Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I seek to make any profit from this work. Kim Possible is owned by the Walt Disney Co., and was created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle.
Any other works (songs, books, films, comics, other fanfics, etc.) or real people (celebrities, world leaders, historical figures, serial killers, actuaries, etc.) referenced in this fic are TM and Copyright their respective owners and/or their respective selves. Again, I make no profit whatsoever from this work or anything related to it. Please do not sue. I am but a lowly stripling. Again, NO PROFIT. NONE.
Any original characters that may or may not appear in this fic were wholly fabricated by me, and are owned by me. If you wish to use them in your own work (Ha! Fat chance), I have absolutely zero problem with that as long as you accede credit regarding their parentage to me; a link to the resultant work would also be appreciated.
Please review, especially if it's crap. Detailed reviews, please. Saying "ZOMG, that was so lame!1!111!" may be technically legal, but it doesn't actually have any effect beyond making me want to punch you in the face; reviews which actually tell me what the hell I did wrong insure your brain against further violation by whatever aspect of my writing you found utterly noxious. I will not get better unless you tell me WHY I suck, is what I am saying. And no, I will not stop writing.
Finally, this is pretty much a Kigo fanfic. Not all that sexual, but still, if you hate the idea of chicks "getting with" other chicks, don't read this.
So I said, basically, that I would have something up in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, what I actually said was that I would have Chapter 3, Part Two of "Child Development" up in a couple of weeks. This is not that. This is a gift to those who waited patiently for two weeks, then decided they wanted to stab me through the Interwebs. I haven't gotten any messages from you, but I'm pretty sure you're out there. This is for you.
This is a fluffy little one-shot I came up with. It has nothing to do with the "Child Development" stories. Consider it a little night music to pass the time between installments of "CD." Sorry it's so short (unless it sucks, in which case, sorry it's so long). Also sorry if the characters are OOC. I just thought this idea was cute. I'm even sorrier if the science in this is bullshit. Frankly, I'm just guessing. :) Finally, sorry about the clichéd opening sentence. It just kinda fit.
The next "CD" is gonna take a bit more time. I'm working on it, though, I promise. It'll be worth it.
Thanks for plowing through this BS. I hope the tale you are about to consume is worth your time.
Italics equal thoughts, sounds and emphasis.
ALL CAPS equals yelling.
When Sleepwalking Goes Wrong
Wright S. Johnson
It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning briefly illuminated the sky. And with lightning, there was always…
Kim Possible's eyes opened. A weight. On her. A warm weight. A person. Someone was on her. Lying on her right arm. Kim briefly considered panicking, but she was too tired to do that. Then she saw that the intruder was a ghostly pale shade of green. It was pretty easy to figure out who was on top of her.
"Shego?" she whispered.
Kim kicked Shego. She woke with a start.
Shego hissed, then looked up. "Wha – Yeah, Pumpkin?"
Kim's eyes were narrow, and she was smirking. "You're in my bed. Why are you in my bed? Never took you for a rapist."
Things clicked into place for Shego at that point. Well, almost.
"What? Kimmie, you're, uh, real? Rape? What?"
"What? Of course I'm real. Doy, as you would say."
"God, I, uh, I don't know. Why am I in your bed? How am I in your bed? Did we…get, uh, married?" That last word was mumbled in a more… familiar tone than Kim would have liked. Though the room was pitch-black, Kim could practically see Shego smiling. Not smirking, smiling.
Kim was a little irked. "What? Get married? Why would we be married? I don't know you outside of work, you're a girl, and you're a villain. Why would I marry you? I don't even like you."
Kim felt Shego tighten, then lift herself up a bit. Lightning struck again, and Kim could briefly see Shego's face. She looked, well, sad. "But… I… was I… dreaming? It – it seemed…felt pretty…real, I just… I just thought… I mean… I wanted… and then… when I woke up… a-and – you hate me… and I… W-why am I...? Oh God..." Shego scuttled off the bed quickly and balled up in a corner.
Then Kim heard… sobbing? Well, that couldn't be right, could it? Kim turned on her nightlight. "Who are you and what have you done with Shego? This doesn't have to do with those stupid Moodulators, does it? 'Cause I'm totally gonna destroy them this time."
Shego sobbed louder. "I-it's me, Princess, I just…" Sniffle. "I, I, I, I h-had a dream and..."
The heretofore-dangerous villainess looked at the moment more like a toddler who had just lost her favorite Cuddle Buddy. Kim was a bit shocked. She decided to try another tactic: compassion. As odd as this situation was, compassion had never steered her wrong before. Well, except sometimes...
Kim decided to go for it. "Shego?"
Shego looked up. "Y-yeah, Cupcake?" Tears streaked down her green cheeks.
"C'mere." Kim held out her arms.
Shego sniffed loudly. "M-m'kay…"
Shego basically collapsed into Kim's arms. Kim shushed her for a few minutes, and Shego meekly complied. Kim could both hear and feel the vibrations of Shego's low moan.
Kim tried to remember some of the things her mother used to say to console her when she was upset. "Shhh, it's okay, Shego… I-I dunno why you're acting this way – or, for that matter, why you're here in the first place – but I promise everything will be okay. We'll – we'll just, uh, figure this out together. 'Kay?" Kim tried to put on her best "trust me" face.
Shego looked up, saw Kim's smile, and pouted. "M'kay." She pulled away until she sat comfortably on Kim's bed. She wiped her tears away and composed herself.
Kim thought a bit. "So why are you in my room?"
Shego looked down. "I, uh, I'm a sleepwalker."
Kim cocked her head a little. "So, what? You just – you sleepwalked into my bedroom? The one across town from yours? How does that make even a little bit of sense?" Kim chuckled at the idea.
Shego's expression didn't change.
Kim frowned. "You're serious? How is that even, well, possible?"
Shego sighed. "It, um, I've been this way ever since I got my powers. My metabolism is so hypercharged that I can perform complex tasks literally in my sleep. Running, jumping, piloting hovercrafts, climbing buildings, et cetera. Pretty much anything I do when I'm awake. It uses, like, almost no energy."
Kim smirked. "So why hasn't this happened before? Does Drakken, like, have a habitrail or something he makes you sleep in?"
Shego's eyes widened, and she nodded. "Uh, actually, yes. Why do you think I work for the little blue moron? It for damn sure ain't the pay, I can tell you that." Shego chuckled a little in spite of herself. "Little bastard actually occasionally works up the nerve to ask if I could lend him some scratch. What the hell?"
Kim and Shego both laughed at that.
Kim, still laughing, put a hand up after a few seconds. "Heh, but, uh, I mean... Oh yeah!" Kim snapped her fingers lightly. "Why can't you work for Dementor or something? Surely he could build a, heh, habitrail."
Shego smirked. "A giant hamster cage made entirely of a material that's resistant to an unknown form of space plasma that I can emit from any part of my body at any time? As Dementor put it, 'Are you knoving how much zat would be costink? Ze bottom line, Miss Green Person! You are to be zinking of ze bottom line!'"
Kim's sides hurt from laughing so hard. "That... that was funny. Seriously, you should do voice work."
Shego's smirk curved upward a bit. "Really? You think so?" Her eyes looked a bit more hopeful than they usually did.
Kim grabbed Shego's shoulders and stared her straight in the face. "Totally! You've got the guy down!"
Shego was actually smiling now. "Really? Thanks, Kimmie."
Then they both noticed the position Kim had unconsciously put them in. It was a little more intimate than Kim had intended. They were leaning towards each other, just slightly inside what each considered the other's personal space. They pulled away quickly and laughed nervously.
Kim grimaced as she blushed. "So that was..."
Shego gave Kim the same look. "Yeah..." she drawled.
Kim shook the weird vibe off. "Anyway... so no one else could put up the cash?"
Shego's face returned to its normal composure. "Uh, yeah, well, some people could, like Triple S. But when I started in the villain biz, I only had contacts in Dementor's organization. Drakken wanted me because Dementor rejected me. Dr. D hates that guy, if you haven't noticed. Anyway, the Doc doesn't care about the bottom line, 'cause, y'know, with the crazy, so he built me the, uh, 'habitrail,' as you put it, and put me to work."
Kim pursed her lips for a second. "What about all those vacations you take?"
Shego snickered a bit. "Well, actually, that's what I keep spending my money on."
"No, the bribes. I always have to bribe the local police, the people whose house I accidentally break into... the works. But it's worth it. I get to get away from Dr. D for a couple of weeks and actually not have a headache for once. Heh..."
They laughed again.
Kim composed herself. "And now, the $64,000 dollar question..."
Shego made a "go on" gesture. "Yeah?"
Kim smirked. "...Why were you dreaming about marriage? To me, of all people?"
Shego's eyes shifted nervously. "...I-I dunno." It was very obvious that she was lying.
Kim laughed. "Come on, you can tell me. I'm your nemesis. That means we're like best friends, except, you know, the opposite of, um, that. "
Shego scoffed, then blushed. "It's... nothing."
Kim laughed. "Oh, come on. It's not like you're into me." Kim giggled, then stopped when she saw Shego blushing even more. "Uh, right? You're not, right?"
Shego's eyes were focused on the bedspread. She didn't move. "Do you have to be so damn insistent about it?"
Kim frowned. "So you... are into me?"
Shego looked away. "Stop looking at me like that."
Kim's eyes widened. "You are! You're into me! You like me!"
Shego mumbled something.
"What?" said Kim.
"I said yeah, Princess! Okay? Are you Goddamn happy now? I like you! That way! There, I said it! I fucking like you!" Shego looked a little irritated and a lot hurt.
Kim suddenly froze. "I, um, uh, er, I, um, uh, er, I-"
After a minute or so, Kim got out of her feedback loop. "Well, that's… um…"
Shego was scowling at her. "Horrible? Stupid? Fucked up?"
Kim smiled. "Well, I was gonna go with 'flattering' or maybe 'nice,' but if you insist…"
Shego's face looked as though it was trying to pull itself apart. "Who are you and what have you done with Kimmie?"
Kim frowned. "Shego! I was being totally serious! I must admit, you are a very attractive woman."
Shego's lips slowly drew back; after a moment, they settled into a predatory grin.
Kim winced. "Pl-platonically! I – I meant... platonically! Not the way... you... want..."
Shego didn't flinch. "Hmm... methinks the Princess doth protest too much... Freudian slip there, Kimmie?"
Kim turned redder than uncooked Iowa beef. "Uh, no! I – shut up!"
Shego grinned even wider. She always enjoyed gaining the upper hand, be it verbally or physically. "Aww... did I touch a nerve? Has widdle Kimmie been nursing a crush on me?"
Kim twitched. "YeNO! SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP! It's not like I have your picture in my locker or anything..." Kim looked down.
Shego laughed. "Oooh, the Princess lies yet again!"
Kim's eyes widened. "How did you...? You've never been next to my – crap. Miss Go. Date with Barkin."
Shego nodded, still grinning smugly. "That's right, Kimmie. A-plus."
Kim quivered. "Well, that – that still doesn't prove anything! Shut up! I like Ron! You're – you're confusing me..."
Shego put her hand to her chest and her face changed to one of mock innocence. "I'm confusing you? All I've been doing is asking questions and agreeing with you. You tied your own noose on this one, Pumpkin. Admit it."
Kim panicked. "B-but... you try to kill me and... a-and-"
Shego cut in. "No, I try to beat you. There's a difference."
Kim looked skeptical. "There... is? 'Cause the bruises feel the same..."
Shego sighed. "Can you feel the bruises after we fight?"
Kim raised an eyebrow. "Uh, duh! Yeah!"
Shego smirked. "Then there's a difference. If I actually, actively wanted to kill you, you would be so dead right now. Can't feel a damn thing then, can you?"
Kim thought for a moment. "...Point."
Shego laughed. "You're Goddamn right I've got a point. Now come on, Princess. Cop to it."
Kim turned redder than Mississippi on a political map. "Mm-mm..."
Kim finally exploded. "No! You'll never get me to admit... that! It's bad! You're bad! Why are we even talking? I should have just kicked you outta bed as soon as I saw you!"
Shego smiled and raised a finger in a "tut-tut" gesture. "Ah, but there's the rub, Cupcake. Why didn't you? I started talking about being married to you, and what did you do? You hugged me. That's not exactly the best way to show disinterest in me, is it?"
Kim huffed. "I was being compassionate!"
Shego resumed what Kim was coming to regard as "that damn smirk." "Mmm... Come... Passionate... Interesting word choice, Pumpkin."
Kim turned redder than a tomato with ketchup on it. She pointed to the window. "Look, leave! I was trying to lend a sympathetic ear, but if you're just gonna turn it into something... with... a... SEX THING, then I'm just gonna have to ask you to leave."
Shego grinned. "Fine, Pumpkin. I'll leave."
Shego got up and began to walk to the window. Kim was suddenly very cold. Kim had adjusted to Shego's warmth on top of her, and she knew she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep if she didn't feel it again. She had to think up an excuse. "Shego, wait!"
Shego turned around, still grinning. "Why, Princess? I thought you told me to leave. Could you have had a change of heart?"
Kim tried to put on a brave face. "No! I'm gonna make a... citizen's arrest! Yeah! But – but I have to be sure that you can't escape. So you, y'know, should get back here, so I can hold onto you. Yeah..."
Shego laughed. She pointed at Kim. "You're cold, aren't you?"
Kim sighed and hung her head. "Yeah..."
Shego snickered and rolled her eyes. "Well, this ploy is frankly retarded, but I'll fall for it."
Kim watched Shego get in the bed. She started to drool as she latched on to Shego. "Mmm... warm..."
Shego snickered. "No, you're not enjoying this at all."
Kim snuggled closer, into Shego's back. "Shut up... Gonna arrest you... t'morrow... You'll see... I'll jst tk yuh nn n' thn w'll sss... " Then she passed out.
Shego giggled to herself. "Alright, now I'll just sneak out. Well, maybe five more minutes..."
Five minutes passed, and Shego was out like a light.
This time, they both dreamed of weddings.
A/N: All together now: Awwwwwww!
I did have an epilogue planned with Mrs. Dr. P, but I liked this ending so much, I stopped it there.
Other than that, I think I'll let this one speak for itself.
Read and review, people!