Chocolate, Love, and Revenge

OR: Chocolate, Love, and Other Things a Mid-Life Crisis Involves

Disclaimer: How many times must we go over this people?

A/N: This came out of nowhere…

"Ow! Minerva, what was that for?" Albus Dumbledore rubbed the sore spot on his head where the coffee mug had just hit him.

"YOU STOLE MY CHOCOLATE ALBUS!" The Transfiguration professor shrieked loudly. "That's the THRID time in the past TWO months! Buy your own goddamn chocolate you prat!" The Irish beauty's black hair had escaped from its tight bun, and her hazel eyes were flashing dangerously. Unfortunately for Albus, he paid no attention.

"Now, now Minerva, calm down. It was only a teeny tiny bit of the stuff anyway, nothing to get hysterical over." Under his breath he added, "I had no idea the menstrual period had such an affect on women."

There was an inhuman shriek of rage, followed by the sound of smashed pottery. Albus Dumbledore sprinted out of the teacher's lounge. He was followed closely by a hissing tabby cat.

As he sprinted into the Great Hall he came upon one of his 'oh-so-ingenious' plans. It involved a bowl of mashed potatoes, a quickly aimed summoning charm, and if all went well, his escape. It also helped that there were plenty of students and teachers around to witness his demise if he should fail.

The enraged feline skidded around the corner into the doors and chased the sorcerer between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables. Just as she was about to sink her pointy teeth in to the man's bottom, she was assaulted by a porcelain bowl full of some creamy substance. 'Hmmmm….mashed pota- THAT, THAT, ARGGGGGGGG!'

The students all gasped in shock as their usually formidable professor transformed into a gravy and potato covered, red-in-the-face, glaring like she wanted to tell you exactly where you can stick your wand, woman.

"Albus, darling." She slid up to the newly named Headmaster, "Why don't you tell me," She was all but purring in his ear, "What EXACTLY WERE YOU THINKING YOU GREAT CLOD!"

She shook her self off as she stalked out of the Hall, and some unfortunate Hufflepuff found himself sprayed with the potatoes. Someone giggled. And someone snorted. Pretty soon the entire had erupted in laughter. Albus sniffed haughtily and stormed out the door, making sure to glare at Nearly-Headless Nick as the ghost laughed his head off (literally).

Minerva sighed as she stood under the running shower in her private rooms. How she would kill for some chocolate. But that was what had started the whole ordeal in the first place she reminded herself. Some times that man… 'But,' argued the other half of her head, 'sometimes that man was completely and utterly wonderful.'

Startled she shook her head vigorously. She shouldn't be thinking those thoughts. Albus was strictly a friend, well okay, and an enemy sometimes. She was just having strange thoughts because of what time of the month it was. 'Yes that's it, nothing more.' She told herself over and over again. But as she brushed out her hair later, a shadow of doubt wedged itself in her mind, refusing to let her think of anything else for the rest of the night.

A/N: Okay that was random, Review, and tell me if you want me to continue. I'm also welcome to suggestions. Flame too if you want.