for Safe and Sound5/9/2012 c1 Anon
Hmm, interesting. I can truthfully say I love the OC. She's likeable and I would like to read more. I wonder how she and Leo will meet again.
And if you're looking for a beta reader, you can try stealthy stories! ^.^
Hmm, interesting. I can truthfully say I love the OC. She's likeable and I would like to read more. I wonder how she and Leo will meet again.
And if you're looking for a beta reader, you can try stealthy stories! ^.^
5/9/2012 c1 
1MusiCSqrd
If you hadn't said anything, I would have thought English was your first language. This is well written. Lena has appeal, she's different from other OCs I've read for this fandom and that means you definitely have something here. I found myself wondering what Lena looked like. So, hopefully I'll get a better picture of her in my head if you continue :)
1MusiCSqrdIf you hadn't said anything, I would have thought English was your first language. This is well written. Lena has appeal, she's different from other OCs I've read for this fandom and that means you definitely have something here. I found myself wondering what Lena looked like. So, hopefully I'll get a better picture of her in my head if you continue :)
5/9/2012 c1 13Gaia Kame
This story seems interesting so far. The character Lena seems different from what you normally see from OC's. So good job on that. Your writing seems well done and put together; for this story shows potential. I look forward to the next installment to this story so please keep up the good work. Until then, Ja Ne!
13Gaia KameThis story seems interesting so far. The character Lena seems different from what you normally see from OC's. So good job on that. Your writing seems well done and put together; for this story shows potential. I look forward to the next installment to this story so please keep up the good work. Until then, Ja Ne!
5/9/2012 c1 TMNTreader
Interesting. I like Lena. Good fic for English not being your first language. I'll read more, if you post more.
Interesting. I like Lena. Good fic for English not being your first language. I'll read more, if you post more.
5/8/2012 c1 89BubblyShell22
Hmmm. This was very interesting to say the least. I really liked Lena and how she was presented. If you're thinking of continuing this as a story, I think it would be a good thing to do. For not speaking English as a first language, you really are quite good at writing. The only mistakes I've seen are that you put periods in the dialogue tags when people are speaking. Those need to be commas except where you have question marks or exclamation marks. So, for example: "Maybe I should call for help." she said to herself, taking her cell phone from her back pocket. It should be: "Maybe I should call for help," she said to herself, taking her cell phone out of her back pocket. You see where I'm coming from? So, any dialogue tags that are like that should have commas before the indicator of who's speaking.
Other than that, good job. I really liked it.
The Bubbly One,
Shell
89BubblyShell22Hmmm. This was very interesting to say the least. I really liked Lena and how she was presented. If you're thinking of continuing this as a story, I think it would be a good thing to do. For not speaking English as a first language, you really are quite good at writing. The only mistakes I've seen are that you put periods in the dialogue tags when people are speaking. Those need to be commas except where you have question marks or exclamation marks. So, for example: "Maybe I should call for help." she said to herself, taking her cell phone from her back pocket. It should be: "Maybe I should call for help," she said to herself, taking her cell phone out of her back pocket. You see where I'm coming from? So, any dialogue tags that are like that should have commas before the indicator of who's speaking.
Other than that, good job. I really liked it.
The Bubbly One,
Shell
5/8/2012 c1 Unluckystar112
It's really good, you should definitely put the rest up. :D
It's really good, you should definitely put the rest up. :D
5/8/2012 c1 Unluckystar112
It's really good, you should definitely put the rest up. :D
It's really good, you should definitely put the rest up. :D