A/n: Hi! Hello! Bonjour! Guten Tag! Hallo! (…yeah, I wanted to do something weird, heh…)
For all the readers who might know me already (…and I think there ARE a few of them…lol!), you've seen it well…I've quit the other story. Aargh!
Aw, come on, I've totally HAD it with that story! I mean, I got SO MANY chapters! And it was just a sequel! Pffff! I really don't want to finish that story anymore. Nope. Sorry for the readers who might like that story, but hey, admit it….it really is TOO MUCH .
….so, for all ya old readers, forget what I wrote. I'm going to try it again by making another story. AAARGH! AGAIN! Yep! Ain't that fun .
…so, please don't kill me for stopping! sweat drop I'll try to make it up by you with a new story. I really will. Yeah. Cookies.
Oh, and I think you might already know what this story is about, lol! But it's not like "Somethin' is gonna happen!". So. It's something with Anti Cosmo and Anti Wanda and such. Figures.
Just try it, okay? You never know…you might even like it!
It really was late already.
VERY late, probably one, two, maybe even three o'clock? Aw, Anti Cosmo didn't even know. Like it did matter! He was here, with his mistress and secret girlfriend (oooh, SUSPENSE!) Anti Foxy, and really, WHY would he CARE about time!
…don't answer that. Just a rhetorical question. So shut your trap, lol.
He and Anti Foxy were just lying in HER bed at HER place, just chatting after they had…yeah, you know what. Anti Foxy felt great. It was so cozy and nice and fantastic to lay in the same bad as Anti Cosmo… To BE with him, and to hear him complain about being locked up in the Anti Fairyworld…
Everything he said sounded like something romantic to her, even when he began to explain Anti Foxy how he would kill Jorgen von Strangle to have the best results (Strangle him! Strangle him!), once he had found a way out of this enormous jail…
'…it is so frustrating, dear Anti Foxy…Why are we, Anti fairies, trapped in this absurd, GREEN-looking cell of doom! Why aren't we allowed to fly around like a bunch of fools! Why can't we pass the Gate! It is so unfair, I say! We are being treated like…like outcasts! Outcasts of the society!' Anti Cosmo preached, while Anti Foxy was making circles on his belly.
She listened to his nagging on this "society"-thing he was talking about, and chuckled. 'Be honest, Anti Cosmo: we ARE outcasts! Major ones! And tell me, sweetie: what would you do on the FIRST place when we actually DID escape from this world?'
Anti Cosmo frowned. 'On the first place? Well, I would fly over to that large buffoon of a Jorgen von strangle to yank all his nails out of this fingers and toes! Yes, I think that would be quite the first thing I would do!...'
He started to laugh like a friggin' maniac, what caused his mistress to giggle softly: oh, she was crazy about him…she liked him so much! He was just so darn HOT! And smart! And just too perfect!
…but as usual, everyone has got something what makes him/her less perfect than you thought he/she is…the same thing was with Anti Cosmo. Anti Foxy now suddenly felt something awful, the same feeling she felt when her boyfriend had told her his problem for the first time…
HE WAS FREAKIN'MARRIED!
'…Anti Cosmo?' Anti Foxy slowly asked, forcing Anti Cosmo to look into her bright, orange eyes. 'Yes dearest?' he nodded calmly, certainly not afraid to look back at her.
Anti Foxy sniffed, and sat up. '…when are you going to do it? When are you going to ditch your dimwitted wife?'
The happy, joyful feeling Anti Cosmo had inside of him, disappeared like snow in summer. He knew exactly about which person Anti Foxy was talking about…
'Who do you mean, love?' though he innocently said.
'Listen honey, how many times have you, since your marriage with Anti Wanda, cheated on her!' his mistress sighted.
Whoa. Well, that was quite a hard question. 'How many times?' Anti Cosmo scratched his head, '…constantly, I suppose. Kind of obvious, if you ask me. Why?'
'Well, why doesn't she leave you then? Doesn't she know?' Anti Foxy pressed the point.
'Pfff, I don't know! She's as stupid as a cow, you know that!' He sure sounded cranky. He ALWAYS sounded cranky, if a conversation was about his wife.
She decided to make the question a bit different. '…let me put it this way…why don't you leave her, if I may ask!' She heard him groaning, but ignored it. She had enough of this.
'…Anti Wanda is a stupid, ugly, foolish and nasty Anti fairy, right? Well, she is also very lonely because of that! If I let her hit the road, she will be on her own! She won't survive that! Besides, as long as Cosmo and Wanda are together AND married, I can't ditch her just like that.' Anti Cosmo explained.
'…that rule doesn't count if one of the two of you cheats on the other: then she IS allowed to leave you! They made up that rule last week. Pretty cool, I think…' His mistress frowned a bit, '…I don't get Anti Wanda, why does she accept it! You are fooling around with me since…a very long time!'
Anti Cosmo yawned casually. '…oh, I don't know, dear. Ask her! But then you've got the risk to ask the same question a couple of times: it really is difficult to get her attention. Believe me, I know! So good luck to you.'
Anti Foxy smiled amused, and poked him. '…hey, not so bold, you!'
Anti Cosmo grinned, and kissed her. '…well, good-night, Anti Foxy. Time to sleep.'
'…are you staying, tomorrow?' She looked up at him in curiosity.
'Have you lost your mind!' he answered, kind of shocked, '…last time I was later back home than usual, the whole house was covered in chocolate, and there where firemen who tried to put out the fire that was brewing inside the kitchen!'
'Shock and terror!' Anti Foxy gasped.
'You can say that again! Later, Anti Wanda told me she had tried to make some brownies…but she thought it was boring, so then she decided to cover our house in chocolate pudding. That was quite a shock. You should have seen the look on her face when they had rescued her from the roof:
"Looky here, Anti Cosmo! I've fetched ya some cookies!"
…Oh boy, she's totally out of her mind!' Anti Cosmo started to laugh when he remembered that grinning, "I-did-nothing-wrong"-face of Anti Wanda again.
Anti Foxy sniffed again, but somewhat louder. '…fine. Then you leave early tomorrow. Like I care. Whatever.'
She lay down, turned around, and fell asleep quickly.
Anti Cosmo looked from her back, to the ceiling, to the telephone. Would Anti Wanda have locked all he doors of the house? Did she know where he was? What if robbers came to steal all of his furniture? That twit caused him so many worries…
Sighting, he decided to call his own number. After hearing a monotone 'BEEEEP' three times, the phone at his home was picked up.
'HELLOOOOOOOOO!' somebody screamed through the telephone with an extreme loud, screeching voice.
Anti Cosmo almost fell out of Anti Foxy's bed when he heard his wife yell that high and annoying! Luckily enough, his mistress didn't wake up. He took a deep breathe.
'…hello Anti Wanda. It's me.'
He just could hear her thinking about who this guy could be, and groaned desperately. '….um…Santa Clause?' Anti Wanda finally guessed.
'…no.' Anti Cosmo dryly remarked.
'…oh! Um…the Tooth Fairy? Easter Bunny? Cupid? Daddy? Mommy? No, mommy of Anti Cozzie!' she said, '…HEY MAMA ANTI COSMAAA! YER SON ISN'T HOOOME!'
Anti Cosmo smacked his forehead, rolling his eyes. Let's skip the greeting part, then.
'Anti Wanda, it's Anti Cosmo. You know. Your unfortunate husband. Remember?'
A really long, deep, frightening silence. Anti Cosmo heard her playing with the lead of the phone, humming the soundtrack of Pokemon Tha Movie. 'Hey, who's this!' she suddenly asked.
'Your HUSBAND, you idiotic bird!' Anti Cosmo snarled, getting tired of her, but not too loud because Anti Foxy was still kipping next to him, '…I'm Anti Cosmo! Bowler, British accent, monocle?'
'OOooooOOOh!...' Anti Wanda warbled happily, '…Hiya, hon!'
Anti Cosmo didn't understand, but Anti Wanda always gave him pet names. Why she did that was a big question mark for him: he never acted nice to her, so why should she! He used to snap at her to not-call him "hon" or whatever, but she always ignored him then. Or she just forgot.
He decided to go further. '…listen, have you locked the doors?'
Anti Wanda began to roar with laughter: her loud "hyuk hyuk hyuk"-laugh filled Anti Foxy's room, and Anti Cosmo's mistress was moving a bit disturbed.
'What's so funny!' Anti Cosmo hissed through the phone, watching Anti Foxy nervously.
'Oh, hyuk hyuk! I saw I'm wearing my pants wrong! Hyuk hyuk! What did ya say?' she tittered.
Anti Cosmo wanted to scream out of frustration and yell very wrong swearing words, so he put his hand over the phone in case he did: if his wife heard those words, she would repeat them for the rest of his miserable life!
'…are the doors locked, Anti Wanda?' he managed to say.
'Yep, they sure are! And there's a really pretty black smudgy spot on the ceiling! Y'know, if I hold my head to the right, it looks like…a smudgy spot…' she muttered, like she was thinking about something very special.
Anti Wanda's conversations never were about anything.
'…good girl, Anti Wanda. Now go back to bed, okay? Leave the nice spot alone.' Anti Cosmo sighted, glad the conversation was almost over.
'…hm-hm…Hey, who is this, actually!' she suddenly reacted on his suggestion.
Anti Cosmo gritted his teeth. '…Anti Cosmo...see you later, Anti Wanda...'
'OOooooOOOh!' she chirped, '…Hi hon! Bye hon! Say hi to what's-her-face from me, okay! Smell ya later!'
Anti Cosmo heard her smacking the horn enthusiastically…next to the telephone. 'Weird thing! Damn ya, phone!' she grumbled from the background.
'…difficult, isn't it, Anti Wanda…Hanging up really is getting way too hard, these days…' Anti Cosmo mumbled annoyed.
'Hanging up?' Anti Wanda asked, '…on the ceiling, ya mean? Okay hon! I'll put the phony next to the spotty! One…two…five!'
'…Anti Wanda, you are not going to…'
'…heavens, she's so stupid…' Anti Cosmo said, and put the telephone down. He noticed he was smiling a bit.
Sure, she was way too annoying for a gentleman like he, but yes, he did have a weak spot for his wife…
A/n: …and there's more coming, teehee! So, what did ya think about it? Tell me! Tell me, and I'll grant all your wishes! …um…if I can, heh…