Kakashi exited his apartment with the latest edition of the Icha Icha series in his happy little hands. Naruto had given it to him as a gift when he'd returned to the village the other day. Unfortunately he'd been unable to read it immediately because Tsunade had ordered him to test Naruto and Sakura. He'd given both of them a new bell test and they had succeeded when Naruto threatened to reveal the book's ending. That had been last night. As soon as he'd gotten home he'd begun reading and then rereading the book. It was an absolute joy.
"Where does Jiraiya get this stuff?" having not slept for over twenty four hours he didn't realize he speaking out loud or that his judgment was off. Right now he was of to meet his students at the Tower while they await a meeting with the Hokage.
"You're late!" Sakura and Naruto shouted when he finally got to the waiting area outside the Hokage's office.
"Sorry, I was up all night reading soft core porn." He didn't realize that his lack of sleep had caused him to reply without first inventing some elaborate cover story. His eyes never left the little orange book. There were so many great sections! He found one and began to read it.
Sakura turned to Naruto. "Why does your other sensei insist on writing such trash?!"
Naruto backed away from her trying to calm her down. He was not eager for another beating. "Well Sakura-chan in ero-sennin's defense they are how he makes his money, they're incredibly popular and have sold millions! This new one is expected to sell over five million copies!"
Sakura sniffed and turned up her nose. "I can't believe so many people out there would actually pay to read such trash."
Feeling the need to defend the man who had just spent two and a half years training him Naruto spoke up. "That's not really fair Sakura-chan. I mean you might not like the subject matter but they're actually really well written and kind of funny. Ero-sennin takes people from real life and writes about them. His style is actually…" He saw the look in her eyes and the vein bulging in her forehead. Too late he realized he had made a very big mistake.
"So you have read them!" She began to crack her knuckles and Naruto could feel the girl's killer intent.
"Just a couple chapters I swear!"
"Pervert!" she punched him and sent him flying painfully through the next wall. The ANBU guards valued their lives and wisely stayed out of her way. She turned menacingly towards Kakashi. "And you…"
Having not even noticed the violence just concluded or the imminent threat of more such Kakashi began to read out loud without even realizing it.
"Rose Petal shyly approached the dark haired boy who had been her teammate and who remained the unwilling target of her affections. 'Oh Tasuke-kun,' She cooed. 'Won't you reconsider and go out with me? I know that most people think that I am an annoying, controlling, know it all who is really terribly insecure due to her freakishly large forehead and lack of social skills. But if you would just give me a chance I would do anything you want. When it comes to you Tasuke-kun I am pathetically desperate.' Tasuke eyed her without interest. 'I am sorry Rose Petal, but I can tell you would be frigid and poorly skilled in the bedroom.' He began to slouch away but Rose petal was clinging to his feet. She begged pitifully. 'Oh Tasuke-kun! While it is true I am as frigid as a hunk of ice and lacking any skill I am all too willing to please you! Won't you reconsider Tasuke-kun?' Tasuke rolled his eyes and shook her loose. 'Rose Petal for the thirty fifth and final time you are annoying!'
Sakura stood there with her jaw hanging open. Inner Sakura was screaming at the top of her lungs. Five million copies! "Nooooooo!" she ran out screaming. Kakashi failed to notice.
Naruto got up and rubbed the painful bump on his head. He had been unconscious through Kakashi's reading and Sakura's reaction to it. "Hey where is Sakura?"
"Oh! Naruto-kun wh... when di…did… y… yo… you get ba… ba… back?"
He suddenly noticed a girl who had just entered the reception area.
"Oh hey Hinata-chan! What are you doing here?"
She immediately blushed and began pressing her index fingers together. "Oh, uhm, I ju… just ha… have a me… meeting with the Ho… Hokage later." She struggled to get her blushing and stuttering under control. She was also trying desperately not to faint in front of him.
Naruto had picked up a few things in his time with Jiraiya and he was after all fifteen now. He immediately appreciated Hinata's figure. She was wearing a tight black outfit beneath a purple coat which was open. He eyed her up and down in a way that made her blush go about five shades darker and sent her heart racing. "Wow Hinata! You look really, really great" he gave one of his huge grins. "You're hot!"
That was it. She immediately fainted. Naruto quickly knelt over her and tried to wake her up. He was wondering if she had a fever, maybe that was why she had fainted. After a few minutes she opened her eyes. She was lying on the floor; Naruto was over her she could feel one hand on her forehead and one holding one of her hands.
"Are you all right Hinata?"
Before she could say anything Kakashi flipped to another favorite section and began to read out loud.
" 'Oh Naruko-kun, we can't do this!' His darling and innocent little Hinana said. But in her clear lavender eyes Naruko could see she shared his eagerness. 'Oh my darling Hinana-chan my passion for you cannot be contained a moment longer. I am sorry I failed to realize your desperate love for me. I was a fool to never realize your blushes, faints, and the way you press your fingers together were all signs of your desire to be with me. I am only grateful that my sensei, the world renowned and admired newt sage Jibaiya, whom I am unworthy to even know let alone be apprenticed to and whom I admire and long to be like, finally showed me the truth. Now that I have returned from my long journey studying with the great Jibaiya I must have you!' 'But what of Rose Petal? I thought she was the one you loved.' Naruko smiled at her and Hinana felt what little resistance she had melting. 'I finally realize I could never love such an immature and annoying girl, especially one with such an enormous forehead. It is you that my heart longs for my little Hinana-chan.' 'But here? On my father's desk in his study when he might return at any moment and discover us using the all seeing Bykogun?' Naruko let his hands wander across her body and was rewarded with a gasp of pleasure. 'Do you want to wait my little Hinana-chan?' reaching up she pulled him down on top of her. 'No my beloved Naruko-kun, have your way with me and truly make me from a girl to a woman.'"
Naruto and Hinata were staring at one another. As they had listened to Kakashi speak Naruto's face had slowly gotten darker until it was a match for Hinata's. She was still lying on the floor and he was still kneeling over her. They were just staring at one another.
"Hinata… do you… uhm, maybe, kind of… like me?" Naruto managed to get out.
Too terrified to speak Hinata just shook her head violently.
Seeing that he smiled at her and she knew, without a doubt, that this was going to be a really good day. "Want to get some ramen?"
"YES!" She glomped on to him and refused to let go. Kind of enjoying the friction he carried her out. Both of them completely forgetting they were supposed to meet with the Hokage.
Twenty minutes later the door to her office opened and Tsunade stepped out with Jiraiya. Looking about she saw only Kakashi standing there. "That's odd, I wonder where Sakura and Naruto are and I was wanting to speak with Hinata too."
Jiraiya grinned at her. "Maybe the three of them have something better to do."
She frowned at him. "Don't be disgusting. You need to clean up that dirty mind of yours."
"Oh come on Tsunade what's the harm?"
Still not noticing anything around him Kakashi flipped through the pages. Flip, flip, flip, ah, here we are the very best part of all! Giggling like a school boy he began to read out loud again without knowing it.
"'Don't go Jibaiya,' cried out the buxom and sex starved Toonana. 'Though I am the Mokage and leader of this village I am nothing if I don't have you by my side. For all my strength I know I am not and never have been your equal. Since the day you took the bells and left me tied helpless to a post I have known you were the only one for me! Stay and let me make love to you again and again in any manner you prefer. Take me and bend me to your will but only stay here with me!' Jibaiya turned to her. 'You know Toonana that you are the most amazing and satisfying lover I have ever know. Your magnificent breasts are like two great hills that I never tire of camping on. But I fear no one woman will ever be enough for the great newt sage. I must go out and find more hills to climb and fields to plow.' Toonana took his hands and planted them atop her hills. 'Then come and plow my field just once more before you leave again.' Jibaiya smiled at his former teammate. 'Very well, it has been fifteen minutes after all.'"
Kakashi suddenly stopped as he noticed a monstrous killer intent filling the room and spilling out. He noticed Shizune, the ANBU, and all the secretaries running past him in fear for their very lives. Before him he saw Tsunade literally shaking with anger and a very pale Jiraiya trying to back away from her.
"Let me explain." He whimpered.
"YOU DAMN PERVERT!"
Kakashi had no idea what was going on but knew enough to run.
It had been a week since that strange day at the tower. Sakura had been locked in her room eating ice cream and mumbling something about five million over and over again. Naruto had been spotted kissing Hinata all over the village while trying to avoid Hiashi. He really wanted to find out how that had happened, but today he was answering a summons to the hospital. Approaching room 415 he carried a large bouquet of flowers. Entering the room he saw the patient still in a full body cast. The only part of his body not in a cast was his right arm and face.
"How are you feeling Jiraiya-san?"
The famous Sannin actually gave him a warm smile. "Hello Kakashi, actually I'm feeling much better thank you. Tsunade finally agreed to let the doctors give me pain medication. I should be out of here in another month."
Kakashi shook his head sadly. "I still can't believe the Hokage did this to you. Do you have any idea why?"
"Oh I have a pretty good notion as to the cause." He said simply. The entire time his hand continued to fly over a keyboard. "Actually I don't blame her for this. I blame the person who incited her."
"Who would that be?"
"Oh a certain Jonin you and I both know. But hey I didn't ask you to come here to talk about that. I wanted you to be the very first to read a book in a whole new series."
"A new book?" Kakashi said excitedly.
"Yes, it's only a short story but I had a copy rush made and delivered here. I want you to be the very first to see it!"
Kakashi took on a worried look beneath his mask. "But wait! I thought the Hokage had banned you book in Konoha. I know I was heartbroken when the ANBU confiscated my entire collection."
"Yes that does hurt, but the ban is only for the Icha Icha series. This one is completely new. I call it the Forbidden Love series." He pointed to a package on the table next to him. "There it is take a look."
"Forbidden Love? Well that sounds interesting." He quickly tore open the package. What he saw surprised him. The cover to this book was green not the familiar orange. But what really concerned him was what was on the cover. "What is this?"
"This cover, it has a grey haired ninja chasing after a dark haired ninja with a bunch of little hearts between them. Shouldn't there be a girl on the cover? And why does the grey hair ninja look like me?"
"Like I said it is a very different series. As for the resemblance you are imagining things. Here, let me read you a short passage."
"Having finally cornered the one he longed for in a dark room he pulled down his mask to reveal his lips. Hakashi, the famed mimic nin, spoke with a tremble in his voice. 'Now my eternal rival and partner Mighto Gay we are alone at last. Let us embrace and share the sweet forbidden love that only two men such as ourselves can know.' 'Yosh my eternal rival Hakashi I am sorry but I simply do not care for you that way.' Hakashi let loose a girlish giggle. 'Oh Gay! How can you know what you have an appetite for until you tasted? Taste a little bit of everything and then decide.'"
Jiraiya looked up from the laptop and was pleased to see the horror on Kakashi's face.
"Yosh! Kakashi my eternal rival. At last I know your true feelings! Let us embrace and warm ourselves with our fires of youth."
Kakashi turned around to see Guy standing in the door way clutching another copy of the same book.
"Oh I'm sorry," Jiraiya apologized. "I must have forgotten, I had a copy sent to every ninja in the village. Don't know how that could have slipped my mind."
Kakashi contemplated which was the best form of seppuku as he leapt out the window. "Wait my eternal rival! Do not run from your feelings! I will not reject you." Guy chased after him.
Jiraiya leaned back into his cast and relaxed. He was already thinking about the plot for the next volume of Icha Icha.