for Dance with the Devil Loki&OC10/24/2012 c8 
2Melanie-Baker
*Crying* oh...
poor Loki...
That was fantastic, and definitely one of the best Loki fictions I've ever read. we seem to share the same opinion, that all he really needs is someone to love him, and then he wouldn't be trying to destroy planets and rule worlds all of the time...
A fantastic story...
2Melanie-Baker*Crying* oh...
poor Loki...
That was fantastic, and definitely one of the best Loki fictions I've ever read. we seem to share the same opinion, that all he really needs is someone to love him, and then he wouldn't be trying to destroy planets and rule worlds all of the time...
A fantastic story...
5/25/2012 c1 Leviathan Whale
You are a veeeeery talented writer! well done, this is a good plot line and very original!
You are a veeeeery talented writer! well done, this is a good plot line and very original!
5/23/2012 c5 9dfxcm
I've yet to read this chapter, or the next, but I was so overcome with pure excitement to see that "Roses" by Meg & Dia had inspired this chapter, as no one I know seems to know them.
9dfxcmI've yet to read this chapter, or the next, but I was so overcome with pure excitement to see that "Roses" by Meg & Dia had inspired this chapter, as no one I know seems to know them.
5/22/2012 c1 Fallenlily366
I so far love the story, my only complaint is that the line
""Astrid will be married soon, I though sorrowfully, and I am still alone.""
Is in Astrid's point of view...so it's a little confusing, haha. Love it otherwise
I so far love the story, my only complaint is that the line
""Astrid will be married soon, I though sorrowfully, and I am still alone.""
Is in Astrid's point of view...so it's a little confusing, haha. Love it otherwise
5/1/2012 c4 Fanstay-Girl-1996
So good and I have seen the avengers too how good is little Loki love him
So good and I have seen the avengers too how good is little Loki love him
4/25/2012 c1 Shoshi
I got here through your Tumblr post. Good writing, and a good first chapter. I appreciate the fact of how *in character* Loki is. Please do more about his dark side! The name Astrid, though it's really cool, sounds very Greek and feels out of place in a Norse setting. Unfortunately, this sends up a Mary Sue Red Flag for me. I suggest you run your character through this test: http:/www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm before writing more. Although OC stories are fun, you need to be careful! Keep writing, I can't wait to read more!
I got here through your Tumblr post. Good writing, and a good first chapter. I appreciate the fact of how *in character* Loki is. Please do more about his dark side! The name Astrid, though it's really cool, sounds very Greek and feels out of place in a Norse setting. Unfortunately, this sends up a Mary Sue Red Flag for me. I suggest you run your character through this test: http:/www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm before writing more. Although OC stories are fun, you need to be careful! Keep writing, I can't wait to read more!
4/23/2012 c1 1Creed Vs Deadpool
This was very, very nice! Loki is a magnificent character and I'm glad to see that he's getting the loving that he deserves. The Avengers will be a magnificent movie. Looking forward to more!
1Creed Vs DeadpoolThis was very, very nice! Loki is a magnificent character and I'm glad to see that he's getting the loving that he deserves. The Avengers will be a magnificent movie. Looking forward to more!
4/23/2012 c1 12DearCassius
I'm very impressed, considering this is your first published fanfiction.
Astrid seems to be a well-rounded, likable OC, and appears to be a good match for Loki already. I like where you're taking this. The plot is good, characterization is good, and overall, you're doing well with grammar/spelling.
I only have one grammatical error to point out, and it's a recurring one. It's really no big deal. Basically, when you write as if someone is speaking (dialogue), you put a comma after the last word of what they're saying, not a period. Does that make sense? Here's an example from the story to clarify:
"He's staring at you again, Astrid." Freydis whispered, her hazel eyes alight with humor.
After the word "Astrid", you would put a comma, because it then goes on to say that Freydis is the one speaking. It would look like this:
"He's staring at you again, Astrid," Freydis whispered, her hazel eyes alight with humor.
It makes it easier to read and clarifies that Freydis is the one speaking. Does that make sense? It's difficult to explain, and I apologize for that. Again, no big deal. Really, don't worry too much about this- it's a minor detail and does NOT detract from the writing whatsoever.
This isn't a flame, by the way, because I really like what you have going here. Really. I think you're doing excellent so far, especially because this is your first story. :) Take it as a little bit of constructive criticism from one author to another.
Great first chapter, and I look forward to more!
-SP
(Oh, and your pen-name is awesome!)
12DearCassiusI'm very impressed, considering this is your first published fanfiction.
Astrid seems to be a well-rounded, likable OC, and appears to be a good match for Loki already. I like where you're taking this. The plot is good, characterization is good, and overall, you're doing well with grammar/spelling.
I only have one grammatical error to point out, and it's a recurring one. It's really no big deal. Basically, when you write as if someone is speaking (dialogue), you put a comma after the last word of what they're saying, not a period. Does that make sense? Here's an example from the story to clarify:
"He's staring at you again, Astrid." Freydis whispered, her hazel eyes alight with humor.
After the word "Astrid", you would put a comma, because it then goes on to say that Freydis is the one speaking. It would look like this:
"He's staring at you again, Astrid," Freydis whispered, her hazel eyes alight with humor.
It makes it easier to read and clarifies that Freydis is the one speaking. Does that make sense? It's difficult to explain, and I apologize for that. Again, no big deal. Really, don't worry too much about this- it's a minor detail and does NOT detract from the writing whatsoever.
This isn't a flame, by the way, because I really like what you have going here. Really. I think you're doing excellent so far, especially because this is your first story. :) Take it as a little bit of constructive criticism from one author to another.
Great first chapter, and I look forward to more!
-SP
(Oh, and your pen-name is awesome!)