Harry Potter and Star Wars
By: DarkLordMistDisclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Star Wars
Harry Potter was in his bed, trying but unable to sleep as he kept on thinking about his parents… his battle versus Voldemort… the prophecy…
He dreamed about Hogwarts, ahh, what fun.
Suddenly, a green creature appeared in front of him. Harry gasped.
"Yoda, I am!" The green creature squeaked. Harry was strongly reminded of Dobby.
"What- do you want?" Harry asked, scared.
"Now learn, you shall, meditation, the powers of, and use it, you will." Yoda squeaked.
"Umm, can you use correct grammar, please?" Harry didn't understand a word of Yoda's.
"I can't, because my habit, it is, so listen, you shall, to me, meditation, you learn, from me. Sit down, you shall, and eyes, close down, and breathe, you will." Yoda squealed.
"WHAT?" Harry asked, bewildered.
"Relax, you will, the force, you bring, to yourself, you will, force, you will use, to meditate, you will, so that sleep, you can."
Harry had enough. "SAY SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE!" He yelled furiously, wondering what the hell this insane little green monster was doing in his room and trying to teach him meditation with horrible grammar!
Yoda jumped up 10 times his height and smacked Harry on the forehead.
"Too stupid, you are, don't understand, don't you, be quiet, you should, because teach you, I will." He squealed, jumping onto Harry's bed.
"Get off my bed!" Harry said, turning red as he tried to kick Yoda off the bed. But the little midget would not budge.
Yoda jumped up into the air about 20 feet and then came back to simply smack him on the forehead again.
"On your bed, I will stay, be very sad, you should not, by listening to me, you will learn." Yoda said.
"I've had enough, get out you green furry creature, and why are you here?" Harry asked, switching on the lights.
"Here, I am, to help you, I will, sleep, you do, so tomorrow, come to you, energy, and tired, you will not be, anymore." Yoda said.
"I can't sleep with green furry creatures like you running around! Out! Out!" Harry yelled, furiously swatting at the green monster, but it just kept on dodging his strikes!
"No! Help, you need, don't back off, you apprentice, Master of you, I am, guide you, I will help, so be scared, don't…" Yoda replied.
"Please- go away- I don't want you here- please!" Harry cried, very frustrated and annoyed and pissed that this little thing was probably 100 times stronger than him.
"Go, I shall, but return, I will." Yoda said, before disappearing.
"Thank God…" Harry muttered, and then in about two seconds, Yoda came back.
"I said to go away!" Harry roared, outraged.
"Go away, I did, but return, I say, so return, I do, my powers, don't underestimate, with me, I bring, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn!" Yoda said, summoning his them two.
"HYYAYAAHAYAHAHAYAHAYAHAYAHAYAHA!" Obi-Wan Kenobi came slashing down with his light saber, immediately destroying the room into bits and ashes.
"DIE YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!" Qui-Gon Jinn came swirling his light saber and accidentally throwing it onto Harry's bed, which cut a huge hole in it. Harry only barely jumped out of the way in time.
"Sorry!" Qui-Gon Jinn cried, pulling out the light saber.
"What disturbs you, master Yoda?" Obi-Wan Kenobi asked.
"Don't know how, this man, to meditate, teach him, you will, because understand, he does not, go now, I will." Yoda said, and he disappeared in a flash.
"Ok, Anakin Skywalker, where the hell did you get those glasses and I thought you had yellow hair!" Qui-Gon Jinn said.
"And why did you betray me? Darth Vader is to perish! Do not overlook the promptings of fate!" Obi-Wan Kenobi said.
"Umm… I'm not Anakin Skywalker, and who's Darth Vader?" Harry asked, bewildered.
Suddenly, Uncle Vernon came into the room.
"What's that noise- oh my-" He stuttered, looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn.
"EMPEROR PALPATINE! YOU ARE FAT!" Obi-Wan Kenobi roared.
"What? Huh?" Uncle Vernon stuttered. "Who are you two?"
Dudley then came behind him.
"OH MY GOD! LOOK! JEDI HAVE COME! YAYAYAYAYAYA! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPOH?" Dudley screamed.
"No, young man, but I will you give you a slash in the butt! Please, let this young man Meditate!" Qui-Gon Jinn roared.
"It's been a very weird night…" Harry said, falling asleep.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Qui-Gon Jinn roared.
"THIS YOUNG JEDI MEDITATED! HOW WONDERFUL!" Obi-Wan Kenobi yelled.
"YEA!" They cried together, and started hugging each other.
"Accomplish mission, you have, with me, come now, must go, we now." Then they three disappeared.
"OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!" Dudley screamed. "THAT WAS YODA!" He cheered.
"Umm… so?" Uncle Vernon asked.
"WEE!" Dudley fell asleep on the floor.
"No way!" Uncle Vernon roared.
"Yes way!" Hedwig said.
"OWL! YOU CAN TALK?" Uncle Vernon roared, disbelieving.
"MAN! YOU CAN'T TALK?" Hedwig hooted.
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Uncle Vernon said, his face beet red.
"WHO ARE YOU NOT WHISPERING OF?" Hedwig said, fluttering her wings.
"An owl who can talk! I don't believe it! We'll make millions!" Said Aunt Petunia coming from behind.
"NO, THIS OWL IS A PIECE OF SHIT, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Uncle Vernon roared.
"YES, THIS MAN IS FULL OF CRAP, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KILL ME!" Hedwig hooted.
Harry woke up. "What's-going on?" He looked at the scene of an enraged Uncle Vernon chasing Hedwig around the room.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Uncle Vernon roared, getting out a knife.
"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAVE ME!" Hedwig hooted.
"WHY WOULD I WANT TO SAVE YOU?" Uncle Vernon said, about to kill Hedwig.
"HOW WILL YOU NOT WANT TO KILL ME?" Hedwig said.
"NO UNCLE VERNON, DON'T!" Harry yelled at the mad Uncle Vernon.
"YES AUNT PETUNIA, DO!" Hedwig screeched.
"Do what?" Petunia asked, she was silent the whole time.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA ALAAAAAAAYYYYYYOOOO!" Count Dooku yelled, slashing down with his light saber and cutting the house apart.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! Blasters shot the house.
"THE LIGHT SIDE IS INVADING! WE MUST RUN! CLONES COMING AFTER US! AARRRRGGGGHHHH!" Count Dooku ran away.
"NABOO SPACESHIP NUMBER 267, WE HAVE ENEMIES! A FAT MAN, A SKINNY LADY, A FAT KID, A SKINNY KID, AND A TALKING OWL!" A Naboo Spaceship crashed into the house, knocking it down.
The four of them were shocked.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!
"X-WINGS COMING IN! Y-WINGS COMING IN!" The Naboo Spaceship screamed.
X-Wings and Y-Wings started fighting with Naboo Spaceships on top of the broken house.
"I AM JABBA THE HUTT!" A huge glop of gloop came down, squashing Dudley. The dismembered figure looked proudly at the squashed body under him. "NOW YOU SHALL BE PART OF ME! ASSIMILATION COMMENCING!" Jabba laughed rambunctiously as he sucked Dudley's flattened body into himself.
"AHHH! THAT'S MY SON!" Aunt Petunia screamed, trying to move the 3,000 ton Hutt off Dudley.
"YOU DON'T HAVE A SUN!" Jabba the Hutt roared. He wasn't the brightest Hutt in the bunch.
"I DO HAVE NOT TWO MOONS!" Hedwig screeched.
"A TALKING OWL!" Bobba the Fett cried, coming down and started shooting the ground with much fervor.
"TWO NOT TALKING BATS!" Hedwig yelled.
"Don't ever, ever, ever make a conversation with an owl…" Mace Windu sighed, dropping onto the floor.
Suddenly, Anakin Skywalker came, piloting his pod-racer.
"AHHHHH! IT'S MY YOUNGER FORM COMING TO HAVE REVENGE! AARRRGGGGHHHH!" Darth Vader screamed, running away like a girl.
"DIE!" Jabba the Hutt squashed Uncle Vernon.
"EEEEEEKKK! THAT'S MY HUSBAND!" Aunt Petunia screamed.
"AAAAHHHH! WHO'S YOUR WIFE!" Hedwig screamed.
"LASAGNA! LASAGNA! YUMMY YUMMY MMMM!" Garfield came in, eating lasagna.
"HEY GET OUT! STAR WARS PEOPLE ONLY!" Queen Amidala came, and gave Garfield a kick. He flew into the sky and yelled, "CAPED GARFIELD BLASTING OFF!" And disappeared into a star.
Harry and Aunt Petunia were the only ones left alive, out of the Harry Potter characters. They were paralyzed with fear and confusion.
"YUGIOHH!" Yugioh ran into the scene.
"GOOOOOO, SUMMONED SKULL!" A huge monster started bashing everything in its way.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Aunt Petunia screamed.
"JABBA THE HUTT IS OWNAGE DUDE!" Jabba cried, then squashed Aunt Petunia. "TIME FOR MAJOR SUCKAGEEEE!" He laughed boisterously.
"STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Harry yelled, coming to his senses. But he had no chance.
"IN FOR THE KILL!" the Naboo spaceship yelled, and shot Mrs. Figg's house. Mrs. Figg came limping- running out, screaming.
"AHHHHH! MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!" She screamed as Bobba the Fett ran around her merrily shooting the ground, laughing happily.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Ron Weasley cried, just coming to the scene.
"A very big mess, that's what's going on." Harry said.
"JABBA THE HUTT IS OWNAGE!" Jabba jumped into the air and jumped on Draco Malfoy.
"What the hell- how did he come?" Ron asked.
Two hundred miles away, Draco Malfoy was squashed.
"NO WAY! THAT'S THE SPEED OF SOUND!" Leia Skywalker yelled.
"JABBA THE HUTT IS FAST!" Jabba yelled, laughing as he sucked Malfoy into his now 4,000 ton body.
Yoda came in holding about 50 lightsabers. Don't ask me how he was able to hold them, I honestly don't know. He began throwing them at the Hutt, squeaking "GO NOW, YOU SHALL, BE GONE, YOU WILL, KILL YOU, I WILL, SKYWALKER LUKE, YOUR TRUE POWER, SHOW ME!"
Luke Skywalker jumped into the scene, carrying a toy water gun. SQUIRT!
Immediately, Jabba the Hutt screamed in pain. Hutts despise water, that's why they always live in the desert. "NOOOO! MY END IS NEAR!"
Yoda laughed insanely. "DIE NOW, YOU SHALL, I WIN, LOOKS LIKE, WINS AGAIN, YODA DOES!" Then he promptly disappeared, along with the other 300 Star Wars Characters, leaving a squashed Dudley, Petunia, Vernon, and Malfoy behind, as well as a dumbfounded Harry and Ron.
A/N: I posted this story a long time ago, on another account. I edited it a bit this time, and I still have more chapters to come! If you found it funny, give me a review!