A/N: The songfic is Staind, It's been a while, and it was complicated to add this up to Jane Seymour but I think I made her human, and you will see her positive and negative sides.
BTW thanks to all of my reviewers for my other stories in TBP and of the Wive's Death Saga. Tell me if you would like me add a song for my previous fics and I will and even credit it to you or if you want me to add other to my future Wives fics.
"It's been a while since I could hold my head up high ..
"It's been a while since I could hold my head up high ..
And it's been a while since I first saw you,
and it's been a while since I can stand on my own two feet again...
and it's been a while since I could call you.
My name is Jane Seymour, third wife to King Henry VIII. I was born after his first two Queens, and I was the youngest of them all but not the fairest as the Snow White tale goes.
"And everything I can remember
It's fucked up as it all may seem ...
Katherine my first Mistress whom I served with all the loyalty a girl can give to a good Queen, was beautiful, intelligent, a fighter and a good Regent (sometimes even better than the King himself) with white ivory skin, hair like fire which often matched her temper in all of her battles fought with Henry, and last but not least her eyes, they were hypnotic as her gaze was intimidating.
"The consequences that are rendered,
I stretch myself beyond my limbs ...
Then there was her ... Ann Bullin who on orders of the King and my father became my second Mistress, although I never really recognized her as such for in reality she was a nobody, a fake Queen put on Katherine's throne because of my own husband's desire to sleep with a woman who had denied him pleasure unlike other English roses for 7 years.
I never liked being under her hawk eyes, they were eyes that were hook for the soul, witchcraft was whispered around her but yet as much as I hated that woman, I did not believe a single word of this nonsense because even in my innocence I knew there was no such thing as witchcraft.
"It's been a while since I wasn't addicted ... and,
it's been a while since I can say I loved myself, and ...
As stupid as I may appear to my peers now that I am Queen, and soon to die after I delivered His Majesty's hope for England; I realized and perhaps many now know that there are different types of courage and different types of dignity.
One can have the dignity to die and never really do something in life, like Katherine and Anne Boleyn, or have the dignity to live while not having a "dignified death" like the previous Queens who in all truth died with dignity, but in their lives now I have realized that they did cause too much pain to many innocents.
Anne stepped over many and her actions murdered innocents lives when she could have persuaded the King to stop to save those who were not of her religion, in the end she only saved those that suited her and the new ways.
Katherine on the other hand, killed people on the field of Flodden and while it was to defend a country; it does not make her killing any more justifiable then Anne's, as much as I admire the woman that I served with a loyal heart and soul, I acknowledge what she did. She like Anne stepped over a powerful woman like Margaret Beaufort to get what she wanted. And Anne did not hesitate to step and cause suffering over others in different ways, but yet suffering as Katherine had done too.
"It's been a while since I've fucked things up.
just like I always do ...
and it's been a while,
And me? Well I did step over one person, but my actions were held by protestants and by Cromwell alike as unforgivable, even some Catholics criticized me for it. How could they? When Anne herself had caused too much pain, and Katherine had been filled with more pride than me; am I to be remember by her demise and not by my son, while those two women, one a great woman and the other who I now recognize to have had some valor of her own, will be remembered for all of their pride and struggles as victims and historic heroines, and all of the innocent slaughtered at their actions will be forgiven and forgotten.
" ... but all that shit seems to dissapear when I am with you.
'Henry' My mind whispers as I start to drift into dizziness. Why is it that in my hour of need Henry is not here? Does he really hate me for not being Anne or Katherine?
Is that all he wanted from me? A submissive wife with no voice and ears to his doings and goings?
"And everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it may seem ...
the consequences that I've rendered, I've gone and fucked things up again
All of my life and what is left of it, was because of Henry. I was always told that I would never amount to anything because of my piety and my silly dignity, my sister even laughed and threw me many times in shame and in jealousy. Now that I finally have it all; why is it that I will not see my child grow up?
"Why must I feel this way?
"Just make this go away,
just one more peaceful day ...
I think I know, as I lay sleeping, I don't feel like I am going to wake up, I was not the fairest or somebody to be remembered like them, you know who, but I know that I will die, I just hope to see my son wherever I am going and to let him know that despite what he might be told of his mother, that his mother was not a stupid silly naive girl who caused the death of another innocent. No.
She was a fighter, a woman, a bitch when she wanted to defend her pride and her honour, and ... a mother.
I am the mother of Edward, not the future King (for I know he will be one and a great one at that) or a future son of England, but of Edward, my son and my legacy and may Mary Tudor whom I have loved not as a daughter but as a friend and sister, may she take care of Edward and if he causes her pain, may she forgive him, may she nurture him as I have been a sister and perhaps a mother to her.
"And it's been a while,
since I could look in myself straight ...
My eyes close and I realize all the voices, Lady Rochford is strolling with pride, but I no longer care for that wretched woman's planning, I am finally dead and for the first time in my life ... at peace.
"And it's been a while ... since I said ...
"I am sorry."
I travel to distant lands, my soul travels to many stars and places, and I know where I am, I see all the weird faces and the gay manners, and as I see my former enemy smile at me I give my gracious smile, there is no need to fight or quarrel with old enemies and friends, we are all at peace now, and as such as a great prophet once told us "Love each other"
A/N:It was difficult doing about Jane Seymour, because although she may not be my favorite character, I believe she deserves a human side, like I said I was going to make all of the wive's POV's in their deaths, so it seemed fair to start with Jane Seymour next.
Hope you like it, and like I said it was very difficult doing one about her, since she is not my favorite but she is human and she deserves to have a human side portrayed with her negative as her positive side.