Hello. I've written this story a while ago, last month I think, and I had already posted it up on Livejournal where people have already read it. To be honest with you I have many, many completed oneshots I host there and not here. This is one of them. I'll try to work on The Good on the Bad soon. I hope you like it.
It was one of those things that was better off a secret.
And even if no one noticed, all Hell broke loose when I was even unable to keep it from myself.
But that's what I was good at. Keeping secrets.
Even if she could see right through me, it was worth it.
I met her before our Hogwarts years, when I was merely the age of seven. It was her seventh birthday, my parents knew hers, and I seemed to be the only one without any notice of the sudden change of plans. The Malfoy family usually never left the house to visit another, it would always be them to come to us, but this was different.
She was different.
Mother had picked out the best clothes for me that day, and as much as I disgusted the thought of showing respect to a little girl I did not even personally know, I obeyed without hesitation. At such a young age I did not understand what it meant to have a positive first impression, but that was never a problem for the Malfoys. We were always looked at as wealthy and prosperous.
It was that very same day where I entered a home, and for the first time, a residence that was almost as spacious as our own. My parents have been here several times, so it was no surprise to them, however I could hardly believe it. The ceiling was a mile high and the velvet curtains were a deep, maroon color. The floor was polished and black, while the staircase in front of the Entrance split apart, directing to the left and right wings of the house.
Her parents approached Mother and Father, and I stood there in silence awkwardly. Her mother complimented on how much of a gentleman I was, and she seemed to be rather fond of my clothing. Mother grew deep into conversation with her mother, reviewing over their previous talks during their various tea times. Her father, however, did not say a word to me. That firm stare of his had always kept me quiet.
After quite talk, and after listening to the discussion between the four of them, her mother had instructed me to go to her room and introduce myself. We would be having dinner soon, and it was now my duty to escort her down to the Dining Hall. I grimaced and refused the throught at first, but I did not want to have to deal with more lectures later, so I walked up the stairs to the left wing.
There was a series of doors on both the left and right walls of the hallway, and I suddenly had a burning determination to open each and every one of those doors. But I told myself then not to pester around, so I walked to the end of the hall as instructed, and opened the door. The very first time I laid eyes on her.
Unlike most of the areas in her residence, the walls were plain white but not too casual. Two crimson armchairs resided by a wall, her enormous closet was embedded into her right wall, several rugs and shelves stood here and there, and her bed was a soft, icy pink. She sat on top of her neatly folded blankets, running a brush through her short, dark hair quietly. It took her a while to notice I was at the door.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Draco. Draco Malfoy."
"What are you doing in the Parkinson Estate?"
"It's your seventh birthday, isn't it? My family was invited here."
She nodded in awareness and stood up from her bed, and that was when I noticed the clothing she wore. It was a dress, unlike any I've seen before. Deep red in color, the ends of her dress had cream colored frills and the sleeves were rather long so that only half of her fingers showed. She wore black shoes and she had a rather pleasant scent to her. Like flowers.
"I'm Pansy. It's nice to meet you."
And without any warning, she slipped her arm aside mine as she began to escort me down the hallway; it was completely opposite of what our parents were expecting when we went down the stairs. It did not take me long to decide to tell her what our parents wanted to see, and to my surprise she listened and allowed me to guide her down the fleet of stairs.
Our mothers beamed at the sight and we were taken to the dining hall for dinner, which, not to my surprise, appeared to be able to fit more people than I could imagine. Over the course of dinner I did not speak much, I did catch Pansy staring at me every now and then, but I just let it off. I thought it was quite disgusting, actually.
But that was my mistake.
When I had turned eleven and recieved my Hogwarts letter, I was informed that Pansy would be attending the school as well. It was on the Hogwarts Express where I had first met Crabbe and Goyle, and sort of used them to my advantage, for I found no liking to Pansy at all. She had tried to accompany us in our compartment, but I had refused her prescence. Pansy immediately took this to her disliking and threw a couple of insults at us, strutting away to join Daphne Greengrass and Millicent Bulstrode instead.
I haven't always approved of her acceptance. She was just another girl. Another Slytherin girl.
Through some experience, I have taken the thought that Pansy actually thought she could be an equal. My equal. That was clearly impossible, I hardly even knew the girl, and if she kept asking for some spare time together, it was never going to work. However, I did not turn her away whenever she approached to talk to me, I was always rather interested in what she had to say. Whether it be a question about Potions homework or a compliment, I was always there to listen. She understood the fact that she was not within bounds of becoming a part of us, but as much as she wanted to be, she stopped herself from begging so much.
Our first two Hogwarts years had driven by quite fast, the same, ever-so-Saintly Potter had eaten up all the glory and it was now our third year. It wasn't until then I realized how much Pansy had cared, after all.
It started out as normal as it could be, and one day in Magical Creatures Class when I was ruthlessly mauled by a school Hippogriff. Some of the students, from what I could hear when I was sprawled on the ground, were either in silence or laughing silently, trying not to make it too obvious. I knew that many, many eyes were on me right now. Some of them filled with shock, disbelief, or amusement.
Hers, however, was filled with tears.
She was the only person that had shed tears for my sake, the only person I saw cry for my reasons, and it was in front of me, there, for everyone to see. Pansy did not care what others thought, no, she never did - and that's one of those things that make her Pansy. Even after that, there was something within me that just let disrespect towards her flow out like there was no tomorrow. Even later that very same day in the Hospital Wing.
"Draco, are you sure you're all right?" "Save your breath, Parkinson, you're wasting your time." "Don't be silly, that was a particularly nasty blow. Are you sure you don't want me to take a look at it?" "Just leave me alone!"
"Save your breath, Parkinson, you're wasting your time."
"Don't be silly, that was a particularly nasty blow. Are you sure you don't want me to take a look at it?"
"Just leave me alone!"
People had always looked at me as rotten, arrogant, and too cold to make room for others. They portrayed Pansy as a maddening, pompous girl that was always desperate for an audience. It had been the same for the both of us, but Pansy did not seem to let her spirits lower from what they looked at her as. She let it pass. But we were both stuck in this game of charades that we could not stop playing.
Malfoys were never the cowards, but this was something I had to hide. I actually enjoyed her company, the way she fawned over my condition, and how I would always be the first to steal her attention. It was like something I was born into, a job only I could manage to do. But I never wanted to show it. And somehow, after each and every ridiculous prattling fight that happened between us, and even with my rude remarks, Pansy just kept coming back. I gave up shortly and allowed her to hang with us, and she did turn out to be wanted company.
After that, she became one of those people I could tell anything to. During the summer if I had nothing on my hands, I would always find a good excuse to go over to Pansy's place. She sat in one of her chairs, swinging her feet back and forth, and I was one of the only people who she allowed to lie on her bed. We talked for hours and hours, from future plans to tease that filthy Mudblood girl to general discussion about current happenings. We were so used to each others' company that she was unafraid to walk around her room in my prescence wearing nothing but a shirt and some undergarments.
Then came fourth year, with the entire mess of people asking one another for dates to attend the Yule Ball with. There was no other girl on my mind besides Pansy, but it seemed that many boys from Slytherin House had asked her. I blamed myself for not acting quickly, I had a feeling that Blaise Zabini had won her before me. But she was never afraid to tell me the truth.
"Gotten a date to the ball yet, Draco?" "No." "Still denying you want to ask me, then?" "Why would I ask you?" "Merlin, Draco, you've spent countless hours in my room and even saw me in my underwear! Surely you're too afraid to admit it." "Didn't that Blaise Zabini already ask you, anyway?" "Oh, him? I turned him down when I found out he had already asked Daphne Greengrass." "...I see. Guess it wouldn't hurt to attend together, then." "Ha, I knew you'd give in. I know you too well." "Oh, shut up."
"Still denying you want to ask me, then?"
"Why would I ask you?"
"Merlin, Draco, you've spent countless hours in my room and even saw me in my underwear! Surely you're too afraid to admit it."
"Didn't that Blaise Zabini already ask you, anyway?"
"Oh, him? I turned him down when I found out he had already asked Daphne Greengrass."
"...I see. Guess it wouldn't hurt to attend together, then."
"Ha, I knew you'd give in. I know you too well."
"Oh, shut up."
That night was one of those nights I felt displeased with myself. I had been rather late on schedule and it was time the Slytherins were leaving the Common Room. I walked speedily out of the Boys Dormitory, and that's when I saw her like I had never seen her before.
Shockingly, not much people had paid attention to her. Most were gathering around Daphne Greengrass and complimenting her sparkly purple dress, but I didn't join them. Pansy was worth all my gaze.
Not to my surprise at all, she wore frilly pink robes - after all, what would Pansy be without her frills? She wore her hair like she always had, a flower in her hair, and that very same scent surrounded her, the same one that I first took in when I first walked into her room. Pansy seemed to have been waiting for me for quite a while, and without much further ado, I took her down to the Great Hall and I enjoyed our first dance just the same.
Better than what magic can do, I'd say.
I've never really told anyone how I really felt about her, not even Pansy herself. I'm one of those people who wait for others to come clean first. In this case, I know Pansy can simply read my true feelings by just looking at me, and I don't mind. That just adds on to the rewards after hiding it for so long. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to put those three words on hold for now. So a secret, it is.
There was just a little something about her.
I found her beautiful in a way other people did not understand.
Thank you for reading and please review!