for I'm Sorry4/26/2012 c2 LovelyDemon
Is this with the Abyss and Oz stays 15 while Gil and Elliot grow up?
Anyways, sounds like a good story. I'll look forward to the next chapters!
Is this with the Abyss and Oz stays 15 while Gil and Elliot grow up?
Anyways, sounds like a good story. I'll look forward to the next chapters!
4/26/2012 c2 
327aquarrow72
Whew... I like it... I'm curious.
-
Oh, and if I may give you some suggestions:
I think you need paragraphs everytime a different person talk.
For example:
"Hi there, Gil." Oz says to me.
"O-Oz! Are you okay?" I ask him full of concern.
"I'm fine, Gil. Geez…you worry too much." He says.
"T-Then, I'll wash your clothes…"
e.t.c
-
That's all... I don't mean to flame! Not at all!
I don't like flames myself... Ehehe...
Update soon? ^^
Thanks~
327aquarrow72Whew... I like it... I'm curious.
-
Oh, and if I may give you some suggestions:
I think you need paragraphs everytime a different person talk.
For example:
"Hi there, Gil." Oz says to me.
"O-Oz! Are you okay?" I ask him full of concern.
"I'm fine, Gil. Geez…you worry too much." He says.
"T-Then, I'll wash your clothes…"
e.t.c
-
That's all... I don't mean to flame! Not at all!
I don't like flames myself... Ehehe...
Update soon? ^^
Thanks~