Okay, I don't write poems. My friend wrote this in like five seconds (quite literally, really) and I edited it. Warning, there are character deaths... ahem, anyway, moving on...

The usual disclaimer stuff: I – or my friend, since she wrote it – don't own the characters.

Twiddledum said, "Twiddledee,
let's have an epic battle
because my dearest Twiddledee,
you stole my favourite rattle."
Twiddledee said, "Twiddledum
I don't know what you're saying.
I'd never take anything of yours."
He was playing with the rattle.
Twiddledum said to Twiddledee
"YOU ARE SUCH A FAGGOT!
I can see you're playing with it,
so give it back, you stupid maggot."
And he attacked little Twiddledee
with drumsticks and some chicken.
And Twiddledee retaliated
with saucepans and a nickel.
Then along came a big fat crow
and sat on both of them.
So Twiddledum and Twiddledee
came to their jolly end.