you did in this chapter... Sad I feel I can occationally relate to Molly I'm a chater mouth at time, and i hate that part of me sometimes cause you know it annoys people... Well I know when to stop at least while talking one or one.. Phone not so much... At least I don't spend as much time as she does from the sounds of it LOl...
Better get going.. Till next
4/20/2012 c3 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
First off emmydisney17, I'm super sorry I was so late on reviewing... I finally have two exsecutive days off of work and I'm taking the time to review on stories I really wanted to... I'm glad you updated, but feel super bad I didn't update in the last story...
Ok so I had an idea I was going to suggest originally, but I'm not holding it back...
First off Review then suggestion...
Alright I really liked this, love the teenager phone thing... Man Sophie and Dylan know alot of people... I'm guessing she just looks like a teenager since she was in class with them, it means she has to be in her twenties with them having children etc..
I really liked the end part with the mother and ex-faince, it did confuse me at first, I figured who they were but forgot which was which, Thankfully you talked about the wedding and it finally clicked in my mind :) thank you... I would have been embaresed if I hit review and didn't see that, cause I propbably wouldn't think about looking back till I started the review... LOL I probably would but still I'm glad you talked of that it made it easy to figure who was who... Man does she sound like one tough woman... Oh things the mother can be like... Well the mayor lady in Once Upon a Time just as suggestion really fits her character in all so I was just wanting to sugest... I forget other tough mothers like her I'd want to suggest I'd say the woman in the new show Missing, but I don't know... With how tough she is I think she's a secret mob bosses daugther or part of a gang... Maybe the gang killed her husband who was a undercover cop, she was CSI gone rogue, and later found out a Mr. & Mrs. Smith thing happens, except he's killed or was killed horificly by her and her gang...
Well back to review, LOVE THE TEENAGER AND THE CELLPHONE... Lol I loved the scene with them jumping up the roof... Awesome.. New idea to put that on Good Morning America, or Live with Kelly have them talk about it, that would be funny...
Well I guess I'm just spurting out ideas more...
Hmmm... Well I'm glad when you asked me to help you out by giving you ideas... I've actaully been working on my own story Oc returning home with a few members...
Well lets just say a few interesting things happen they end up in a city not New York I'm more used to my side the West... But I'm familar with New York... Well I'm making a suggestion... Since it sounds as if its night again... Well my idea is the Five Po and Shifu sleep... When they wake up as bright as day they all feel different. When they sit up they realize their no longer themselves anymore... Or animals but humans (don't worry clothed in clothing like they wore) But the girl comes in drinking some juice box my suggestion a Caprison, coffee, or a Cascade Ice/soda something caned or bottled like Sobe... She screams frightening them waking the rest up... Po falls in teh water, and Monkey laughs before noticing himself and stops noticing Po's a large brown haired man while he has hands and is baffled by this awestruck... (Lets jsut say Oogways magic, had some late working stuff that didn't want them being hunted by otehrs...
Though Idea is they can switch back if they feel nesisary to save those they love or such... But I think it would be funny and interesting for this..
You can have a funny moment where Molly or the others take them into a mall, Tigress Viper and Yu-pa are baffled confused hwo to put certian things on and the other girls laugh realizing how rediculous they looked putting things on backwards or so. They sheepishly smile shrugging their shoulders etc...
I just sugest this so many humans aren't frightened by them like Dylan and Sophies friens... I suggest the boys go to a sporting goods store, the human boys ask the kung fu warriors unaware of what htey are if what sport they liked. Their unsure, take them to a gyM...
Just for fun theirs a very flexible girl their and very soft one who came out of a mirrored room. Monkey and Crane can't help but suddenly talk to them. When the others wonder where they are, it's Mantis (Goes by Manny as the others call them Dylans quick thinking when introdusing him...) He goes to pull them away while Po jokes "Let them have their fun... Their not that good wiht talkign to girls back home" he jousts but finds it funny that they would flirt with humans nad not girls back home... (The image just poped in my head, I like those movies like Sorcers Aprentise where hte sheepish men suddenly get the nerve... If you've seen certian romantic comedies I really can't put a name to, well their alot of funny scenes like this)
ACtually funnier, Po and Mantis and Dylan wager that they will bomb, but when the girl with (dark blond) laughs in her dance where looking to the amber eyes she says "Yeah I'd like that"
He actually leads her to the juice bar right on the corner of the first floor. Mantis and Dylans jaws drop while Po smirks "Hey guys Pay up"
They are baffled, but more baffled when the woman that Monkey was slightly talking to laughed but had a long hard conversation with.
Later that day both are very happy and cheary... Smiling like their on top of the world. WHile the girls all in new clothes looka t them. Sophie looks to her brother that looks sorta angry about somethign "Hey what's up with those two."
"Those two found dates.." well something like that, the words I wanted to say aren't exactly comeing to me...
Now final note...
Alright so Yu-Pa and Al-ho are on the news, well that is placed on Youtube... NOw in future chapter, a man old and frail is drinking his coffee hard black with some creeme as his young wife still with a hop in her step walks placing the cofee in the man wiht the hard struck eyes view, he looks regretful hurt in pain. As if he had suffered from lack of sleep for many moons (many nights)
His hands are shaky as his daibiets had struck him hard... But he was suddenly seing something on the Philidelphia news (randomly chose the city)
His wife put her glasses on clearing her through, sitting at her work desk she after all was only sixty, only five years younger then her husband. She is looking at what her niece had sent her, when her glass fell to the gound.
"Aunt Martha are you ok what happened' came a young quiet handsome adult. He ran to the woman who was shaking stutering frightened.
Her husband turned curious "j...J...John" (Well I know you named the grandfather somethign... I'm just calling him John for now...)
He gets up wishing to comfort his wife... "Mmmm...Mmmm...MMm.. My baby..."
He looked suddenly seeing the young woman, wiht eyes and face just like their daughter, and the boy with just as much of a resemblance if not more.
He gasped feeling like he to was about to colaps eand almost faint like his deer poor wife.
"The twins" he gasps.
Ok so that's my suggestion eventaully they go searching for them.. My suggestion is by the end the twins are reunited with their grandparents and family members if they have any uncles nad close cousins...
Well That's all for now... Thanks for updating... I'm really loving the story so far it's amazing... If you ever need any help just message me and I'll be sure to help you the best I can... :)
Thanks so much once again... Till next time TA TA...
Sincerely Blurr Girl... Blurr Girl Outie... OH before I go. I just wanted to let you know, that in a couple of areas you spelled Dylan as Doyle unless Doyle was another character that I did not catch... I just wanted to make sure I let you know before I said by...
Well have a wonderful night... ANd Amazing weekened... I hope it's sunny where you are... Cause spring should be sent on the weekeneds spending in the amazing warm sun... :) HOpe you get too...
Well talk to you soon, hope to hear from you soon... Farwell and thanks... ALways Blurr Girl :) ;D ;) :D
First off emmydisney17, I'm super sorry I was so late on reviewing... I finally have two exsecutive days off of work and I'm taking the time to review on stories I really wanted to... I'm glad you updated, but feel super bad I didn't update in the last story...
Ok so I had an idea I was going to suggest originally, but I'm not holding it back...
First off Review then suggestion...
Alright I really liked this, love the teenager phone thing... Man Sophie and Dylan know alot of people... I'm guessing she just looks like a teenager since she was in class with them, it means she has to be in her twenties with them having children etc..
I really liked the end part with the mother and ex-faince, it did confuse me at first, I figured who they were but forgot which was which, Thankfully you talked about the wedding and it finally clicked in my mind :) thank you... I would have been embaresed if I hit review and didn't see that, cause I propbably wouldn't think about looking back till I started the review... LOL I probably would but still I'm glad you talked of that it made it easy to figure who was who... Man does she sound like one tough woman... Oh things the mother can be like... Well the mayor lady in Once Upon a Time just as suggestion really fits her character in all so I was just wanting to sugest... I forget other tough mothers like her I'd want to suggest I'd say the woman in the new show Missing, but I don't know... With how tough she is I think she's a secret mob bosses daugther or part of a gang... Maybe the gang killed her husband who was a undercover cop, she was CSI gone rogue, and later found out a Mr. & Mrs. Smith thing happens, except he's killed or was killed horificly by her and her gang...
Well back to review, LOVE THE TEENAGER AND THE CELLPHONE... Lol I loved the scene with them jumping up the roof... Awesome.. New idea to put that on Good Morning America, or Live with Kelly have them talk about it, that would be funny...
Well I guess I'm just spurting out ideas more...
Hmmm... Well I'm glad when you asked me to help you out by giving you ideas... I've actaully been working on my own story Oc returning home with a few members...
Well lets just say a few interesting things happen they end up in a city not New York I'm more used to my side the West... But I'm familar with New York... Well I'm making a suggestion... Since it sounds as if its night again... Well my idea is the Five Po and Shifu sleep... When they wake up as bright as day they all feel different. When they sit up they realize their no longer themselves anymore... Or animals but humans (don't worry clothed in clothing like they wore) But the girl comes in drinking some juice box my suggestion a Caprison, coffee, or a Cascade Ice/soda something caned or bottled like Sobe... She screams frightening them waking the rest up... Po falls in teh water, and Monkey laughs before noticing himself and stops noticing Po's a large brown haired man while he has hands and is baffled by this awestruck... (Lets jsut say Oogways magic, had some late working stuff that didn't want them being hunted by otehrs...
Though Idea is they can switch back if they feel nesisary to save those they love or such... But I think it would be funny and interesting for this..
You can have a funny moment where Molly or the others take them into a mall, Tigress Viper and Yu-pa are baffled confused hwo to put certian things on and the other girls laugh realizing how rediculous they looked putting things on backwards or so. They sheepishly smile shrugging their shoulders etc...
I just sugest this so many humans aren't frightened by them like Dylan and Sophies friens... I suggest the boys go to a sporting goods store, the human boys ask the kung fu warriors unaware of what htey are if what sport they liked. Their unsure, take them to a gyM...
Just for fun theirs a very flexible girl their and very soft one who came out of a mirrored room. Monkey and Crane can't help but suddenly talk to them. When the others wonder where they are, it's Mantis (Goes by Manny as the others call them Dylans quick thinking when introdusing him...) He goes to pull them away while Po jokes "Let them have their fun... Their not that good wiht talkign to girls back home" he jousts but finds it funny that they would flirt with humans nad not girls back home... (The image just poped in my head, I like those movies like Sorcers Aprentise where hte sheepish men suddenly get the nerve... If you've seen certian romantic comedies I really can't put a name to, well their alot of funny scenes like this)
ACtually funnier, Po and Mantis and Dylan wager that they will bomb, but when the girl with (dark blond) laughs in her dance where looking to the amber eyes she says "Yeah I'd like that"
He actually leads her to the juice bar right on the corner of the first floor. Mantis and Dylans jaws drop while Po smirks "Hey guys Pay up"
They are baffled, but more baffled when the woman that Monkey was slightly talking to laughed but had a long hard conversation with.
Later that day both are very happy and cheary... Smiling like their on top of the world. WHile the girls all in new clothes looka t them. Sophie looks to her brother that looks sorta angry about somethign "Hey what's up with those two."
"Those two found dates.." well something like that, the words I wanted to say aren't exactly comeing to me...
Now final note...
Alright so Yu-Pa and Al-ho are on the news, well that is placed on Youtube... NOw in future chapter, a man old and frail is drinking his coffee hard black with some creeme as his young wife still with a hop in her step walks placing the cofee in the man wiht the hard struck eyes view, he looks regretful hurt in pain. As if he had suffered from lack of sleep for many moons (many nights)
His hands are shaky as his daibiets had struck him hard... But he was suddenly seing something on the Philidelphia news (randomly chose the city)
His wife put her glasses on clearing her through, sitting at her work desk she after all was only sixty, only five years younger then her husband. She is looking at what her niece had sent her, when her glass fell to the gound.
"Aunt Martha are you ok what happened' came a young quiet handsome adult. He ran to the woman who was shaking stutering frightened.
Her husband turned curious "j...J...John" (Well I know you named the grandfather somethign... I'm just calling him John for now...)
He gets up wishing to comfort his wife... "Mmmm...Mmmm...MMm.. My baby..."
He looked suddenly seeing the young woman, wiht eyes and face just like their daughter, and the boy with just as much of a resemblance if not more.
He gasped feeling like he to was about to colaps eand almost faint like his deer poor wife.
"The twins" he gasps.
Ok so that's my suggestion eventaully they go searching for them.. My suggestion is by the end the twins are reunited with their grandparents and family members if they have any uncles nad close cousins...
Well That's all for now... Thanks for updating... I'm really loving the story so far it's amazing... If you ever need any help just message me and I'll be sure to help you the best I can... :)
Thanks so much once again... Till next time TA TA...
Sincerely Blurr Girl... Blurr Girl Outie... OH before I go. I just wanted to let you know, that in a couple of areas you spelled Dylan as Doyle unless Doyle was another character that I did not catch... I just wanted to make sure I let you know before I said by...
Well have a wonderful night... ANd Amazing weekened... I hope it's sunny where you are... Cause spring should be sent on the weekeneds spending in the amazing warm sun... :) HOpe you get too...
Well talk to you soon, hope to hear from you soon... Farwell and thanks... ALways Blurr Girl :) ;D ;) :D
4/4/2012 c1 ColorGuardSweetHeartHottieFury
"Yes... Yes I definantly and totally except your writing propisitional offer :)"
First off, I wanted to appoligize for taking so long. For some reason, and I don't know why but I thought you posted this story Friday... Hmmm funny... man yesterday, no wait the 1st of April that was Sunday... Wow is work messing up my mental callender or what? (LOL) ;)... Plus what I am calling yesterday it's currently 12:31 so I'll say Monday to be proper to timeframe... But wow what I was originally going to say was badly off... "Man do I feel sheepish" (blushing horribly)... Anyways back on subject, I had work, and I had one of my classes at school (I'm only taking one Criminology 215) earlier today (well technically yesterday again it's after 12 today) And that was taking up much of my time since I've been working from 12 or 9 or 8:30... Sunday I was supposed to close, but they over booked everyone for the next two weeks so whoopie, and iwht me still getting over my whatever I have I think its a virus, my voice is horse (which I didn't have before seeing the doc so looks like a new doc visit after a check up and appointment finding I had the virus in the last 5 days I'll be having yet another one... Huh (rolling eyes) very fun) I still feel bad the girl who I was working with had worked already most of the day normally the longest we get is 9 hours or so but she worked more then ten, wiht a hour inbetween shifts since she took she was covering this boy (whose "fine!" by the way, that I happened to graduate and attend High School years with) shift... I felt so bad for her we made plans that she would be the one to have a small break while I stayed to cover the closing shift since the theater wasn't all that busy Sunday (weirdly with Spring Break for grade schoolers and High Schoolers in all we all thought it would be busier.. hmm funny how life goes sometime)... Wow (sorry I made you suffer through this mess) But yeah with those busy hours I was unable to reply back... Well I was also watching the battery on my phone, the last time I tried replying a message during break I found I ended up leaving myself with 10 minutes of my 35 min break to eat and I hadn't eaten all day 'whoops' I'm trying not to do that again (espeicaly since I miscalculated the time I needed to be done as five minutes earlier realizing it soon after... For somereason every time my break is at ?:45 (45 whatever) I think +1?:15 is the time I need to be done when it's +1?:20... (by the way I what I meant by '?' is whatever hour is being refered to sorta a fill in the blank... when I said '+1?:...' I hoped to represent the next clock hour where the minutes in the hour represent what they normaly are... Guess I was really creative with that one, decided to have a spur of the moment in creatism)...
Anyways I should return to focus ont he story... I really didn't mean for that explenation to be so dang long in my head I had it short, sweet and to the point... But I guess my mind had other ideas I had not clue about... LOL ;)
-
Now back to the story... I will love to be your co-author... I do accept this, and already as soon as I recieved your message had my mind bursting with new ideas, that I can explain latter.
"FIRST!" (I will need some help on your part so we can do this)
-I have some things you will need to do first so we can work one on one together with this...
Alright...
I don't know if you have used the Beta area before or the DocX... But this is a little thing I picked up early on when I began on FanFiction within my first three or four months (Last year exactly April/late March... Maybe May)
Alright, I'm sure you've heard or even seen the Beta Reader button on FanFiction menu of your account... That is specificly for people like me who co author or are willing to go out and read someones story, improve the grammar and text etc, or make certian notes... Many of my early friends on here shared with me about it and really opened my eyes on how great a thing it is (though I've truely only used beta's for one story I may eventaully for others to keep me on top of updating quicker then prolonging my stories... But I can tell you about that later... Back on focus...
I'm already listed as a betta reader... But I've known that you don't have the Private Messaging setting, and I'm frankly no techy, only on my first full year of using FanFiction going on my second... So I can't tell you how to make that setting usuable by only a certian person to message back and forth... Even if I ever found out how or you even can (which from the looks of it I don't think you can anyways... Besides, I have looked hard in the settings not the help forums however I get lost in those...) However the DocX is made spesificly for things like this I believe so someone who has private messaging turned off does not have to turn it on or even use it, just so stories won't get leaked, it's very protective and safe so no worries of things going anywhere like emails can leak even with guards up everywhere. This is built spesificly against such...
ALright now I'll explain DocX...
1) Alright so now you go just bellow the Beta Reader (where one may become the Beta create the Beta ID and activate it so they can help other FanFiction users/authors) And you will see a tab that says "DOCX" (it appears in this form 'DocX') Click that and it will bring up Info/Guide, Inbox, Outbox, Connections...
2) You want to click 'Connections'
-Alright now right above DocX Active Connections and DocX Pending Connectiongs, is the area in which you technicly search for beta's...
- The TOP MOST search column is the one I believe last year I used when someone offered to be my Beta so graciously for a story I had to go to add... Now this search column has the choices 'By' UserID, PenName, Profile URL, or if a author had their email available then their email is the forth option...
Alright so that's how you find the beta or co author that can help you one on one and talke with on the story...
Alright sending the Doc is different.. Or in this case private messages back and forth... Here is where like a story you have your message, and or story saved into microsoft word, then you go to publish BUT instead of SAVING IT as a document YOU SAVE AS A "DOCX"...
Instead of me saying it I've copied and pasted their info here... Hopefully I can't get introuble for this since this is sharing for helpful advise...
How to use DocX
◦Establish mutual "connections". To send or receive a file, both you and the other party must establish a trust connection with each other. A "connection" is not a physical or computer connection but a term to describe the "trust" an user gives to another user. Similar to a handshake, both users must establish connections before site allows any documents to be transferred between the two parties.
◦Use the regular "Document Manager" to upload your document.
◦Visit DocX's Outbox to send documents, to check delivery status, and to cancel delivery of documents.
◦Visit DocX's Inbox to view/download received documents.
Recommendations:
◦When transferring beta docs, upload to the Document Manager and select "DocX" format. DocX format will preserve text color and highlighting which is critical to denote edited content.
◦To speed up the two way "connection", you should first add the intended user to your connections. Then using email, site messaging service or site forums to notify the user to add you to their connections list as well.
Notes
◦You can only have 10 items in the outbox at any one time.
◦Each delivery is only "active" for 7 days. Regardless of delivery status, the site will purge items in the outbox older than 7 days.
◦Deleting an item from the outbox when the recipient has not retrieved the item effectively cancels the delivery: the document is no longer available to the recipient.
-
Alright me again... So that's how a DocX/ Beta/ Co Author to Author communication can work privately on FanFiction..
And just to get this out of the clear, just cause it feels the right thing to say if your worried about messaging people and such... "Don't worry... I'm not some creep or stalker..." I could change my picture daily of different pictures from my computer of myself... But I won't... I just felt it best to get it all out of the clear, cause I know my mom would freak when I was in high school if I had found FanFiction and did certian things, though when I first showed it to her, and told ehr I did my research before joining or reading any stories.. She understood and already got a gist to trust it... She still even now I think is a bit iffy over this sight... Though that's mothers for you... It feels weird being back at home now (since I switched to communitee college and am working) And doing stories it was so easy at school then again parents keep track of your life even when your 20... LOL ;)
Oh and thank you so much for your kind Happy Birthday wish... Oh and I loved when I got my belated birthday gift :) :D ;)... LOL (giggling happily, giddly)... I really did I'm so so so excited your continuing... And I just loved the first chapter it was absolutly amazing... ;) I can't wait to see... Or well in this case join you in the journy of seeing where this journey will take them and goes... It will be an amazing wild ride... Oh and don't worry I'm big on PG/G ratings, I just right T and R because alot are based on hard things people who around me I grew up with or was raised by (obviously parents) went through that inspired and made me feel idolize how strong they became and how they conqured certian things. Only through stories... But the characters aren't them and stories are made up from ideas
Anyways I can't wait to continue on this journey, And hope to hear from you soon. I've gotta get going I've spent over an hour writing this, then again my internet was down for a few moments in the later process. Well have a wonderful night and good
"Yes... Yes I definantly and totally except your writing propisitional offer :)"
First off, I wanted to appoligize for taking so long. For some reason, and I don't know why but I thought you posted this story Friday... Hmmm funny... man yesterday, no wait the 1st of April that was Sunday... Wow is work messing up my mental callender or what? (LOL) ;)... Plus what I am calling yesterday it's currently 12:31 so I'll say Monday to be proper to timeframe... But wow what I was originally going to say was badly off... "Man do I feel sheepish" (blushing horribly)... Anyways back on subject, I had work, and I had one of my classes at school (I'm only taking one Criminology 215) earlier today (well technically yesterday again it's after 12 today) And that was taking up much of my time since I've been working from 12 or 9 or 8:30... Sunday I was supposed to close, but they over booked everyone for the next two weeks so whoopie, and iwht me still getting over my whatever I have I think its a virus, my voice is horse (which I didn't have before seeing the doc so looks like a new doc visit after a check up and appointment finding I had the virus in the last 5 days I'll be having yet another one... Huh (rolling eyes) very fun) I still feel bad the girl who I was working with had worked already most of the day normally the longest we get is 9 hours or so but she worked more then ten, wiht a hour inbetween shifts since she took she was covering this boy (whose "fine!" by the way, that I happened to graduate and attend High School years with) shift... I felt so bad for her we made plans that she would be the one to have a small break while I stayed to cover the closing shift since the theater wasn't all that busy Sunday (weirdly with Spring Break for grade schoolers and High Schoolers in all we all thought it would be busier.. hmm funny how life goes sometime)... Wow (sorry I made you suffer through this mess) But yeah with those busy hours I was unable to reply back... Well I was also watching the battery on my phone, the last time I tried replying a message during break I found I ended up leaving myself with 10 minutes of my 35 min break to eat and I hadn't eaten all day 'whoops' I'm trying not to do that again (espeicaly since I miscalculated the time I needed to be done as five minutes earlier realizing it soon after... For somereason every time my break is at ?:45 (45 whatever) I think +1?:15 is the time I need to be done when it's +1?:20... (by the way I what I meant by '?' is whatever hour is being refered to sorta a fill in the blank... when I said '+1?:...' I hoped to represent the next clock hour where the minutes in the hour represent what they normaly are... Guess I was really creative with that one, decided to have a spur of the moment in creatism)...
Anyways I should return to focus ont he story... I really didn't mean for that explenation to be so dang long in my head I had it short, sweet and to the point... But I guess my mind had other ideas I had not clue about... LOL ;)
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Now back to the story... I will love to be your co-author... I do accept this, and already as soon as I recieved your message had my mind bursting with new ideas, that I can explain latter.
"FIRST!" (I will need some help on your part so we can do this)
-I have some things you will need to do first so we can work one on one together with this...
Alright...
I don't know if you have used the Beta area before or the DocX... But this is a little thing I picked up early on when I began on FanFiction within my first three or four months (Last year exactly April/late March... Maybe May)
Alright, I'm sure you've heard or even seen the Beta Reader button on FanFiction menu of your account... That is specificly for people like me who co author or are willing to go out and read someones story, improve the grammar and text etc, or make certian notes... Many of my early friends on here shared with me about it and really opened my eyes on how great a thing it is (though I've truely only used beta's for one story I may eventaully for others to keep me on top of updating quicker then prolonging my stories... But I can tell you about that later... Back on focus...
I'm already listed as a betta reader... But I've known that you don't have the Private Messaging setting, and I'm frankly no techy, only on my first full year of using FanFiction going on my second... So I can't tell you how to make that setting usuable by only a certian person to message back and forth... Even if I ever found out how or you even can (which from the looks of it I don't think you can anyways... Besides, I have looked hard in the settings not the help forums however I get lost in those...) However the DocX is made spesificly for things like this I believe so someone who has private messaging turned off does not have to turn it on or even use it, just so stories won't get leaked, it's very protective and safe so no worries of things going anywhere like emails can leak even with guards up everywhere. This is built spesificly against such...
ALright now I'll explain DocX...
1) Alright so now you go just bellow the Beta Reader (where one may become the Beta create the Beta ID and activate it so they can help other FanFiction users/authors) And you will see a tab that says "DOCX" (it appears in this form 'DocX') Click that and it will bring up Info/Guide, Inbox, Outbox, Connections...
2) You want to click 'Connections'
-Alright now right above DocX Active Connections and DocX Pending Connectiongs, is the area in which you technicly search for beta's...
- The TOP MOST search column is the one I believe last year I used when someone offered to be my Beta so graciously for a story I had to go to add... Now this search column has the choices 'By' UserID, PenName, Profile URL, or if a author had their email available then their email is the forth option...
Alright so that's how you find the beta or co author that can help you one on one and talke with on the story...
Alright sending the Doc is different.. Or in this case private messages back and forth... Here is where like a story you have your message, and or story saved into microsoft word, then you go to publish BUT instead of SAVING IT as a document YOU SAVE AS A "DOCX"...
Instead of me saying it I've copied and pasted their info here... Hopefully I can't get introuble for this since this is sharing for helpful advise...
How to use DocX
◦Establish mutual "connections". To send or receive a file, both you and the other party must establish a trust connection with each other. A "connection" is not a physical or computer connection but a term to describe the "trust" an user gives to another user. Similar to a handshake, both users must establish connections before site allows any documents to be transferred between the two parties.
◦Use the regular "Document Manager" to upload your document.
◦Visit DocX's Outbox to send documents, to check delivery status, and to cancel delivery of documents.
◦Visit DocX's Inbox to view/download received documents.
Recommendations:
◦When transferring beta docs, upload to the Document Manager and select "DocX" format. DocX format will preserve text color and highlighting which is critical to denote edited content.
◦To speed up the two way "connection", you should first add the intended user to your connections. Then using email, site messaging service or site forums to notify the user to add you to their connections list as well.
Notes
◦You can only have 10 items in the outbox at any one time.
◦Each delivery is only "active" for 7 days. Regardless of delivery status, the site will purge items in the outbox older than 7 days.
◦Deleting an item from the outbox when the recipient has not retrieved the item effectively cancels the delivery: the document is no longer available to the recipient.
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Alright me again... So that's how a DocX/ Beta/ Co Author to Author communication can work privately on FanFiction..
And just to get this out of the clear, just cause it feels the right thing to say if your worried about messaging people and such... "Don't worry... I'm not some creep or stalker..." I could change my picture daily of different pictures from my computer of myself... But I won't... I just felt it best to get it all out of the clear, cause I know my mom would freak when I was in high school if I had found FanFiction and did certian things, though when I first showed it to her, and told ehr I did my research before joining or reading any stories.. She understood and already got a gist to trust it... She still even now I think is a bit iffy over this sight... Though that's mothers for you... It feels weird being back at home now (since I switched to communitee college and am working) And doing stories it was so easy at school then again parents keep track of your life even when your 20... LOL ;)
Oh and thank you so much for your kind Happy Birthday wish... Oh and I loved when I got my belated birthday gift :) :D ;)... LOL (giggling happily, giddly)... I really did I'm so so so excited your continuing... And I just loved the first chapter it was absolutly amazing... ;) I can't wait to see... Or well in this case join you in the journy of seeing where this journey will take them and goes... It will be an amazing wild ride... Oh and don't worry I'm big on PG/G ratings, I just right T and R because alot are based on hard things people who around me I grew up with or was raised by (obviously parents) went through that inspired and made me feel idolize how strong they became and how they conqured certian things. Only through stories... But the characters aren't them and stories are made up from ideas
Anyways I can't wait to continue on this journey, And hope to hear from you soon. I've gotta get going I've spent over an hour writing this, then again my internet was down for a few moments in the later process. Well have a wonderful night and good
4/2/2012 c1 37DisneyGal1234
Awesome start on this story Emmy!
Oh and btw, I already posted the cast list for the story you gave me
37DisneyGal1234Awesome start on this story Emmy!
Oh and btw, I already posted the cast list for the story you gave me
4/2/2012 c1 36emmydisney17
I hope you guys review every time you get the chance guys! I'll be waiting!
36emmydisney17I hope you guys review every time you get the chance guys! I'll be waiting!