3-16-06. Yikes! I knew there was something I kept forgetting to do! points at "Snipers" See! I can finish what I start! Well, if the wind is blowing in the right direction and the moon is in the right phase #g#
General Hammond has his say….
General Hammond frowned at the list. Did he remember the report that had caused this one.
82. "It's cultural" is no defence for your attire.
He wracked his brains as he tried to bring to mind which teams had been on diplomatic missions in recent days.
82a. Even if you have proof.
Ah. That rung a bell. SG-11, he decided. Again.
82b. Nor is it an excuse for THAT dance.
But that was different writing. Which meant there was quite probably something sitting on his desk from last night.
With a sigh, he headed down to his office. Sergeant Harriman would know what was going on.
Well, he had just known, after that particular debriefing with SG-6, that the incident with that flying thing from P3X-941 was going to make it to the list. And there it was, large as life.
83. Once again. You may not keep it as a pet.
He was quite surprised that the Captain hadn't actually nailed the creature to the board after it had bitten him twice, though the discussion - if he could call the shouting match which had headed out of his office that - had obviously continued well out of earshot.
83a. If you continue to ask, you and said "pet" will be sent to area 51 for…. Testing.
Frowning, he pulled out a pen.
83b. No one is to be sent to Area 51 for testing without the approval of at least two senior officers and Dr Fraiser.
Satisfied, he headed home, hoping against hope that the list updates would, if not stop entirely, then at least slow down a little.
Even knowing his teams as he did, he rolled his eyes at the next entry.
84. Skippy is not your hero.
They really did have a knack for egging each other on, didn't they. It also appeared that there had been some objection to the original entry.
84a. No, really.
It was with something akin to surprise that he realised the second entry was his 2IC's handwriting. He would have thought that Jack would be all for it.
Upon passing the list that morning, he had to give full marks for the ingenuity of the CO who had thought to use that punishent.
85. Teams are not to be sent to "the naughty step". This is against fire regulations.
However, he found himself returning to add to it early in the afternoon after an amusing but potentially deadly variation on the theme.
85a. "The naughty gate-ramp" is not a good idea.
It might not stop them, but maybe attempts to make the list would become less showy….
Jack had reported seeing a laughing sergeant Bateman writing on the list and he had felt the need to investigate what the stores sergeant was up to.
86. Don't say "yes" unless you know what the question is.
Well, that was cryptic. Nothing obvious sprung to mind, but he had little doubt that the scuttlebut would eventually reach him. And if not, he could always ply Dr Jackson with coffee. The young man was wise to his scheme, but quite happy to divulge information provided he wasn't obliged to also supply names and dates.
The next morning, he caught up with the list and only just succeeded in holding back a wince.
87. Carbonated drinks are not to be given to visitors from off-world.
No, he had to agree, that was a very bad idea. Not having the technology to create such beverages, he was certain that they would either be wary of the drinks, or accuse the SGC of trying to poison them.
87a. This counts double for cola.
Or, he conceded, get their kids hopped up on sugar. And he really wished that he didn't listen to the rumour mill quite so closely.
88. Some things should not be explained.
In fact, some things he would much prefer were not explained. Such, for example, as the reason behind this latest entry.
As he left for the evening, the next two entries; apropos of nothing but rather, it seemed, from general observation of situations around the base
89. Choosing an inadvisable course of action is not to be referred to as "doing a Kinsey".
89a. Or "doing a Makepeace".
Somehow, he just knew what was coming next.
Maybe he was telepathic. Maybe he should get that checked out by Dr Fraiser.
90. If you miraculously survive against enormous odds, do not claim to have "done an SG-1".
On second thoughts, maybe he should find out if insanity was catching and take a vacation. He could take his grand-daughters to the zoo. Or maybe a shopping mall on second thoughts. The zoo would be more of a busman's holiday….
Resignedly, General Hammond made another entry on the list. It was somewhat distressing as a commanding officer that you had to explicitly state that certain events were not to be entered onto the list; doubly so when you passed it in the evening to find that entries had been tipexed out in order to comply with orders.
91. Deliberately pursuing a course of action in order to appear on the list will result in one week of unpaid leave.
He had the distinct feeling that fewer odd events were going to be officially reported from now on. He could live with that. After all, plausible deniability was a wonderful thing.
Just the epilogue to go now J