for Unknown Soldiers11/12/2012 c8 
4Berserker216
I should make a note that the member of the four swords you named Genbu is actually Ryoga Senba. Genbu is the name of Suzaku's father. Just making that note.
4Berserker216I should make a note that the member of the four swords you named Genbu is actually Ryoga Senba. Genbu is the name of Suzaku's father. Just making that note.
11/7/2012 c12 Berserker216
Read all eleven (no offence Japanese of the Code Geass World) chapters in one go! This story has a lot of potential and I look forward to your next update! If your taking requests, I wouldn't mind a little TohdohxChiba when the story gets to that point. Also, the icon of the story is that drinking party photo, right! I'd like that to be included as well (maybe most of the cast can head to the beach for a time?) Like Tohdoh and the swords said in the Queen Anthology, JAPANESE SWIMMING!
Read all eleven (no offence Japanese of the Code Geass World) chapters in one go! This story has a lot of potential and I look forward to your next update! If your taking requests, I wouldn't mind a little TohdohxChiba when the story gets to that point. Also, the icon of the story is that drinking party photo, right! I'd like that to be included as well (maybe most of the cast can head to the beach for a time?) Like Tohdoh and the swords said in the Queen Anthology, JAPANESE SWIMMING!
10/5/2012 c12 GrimIsaac
i like what you are doing and i like that you are going with the kanon storyline, so great job
i like what you are doing and i like that you are going with the kanon storyline, so great job
9/12/2012 c12 1delax
What a coincidence!
It's been nearly that long since I have gotten on this site!
Good luck with what's going on for you.
PS You could use the Japanese audio with subs. Like I said earlier, I don't think you should transcribe straight into the story. But having the transcription to base off of sounds like a grand idea. So, subs might work (unless those were the Closed Captions you meant)
1delaxWhat a coincidence!
It's been nearly that long since I have gotten on this site!
Good luck with what's going on for you.
PS You could use the Japanese audio with subs. Like I said earlier, I don't think you should transcribe straight into the story. But having the transcription to base off of sounds like a grand idea. So, subs might work (unless those were the Closed Captions you meant)
9/12/2012 c11 delax
Having now gotten into the actual show's material I appreciate you are being very careful with the canon.
However, please do not transcribe the show straight into this story.
If someone wanted to know exactly what happens in canon, they should just see the show (It's legally seeable on Youtube and Crunchyroll).
The transcribed scenes bored me, it gave me nothing new (though I could see and hear each scene in my head, eerie...).
I would suggest summarizing/describing over transcribing:
("When Lelouch walked into the room, he knew it wouldn't be any different from the other times; after the usual idle banter, he set to work on earning his keep. Unable to stop from indulging himself a little, he started with his king. The noble burst out laughing, 'You start with the king?' Lelouch gave a small smile of his own that the noble wouldn't get the actual joke, even if he explained it. ...")
Also giving us parts to the scene that we never saw.
(What happened before Lelouch walked into that room? What does Rivalz do when he gets back to school? What was Shirley calling about?)
I wondering now, should you write for Lelouch?
He's the main character, so sticking to canon would mainly entail copying the show's stuff (even some of his thoughts).
Perhaps filter the canon world through his eyes, I doubt that he pays 100% attention to most things being said or shown.
P.S. One last small thing, please avoid writing "hahahahahahaha". If it is more than two, it looks silly. Write "he laughed" or "She giggled" or even "Great booming roars of laughter roiled out him like thunder from a typhoon".
Having now gotten into the actual show's material I appreciate you are being very careful with the canon.
However, please do not transcribe the show straight into this story.
If someone wanted to know exactly what happens in canon, they should just see the show (It's legally seeable on Youtube and Crunchyroll).
The transcribed scenes bored me, it gave me nothing new (though I could see and hear each scene in my head, eerie...).
I would suggest summarizing/describing over transcribing:
("When Lelouch walked into the room, he knew it wouldn't be any different from the other times; after the usual idle banter, he set to work on earning his keep. Unable to stop from indulging himself a little, he started with his king. The noble burst out laughing, 'You start with the king?' Lelouch gave a small smile of his own that the noble wouldn't get the actual joke, even if he explained it. ...")
Also giving us parts to the scene that we never saw.
(What happened before Lelouch walked into that room? What does Rivalz do when he gets back to school? What was Shirley calling about?)
I wondering now, should you write for Lelouch?
He's the main character, so sticking to canon would mainly entail copying the show's stuff (even some of his thoughts).
Perhaps filter the canon world through his eyes, I doubt that he pays 100% attention to most things being said or shown.
P.S. One last small thing, please avoid writing "hahahahahahaha". If it is more than two, it looks silly. Write "he laughed" or "She giggled" or even "Great booming roars of laughter roiled out him like thunder from a typhoon".
9/3/2012 c12 1spanishcallos
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear about the family problems, but I'm excited for you re. your college visits. College was a grand, grand time for me, so goodluck with that. :)
I also admire your commitment to canon, going as far as transcribing the dialogue. Maybe you can try straying from it a bit, if you're having difficulties progressing (I was told that difficulties may be due to the plot/story not being able to breathe). You, however, seem to be doing great, judging from Chapter 11.
Anyway, I am eagerly waiting for the 8th.
1spanishcallosHi,
I'm sorry to hear about the family problems, but I'm excited for you re. your college visits. College was a grand, grand time for me, so goodluck with that. :)
I also admire your commitment to canon, going as far as transcribing the dialogue. Maybe you can try straying from it a bit, if you're having difficulties progressing (I was told that difficulties may be due to the plot/story not being able to breathe). You, however, seem to be doing great, judging from Chapter 11.
Anyway, I am eagerly waiting for the 8th.
8/15/2012 c11 Lu
Wow! A very unique and interesting story - your writing is good too and so is the way you portray the characters. I hope you update soon because it's awesome XD
I'm eagerly awaiting the Kalulu (I'll be patient though)
Wow! A very unique and interesting story - your writing is good too and so is the way you portray the characters. I hope you update soon because it's awesome XD
I'm eagerly awaiting the Kalulu (I'll be patient though)
8/15/2012 c11 Witness-san
This looks like, when finished, it will be an absolute monster of a story! Not that I'm complaining ;)
Anyway, this is a very unique story - I've never seen a multichaptered fic heavily focused on the original members of the Black Knights, and it's nice to read one! I actually wished they'd gotten more screen time in the anime, but alas. On the topic of the members, I think you've characterized them all very well. They're all very believable and likable - the characters that we already knew a bit about (like Tamaki and Ohgi) were kept in-character too.
As other reviewers have already pointed out, I liked the parallels between Lelouch and Naoto.
Also about the delayed Kalulu - I actually support your decision! In fanfiction they usually seem to get together rather quickly and hey, the best part of romance is when they're falling in love and then beating around the bush ;) I guess I just really like my romance to have a strong foundation and good build up. I'm definitely looking forward to some Kalulu interaction though. Also I was pretty much jumping up and down when Lelouch was introduced.
Oh, and on a quick constructive note - your writing is very good! There isn't too much or too little description and your prose and structure of your work is done well and very comprehensible. You're also good at conveying emotion as well without it seeming over dramatic or on the other hand unaffecting. I don't remember any spelling/ grammar issues either :)
Sorry for babbling XD anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter.
This looks like, when finished, it will be an absolute monster of a story! Not that I'm complaining ;)
Anyway, this is a very unique story - I've never seen a multichaptered fic heavily focused on the original members of the Black Knights, and it's nice to read one! I actually wished they'd gotten more screen time in the anime, but alas. On the topic of the members, I think you've characterized them all very well. They're all very believable and likable - the characters that we already knew a bit about (like Tamaki and Ohgi) were kept in-character too.
As other reviewers have already pointed out, I liked the parallels between Lelouch and Naoto.
Also about the delayed Kalulu - I actually support your decision! In fanfiction they usually seem to get together rather quickly and hey, the best part of romance is when they're falling in love and then beating around the bush ;) I guess I just really like my romance to have a strong foundation and good build up. I'm definitely looking forward to some Kalulu interaction though. Also I was pretty much jumping up and down when Lelouch was introduced.
Oh, and on a quick constructive note - your writing is very good! There isn't too much or too little description and your prose and structure of your work is done well and very comprehensible. You're also good at conveying emotion as well without it seeming over dramatic or on the other hand unaffecting. I don't remember any spelling/ grammar issues either :)
Sorry for babbling XD anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter.
8/6/2012 c10 PopthePuff
Hi, I find this very enjoyable, and I'm very interested in finding peoples thoughts during cannon events.
Hi, I find this very enjoyable, and I'm very interested in finding peoples thoughts during cannon events.
8/5/2012 c11 spanishcallos
Wow, that was a long, satisfying read.
I'm impressed by how committed this chapter is to canon. You must have watched and re-watched the episode just to write this one down. This makes me understand why you're so tired.
I can't help but wonder how closely you'll follow the canon throughout R1 and R2, though. Your summary implies that this would be a retelling of CG from different perspectives, but I'm sure you have to stray from canon (even just a little) if you want to make this solely KaLulu. If you plan to, is there a chance that you'd make Inoue live? (I am giving my computer screen a hopeful look as I type.)
Anyway, update soon. :)
Maria C.
Wow, that was a long, satisfying read.
I'm impressed by how committed this chapter is to canon. You must have watched and re-watched the episode just to write this one down. This makes me understand why you're so tired.
I can't help but wonder how closely you'll follow the canon throughout R1 and R2, though. Your summary implies that this would be a retelling of CG from different perspectives, but I'm sure you have to stray from canon (even just a little) if you want to make this solely KaLulu. If you plan to, is there a chance that you'd make Inoue live? (I am giving my computer screen a hopeful look as I type.)
Anyway, update soon. :)
Maria C.
7/31/2012 c11 3Erifrats101
Read it. Loved it. Off to a great start. :)
Great melding of all the scenes. If i had to correct anything, it'd be the way you format thoughts. I think using italics would work better than '...' (single-quotes? Apostrophes, whatever you call them).
Anyway, can't wait for more. I'd like to see how you handle eps 2 and 3(especially).
3Erifrats101Read it. Loved it. Off to a great start. :)
Great melding of all the scenes. If i had to correct anything, it'd be the way you format thoughts. I think using italics would work better than '...' (single-quotes? Apostrophes, whatever you call them).
Anyway, can't wait for more. I'd like to see how you handle eps 2 and 3(especially).
7/30/2012 c11 8XT3100
dang so close to the cannon! Wow keep on writting my friend. but dont forget to take a break every so often!
8XT3100dang so close to the cannon! Wow keep on writting my friend. but dont forget to take a break every so often!
7/29/2012 c11 2qiunofan
Awesome rewrite of episode 1. To be honest, I watched the episode after reading since I have the DVDs and you basically followed the canon to every word. I can understand why you would be tired.
Also, I checked out your other chapters without reviewing them since I wanted to see what your writing style was like and how committed you were to posting. Also, I just read the parts with the characters I like while the others I skimmed through unless it would be related to the canon like that operation you had Kusakabe do that wasn't explained in the anime. Sorry if this kills your purpose for the fanfic but it's hard for me to feel attachment to minor characters unless they did something that sorta "wows" me.
Anyways, great chapter with a some grammatical/word errors here and there that I noticed. But it was still easily readable and understandable so don't worry. Keep it up and can't wait for episode 2!
2qiunofanAwesome rewrite of episode 1. To be honest, I watched the episode after reading since I have the DVDs and you basically followed the canon to every word. I can understand why you would be tired.
Also, I checked out your other chapters without reviewing them since I wanted to see what your writing style was like and how committed you were to posting. Also, I just read the parts with the characters I like while the others I skimmed through unless it would be related to the canon like that operation you had Kusakabe do that wasn't explained in the anime. Sorry if this kills your purpose for the fanfic but it's hard for me to feel attachment to minor characters unless they did something that sorta "wows" me.
Anyways, great chapter with a some grammatical/word errors here and there that I noticed. But it was still easily readable and understandable so don't worry. Keep it up and can't wait for episode 2!