for Call of Duty Dead Ops The Asylum5/8/2012 c1 
4InsanityIsMyVanity
I'm sorry, but this story is really long and all in one clump. It might be me being picky, but I think if you're writing a story, it should have paragraphs. Also some of the characters seem a little OOC try to write a little more in character, and I think it would be nice to see the characters with an accent to say things with their accent. I hope you take what I've said in to consideration
~InsanityIsMyVanity~
4InsanityIsMyVanityI'm sorry, but this story is really long and all in one clump. It might be me being picky, but I think if you're writing a story, it should have paragraphs. Also some of the characters seem a little OOC try to write a little more in character, and I think it would be nice to see the characters with an accent to say things with their accent. I hope you take what I've said in to consideration
~InsanityIsMyVanity~