for Beautiful12/24/2012 c1 Natasha
Great story overall! The last sentence cracked me up!
Great story overall! The last sentence cracked me up!
8/16/2012 c1 
20Obiwan456
Aw..very sweet story about little Obi-Wan...loved the end with his dreaming.
He sounds so cute in this..and poor Obi-Wan could attract trouble even when he was very little...signs of things to come. :)
20Obiwan456Aw..very sweet story about little Obi-Wan...loved the end with his dreaming.
He sounds so cute in this..and poor Obi-Wan could attract trouble even when he was very little...signs of things to come. :)
4/19/2012 c1 2Stop Looking At My Name
Awww, little Obi-Wan is adorable!
I really love your story, and I think you wrote from young Obi-Wan's point of view very well.
2Stop Looking At My NameAwww, little Obi-Wan is adorable!
I really love your story, and I think you wrote from young Obi-Wan's point of view very well.
4/14/2012 c1 6Viviane Renard
OH WOW. Obi-Wan! The entire time, I thought that this story was about Anakin...seeing them in their Master-Padawan roles so often, it becomes easy to forget that Obi-Wan was a handful as a child too. This story does a wonderful job of reminding us about how similar those two really were as children.
Looking back, I'm going to say your lack of names was deliberate, and very cleverly done-I never even thought twice about the lack of name for our main character. I hope my reaction was the one you were hoping to elicit, because if so, you did a great job, haha.
Also, I really like this conversation:
"They …look like stars," he whispered.
"Mmmm hmmm." Deeper. He yawned, went limp.
"With wings." Deeper yet, quieter, more open.. She drew the Force around him, soothing and healing, a golden blanket.
"I…wanted to hold it," he mumbled, barely audible. "You can't hold a star either, can you?"
"No," she told him softly. "You must enjoy them without possessing them."
It's an elegant way to talk about one of the hardest parts of the Jedi code. I'm glad Yoda took ahold of that and decided to make it into an impromptu lesson for our young learner.
6Viviane RenardOH WOW. Obi-Wan! The entire time, I thought that this story was about Anakin...seeing them in their Master-Padawan roles so often, it becomes easy to forget that Obi-Wan was a handful as a child too. This story does a wonderful job of reminding us about how similar those two really were as children.
Looking back, I'm going to say your lack of names was deliberate, and very cleverly done-I never even thought twice about the lack of name for our main character. I hope my reaction was the one you were hoping to elicit, because if so, you did a great job, haha.
Also, I really like this conversation:
"They …look like stars," he whispered.
"Mmmm hmmm." Deeper. He yawned, went limp.
"With wings." Deeper yet, quieter, more open.. She drew the Force around him, soothing and healing, a golden blanket.
"I…wanted to hold it," he mumbled, barely audible. "You can't hold a star either, can you?"
"No," she told him softly. "You must enjoy them without possessing them."
It's an elegant way to talk about one of the hardest parts of the Jedi code. I'm glad Yoda took ahold of that and decided to make it into an impromptu lesson for our young learner.
4/12/2012 c1 43faustBZ
You write such a beautiful Obi-Wan. No matter what age, from your pen he's always adorable.
43faustBZYou write such a beautiful Obi-Wan. No matter what age, from your pen he's always adorable.
4/12/2012 c1 Chades
The title of this story= appropriate.
I wish I had just a tiny piece of your talent,I´d be delighted!
Gorgeous work,nice plot,flawlessly executed. (I always wonder how you always manage to get a line or two in that make me smile...the little imp. :D)
The title of this story= appropriate.
I wish I had just a tiny piece of your talent,I´d be delighted!
Gorgeous work,nice plot,flawlessly executed. (I always wonder how you always manage to get a line or two in that make me smile...the little imp. :D)
4/11/2012 c1 3Jeune Circe
Hi! I just passed by to see if there was anything new involving Obi Wan and Qui Gon and I found this :)
Very sweet, very innocent Obi Wan but still little rascal! Trying a mind trick on Master! He must have been trouble when he was a child and growing :) But so much fun! What bright mind, and what ability at such a young age =D So like Obi Wan and still :) an innocent child.
I like this one very much, specially the part were he tried a mind trick with the healer hahaha he really doesn't like healers =D
Please, do write more! =D
Ohhh maybe this is not the right part to ask for this :) but if y
3Jeune CirceHi! I just passed by to see if there was anything new involving Obi Wan and Qui Gon and I found this :)
Very sweet, very innocent Obi Wan but still little rascal! Trying a mind trick on Master! He must have been trouble when he was a child and growing :) But so much fun! What bright mind, and what ability at such a young age =D So like Obi Wan and still :) an innocent child.
I like this one very much, specially the part were he tried a mind trick with the healer hahaha he really doesn't like healers =D
Please, do write more! =D
Ohhh maybe this is not the right part to ask for this :) but if y
4/11/2012 c1 3Irene Djo
Oh, RB.
This made me so happy after a long day.
*
He watched them flutter and dance and felt that he could stay here forever, just watching them. They were better than dust motes in a sunbeam, although he loved those too. He snugged his body down flat against the roof support beam, gripping his thighs around the cool metal, pressing his belly and ribs to the curving upper surface. Falling would be bad – his stomach was trying to complain about it, flipping round and round in an annoying manner. But his high perch here was strong, and he was strong, and the Force was his ally. That is what all the masters said. So it must be true, and he should not listen to his belly's nervous flutterings.
gah. This insight into young Obi-Wan's psyche is adorable. "he was strong, and the Force was his ally. That is what all the masters said. So it must be true."
flawless.
*
The healer squatted down until she was nearly on eye level with the youngling, lekku just brushing the smooth floor behind her. Tear streaks and fresh tears trailed down the boy's face, but he was not crying aloud or screaming. Reaching through the Force, she felt his stoic determination. He did, however, take a cautious step backward.
"I don't need a healer," he announced holding her gaze and taking another experimental step backwards, as though plotting escape. The tall Twi'Lek frowned, in consternation, reaching for him with one blue hand. He skidded backward, just out of reach.
again. I die. I can't-
too cute. Even at a young lil' baby age he hates healers. a;lskdfja;lksdjf presh.
Don't know why I'mf reaking out. just too much-
AAH LOVE.
*
"You're in trouble," Ky hissed at him. "That was very, very naughty. You deserved what you got."
He trotted along next to Ky because he didn't have a choice, and tried to hold back the tears that spattered down onto his grimy tunic. He hadn't meant to be naughty, and he wasn't sure even now what he had done wrong, but the condemnation made the throbbing in his arm worse, and made his heart ache along with it.
"Come on," Ky muttered, and walked even faster.
GAH. My heart just twisted.
*
"Master Pertha brought phlogista moths here, into the Temple?"
Let's be real. From what we saw in The Field Trip, if we can say one thing about Master Pertha, it's that he lives in a state of zoological bliss.
Maybe that's an unfair assessment. oh well. that's what i've tagged him as.
*
He was so delighted he forgot all about the game of hide and seek, about the other children, about Master Pertha and the others below. There was only the wheeling Force, and the beauty of it.
I loved this phrasing. "the wheeling Force, and the beauty of it."
you did a great job of showing us in a really subjective way.
*
The little scamp had attempted a mind trick on her! What impudence. She was not having any of that nonsense.
;ALKSJDF;LKAJSDF;LKJASD;LFJKA LITERALLY JUST GIGGLED OUT LOUD.
YES. Of course.
*
"Because a lesson this should be to you, youngling," the ancient white-haired Jedi snorted. "Possession and attachment lead to suffering. Admire the phlogista moth you may….seek to grasp it, you must not."
He listened with utmost seriousness. Was that why the moth had stung him? Because he had wished to keep it for himself, even a tiny bit?
dang, Yoda. Well played.
*
"A bold one, he is. Strong in the Force. Great things I expect from that one in the future….But for now," Master Yoda grunted, heaving a sigh of resignation, "A great deal of trouble is that boy."
You could say that again.
Loved it. This lil' short was balm for my achy, tired heart. Well done.
Also, I re-read your Writer's Block piece while on a sanity break at work...and literally lost it laughing out loud.
In all arenas of your writing: well done, RB. Well done.
3Irene DjoOh, RB.
This made me so happy after a long day.
*
He watched them flutter and dance and felt that he could stay here forever, just watching them. They were better than dust motes in a sunbeam, although he loved those too. He snugged his body down flat against the roof support beam, gripping his thighs around the cool metal, pressing his belly and ribs to the curving upper surface. Falling would be bad – his stomach was trying to complain about it, flipping round and round in an annoying manner. But his high perch here was strong, and he was strong, and the Force was his ally. That is what all the masters said. So it must be true, and he should not listen to his belly's nervous flutterings.
gah. This insight into young Obi-Wan's psyche is adorable. "he was strong, and the Force was his ally. That is what all the masters said. So it must be true."
flawless.
*
The healer squatted down until she was nearly on eye level with the youngling, lekku just brushing the smooth floor behind her. Tear streaks and fresh tears trailed down the boy's face, but he was not crying aloud or screaming. Reaching through the Force, she felt his stoic determination. He did, however, take a cautious step backward.
"I don't need a healer," he announced holding her gaze and taking another experimental step backwards, as though plotting escape. The tall Twi'Lek frowned, in consternation, reaching for him with one blue hand. He skidded backward, just out of reach.
again. I die. I can't-
too cute. Even at a young lil' baby age he hates healers. a;lskdfja;lksdjf presh.
Don't know why I'mf reaking out. just too much-
AAH LOVE.
*
"You're in trouble," Ky hissed at him. "That was very, very naughty. You deserved what you got."
He trotted along next to Ky because he didn't have a choice, and tried to hold back the tears that spattered down onto his grimy tunic. He hadn't meant to be naughty, and he wasn't sure even now what he had done wrong, but the condemnation made the throbbing in his arm worse, and made his heart ache along with it.
"Come on," Ky muttered, and walked even faster.
GAH. My heart just twisted.
*
"Master Pertha brought phlogista moths here, into the Temple?"
Let's be real. From what we saw in The Field Trip, if we can say one thing about Master Pertha, it's that he lives in a state of zoological bliss.
Maybe that's an unfair assessment. oh well. that's what i've tagged him as.
*
He was so delighted he forgot all about the game of hide and seek, about the other children, about Master Pertha and the others below. There was only the wheeling Force, and the beauty of it.
I loved this phrasing. "the wheeling Force, and the beauty of it."
you did a great job of showing us in a really subjective way.
*
The little scamp had attempted a mind trick on her! What impudence. She was not having any of that nonsense.
;ALKSJDF;LKAJSDF;LKJASD;LFJKA LITERALLY JUST GIGGLED OUT LOUD.
YES. Of course.
*
"Because a lesson this should be to you, youngling," the ancient white-haired Jedi snorted. "Possession and attachment lead to suffering. Admire the phlogista moth you may….seek to grasp it, you must not."
He listened with utmost seriousness. Was that why the moth had stung him? Because he had wished to keep it for himself, even a tiny bit?
dang, Yoda. Well played.
*
"A bold one, he is. Strong in the Force. Great things I expect from that one in the future….But for now," Master Yoda grunted, heaving a sigh of resignation, "A great deal of trouble is that boy."
You could say that again.
Loved it. This lil' short was balm for my achy, tired heart. Well done.
Also, I re-read your Writer's Block piece while on a sanity break at work...and literally lost it laughing out loud.
In all arenas of your writing: well done, RB. Well done.
4/11/2012 c1 22LadySaxophone
Oh, what a little sweetheart! Trust Obi Wan to get blood poisoning in order to learn a lesson though.
I liked your creation of the phlogista moths. I'd probably have been intrigued that they glowed too!
"He watched the crèche masters, saw them nod and wave him away, encouraging him to hide and disappear with his friends. So….really, he was obeying, wasn't he?"-clever already. I liked the appearance of Master Yoda at the end of the story too, I was wondering if he'd show up. I really enjoyed this little oneshot! Thanks for posting!
22LadySaxophoneOh, what a little sweetheart! Trust Obi Wan to get blood poisoning in order to learn a lesson though.
I liked your creation of the phlogista moths. I'd probably have been intrigued that they glowed too!
"He watched the crèche masters, saw them nod and wave him away, encouraging him to hide and disappear with his friends. So….really, he was obeying, wasn't he?"-clever already. I liked the appearance of Master Yoda at the end of the story too, I was wondering if he'd show up. I really enjoyed this little oneshot! Thanks for posting!
4/11/2012 c1 2Ahsoka Grayson
One word. Beautiful.
I luv this story. You did such a great job on it. :D
2Ahsoka GraysonOne word. Beautiful.
I luv this story. You did such a great job on it. :D
4/11/2012 c1 42Valairy Scot
Good thing our Obi-Wan was so young - trying to mindtrick Vokara Che like that! Probably had her half-wrapped his fingers.
Great description of (especially a young) Obi-Wan: The boy frowned again – despite his round face and softly dimpled chin, he was capable of a disconcertingly ferocious scowl...
42Valairy ScotGood thing our Obi-Wan was so young - trying to mindtrick Vokara Che like that! Probably had her half-wrapped his fingers.
Great description of (especially a young) Obi-Wan: The boy frowned again – despite his round face and softly dimpled chin, he was capable of a disconcertingly ferocious scowl...
4/11/2012 c1 charie01
Oh wow! That was fantastic! Loved the part where he tried to mind trick the healer. Lol. Even at such a young age he had these great abilities he wasn't completely aware of yet. Great job portraying young Obi. Thanks for writing:)
Oh wow! That was fantastic! Loved the part where he tried to mind trick the healer. Lol. Even at such a young age he had these great abilities he wasn't completely aware of yet. Great job portraying young Obi. Thanks for writing:)