Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers. So don't try to buy them from me. Please don't get all offended because I mocked your favorite Ranger. I try to mock them all. Besides, it's just for fun. I really do enjoy the show :). 'Hi" to all from AFPR…especially my fellow Psychos. Please let me know if I make any errors. I have no difficulty with receiving constructive criticism. Thanks to Joe Rovang and SirStack for their Writer's Guide to the Power Rangers Universe, which I rely on a lot. Also thanks to the makers of the Power Rangers Central Database.
If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred stories in "When Rangers Meet" and "More of When Rangers Meet."
This is story number 50.
Sky and Clare
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
Sky cursed to himself as he drove to his newest assignment. He would get Jack back if it was the last thing he ever did. The former Red Ranger had tattled to Cruger about Sky's tendency to go from room to room for his nightly make out sessions with Syd, Z, Sophie, Kat, Cadet Lewis, Cadet Murphy, Isinia… So what? Could he help it if the ladies really loved him? And when that hadn't gotten the big blue dog angry, Jack then left a secret video of Sky imitating him just before he left, complete with howling, frothing at the mouth, and sniffing a very puzzled Bridge's butt. Sky had tried to argue that it had been Jack's idea in the first place and that at least he wasn't the one who whizzed all over the hall floor. But it was no use.
So, here he was busted down to an H squad cadet. Which was quite embarrassing considering the lowest rank at SPD was F squad. He now had to patrol where no one wanted to patrol…the haunted forest of New Tech's neighboring town, Briarwood. There had been complaints about some witch or spirit that was haunting the forest.
Sky sighed as he turned onto a path leading through the trees…and got caught between them. Of course, his SPD patrol cycle would've gone through, but Cruger had seen fit to reassign him to a clunky 1977 Sedan police car instead. He cursed again as he grabbed his gear and trudged through the woods until he reached the source of the disturbance.
"Ok, let's see is it cauldron burn and fire bubble?" came a woman's frazzled voice from inside a structure that surprisingly looked like a dragon's head. "So, that's what happened to the legendary Dragonzord," thought Sky. "I always thought it just got decommissioned."
POOF! "Oh no, not snort a warthog snort again!" came the woman's voice. "Why can't I get this stuff right? When am I going to come into my own like Udonna promised?" When are that bitch and her family ever coming back? thought Clare grouchily. They had never returned from their motorcycle trip; at least not to Rootcore. From the letter Madison sent her over twenty years ago, Nick had come back and picked her up. Clare crinkled her nose in remembering the accompanying photo. She just wasn't too sure that the Blue Mystic Force Ranger riding naked with her helmet strategically placed below her waist was a safe thing to do.
Bang Bang Bang came the sound from the cavern's closed entrance. "Oh, goody, snort company!" POOF! "Oh quack no, not a quack phony doctor again!"
Bang Bang Bang "Police! Open up!" commanded Sky. "We've been getting complaints from the neighbors!" He waited for a minute. Bang Bang Bang "Open this door!" he commanded again.
"I can't!" whined Clare through the cracks in the door. "I can't find the quack door opening spell!" She hadn't been out of Rootcore in the past twenty-six years, not since Udonna had left. Luckily for her, Phineas had taken to dropping supplies down the chimney. Well, that was until he became too busy raising his and Leelee's kids after she decided to go back to the underworld and beg anyone who was left to take her on as vampire queen. She just couldn't deal with all sixteen crazed, drooling, smelly, vamphumatroblins. It seemed that certain species just shouldn't mix.
Sky sighed. "If you don't open up this second, I'm breaking in!" he warned.
POOF! "Oh, mooooo let me mooooo get some tea on then." Crash! "Oh!" whined Clare, "I hate moooo it when I moooo have no hands!"
"That does it!" shouted Sky who was very annoyed and quite disturbed by the sounds emanating from the strange place. He backed up, then positioned himself shoulder forward in order to ram the door down. Then he remembered the first thing he was supposed to do when trying to force a door down. He sauntered over to the door, turned the knob, and pulled it open.
"My hero!" squealed the middle-aged woman with wild blonde hair who was standing in the oddest room Sky had ever seen. It looked as if it had come out of a witch's version of Home and Garden, complete with cauldron, spell books, and many bottles of mysterious ingredients lining shelves along the walls. "You must be a great sorcerer to have overcome the closed door curse."
Sky stared at her incredulously. "Ok, Lady, either you have been purposely impeding police procedure or you are completely insane." He watched as she began dancing around, waving what looked to be like a magic wand in the air. "I think I'll opt for the latter. But, either way, you have been disturbing the neighbors, so I am going to have to take you in." He held out a pair of old-fashioned handcuffs and attempted to grab Clare. Of course it would've been far easier if he still had his morpher with its judgment mode.
POOF! Just as the police officer was about to grab her, Clare turned into yet another creature. "Oh no, not another…oh wait, maybe this one will actually be useful."
"It's not possible!" gasped Sky as Clare seemed to disappear before his eyes. He began to examine the floor for a possible trap door. Two seconds later, Sky was covered with pigeon poop. "Aaaaggghhhh! My uniform!" he cried. "My beautiful neat uni…. oh what does it matter?" he groused. It was only a too large, second hand policeman's uniform, not his lovely Red Ranger suit. Tears came to his eyes as he recalled how perfectly the spandex fit against his muscular body, causing Syd, Z, Sophie, Kat, Cadet Lewis, Cadet Murphy, Isinia…
"Oh dear," said the pigeon as it landed in front of Sky. She turned back into her human form. "Are you all right?" she asked the now sobbing man.
But Sky had quickly forgotten his own sorrows when he realized what had just happened. "WITCH!" he screamed. "I shall capture you and end your evil reign on this land!" Soon, very soon, he would come back to SPD as a hero and reclaim his rightful title of SPD Red Ranger.
Clare was offended at this. "I am not evil and I am not a witch. I happen to be a sorceress on the side of good. I even helped out the Mystic Force Rangers years ago." She smiled happily, "and now that you have freed me, I can go around Briarwood, nay the world using my magic for good…POOF!….oh no! Not a baaaa sheep again!"
But Sky would have none of it. He grabbed a handy rope and tied the sheep to a wooden beam. "You can't fool me, Witch. Everyone knows that Udonna the Unbelievable single-handedly used her magic to help the Rangers defeat the Master. It's all in her autobiography. Besides, if you were so wonderful, you wouldn't be upsetting your neighbors."
"Neighhhhhhhhbors?" queried Clare who had just acquired the form of a horse. "What neighhhhhhbors? I'm in the middle of nowhere!"
Sky sighed and pulled out the warrant. "According to this, some guy named Toby complained that he is constantly hearing loud music and explosions and wants us to close down this Rootcore."
Clare, who had again turned back into her human form, scowled at this. "Toby? But he lives in town, not here. I can't see…of course, Nikki," Clare scowled. "She must've convinced Toby to do this so she could get me back for being a cuter blonde girl than Leelee." What Clare didn't know was that this had actually been the Rock Porium owner's idea. He was hoping to snatch up Rootcore in order to expand his booming business.
"Well, you'll just have to convince a judge about that, won't you?" sneered Sky. "And since I have a search warrant, I can collect evidence of your witchcraft." He began to grab bottles and other paraphernalia that laid around the large room and toss them into a sack.
"Be careful how you handle that stuff!" warned Clare. "If some of those ingredients get mixed the wrong way, who knows what might happen?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm a trained police officer. I know what I'm do…." SMASH!
"What was that?" asked Clare a bit anxiously.
Sky examined the broken object. "Oh nothing, just some cheap tiara. Tin-plated, I believe."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Clare. "My tiara! My mother's tiara! Now I'll never be able to morph into the Gatekeeper again!"
"Huh? The what? What kind of goofy title is….YEEEEEK!" screeched Sky as an angry python suddenly charged for him. "Snakes! I hate snakes!" He ran towards the door. "Oh wait, what am I doing?" He waved his hand and created a shield around himself. "Hahahaha you can't get me!" he called to the rhino that was now charging him. "You can't get me! You can't get me! You can't…." Crash…POOF! Several of the potion bottles had smashed together as Sky swung his sack around. "Hey!" he cried as he realized that his shield had turned into a solid cage and he had turned into a bunny. "Let me out!"
"Ooh," squealed the now human again Clare. "I always did want a pet. I'm going to feed you and hug you and squeeze you all to pieces!"
Bunny Sky desperately began to chew on the cage as Clare approached him with a cute pink doll dress.
AN: Okay, I know the ending was lame, but it's what I came up with. I will be starting the next set of fifty stories soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing.