for The Mundy's8/2/2012 c5 KingdomOfThomond
Not how I imagined the chapter would go, but it's fairly decent. I personally would not have taken Jazz onto the battlefield this early on.
Not how I imagined the chapter would go, but it's fairly decent. I personally would not have taken Jazz onto the battlefield this early on.
7/22/2012 c4 
35Faux Promises
This is:
1) Badly written
2) OOC
3) Cliched bad OC Mary Sue fic
4) Terrible punctuation and grammar
35Faux PromisesThis is:
1) Badly written
2) OOC
3) Cliched bad OC Mary Sue fic
4) Terrible punctuation and grammar
7/21/2012 c3 22KingdomOfThomond
Punctuation nightmare! Story is good, but punctuation is terrible. If you can't improve your punctuation, try sending it to GrammarNazi to sort it out.
22KingdomOfThomondPunctuation nightmare! Story is good, but punctuation is terrible. If you can't improve your punctuation, try sending it to GrammarNazi to sort it out.
7/17/2012 c2 KingdomOfThomond
Grammar and spelling are a problem. Proper nouns (e.g. Teufort)need capital letters. Otherwise, a good chapter.
Grammar and spelling are a problem. Proper nouns (e.g. Teufort)need capital letters. Otherwise, a good chapter.
7/16/2012 c1 Guest
Characters out of character, and a Sue? You're clever, making this troll fic look so classy I think with more humor you could make it even better!
Characters out of character, and a Sue? You're clever, making this troll fic look so classy I think with more humor you could make it even better!
7/14/2012 c1 Guest
Every single OC story on this website is the same: **. Please, put some **ing effort into it, people.
Every single OC story on this website is the same: **. Please, put some **ing effort into it, people.
7/13/2012 c1 Guest
Done great mate! Though would recommend using some funny references that are familuar . With best of luck anonnmnious. I don't care about spelling so go to 'ell ya bloody wankas!
Done great mate! Though would recommend using some funny references that are familuar . With best of luck anonnmnious. I don't care about spelling so go to 'ell ya bloody wankas!
7/12/2012 c1 Medic
Vell, you did an exlent job. You are not a dummkopf
Vell, you did an exlent job. You are not a dummkopf
7/14/2012 c1 22KingdomOfThomond
Quite a few grammatical errors here and there, so watch out for the other chapters, but the storyline looks like it would be a fairly good one.
22KingdomOfThomondQuite a few grammatical errors here and there, so watch out for the other chapters, but the storyline looks like it would be a fairly good one.