for A Death Knight's Story4/20/2012 c1 
18White Phantom
Interesting. You use detail well and I'm curious to see what will happen next.
One thing I think could improve this story a bit would be a bit more showing and less telling. Like, if instead of grazing over the fight the main character had with her(his?) friend, instead you did a flashback or something so that the reader could see it.
Just a thought. The story was quite interesting as it is.
18White PhantomInteresting. You use detail well and I'm curious to see what will happen next.
One thing I think could improve this story a bit would be a bit more showing and less telling. Like, if instead of grazing over the fight the main character had with her(his?) friend, instead you did a flashback or something so that the reader could see it.
Just a thought. The story was quite interesting as it is.