for The Passage Not Seen10/27/2012 c26 
11Supersaiyaninfinitygohan
Well, I can't say much besides how awesome I think this all was and hope for more soon! Thank you very much for all this!
11SupersaiyaninfinitygohanWell, I can't say much besides how awesome I think this all was and hope for more soon! Thank you very much for all this!
10/27/2012 c26 38Death101- Fox Version
Haha. I loved the sorta prank. That was awesome. The good bye was also great and then we reach the final quote. I loved it greatly. This whole story was awesome and I'm sad to see it come to an end but I'm still hopeful for that oneshot and look forward to reading more of your works in the future. See you around the site.
-d101
P.S Are you still thinking about the collab in a few months?
38Death101- Fox VersionHaha. I loved the sorta prank. That was awesome. The good bye was also great and then we reach the final quote. I loved it greatly. This whole story was awesome and I'm sad to see it come to an end but I'm still hopeful for that oneshot and look forward to reading more of your works in the future. See you around the site.
-d101
P.S Are you still thinking about the collab in a few months?
10/23/2012 c25 Death101- Fox Version
Oh my gosh. I started to tear up and cry when it hit Trunks and Goten talking and taking the picture. Aw. This was a freaking sad chapter. I know it had to happen but I'm still sad about it. Anyways, awesome job! Please update soon!
-D101
Oh my gosh. I started to tear up and cry when it hit Trunks and Goten talking and taking the picture. Aw. This was a freaking sad chapter. I know it had to happen but I'm still sad about it. Anyways, awesome job! Please update soon!
-D101
10/23/2012 c25 11Supersaiyaninfinitygohan
Very emotional and enjoyable as ever! Although I would have preferred some of Chi-Chi's, Goku's, Bulma's and Vegeta's thoughts on all this.
11SupersaiyaninfinitygohanVery emotional and enjoyable as ever! Although I would have preferred some of Chi-Chi's, Goku's, Bulma's and Vegeta's thoughts on all this.
10/23/2012 c25 2Power9987
Hey hey!
Nice! This is such an emotional chapter! You do a good job with portraying the sadness of Present Goten's departure in all of the characters, especially Trunks.
Speaking of the little guy, that scene with just him and Goten was just too much! I don't actually mean too much, I mean it was so emotional that it was too much to contain your own emotions! Yes I believe empathy is one of your string points in writing because you can make the reader (or me anyways) actually feel the emotions taking place vicariously though the characters.
I really don't have too much more to say on this chapter other than it provided me with a much needed study break! I enjoyed the chapter thoroughly, even though it made me sad. I will write an extensive review once this story is complete. Until then, have a wonderful week and thank you for giving me a quality read to break up my study time!
-Power9987
2Power9987Hey hey!
Nice! This is such an emotional chapter! You do a good job with portraying the sadness of Present Goten's departure in all of the characters, especially Trunks.
Speaking of the little guy, that scene with just him and Goten was just too much! I don't actually mean too much, I mean it was so emotional that it was too much to contain your own emotions! Yes I believe empathy is one of your string points in writing because you can make the reader (or me anyways) actually feel the emotions taking place vicariously though the characters.
I really don't have too much more to say on this chapter other than it provided me with a much needed study break! I enjoyed the chapter thoroughly, even though it made me sad. I will write an extensive review once this story is complete. Until then, have a wonderful week and thank you for giving me a quality read to break up my study time!
-Power9987
10/21/2012 c24 Power9987
Hey hey!
Overall nice chapter. I liked the little scene with Videl and Son. Looks like something is going to happen between those two in the future... or maybe there won't be anything. I guess it's too early to tell. I do however like that little addition to the plot.
I find it adorable that Trunks lets down his defenses for Present Goten, but only him. He was pouring out his feelings to the older halfling, but as soon as Son enters the picture, he goes stoic again. It's incredible how Present Goten was able to form a bond with the younger version of his best friend that could rival the one he has with his own brother. I think I like that aspect of this story.
I'm going to be honest; I'm not exactly sure I like the idea of Son needing to "continue" Present Goten's role. To me, it seems like you don't feel as though Gohan could take care of them on his own or that he would need someone to help him. I know that's not what you're implying, but I just can't help but think that way. Sure, both young ones will be devastated by Present Goten's departure, but remember that Gohan was as well and he got through it... and one could make the case that he formed a stronger bond with Present Goten than the little ones did, Trunks included. I also realize that the imminent arrival of little Goten and Trunks helped greatly, but I also feel like, as you mentioned earlier in the chapter, that they would come to terms with it eventually after they realize the reason for his departure and will move on, just like losing a loved one to death. Things may never be the same but time moves on, and to me, I feel like Gohan would be able to get them through this on his own, not needing another big brother to take over Present Goten's role.
That being said, that is completely my opinion. I do like the fact that you reiterate that Son is not Goten's "replacement," but rather his "protege." He will continue his work rather than try and be Goten, and that I like since he is his own person as he has aspect from both of his creators. And although I don't think he's needed, I still like the fact that he has a natural instinct to be a big brother for both of the little ones. Of course since both of his creators have this natural instinct as well, it really shouldn't be surprising.
I want to restate how much I liked this chapter. It is very well written and I enjoyed reading it like always. I love stories that aren't all battles and drama and are more oriented towards character development and family bonding. That's why I like this story so much. Just the right amount of action with good twists and surprises, but it has character development and family bonding that I feel is unmatched. As much as I said that I'm not all for Son's addition to what I felt was an already complete family, I still respect your reasons for including him and I admit that I also like the addition probably more than I don't like it. Keep up the great work and I look forward to the conclusion of this story in the near future.
-Power9987
Hey hey!
Overall nice chapter. I liked the little scene with Videl and Son. Looks like something is going to happen between those two in the future... or maybe there won't be anything. I guess it's too early to tell. I do however like that little addition to the plot.
I find it adorable that Trunks lets down his defenses for Present Goten, but only him. He was pouring out his feelings to the older halfling, but as soon as Son enters the picture, he goes stoic again. It's incredible how Present Goten was able to form a bond with the younger version of his best friend that could rival the one he has with his own brother. I think I like that aspect of this story.
I'm going to be honest; I'm not exactly sure I like the idea of Son needing to "continue" Present Goten's role. To me, it seems like you don't feel as though Gohan could take care of them on his own or that he would need someone to help him. I know that's not what you're implying, but I just can't help but think that way. Sure, both young ones will be devastated by Present Goten's departure, but remember that Gohan was as well and he got through it... and one could make the case that he formed a stronger bond with Present Goten than the little ones did, Trunks included. I also realize that the imminent arrival of little Goten and Trunks helped greatly, but I also feel like, as you mentioned earlier in the chapter, that they would come to terms with it eventually after they realize the reason for his departure and will move on, just like losing a loved one to death. Things may never be the same but time moves on, and to me, I feel like Gohan would be able to get them through this on his own, not needing another big brother to take over Present Goten's role.
That being said, that is completely my opinion. I do like the fact that you reiterate that Son is not Goten's "replacement," but rather his "protege." He will continue his work rather than try and be Goten, and that I like since he is his own person as he has aspect from both of his creators. And although I don't think he's needed, I still like the fact that he has a natural instinct to be a big brother for both of the little ones. Of course since both of his creators have this natural instinct as well, it really shouldn't be surprising.
I want to restate how much I liked this chapter. It is very well written and I enjoyed reading it like always. I love stories that aren't all battles and drama and are more oriented towards character development and family bonding. That's why I like this story so much. Just the right amount of action with good twists and surprises, but it has character development and family bonding that I feel is unmatched. As much as I said that I'm not all for Son's addition to what I felt was an already complete family, I still respect your reasons for including him and I admit that I also like the addition probably more than I don't like it. Keep up the great work and I look forward to the conclusion of this story in the near future.
-Power9987
10/21/2012 c24 11Supersaiyaninfinitygohan
Sorry to hear about your illness. Really hope you get better dude.
11SupersaiyaninfinitygohanSorry to hear about your illness. Really hope you get better dude.
10/21/2012 c24 38Death101- Fox Version
Neat. I loved Son's POV and thoughts. That was awesome but I really loved Trunks and Goten's interaction. It's so cute to see him try to be a big boy. (Yes, I will keep saying this as long as they interact.) I'm glad Son got his own body and life and stuff and it's going to be interesting to see who Videl ends up with. Even if we don't get that far in this story or series, could you please do a oneshot to help us out? Anyways, awesome job! Just one thing. "...she really had idea the Dragon was capable of extracting someone from nothingness..." I think you wanted "...she really had NO idea the Dragon was capable of extracting someone from nothingness..." Also get better soon!
-d101
38Death101- Fox VersionNeat. I loved Son's POV and thoughts. That was awesome but I really loved Trunks and Goten's interaction. It's so cute to see him try to be a big boy. (Yes, I will keep saying this as long as they interact.) I'm glad Son got his own body and life and stuff and it's going to be interesting to see who Videl ends up with. Even if we don't get that far in this story or series, could you please do a oneshot to help us out? Anyways, awesome job! Just one thing. "...she really had idea the Dragon was capable of extracting someone from nothingness..." I think you wanted "...she really had NO idea the Dragon was capable of extracting someone from nothingness..." Also get better soon!
-d101
10/18/2012 c3 Aleaster
I feel like monster from another dimension and the return of your younger brother trumps family trip... Why has no one sensed gohans arrival? Or why couldn't dende see him coming like kami did with cell?
I feel like monster from another dimension and the return of your younger brother trumps family trip... Why has no one sensed gohans arrival? Or why couldn't dende see him coming like kami did with cell?
10/18/2012 c2 Aleaster
Ya know, somehow I feel like 6th graders shouldn't be doing anything like that math problem... Trig functions are algebra two level work at least, the average 6th grader is barely in prealgebra...
Ya know, somehow I feel like 6th graders shouldn't be doing anything like that math problem... Trig functions are algebra two level work at least, the average 6th grader is barely in prealgebra...
10/15/2012 c23 2Power9987
Hey hey!
Nice and simple chapter. I like it. I found the prank that you chose for little Goten and Trunks to pull humorous to say the least. I would actually like to see if they end up carrying out this prank as I believe that Present Goten's reaction would be priceless!
About the reactions of Goten and Trunks to the absence of the two older chibis. I have to admit that I would believe that they would react the exact way that you wrote them. They haven't spent much time at all away from Gohan (and recently present Goten) at all, and the sudden disappearance of them I think would strike worry in both of them. And per usual, I believe Goten would be more open about his worry and Trunks would hide it more, just like you wrote them.
I thought the scene between the two mini chibis and Videl was comical. she keeps asking for Goten when he's standing right in front of her. Of course she doesn't' know this since she met the older Goten, but I thunk it's hilarious how despite that, she is continuously persistent that the little tyke isn't Goten when in fact he is! I thought this was a good element of the chapter.
Finally, I ended on the same reaction that Videl did. I too am wondering how it's possible for Son to be there at the same time as Gohan and Goten when they are separate. I find that particular element interesting and no doubt you have an explanation coming up in the following chapter.
Good short chapter. I hope that your laptop doesn't take too long to repair because I would like another update soon! Keep it up!
-Power9987
2Power9987Hey hey!
Nice and simple chapter. I like it. I found the prank that you chose for little Goten and Trunks to pull humorous to say the least. I would actually like to see if they end up carrying out this prank as I believe that Present Goten's reaction would be priceless!
About the reactions of Goten and Trunks to the absence of the two older chibis. I have to admit that I would believe that they would react the exact way that you wrote them. They haven't spent much time at all away from Gohan (and recently present Goten) at all, and the sudden disappearance of them I think would strike worry in both of them. And per usual, I believe Goten would be more open about his worry and Trunks would hide it more, just like you wrote them.
I thought the scene between the two mini chibis and Videl was comical. she keeps asking for Goten when he's standing right in front of her. Of course she doesn't' know this since she met the older Goten, but I thunk it's hilarious how despite that, she is continuously persistent that the little tyke isn't Goten when in fact he is! I thought this was a good element of the chapter.
Finally, I ended on the same reaction that Videl did. I too am wondering how it's possible for Son to be there at the same time as Gohan and Goten when they are separate. I find that particular element interesting and no doubt you have an explanation coming up in the following chapter.
Good short chapter. I hope that your laptop doesn't take too long to repair because I would like another update soon! Keep it up!
-Power9987
10/15/2012 c23 38Death101- Fox Version
"Did you just say prank, Trunks?" At this line my mind went into freak out mode. They are going to mess with the Time machine. I just know it. Oh man. Things will not end well. The irony would be if THEY took the time machine and went to the past and ran into Gohan when he was little and things get stuck in a loop.
... Aw. It's so cute how worried Trunks and Goten were about Gohan and Goten. Especially Trunks denying anything could be wrong.
... Oh my gosh. This is awsome. Videl doesn't know there are two. Haha. That's funny and Goten's reaction is so cute!
..."stubborn, fragile, and downright irrational." Okay. Yes girls can be stubborn but Trunks... Honestly? Is your moth... okay. Yes Bulma is but is Chichi fragile? I don't think so! And just because our logic is not your logic doesn't mean we are irrational. He'll learn eventually... hopefully.
...Oh my gosh! Trunks' reaction was so cute! And he will totally kill me for saying that but it was! Especially how he decided to hide in the house. He'd better not miss saying goodbye... maybe he playes stowaway?
...Wow... How did... What... Son? How... So he is back!? EPIC! That means Gotenks can become his own person too! But if Videl likes Son more than Gohan, Pan won't be born! That isn't good! Anyways, I hope you get your computer fixed and back in one piece.
-D101
38Death101- Fox Version"Did you just say prank, Trunks?" At this line my mind went into freak out mode. They are going to mess with the Time machine. I just know it. Oh man. Things will not end well. The irony would be if THEY took the time machine and went to the past and ran into Gohan when he was little and things get stuck in a loop.
... Aw. It's so cute how worried Trunks and Goten were about Gohan and Goten. Especially Trunks denying anything could be wrong.
... Oh my gosh. This is awsome. Videl doesn't know there are two. Haha. That's funny and Goten's reaction is so cute!
..."stubborn, fragile, and downright irrational." Okay. Yes girls can be stubborn but Trunks... Honestly? Is your moth... okay. Yes Bulma is but is Chichi fragile? I don't think so! And just because our logic is not your logic doesn't mean we are irrational. He'll learn eventually... hopefully.
...Oh my gosh! Trunks' reaction was so cute! And he will totally kill me for saying that but it was! Especially how he decided to hide in the house. He'd better not miss saying goodbye... maybe he playes stowaway?
...Wow... How did... What... Son? How... So he is back!? EPIC! That means Gotenks can become his own person too! But if Videl likes Son more than Gohan, Pan won't be born! That isn't good! Anyways, I hope you get your computer fixed and back in one piece.
-D101
10/13/2012 c22 2Power9987
Hey hey!
Okay, now you've got me curious as to what Gohan's planning. I'm trying to pull at ideas as to what it could be, but I really can't come up with anything based on the hints you're giving me. I guess I'll find out next chapter. :P
Seriously, this was excellent! I really like the fact that despite his outward tough-guy appearance to little Goten, Trunks secretly loves being spoiled by his "older brother." The ironic thing is that the person that he likes coddling him is the same person he's trying to hide it from! In all seriousness, I like the bond that little Trunks formed with present Goten. I personally really believe it's because he's secretly jealous of how much Gohan coddles his little brother.
I'm kind of backtracking a little bit, but as a side note, I really hated your description of the banquet... no, not because it was bad; quite the opposite. It was TOO good... so much so that it made me hungry and then disappointed that I could't eat it! You are a jerk for making me go through that lol!
I loved your description of how Goten reacted when he was born in this timeline... it looked strangely familiar, though I can't place my mind on why...
The whole amusement park scene was fun! I could definitely see a little competition developing between the younger chibis. I also found present Goten's fear of ghosts quite amusing. Nice touch! I also liked the little scene near the end where Gohan reassures Goten that he believes that he's the best thing to ever happen to him. Gotta love the brotherly fluff!
Once again nice chapter. Every time I read this story, I always find myself disappointed in the end... not because the chapters are bad, but because their so good I'm disappointed when I reach the end of one! Keep up the good work my friend and I look forward to the conclusion coming up in the next couple of chapters!
-Power9987
P.S.- If the wind blew you in the right direction, would you even care? I would! (Sorry I couldn't resist, it's a quote from one of my favorite songs, "Nowhere Fast" by Incubus. Check it out when you get a chance.)
2Power9987Hey hey!
Okay, now you've got me curious as to what Gohan's planning. I'm trying to pull at ideas as to what it could be, but I really can't come up with anything based on the hints you're giving me. I guess I'll find out next chapter. :P
Seriously, this was excellent! I really like the fact that despite his outward tough-guy appearance to little Goten, Trunks secretly loves being spoiled by his "older brother." The ironic thing is that the person that he likes coddling him is the same person he's trying to hide it from! In all seriousness, I like the bond that little Trunks formed with present Goten. I personally really believe it's because he's secretly jealous of how much Gohan coddles his little brother.
I'm kind of backtracking a little bit, but as a side note, I really hated your description of the banquet... no, not because it was bad; quite the opposite. It was TOO good... so much so that it made me hungry and then disappointed that I could't eat it! You are a jerk for making me go through that lol!
I loved your description of how Goten reacted when he was born in this timeline... it looked strangely familiar, though I can't place my mind on why...
The whole amusement park scene was fun! I could definitely see a little competition developing between the younger chibis. I also found present Goten's fear of ghosts quite amusing. Nice touch! I also liked the little scene near the end where Gohan reassures Goten that he believes that he's the best thing to ever happen to him. Gotta love the brotherly fluff!
Once again nice chapter. Every time I read this story, I always find myself disappointed in the end... not because the chapters are bad, but because their so good I'm disappointed when I reach the end of one! Keep up the good work my friend and I look forward to the conclusion coming up in the next couple of chapters!
-Power9987
P.S.- If the wind blew you in the right direction, would you even care? I would! (Sorry I couldn't resist, it's a quote from one of my favorite songs, "Nowhere Fast" by Incubus. Check it out when you get a chance.)
10/13/2012 c22 11Supersaiyaninfinitygohan
Some more great filler! And something to keep it all going!
Keep up the great work!
11SupersaiyaninfinitygohanSome more great filler! And something to keep it all going!
Keep up the great work!