7/7/2012 c1 1The Dark Madness Dragon
well, its a great story, when you get the next few chapter's up, it will be a story to remember.

5/4/2012 c1 3Dardarax
Wow, thanks for all the honourable mentions. I'm honoured. ^_^

Hm... I wonder who that could have been? :/ Well, whoever it is, I don't blame him for going after Moneybags, the guy's a dick. xP Though, you would think that the 'organization' would have decided to charge some from everyone, just to make a big profit, since so many people wanted him dead. After all, I'm sure they wouldn't have minded to all pitch in in order to get him killed. xD

Pretty good. ^^ Though there were a few things I might change out. For example, when you do the "It is nearly pitch-black at just after midnight," I would have gotten rid of the "It is" in exchange for something like "The sky was." There are two reasons I would do this: The first is that "It is" makes it seem more like you are narrating the scene to us. In a story such as this, you want to be as invisible as possible while telling the story, so people forget it is, in fact a story. The second reason I would do this is because it adds just a little more description to the scene, telling us more about what is happening, and what the surroundings look like. I would also recommend changing out the "just after midnight," to make it sound a bit better, but that's just me. If you do decide to do it however, I would go with "The sky was pitch black as the crescent midnight moon hovered in the sky." Just a suggestion, don't have to do it.

Also, the line immediately after that has the same immediate problem that the first line had: "There is a feeling of despair and sadness" The "there is" makes it seem like you're narrating, I recommend removing it so that it, and leaving the "A feeling of despair and sadness" to itself, as it works all by itself.

The rest is great though, and I had a lot of fun reading it. ^^ Can't wait to see how this continues.

Let your imagination flourish.

Dardarax