I never mend to go that far?! It was just something in my head I wrote out for you to read, now you're begging me and ordering me to write on about it.
Well, I'll try.
I am waiting.
It's the first of September, and after a hard holiday I'm in need of some peace. I'll find it in Hogwarts. No one talks to me anyway.
Professor Sinistra, Alex, as she wanted me to call her... I never thought she'd be called Alex, by the way, so I asked her about it. Turns out she's actually call Alexandria, but she didn't like the name, so turned it to Alex. I can see myself in that. I'm called Draconis. Draco is sooo much better. But still, you know, it makes everything think you've got something to do with a dragon.
Oh, yeah, Alex, I was at her house over the summer. Half of the summer, because most of my days were spent outside, with the street rats. My friends at the moment. And Ares, my best friend. At least Animals don't judge me. Alex is also teaching me how to become an Animagus, do you know how cool that is? I haven't gotten far though, but she promised me we'd go on with it in school.
Now I'm on the Hogwarts Express, waiting to be taken to school, and trying to avoid everybody. I took a compartment at the back at the train. I've locked it and warded it. There have been a few first years trying to get in, but other wise I'm left alone. That's good enough for me. I'm reading my Transfiguration book, again, for the fourth time, I think. I remember almost everything. I'm turning into Granger. But I want some good grades for my N.E.W.T.s. I need to get a job after this year. I'm not sure what I'll do. I think I'd like to be a Healer. Alex told me there is a good school for it in Australia, and since I can't very easily stay here, perhaps I'll go there.
Oh, and did I mention I'm Head Boy?
I over heard the Trio talking on my way to the Great Hall. Weasley complained about not getting to hex me as was tradition. I had exclaimed loudly: "Oh, damn, Weasley, sorry, I forgot, how about we do it tomorrow?" The looks on everybody's face was so worth it. Now they think Weasley and I are shagging or something.
I'm sitting at the table now. Everyone is fussing over Pansy, but I don't know exactly why. Perhaps she married someone else now she couldn't marry me? She's loving all the attention she gets, and I sometimes saw her look at me and smirk as she put her hands on her belly. I think she's pregnant. I'm sorry for the man who gets a child as ugly as hers.
I take it back.
I'm not sorry for the man who gets a child as ugly as Pansy's. She married Lucius. That's weird, you may think. But it isn't in the Wizarding world, or at least with the purebloods. Age doesn't matter. And as long as the other wife agrees, you can have more spouces. Narcissa agreed, so they could have an heir to the Malfoy name.
How do I know this, you might ask.
Pansy rubbed it in my face after dinner. I laughed, congratulate her, and left. To my rooms.
Seems I'm sleeping with the Head Girl. I don't know who she is, but I'm guessing on a certain Gryffindor.
I was right.
Granger made Headgirl. She's sitting on the couch in the Head's common room. Potter and Weasley are with her. They're staring at me from the other couch.
Potter seems to be the first to get his voice back: "What are you doing here, Malfoy?" he asks.
"I live here, Potter" I answer: "I was made Headboy."
Granger groans and put her head in her hands. Weasley jumps up from the couch. "If you hurt her or go to her room while she sleeps or..."
"Don't worry, Weasley, I won't hurt your girlfriend. I'll even stay as far from her as possible, okay?"
"Is that supposed to be an insult?" Granger asked, glaring at me.
"No, merely a statement" I answer.
"What do you mean, girlfriend?" Weasley asks: "She isn't my girlfriend!"
I stare at him. He must know they both are mad about each other. "Damn, Weasley. How thick can you be? You love her, she loves you, you should be shagging like rabbits around now!"
Weasley turns red, as well as Granger, but she looks hopeful at Weasley. Potter sniggers.
I roll my eyes at them, bid them a goodnight and leave to go to bed.
Tomorrow would be a long day.
I slam the door close and hit the couch with my feet.
I knew it.
This is the worst day of my life.
No, it isn't. Not really. It would be if I had a normal life, but I don't, so this is a normal bad day. Great.
It started this morning at breakfast. Pansy was once again having all the attention and she put a pussing charm on me, that would start every time I didn't look at her. She kept on smirking at me, drowning in the attention.
Then, at Transfiguration (It's a wonder by the way, that we didn't get Potions first thing.) Dumbledore came in, looking sour. Lucius was with him, and he started gawning over Pansy as well. He then whispered something to her and asked something from Dumbledore.
,,Mr Malfoy, your father wishes to speak to you" Dumbledore said.
I ignored them.
I'm not a Malfoy, and he is not my father.
Lucius grabbed my arm: "You will do as asked, Draco!"
I brushed myself free. I'm quite proud about that. I didn't give in like I would do normally.
"I haven't heard anyone asking me anything, Malfoy" I snapped at him and tried to sit again.
He kicked and hit me, before he got Dumbledore's wand on him.
"I appreciate it would you not hurt a student of my school, Mr Malfoy" Dumbledore said.
I merely stood up, earning gasps and brushed of the dust, before sitting down again.
My leg still hurts from the kick, and I'm limping again.
The Slytherins ignore me, and the rest of the school doesn't really believe the 'rumours' about Lucius kicking me and hitting me. If only I wasn't limping.
That wouldn't be so bad, you might think. But then, I got Potions, last class, and a double, with the Gryffindors. Snape made the pairs. I had to go with Potter, just to annoy him.
I didn't annoy him though. I just snapped at him to stay out of my way so I would get a good grate, and he did. Well, at the beginning.
When I came back from the Ingredients Cupboard, limping of course, he stated that I was limping again.
"Present from Lucius when he visited the Transfiguration class" I said, and tried to concentrate on the potion.
"You were limping at Easter" he said: "Did your father do that?"
"I don't have a father, Potter. Never had, either."
"Everyone has a father, Malfoy" he said.
"I don't Potter. And you know what. I wished I were you."
The conversation stopped there.
At dinner, I got Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and Madam Promfrey fussing over me.
Dumbledore started: "Mr Malfoy, why didn't you go to the Hospital Wing after class?"
"Mr Malfoy, you should've know we could help you" McGonagall said: "Why didn't you tell us?"
"I told you you could tell me anything" Madam Promfrey said, trying to get her hands on me to eximine me.
I stood up, glaring at the lot of them: "I never went to the Hospital before. I didn't tell you, because you don't care and you won't believe me. I'm just the spoiled little brat who gets everything he wished for. I'm not Potter. I don't need anyone to look after me. No one ever looked after me. I just need to do whatever they tell me and I'll be left alone. It didn't work though. Every time the beating would get worse. Don't you think I noticed? Don't you think I'd rather stay here for Christmas? Of course not. Because I am not Potter!" I had turned around, sure the whole school was staring at me by now, and marched straigth to my rooms.
The marching did nothing to help my leg. I can hear the Gryffindors coming. They're asking questions. Questions they want to ask me. I decide to be Slytherin-like. I go to my room. I don't want to face them. Damn Gryffindors. Nothing good can come from them.
I am avoiding breakfast this morning. I do not want any of their questions. They failed me. Every single one of them. By dinner they will have forgotten what happened, they always do. Alex is with me. She's quiet, not saying a thing. She just sits with me while I'm pretending to read my Potion book. All the teachers, and Granger and Potter have tried to come in to my bedroom, but I only have let Alex in. She's the only one I can trust. So far. Ares is also here. He's hooting softly from where he's sitting on his perch.
Alex looks up: "Can I do anything?" she asks.
I give her a faint smile: "Get me off this world?" I suggest.
She shakes her head: "Sorry, I'm not powerful enough for that. Unless you want me to kill you, and I will never do that."
"Nah, I don't want you to kill me" I say, aware that almost all the teachers are listening: "Wouldn't be good to get killed now it's all over. You know. This reminds me of something a street urchin told me this summer: Don't worry about life, you won't survive it anyway. He's right, you know. I'm not going to survive it. Hell, I'd probably won't make it until my hundred's birthday. I'm to messed up for it."
She stays silent.
I sigh again.
"Will you quit sighing?" she asks.
I sigh again, just because I know she hates it.
She does not ask again. She flungs herself at me and we wrestle until I've got her pressed against the floor. Somewhere we must've fallen off the bed. She struggles, then gives in: "Okay, you've won, now let me go!"
I don't, I just sit there, staring. "I had no idea you could hold power over someone like this" I murmur. She stares up at me. There's no fear in her eyes, and I realise then that she trusts me. She'd trust me with her life. I smile at her, then get up.
I was wrong again.
They haven't forgotten it at dinner. I know. This is the first meal I showed up for today. Even some of the Slytherins are looking worried at me. Blaise has gone over himself to sit next to me. We have never talked before. Now he's chatting the ears off my head. (A/N: sorry, Dutch expression) He's good enough company. Pansy keeps on staring at me, trying to get eye-contact and her questions asnwered before having to ask them. I pretend I do not see her. Why would I? She got me in the mess most of the times, she probably didn't know it was like that. Good for her.
Blaise hasn't asked a thing about Lucius yet, which I'm very graceful for. I wished we had talked before now. He's nice, when he is silent for a while. He keeps asking me about the team, though. That they wanted me back. Did I forgot to mention I'm off? Well, know you know. I stopped playing on the team this school year. I can fly by myself. The team is always hating me anyway, since I don't catch the snitch. I'm going to sit back and gloat when their new seeker is going to be worse then me. Perhaps I'll even cheer when Potter catches the snitch... neh, no need to make it over do it.
I stand up and say goodbye to Blaise, ask him if he wants to come to the Heads room some time and give him the password, I then leave. Everyone is staring at me as I limp out. They can go to Hell, I don't care.