for She is Mine9/20/2012 c13 
8Kirei
Hey there! I just finished your story, and it was really good! I loved the plot, and the way you used quotations from the movie :D James was really bad, and I think it is good that Ariel finished him off. You described her feelings toward this action very well, and I can connect to her in a kind of way. I love the character development, especially of her. Eric seemed at some points a little TOO jealous, but that is not important... It didn't make me enjoy this story less, I just wanted to mention it ;) Apart from that it was great! Thx for sharing!
8KireiHey there! I just finished your story, and it was really good! I loved the plot, and the way you used quotations from the movie :D James was really bad, and I think it is good that Ariel finished him off. You described her feelings toward this action very well, and I can connect to her in a kind of way. I love the character development, especially of her. Eric seemed at some points a little TOO jealous, but that is not important... It didn't make me enjoy this story less, I just wanted to mention it ;) Apart from that it was great! Thx for sharing!
9/16/2012 c12 Dena
Can I say so far I love the fact you had her kill him? I love Disney I really do but...can we remember that Ariel did a lot herself in it too? And it seemed so fitting she took that step of independence to do so. The teens might not get it but I definitely appreciate it.
Can I say so far I love the fact you had her kill him? I love Disney I really do but...can we remember that Ariel did a lot herself in it too? And it seemed so fitting she took that step of independence to do so. The teens might not get it but I definitely appreciate it.
8/5/2012 c11 Witchy Nike
Whoa. Ariel killing someone? I don't know whether I'm shocked or happy for her. I think a mix of both. She always seemed so innocent...but I guess having to put up with that monster, James, all your life would harden you a bit.
Good job, although there were quite a few spelling and grammatical errors.
Nike
Whoa. Ariel killing someone? I don't know whether I'm shocked or happy for her. I think a mix of both. She always seemed so innocent...but I guess having to put up with that monster, James, all your life would harden you a bit.
Good job, although there were quite a few spelling and grammatical errors.
Nike
7/30/2012 c4 Witchy Nike
Aww please don't make Eric a jerk to everyone...that would ruin my image of him. :(
Cute little chapter, though!
Aww please don't make Eric a jerk to everyone...that would ruin my image of him. :(
Cute little chapter, though!
7/29/2012 c2 Witchy Nike
Hmmm...I kinda like their introduction! Very interesting! I'm anxious to see how this all plays out!
Can't wait to read more!
Nike
Hmmm...I kinda like their introduction! Very interesting! I'm anxious to see how this all plays out!
Can't wait to read more!
Nike
6/27/2012 c1 Witchy Nike
Oooo this seems like it'll be interesting! Just to put my vote out ther: I hope Eric wins! Haha but I honestly can't see Ariel ending up with a jerk like that...no way.
But, anways, I will look forward to reading more when I have time. Can't wait! Oh, and good job with the first chapter. Not bad...
Nike
Oooo this seems like it'll be interesting! Just to put my vote out ther: I hope Eric wins! Haha but I honestly can't see Ariel ending up with a jerk like that...no way.
But, anways, I will look forward to reading more when I have time. Can't wait! Oh, and good job with the first chapter. Not bad...
Nike
6/16/2012 c13 LandofMidnightRain
This was a cute fanfic. I liked the twist of how merfolk can turn into humans.
This was a cute fanfic. I liked the twist of how merfolk can turn into humans.
6/8/2012 c13 2jerry533482
IMO this was WAY too short. While that in of itself isn't inherently a bad thing, usually unless it's handled perfectly it turns out bad. I felt the story moved along too quickly, and as a result much of it didn't have enough time to sink in.
I also felt personally that while the violence kept with the preview, I think it was a bit overboard. Maybe if it was longer, the violence could have added to the story's depth and complexity, but instead it felt rushed and more of an outline than a final draft.
Also I felt alot of the lines reused from the movie but in different contexts for the most part was good, but perhaps if they were changed a bit or lengthened (again with the length) they would have had more of an emotional impact.
I didn't dislike everything about this story though. I liked the idea of being able to turn into a mermaid by the dawn (I didn't remember this about James until the story mentioned it and I was like holy crap that's actually a bit scary lol, I kinda prefer the whole needing a spell as insurance though), as well as Eric's reaction to Ariel being a mermaid. I also thought Brynn was a good OC (although the rushing weakened her impact). And when I read the part about Ariel stabbing James it actually didn't bug me that much (I wanted Eric to go apeshit lol), and how Ariel reflected on why she did it, and that it was out of necessity and her and her loved ones' safety.
Again if it was a bit longer I think this would have been a much better story. The description holds ALOT of potential; it sounds like a 400-page adult novel.
2jerry533482IMO this was WAY too short. While that in of itself isn't inherently a bad thing, usually unless it's handled perfectly it turns out bad. I felt the story moved along too quickly, and as a result much of it didn't have enough time to sink in.
I also felt personally that while the violence kept with the preview, I think it was a bit overboard. Maybe if it was longer, the violence could have added to the story's depth and complexity, but instead it felt rushed and more of an outline than a final draft.
Also I felt alot of the lines reused from the movie but in different contexts for the most part was good, but perhaps if they were changed a bit or lengthened (again with the length) they would have had more of an emotional impact.
I didn't dislike everything about this story though. I liked the idea of being able to turn into a mermaid by the dawn (I didn't remember this about James until the story mentioned it and I was like holy crap that's actually a bit scary lol, I kinda prefer the whole needing a spell as insurance though), as well as Eric's reaction to Ariel being a mermaid. I also thought Brynn was a good OC (although the rushing weakened her impact). And when I read the part about Ariel stabbing James it actually didn't bug me that much (I wanted Eric to go apeshit lol), and how Ariel reflected on why she did it, and that it was out of necessity and her and her loved ones' safety.
Again if it was a bit longer I think this would have been a much better story. The description holds ALOT of potential; it sounds like a 400-page adult novel.
6/7/2012 c13 4pinkbrat08
Is this the end, or do you intend to write more, I really think you should! :)
4pinkbrat08Is this the end, or do you intend to write more, I really think you should! :)
6/5/2012 c13 1norisclub
aww i really like the way this ended thank you for writing it it was really good i hope that you will keep writing and as always here is your offical mustache of approval :{D
1norisclubaww i really like the way this ended thank you for writing it it was really good i hope that you will keep writing and as always here is your offical mustache of approval :{D
5/30/2012 c11 4pinkbrat08
This chapter was pretty good, but aren't the other mer-people going to wonder where James is? Just wondering...are you going to keep up with this story still?
4pinkbrat08This chapter was pretty good, but aren't the other mer-people going to wonder where James is? Just wondering...are you going to keep up with this story still?