A/n: Man, this story is hanging around the place for at least a couple of years, LOL! So don't expect me to update more after this chappie: I just don't feel like it anymore. Well, I DO still adore HM with a passion (ToT knocks my blocks), but HM: MFoMT is getting a bit old…
Anyway, read it, when you feel like it.
'Just what are you planning to do, Rick?' Karen asked me, when she saw me stamping out of my house like a very good-looking bulldozer. I looked at her and saw her face finally had her normal hue back.
Thank Goddess she wasn't tipsy from yesterday anymore! She had sung about me and about my butt! Can you imagine? Karen, THE Karen, the wonderful, GORGEOUS Karen, singing aloud how wonderful she thought my butt was! While standing on Doug's bar, shaking her hips!
…she was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot.
But anyway, I know I'm pretty. But hey, not everybody had to know the beauty of my lower back! I didn't even realize SHE thought it was that nice! It was a big compliment, it sure was! My butt and I felt honored!
…until the whole Inn laughed me in the face after she was gone. And this morning, I saw Popuri walking, her butt shaking like a rattlesnake his tail would shake: 'Hey, Rick! Shake that bootie, bootie, uh huh!'
Gah! Even my own little sister made fun of it! Didn't anyone agree on Karen?!
'Hey Karen! Glad you aren't drunk anymore!' I greeted her, and walked away from her in a few quick steps. Of course she came after me. '…let me guess. You are going to beat up Kai for hanging around with Popuri again, aren't you?' she asked.
'You're so smart when you're sober.' I muttered sarcastically. Bull's eye!
'…aw, come on!' she laughed, '…I meant it, really! I do think your butt is nice! It's in good shape! I would never lie about that!'
'…but you were DRUNK! They made fun of me! Popuri and mom laughed at me, just like they all did!' I stammered.
Karen spun around for no particular reason and smiled flirty towards me. 'Aw, silly Rick! The townspeople always make fun of you!'
…well, that really made me feel better. But instead of getting angry, I began to walk even faster than I already did, trying to ignore Karen's wonderful human-being (read: great body). I heard her singing behind me ('Have you met this butt, this fabulous butt, this really really really really nice-looking butt…'), and swallowed a bit.
…yeah, I guess I was a bit in love with her. But don't go tell everybody! They wouldn't believe me, because they'd say she's too pretty for me.
NONSENSE! I'm a GOD! I've got the body of Hercules, the brains of Einstein, the smile of Hugh Grant, a big bed (HAH! And I didn't had to buy other stuff for it!), and loads of chicks around me!
…yes, chickens. So what, chicks are chicks!
'If you really want to know it, I'm not only going to beat up that hair-hiding guy Kai, but… I'm also looking for Catherine!' I finally explained my soon-to-be wife, and sighted deeply (and very handsome-like). Why, I almost was like a male Princess Di!
Karen stopped singing and a jealous glare appeared on her beautiful face. She suddenly started waving her arms hysterically. 'WTF! Who's Catherine! Someone I know?! Someone Popuri knows?! How old is she! What job has she got! Favorite color! Does she dye her hair?! Is she already married?! With YOU?! Is she having your baby?! The THIRD one? Does she live in Ohio in a mansion full of Vietnamese maids and fluffy carpets?! YOU JERK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!'
I dryly watched her freaking out and running around in circles screaming. Good, I suppose it's nice to know she liked me too, but acting like an obsessed stalker was a bit too much.
Although Karen was a pretty one.
I smiled weakly, and sighted again while Karen began to bang her head to a tree close by rapidly ('RAAH! Hate! Hate! Must-bang-head!')
'…um,' I carefully muttered, when she fell on the ground, moaning, with some growing bumps on her head, '…Catherine is my favorite chicken, Karen. You don't have to act so jealous. There's no other.'
I gave her my hand and helped her up, and she slapped my hand away as soon as she got up, blushing heavily. 'Shut up, you nerd! What are you thinking; I'm in LOVE with you or something like that?! Phu-lease!'
Karen bit her lower lip.
I chuckled sheepishly, rubbing my arm. 'I-I didn't say… you're in.. l-love with me…' I couldn't bring up the courage to look at her, '…b-but… I… I think I…'
'…y-yeah?' Karen's voice sounded weak and a bit fragile. This was one of the rare moments she was about to confess (and it was probably the best time for me to do so too)… and it was always interrupted by someone!
ALWAYS! Oh, cruel fate! Oh, pain! Oh, the cheap toilet paper of doom in Doug's Inn! Why did they always have to disturb me! VOICES IN MY HEAD!
But not this time! Oh no, I was prepared now! The first one who dared to bother us from confessing to each other, was going to die a horrible death involving zombie-rabbits and a golden hoe!
…and then a girl showed up.
I slowly walked (almost CRAWLED) over the bright-colored brick road. MAN, I was getting depressed here! Didn't anybody think it was nice to know me better? Hm? Hm? I was getting all Bridget Jones-like here!
Not good! Not good! I didn't want to get eaten by wolfs or Cha-Cha! Or be drunk all the time! Or be named Karen! Ugh! What girl would like to be like that?!
…I don't know why, but I suddenly wanted to smack some blonde girl.
Hm… I felt uncomfortable. I wonder why…
A/n: Well… this was quite bad, wasn't it? Heh… I guess I was… 16 years old when I wrote this! THOSE SPELLING ERRORS! GRAMMAR! RAAAH! (and to be honest, I don't even know for sure I wrote these lines correctly).
Well, that's it! C ya!