for Tales of a Cobalt Vixen5/5 c1 Dragizma
Not to push it, Kat, but...
I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER, ITS SO GOOD.
With both you and Cpt. Fox not updating, I've got NOTHING to do other than eat pizza rolls and cocoa puffs. Think of it this way: Every second the next chapter isn't there is another calorie that wont be used.
It's a great story, and you're a great author. Don't back out on me now!
Not to push it, Kat, but...
I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER, ITS SO GOOD.
With both you and Cpt. Fox not updating, I've got NOTHING to do other than eat pizza rolls and cocoa puffs. Think of it this way: Every second the next chapter isn't there is another calorie that wont be used.
It's a great story, and you're a great author. Don't back out on me now!
4/18 c16 
1Storteller 2013
WOW! Whitefur was right you ARE good really! SO what does happen next? I really can't wait for the next bit keep it up. and I'd like to see a little of what happens between Falco and Divya I really like her a lot. So far...I think that the story it's self..is one of the best I've ever read so far! Love it Love you you have got a talent for writing I spotted a typo in this chapter but i'm not much better about that, so I won't nit pick.
Anyway keep up the good work hope to hear from ya soon
Kindest regards
Storyteller 2013
1Storteller 2013WOW! Whitefur was right you ARE good really! SO what does happen next? I really can't wait for the next bit keep it up. and I'd like to see a little of what happens between Falco and Divya I really like her a lot. So far...I think that the story it's self..is one of the best I've ever read so far! Love it Love you you have got a talent for writing I spotted a typo in this chapter but i'm not much better about that, so I won't nit pick.
Anyway keep up the good work hope to hear from ya soon
Kindest regards
Storyteller 2013
4/14 c6 Clifftothemax
Oh man, drunk Krystal is funny Krystal.
But this situation is perfect for highlighting Fox's nervousness. ESPECIALLY with Krystal's drunkenness making her very forward and blunt towards Fox. I have to admit, I really do admire how you've portrayed Fox here. In that he refuses to show even the slightest hint of affection (i.e. "I care about plenty of people") in what seems to be some kind of fear that he would be taking advantage of her if he did, even though she pretty much outright stated she has feelings for him, and knows he feels the same way, he still won't take that risk. It feels... very Fox.
It's definitely an interesting way to progress their relationship and set up some tension and further connection with each other.
Oh man, drunk Krystal is funny Krystal.
But this situation is perfect for highlighting Fox's nervousness. ESPECIALLY with Krystal's drunkenness making her very forward and blunt towards Fox. I have to admit, I really do admire how you've portrayed Fox here. In that he refuses to show even the slightest hint of affection (i.e. "I care about plenty of people") in what seems to be some kind of fear that he would be taking advantage of her if he did, even though she pretty much outright stated she has feelings for him, and knows he feels the same way, he still won't take that risk. It feels... very Fox.
It's definitely an interesting way to progress their relationship and set up some tension and further connection with each other.
4/14 c5 Clifftothemax
I giggled like a schoolgirl at Krystal's memory of Fox giving her the card. It's like he's worried he's coming on too strongly by giving it to her, yet doesn't want to seem like he's being forced into it.
Silly Fox and his emotions.
And here we have the OCs. Now depending on how they're handled, OCs can either make or break a story. But these ones of yours? They definitely seem like they have a lot more thought into them than your average OCs. Divya in particular. She seems very imaginative. Now, dragons do exist in the DP/StarFox canon, but not quite as average people on the street, but that said, she is a nice and interesting addition to the story. Her design, golden scales and wings with feathers, makes for a very interesting visual, and certainly sounds beautiful (and heck, going by your artwork of her on DA, she is).
And Lux, the burly bartender who can be the most charming guy in the world, then punch your lights out if you mistreat someone he knows? Yah, I like Lux.
It's gonna be nice to see what happens with these characters as they stick around.
I giggled like a schoolgirl at Krystal's memory of Fox giving her the card. It's like he's worried he's coming on too strongly by giving it to her, yet doesn't want to seem like he's being forced into it.
Silly Fox and his emotions.
And here we have the OCs. Now depending on how they're handled, OCs can either make or break a story. But these ones of yours? They definitely seem like they have a lot more thought into them than your average OCs. Divya in particular. She seems very imaginative. Now, dragons do exist in the DP/StarFox canon, but not quite as average people on the street, but that said, she is a nice and interesting addition to the story. Her design, golden scales and wings with feathers, makes for a very interesting visual, and certainly sounds beautiful (and heck, going by your artwork of her on DA, she is).
And Lux, the burly bartender who can be the most charming guy in the world, then punch your lights out if you mistreat someone he knows? Yah, I like Lux.
It's gonna be nice to see what happens with these characters as they stick around.
4/14 c4 Clifftothemax
OK, I really did like the flashback words from her father. Those were really a nice touch. Just wanted to get that straight out of the way.
Now in most situations like this, I would be worried about Krystal learning things too quickly. You can present her as a strong female character, but there is such a thing as "too strong" that applies to all genders. Thankfully, I don't feel this is the case. You have her starting out with her staff, a weapon she's naturally going to be good with, but when she actually picks up a blaster, she doesn't instantly master it and go "pow! pow! pow!" to every available target. She takes her time with it, studies the weapon, and then spends more time waiting before discharging off a single shot. I like that. It feels way more believable than the other alternative.
And I do like the dialogue from Fox about her picking a weapon. At first it could be seen as him having doubts about her, but then those doubts are instantly washed away by Krystal noting his weapon is most likely custom-made for him, and that he's not patronising her by deliberately giving her the "small gun".
I have to admit, my mind did unintentionally wander into naughty areas when Krystal said she hit a target Fox carries with him always (because what does a male always have on him? lololol), so I guess that means I'm not so good at riddles either, since the actual answer is much more clever (and less dirty heh). It was probably Krystal keeping her body very close to Fox and apparently flirting once again with him that did it, but still, bad me!
Good work. A fairly simple chapter, but still a good one.
OK, I really did like the flashback words from her father. Those were really a nice touch. Just wanted to get that straight out of the way.
Now in most situations like this, I would be worried about Krystal learning things too quickly. You can present her as a strong female character, but there is such a thing as "too strong" that applies to all genders. Thankfully, I don't feel this is the case. You have her starting out with her staff, a weapon she's naturally going to be good with, but when she actually picks up a blaster, she doesn't instantly master it and go "pow! pow! pow!" to every available target. She takes her time with it, studies the weapon, and then spends more time waiting before discharging off a single shot. I like that. It feels way more believable than the other alternative.
And I do like the dialogue from Fox about her picking a weapon. At first it could be seen as him having doubts about her, but then those doubts are instantly washed away by Krystal noting his weapon is most likely custom-made for him, and that he's not patronising her by deliberately giving her the "small gun".
I have to admit, my mind did unintentionally wander into naughty areas when Krystal said she hit a target Fox carries with him always (because what does a male always have on him? lololol), so I guess that means I'm not so good at riddles either, since the actual answer is much more clever (and less dirty heh). It was probably Krystal keeping her body very close to Fox and apparently flirting once again with him that did it, but still, bad me!
Good work. A fairly simple chapter, but still a good one.
4/12 c3 Clifftothemax
"He reminds me of him".
Ohhh, now that is interesting. I'm very curious as to who Falco reminds her of from back home.
And it is funny to see that even though he's not at all interested in Krystal in "that way", he is still very much a guy. That's kinda how I imagine Falco would operate, even around Katt. But showing him off to be the lovable rogue sort is plenty good too.
I do really like that even though Fox is still nervous and struggling over Krystal, he immediately has a near jealous reaction when he sees her with Falco and wearing his jacket.
And I like how Krystal is openly challenging Fox here as well. It's like she's fully aware that she could have done more during Adventures and is now more than ready to prove it.
More chapter review coming up!
"He reminds me of him".
Ohhh, now that is interesting. I'm very curious as to who Falco reminds her of from back home.
And it is funny to see that even though he's not at all interested in Krystal in "that way", he is still very much a guy. That's kinda how I imagine Falco would operate, even around Katt. But showing him off to be the lovable rogue sort is plenty good too.
I do really like that even though Fox is still nervous and struggling over Krystal, he immediately has a near jealous reaction when he sees her with Falco and wearing his jacket.
And I like how Krystal is openly challenging Fox here as well. It's like she's fully aware that she could have done more during Adventures and is now more than ready to prove it.
More chapter review coming up!
4/12 c2 Clifftothemax
OK, in this one, we've got Peppy breaking Fox out of his thoughts about Krystal just like in Adventures. Which may have been unintentional, but it's still something I like. And Fox, well, feels very much in-character. I genuinely do believe that although he blatantly likes her, he would keep his distance just in case she got the wrong idea. I mean heck, look what happens when Krystal gets the wrong idea in the games. COMMAND happens that's what! And well, even though Krystal is obviously more than taken with Fox, I still do like the idea that she might be worried that maybe she's an intruder into their life.
And I totally love how you're presenting Falco as a "bro" to Fox here. His attempt to lend assistance to Krystal also seems like he's both making up for lost time after a four-year absence from the group, as well as maybe trying to give her more of a reason to stay with the team.
OK, in this one, we've got Peppy breaking Fox out of his thoughts about Krystal just like in Adventures. Which may have been unintentional, but it's still something I like. And Fox, well, feels very much in-character. I genuinely do believe that although he blatantly likes her, he would keep his distance just in case she got the wrong idea. I mean heck, look what happens when Krystal gets the wrong idea in the games. COMMAND happens that's what! And well, even though Krystal is obviously more than taken with Fox, I still do like the idea that she might be worried that maybe she's an intruder into their life.
And I totally love how you're presenting Falco as a "bro" to Fox here. His attempt to lend assistance to Krystal also seems like he's both making up for lost time after a four-year absence from the group, as well as maybe trying to give her more of a reason to stay with the team.
4/12 c1 Clifftothemax
OK, to start off with properly giving my review to this thing, your style of writing is perfectly fine, so you're more than good to go there.
Now then, I do like Fox's nervousness still being present. It hasn't been too long since he's actually met Krystal, and of course, if he's still somewhat bashful around her a year later in Assault, it make all the more sense. But actually putting Fox into, in what other circumstances would make, a very intimate situation (alone, in the room of the girl he likes, with her, on her bed, and she's asking him to stay) is actually a great touch since it highlights it all the more. But I do actually like how you're addressing his team-mate's teasing of his attraction to her by having him apologise for it, since it does feel like something Fox would do.
Although that said, I am curious as to what the story you have for Krystal is. Because the way I imagined it, I don't assume she'd have travelled or been to very many places in Lylat inbetween Cerinia's destruction and arriving on Sauria, and Krystal is still a young woman of 19 during Adventures, so the fact that she's still heard far worse is certainly interesting.
I also like the little bit about her monitoring her health ever since getting out of her entrapment. Because it's a good point to make. We don't know exactly how long she was in that thing, be it days or weeks, or what it did to her body, and absorbing all of those Krazoa sure looked painful in the game (especially given Fox's panicked reaction).
And I actually really, really like the addition of Fox tripping over his words and his tail swishing in response to her, because that is EXACTLY what happens in the games (seriously, watch the Assault mission briefing where Krystal flirts with him about how they get to go on a mission together, awkward wording and tail swish fully present). That's not just a neat little reaction to personify the characters, that's CANON. So good job on that.
I am curious as to what was going to happen when Krystal leaned in, causing Fox to decide he needed to leave. Was she just being friendly, or was she trying to kiss him? She did refer to him as her "hero" after all. And in the original ending to the game, they apparently were supposed to kiss each other (her condition for joining the team).
The description of the room as essentially, simple but comfy is also pretty much how I imagined the Great Fox to be, even in the state of disrepair it was in during Adventures. For Krystal as well, she hasn't exactly had the greatest accommodations lately, so it makes sense she would appreciate it, no matter how small the gesture.
Anyway, I do like how you're writing this, and will continue reviewing.
OK, to start off with properly giving my review to this thing, your style of writing is perfectly fine, so you're more than good to go there.
Now then, I do like Fox's nervousness still being present. It hasn't been too long since he's actually met Krystal, and of course, if he's still somewhat bashful around her a year later in Assault, it make all the more sense. But actually putting Fox into, in what other circumstances would make, a very intimate situation (alone, in the room of the girl he likes, with her, on her bed, and she's asking him to stay) is actually a great touch since it highlights it all the more. But I do actually like how you're addressing his team-mate's teasing of his attraction to her by having him apologise for it, since it does feel like something Fox would do.
Although that said, I am curious as to what the story you have for Krystal is. Because the way I imagined it, I don't assume she'd have travelled or been to very many places in Lylat inbetween Cerinia's destruction and arriving on Sauria, and Krystal is still a young woman of 19 during Adventures, so the fact that she's still heard far worse is certainly interesting.
I also like the little bit about her monitoring her health ever since getting out of her entrapment. Because it's a good point to make. We don't know exactly how long she was in that thing, be it days or weeks, or what it did to her body, and absorbing all of those Krazoa sure looked painful in the game (especially given Fox's panicked reaction).
And I actually really, really like the addition of Fox tripping over his words and his tail swishing in response to her, because that is EXACTLY what happens in the games (seriously, watch the Assault mission briefing where Krystal flirts with him about how they get to go on a mission together, awkward wording and tail swish fully present). That's not just a neat little reaction to personify the characters, that's CANON. So good job on that.
I am curious as to what was going to happen when Krystal leaned in, causing Fox to decide he needed to leave. Was she just being friendly, or was she trying to kiss him? She did refer to him as her "hero" after all. And in the original ending to the game, they apparently were supposed to kiss each other (her condition for joining the team).
The description of the room as essentially, simple but comfy is also pretty much how I imagined the Great Fox to be, even in the state of disrepair it was in during Adventures. For Krystal as well, she hasn't exactly had the greatest accommodations lately, so it makes sense she would appreciate it, no matter how small the gesture.
Anyway, I do like how you're writing this, and will continue reviewing.
3/27 c16 3Xxstar-hit96
Wow, Fox gets the girl. This WILL be interesting. :) you should continue from Krystal's perspective, after she closes the door. You know, shed a bit more light on what she's feeling here too. great job on this story I can see it going a long way. Keep up the good, no, Great work can't wait until your next update, hopefully soon.
3Xxstar-hit96Wow, Fox gets the girl. This WILL be interesting. :) you should continue from Krystal's perspective, after she closes the door. You know, shed a bit more light on what she's feeling here too. great job on this story I can see it going a long way. Keep up the good, no, Great work can't wait until your next update, hopefully soon.
3/22 c16 17Emile The Watcher
Oh, my...This story is amazing so I see you haven't updated it since December, you should fix that, like soon. As well as your other stories. They area all amazingly done. Especially the emotional bits. I enjoyed reading them all today and felt, well saddened that they weren't done yet ha ha.
Anyway on to actually story review stuff, I liked Krystals reveal of her powers to Fox, and I'm excited to see how that plays out in the next chapter, I re-read the last bits a few times too since it just flowed so well. Keep up the good work!
By the by, do you still do commissions?
Peace,
- Emile
17Emile The WatcherOh, my...This story is amazing so I see you haven't updated it since December, you should fix that, like soon. As well as your other stories. They area all amazingly done. Especially the emotional bits. I enjoyed reading them all today and felt, well saddened that they weren't done yet ha ha.
Anyway on to actually story review stuff, I liked Krystals reveal of her powers to Fox, and I'm excited to see how that plays out in the next chapter, I re-read the last bits a few times too since it just flowed so well. Keep up the good work!
By the by, do you still do commissions?
Peace,
- Emile
3/7 c16 snakedabomb
lol! Awkward! XD wow, i really enjoyed reading through these 16 chapters. I just have one regret. I read it way too fast. Took me two hours for ll sixteen...
lol! Awkward! XD wow, i really enjoyed reading through these 16 chapters. I just have one regret. I read it way too fast. Took me two hours for ll sixteen...
2/9 c1 2ImyG
I love this story SO much! I find your imagery amazing and effective. I've always had a deep love of Star Fox and you capture the characters perfectly. I really like what you've done so far and I can't wait for the chapters to come.
2ImyGI love this story SO much! I find your imagery amazing and effective. I've always had a deep love of Star Fox and you capture the characters perfectly. I really like what you've done so far and I can't wait for the chapters to come.
1/28 c16 Dayton
Good reads! You know how to write and tell a story! I'm looking forward to reading more!
Good reads! You know how to write and tell a story! I'm looking forward to reading more!
1/6 c16 10general whitefur
Another excellent chapter. I like that you made Fox's discovery of Krystal's telepathy a bit awkward for him (to say the least.) it was a really good idea, I mean it seems obvious but I've never really thought about that aspect of their relationship as being anything remotely resembling a problem. And finally Fox makes a move on his own, I think we've all be waiting for that for quite awhile. I hope to see an update soon, though if not I'll understand, writers block happens to everyone quite a bit, myself included. Anyways, I shall be waiting patiently for another update, and I suppose I'll have to read your other little collection of one shots. Brilliant work, keep it up!
-sincerely general whitefur
10general whitefurAnother excellent chapter. I like that you made Fox's discovery of Krystal's telepathy a bit awkward for him (to say the least.) it was a really good idea, I mean it seems obvious but I've never really thought about that aspect of their relationship as being anything remotely resembling a problem. And finally Fox makes a move on his own, I think we've all be waiting for that for quite awhile. I hope to see an update soon, though if not I'll understand, writers block happens to everyone quite a bit, myself included. Anyways, I shall be waiting patiently for another update, and I suppose I'll have to read your other little collection of one shots. Brilliant work, keep it up!
-sincerely general whitefur
1/6 c15 general whitefur
Poor Bianca, that age old problem of seemingly unrequited love. Well, hopefully she finds a way to get Sedge to see the fact that she does indeed sound like a catch. That and it would finally get him to leave Krystal alone.
-general whitefur
Poor Bianca, that age old problem of seemingly unrequited love. Well, hopefully she finds a way to get Sedge to see the fact that she does indeed sound like a catch. That and it would finally get him to leave Krystal alone.
-general whitefur