WARNINGS: PG! Some obscenities I think – there was some I may have removed them. Mention of Rei/Kai but have no fear TyKa supporters. Mention of male/male relations.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Beyblade.
A/N: This is my Christmas gift to all the supporters of TyKa. Hope you had a very Merry Christmas!
Big thank you to ChainedFire for all you help and encouragement. I really appreciated your help – I'd have been stuck for ages if you hadn't pointed out the link. So thank you thank you
Not to sound obnoxious or rude or anything or that sort but I always thought that my life was pretty perfect. I was young, energetic and I was talented. Some might say lucky and I guess I was that too…am that…but there was something else.
I had friends; four great friends and I got to travel with said friends around the world whilst playing a sport that I loved more than anything else I could think of. More than sleep; more than food – and let me tell you that was certainly saying something.
But that all changed, rather quickly I might add.
It was the night before Christmas and all was still – ok I'm laying it on a bit thick aren't I? Ok what I mean was it was Christmas Eve, the house was dark and I was hungry. I crept out of my room and made my way down the hall to the kitchen. I was nearing the end of the corridor when a heard voices.
Now hearing voices is never a good sign especially when you believed you were alone. I bit my lip in surprise and then I went into full panic mode.
What do I do?
Is there a burglar?
Is he eating my snacks?
I peered around the corner and squinted in the darkness. I could see two figures sitting at the kitchen bench speaking in hushed tones. I could not make out what was being said. I relaxed, though, upon regarding their postures.
It was only Kai and Rei. I went to enter the room when I caught a snippet of conversation and promptly halted in my tracks.
"I don't think I can stay here anymore?"
What was going on? It was not uncommon for Rei or even Max to leave on occasion to visit their respective homes but Kai? What did he mean by that? Where would he go?
Away from this house?
Away from Japan?
Away from me?
No! That was unacceptable. He couldn't leave. I didn't want him to. He was….he was….part of my perfect life.
"I can't do this anymore."
Again I heard Kai's voice rise above the hushed tones. My eyes widened in disbelief. Kai was admitting to someone else that he was unable to do something. That was unheard of. It wasn't normal – or was it?
I squinted again and I could see Rei place his hand on Kai's thigh. I waited until he brushed it off. But after a moment or two it became apparent that Kai was not going to shrug off the touch.
I frowned at this. Why then would he accept a touch from Rei but not from me? Why was Rei so special? I didn't even know that those two where that close. When had this happened? Where they always this familiar with each other? How could I have missed it?
Dozens more questions flew around inside my head. Questions that I had no answers to. I was confused and upset and I turned on my heel and stalked as quietly as I possibly could back to my room.
Let them have their secret meetings about Kai's feelings in my kitchen. Let them have their quiet moments and hushed words. Let them caress each other in the soft glow of moonlight…
What did I care?
I sighed as I closed my bedroom door. I leant against it briefly.
I think I cared way too much.
The next morning I got up of my own accord as I was far too jumpy to sleep and not because it was Christmas day but because of what I had witnessed last night. It was obvious, very obvious that Rei's touch was not uncommon to Kai. And it was painfully apparent that Kai accepted his touch. For some reason that I couldn't quite place that made me feel almost physically ill.
Kai was supposed to be unreachable. He was supposed to be cold. But if he not only accepted but welcomed the touch of another that means that he wasn't who I thought he was and that made me feel inexplicitly sad.
I had failed as a friend. I took a deep breath, collapsed into the lounge and closed my eyes. Ok, what is Kai's favourite colour? That should be an easy one…but I drew a blank. I had no idea. So, what is his favourite food? Well – I know that he doesn't like sweet things….I think? Crap! I didn't even know the simplest of things how can I possibly proclaim that I knew him. Clearly I don't.
All these years I considered him to be a friend. I annoyed him and was inspired by him but I know next to nothing about who he is. Why he is who he is…
I think I frightened both Max and the Chief when I stalked into the kitchen that morn. I couldn't help the frown that played across my features nor could I seem to still the sullen mood that I had slipped into.
Nevertheless I greeted them and wished them a Merry Christmas which was accompanied with a half smile before I disappeared outside.
I guess the simple answer is that it's, you know, rather large. Ok so that was a kind of lame reason. What I mean by that is - it makes absolute perfect sense in my logic by the way - that outside is larger than the inside because there are no walls. I, therefore, have less of a chance of running into Kai or even Rei. Thusly I save myself from blurting out what I saw last night and what I thought of it.
So avoidance here seemed to be the best way to not only save myself from a potentially horrifying confrontation about my intrusion into their private moment but save my dignity as well by not allowing them see how much there tête-à-tête had affected me.
So of course what was the first thing that assaulted my eyes? The bright sunshine – no that wasn't it. The smell of roses on the gentle breeze – no that wasn't it either. It was, of course, Kai and Rei. They were sitting on the bench in the far corner of the yard. Their shoulders pressing for goodness sake; I mean any closer and Rei would have been sitting on Kai's lap. And by the looks of things Kai wouldn't have minded either. My eyes narrowed as I focussed on their closeness and the clear intimacy as they spoke in hushed tones with their heads bowed low in conspiracy. I glared at them but neither looked up; they were too enraptured in themselves. My stomach dropped as I realised. I couldn't believe that I had never noticed it. How blind was I?
I didn't even feel them approaching until a warm hand clapped over my shoulder. I swear I jumped out of my skin. I whirled around and was confronted with the concerned eyes of Max and Kenny…well I assume Kenny's eyes were concerned because well I knew that he had eyes…I mean he had to have them he wore glasses after all. Just because you have never seen anything does not mean that it doesn't exist.
"What's wrong Ty?"
"Nothing," I grunted out after I got over my scare. I turned away from them a silently fumed as I watched them again.
"Obviously something is up Tyson. You aren't yourself."
I didn't bother with an answer.
"Please tell us Ty. It is Christmas and you are acting strange."
"I'm acting strange…I'm acting strange! Pfft!"
A few moments passed and I heard only silence from behind me but I knew they were still there.
I felt everything leave me, my posture softened and my anger dissipated.
"Did you know that Kai was in love?" I whispered in an undertone.
I heard the rush of air that told me that Max had been holding his breath and the soft gasp that couldn't only be Kenny's. "You knew didn't you?" I accused.
"Yes, we knew. We both knew," Max breathed.
I nodded stiffly, "Why didn't you tell me?" I hissed.
"It wasn't up to us. It wasn't our secret to tell Tyson," Kenny whispered.
I didn't say another word but I brushed past them both without eye contact. They had kept me out of the loop. I mean I can see their point. It is Kai's life and Kai's choice but somehow I couldn't help but feeling betrayed. It was like they had all lied to me.
Christmas Dinner rolled around. It was just a small affair, the guys, Gramps and Kenny's parents and Max's dad. I pointedly ignored Rei and Kai all evening. I knew that it was childish but I just couldn't except that they were together and that they hadn't told me. Although I knew which was making me more upset.
After dinner everyone gathered beneath the Christmas tree and exchanged gifts. I handed Kenny and his parents their gifts, wrapped as best as I could, a miniature tool kit and a serving platter respectively. And I gave Max and his Dad their gifts next, nothing really exciting; a photo album and a nice frame – so they could catalogue their times in America better. I knew that they only had the photos stored in a box at the moment. I paused before I handed Rei his present. I had had so much trouble searching for something for him but in the end I got him a wide silver bangle that housed a centred black onyx stone. It was delicate looking without being girly. I liked it and I thought that it would look good on him. I knew that Onyx was the Stone of Self Mastery and Self Control. So it enhances steadfastness, self mastery, determination and setting one's mind to a task. It is referred to as a grounding stone and it can be used to deflect or absorb the negativity of others and in that way is a good stone for protection from negative forces and influences 1. I knew that Rei prided himself on being a master of his own self control but I knew that he struggled with it and he had worries and problems like the rest of us.
I gave Gramps his gift which was a new Chess set. I knew that we would like it because he had been hinted for months that that was what he wanted, since he had somehow misplaced half the Chess pieces from his original set. How he had managed to do that I still had no idea.
The last person I had to give my gift to and the last person that I had to receive one from was Kai. I was so nervous. I wanted him to like it but at the same time I wanted to chuck it at him and scream blue murder. But I didn't. I just handed it to him silently and then left without wishing him a Merry Christmas or even saying a word; without waiting for him to give me my gift in return.
I stood up and left my gifts still wrapped were they lay beside me on the floor and I made my way to the back door. I knew I shouldn't have but I peered over my shoulder and witnessed Rei put his arm around Kai. My heart leapt to my throat and I made a mad dash for the sliding doors no longer caring to appear in any way inconspicuous.
I stepped out unto the patio and looked out into the night. It was raining pretty hard but I didn't care. I moved out from under the shelter and onto the already soaked grass. I was drenched from head to tow in a matter of seconds.
I looked to the heavens; my eyes squinting as to not be flooded with rain. The droplets splattered themselves against my skin and stung my cheeks with their force. Not that I minded much. I couldn't think of anything bar Kai's half smile – well something that had some semblance to a smile and Rei's arms around him.
I half sighed, I always liked the stars it was a shame that it was cloudy and gloomy tonight. Isn't it just so weird when the weather seemed to match your mood explicitly? It was rather creepy actually.
I could feel the treks that the rain had made as they continued their suicide mission to Earth that would eventually bring life. The old trails were erased as new ones were written over them. I licked my lips and I was surprised to find that the rain tasted slightly salty. Now I was quite confused. Rain doesn't taste salty. Rain just tastes – well – like rain. Only tears taste salty…well sweat too but I was completely certain that I was not perspiring at the present moment.
Wait a second. Tears. Salty. Taste. Oh My Goodness! I was crying.
Why was I crying?
This was so stupid. I wiped my eyes. Ok so that action was stupider considering I was standing in a rainstorm.
Why couldn't I stop crying?
I was internally berating myself when I heard the glass doors slide open. I tensed out of habit but I did not turn around. I did not face my comrade as he came to stand beside me in the middle of Nature's tantrum. I did not look but I knew it was Kai. How did I know? I always know when he is around. I just do.
After a moment silence I couldn't take it anymore. "What is it that you want?'
"We need to talk."
Ah tch! Know he wanted to talk to me after he had kept me in the dark for goodness knows how long.
"I don't want to hear it," I bit out. I didn't. I truly didn't. He was going to tell me that he was madly and deeply in love with Rei and that he was moving away from me so he could be alone with him.
"I never gave you your present. I didn't know what to give you," he whispered to me.
Ok so it seems that he is not going to listen to me about not listening to him. Unfortunately for me the moment he speaks I can not help but hear.
"I asked a friend, a very wise friend, someone you know quite well, what I should get you and he gave me some really good advice. Advice that I didn't want to take because I was too afraid…" he trailed off.
I think my eyes must have just about boggled out of my head. Kai just admitted he was afraid of something. This night was getting weirder and weirder. What was that he had said? A wise friend? Someone I knew? Who did I know that was wise? My jaw probably dropped when I realised which friend he was talking about.
"He told me to give you what I cherish most…"
My heart skipped a beat and almost stopped completely he tentatively placed his hands on my waist. Kai tilted my head up so that I could not escape the searing magenta flames. He lent towards me and I swear my knees wobbled. That wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me. That was what happened to girls in stories. He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, a chaste sweet kiss that promised so much more.
"…my heart….Merry Christmas Tyson," he breathed across my lips.
I was in a trance. Kai had kissed me. Oh my God! Kai had just told me he loved me. True in a round about way – but I am not so blind that I can not read between the lines. Oh my God!
I felt like doing a little jig but I restrained myself. Instead I raised my eyes to once again look into his dark eyes and I smiled. I put him at ease and the relief showed on his face. He pressed me to him and held me tight.
As I lay my cheek against his chest I listened to his thundering heart under cold cloth and warm skin. I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist. Kai cherished his sanity, his individuality, his pride and his love for me.
And although I hold all of those things sacred…it was moments like these that I would always cherish; holding the one that I cared for in my arms on a dark night in a rainstorm. Ok, so not the prefect conditions. But the perfect person so all was well.
My life was pretty perfect after all.
1 I dunno if I interpreted this correctly – I probably didn't but it was taken from 'GemstoneGifts; 2004'
I really hope that you liked it. I had so much trouble with it. If you didn't then all the best somewhere else then. I hope that it wasn't too confusing and that you could understand it even though I only ever showed the situations from Tyson's perspective.