Sasami: Her young ears cannot handle the kind of abusive language this conversation involves, so she ran away screaming and holding her hands over her ears.
Ryo-Ohki: Figured, hell, if Sasami is running, I'd better run too. Besides, don't want Tenchi to catch me with the carrot I stole.
Noboyuki: He is upstairs trying on Mihoshi's underwear.
Katsuhito: He is upstair scolding Noboyuki for trying on Mihoshi's underwear. "Washu's would fit you so much better," he says.
Okay, here we go with another "too much sugar" fic.
Tenchi: You know, I really miss Sakuya.
Ryoko: WHAT?! How dare you! Don't you dare even mention that sniveling little bi***! Besides, I think she's a lesbian.
Ayeka: Sakuya is not a lesbian.
Tenchi: Sakuya is not a lesbian!
Ryoko: She is too! I saw her once getting it on with Washu.
Washu: HEY! That's my personal life your talking about! Besides, that wasn't her. It was one of those girls she hung out with at Tenchi's school.
Tenchi: Washu, you're a lesbian?!
Mihoshi and Kiyone: Washu, you're a lesbian?!
Washu: Dammit, I am not! Now look what you've done, Ryoko. I can see the tabloid headlines now: "Greatest Scientific Geinius in the Universe is Gay!" I'll never be able to undo the political damage!
Ryoko: Serves you right for not taking me and Ayeka's side about Sakuya.
Kiyone: I like Sakuya.
Ryoko and Ayeka: Shut up, you bi***! Die! [Ryoko starts firing energy blasts at Kiyone]
Mihoshi: Hey, stop that! You're gonna damage the furniture!
Kiyone: Gee, Mihoshi, thanks. Burn me alive for all anybody cares, but don't hurt the chairs!
Mihoshi: No, that's what I meant. You are my furniture! [Sits on Kiyone's lap]
Kiyone: Get off me!
Mihoshi: [Returns to her seat, blushing] I didn't like Sakuya all that much.
Ryoko and Ayeka: Hey, Mihoshi, old buddy old pal, come over here and join us!
Mihoshi: Now, wait a minute. I never said I wanted to hurt her...
Ryoko: I said get over here! [Grabs Mihoshi's arm and yanks her over to the other side of the table, but Mihoshi falls on her face, spilling her cup of boiling hot tea all over Ayeka's lap]
Ayeka: [Screams] You imbecile! You have scalded the fragile skin of royalty. I will have you executed! [Pulls out a four-foot katana and gets ready to behead Mihoshi]
Ryoko: Calm down, Ayeka. Don't execute Mihoshi. [Pulls a revolver] That's my job. [Before anyone can stop her, she shoots Mihoshi in the head. But instead of Mihoshi's brains flying everywhere, her head deflates like a balloon, her distorted face now lying draped over her neck.]
Tenchi: Ryoko! Look what you did, you shot Mihoshi! [Puts his mouth on the back of Mihoshi's neck and blows her head back up.
Mihoshi: Thanks, Tenchi. You are my hero [Hugs him tightly]
Tenchi: Anytime. In fact, Mihoshi, the hell with Ryoko and Ayeka! I choose you!
Tenchi: You heard me. I am marrying Mihoshi tommorrow, and that's that! None of you can stop me!
The Next Day:
Tenchi and Mihoshi are at the altar, about to say their vows.
Preacher: Tenchi Masaki, do take Mihoshi Kuramitsu to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold...[blah blah blah]
Tenchi: I do!
Ryoko: [Jumps up out of the audience with a sniper rifle] No you dont! [Shoots Tenchi in the head, killing him] HAHAHA! What did I tell you? If I can't have you, no one can! MWUHUHAHAHAHAHA!