BPOV

Jasper called all of us downstairs. I sat on Edward's lap. "Ok you guys. We have some videos to watch." Jasper said and he put in a video. The video was of Lil Es yeeeahh.

"Jasper." Esme warned. The video ended and Jasper put in Sparkle. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Esme looked like she would die again if possible. Jasper put in Rocker Esme.

"Wow, Esme, you're hardcore." Emmett said. Esme shot him a glare. Jasper put in Boop De Boop in. Esme went into a kind of dazed state. Then Jasper put in Hip Hop Esme. Esme buried her face into her hands. Then Jasper put in Redneck Esme. I laughed at that and Esme glared at me.

"Then here is the bet." Jasper smiled. It showed Esme and Emmett pole dancing. I though Esme was going to explode and I was right. Esme jumped up and started to dance and sing.

"They see me mowin' my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so
White and nerdy

Fuck you right all right
Going at your neck like a fuckin dog bites
I woke up this morning eyes half closed
Looked into the mirror and said damn im cold
Damn im cold and my hoe
Pimp shit nigga keep paying my hoe
Damn Im cold man im throwed
I said damn im cold, hot damn im cold

I can't stop
I just can't stop loving you
I can't stop my hands from holding you
There must be a reason why I feel so free
No, I can't stop, no, no, no, no
You and me, you and me

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

Cause I'm a redneck woman
And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin' it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah

We were parked out by the tracks
We're sitting in the back
And we just started getting busy
When she whispered "what was that?"
The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are
And that was when she started screamin'
"That's my dad outside the car!"
Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition
Must have wound up on the floor while
we were switching our positions
I guess they knew that she was missing
As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was
kissing
Screamin'

All my stripper friends
All my ex-boyfriends
We all want the same thing
We all want the same thing
Body's in the bar
Reaching for the stars
We all want the same thing" Esme sang rap, hip hop, jazz, pop, rock, and redneck in one mixed up song.

"How do we figure this out? Who speaks hiprapjazzypoprockredneck?" Carlisle asked. I had an idea. I pulled out my cell phone and called Jake. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Bella." Jake said.

"Hey Jake, I need your help. Can you come to the Cullen house?" I asked.

"Sure thing Bella." Jake said then we hung up.

"Helps on the way." I said. Esme started to sing again,

"Well I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

Everybody strikes out nine times out of ten
But you got to step up to the plate son 'cause every now and then
(Fast ball)
She walked right up to me
(Here's the pitch)
Said could I take you home
(Theirs a drive)
Hey boys I'll see you later
(It could be, it...it is!)
Goin' goin' goin' gone
(Swing batter batter swing batter batter swing batter batter swing

Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you like my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

When your sweetie tells you, everything'll be okay,
Just skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day!

If you feel like shoutin', advertise it just this way:
And skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day!

Don't give a hang what words you use at any time,
Sing this silly language, without any reason or rhyme.

When you face the preacher, there's only one thing to say:
Just skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-day

Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Hoe
Now Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Hit The Dance Floor
Now Bend Your Back Low
She Do It Wit No Hands
Now Stop Pop And Roll
I'm Smoking Bubba Hoe
Now they in trouble hoe
I Like The Way She Move
An Undercover Hoe
Now Everybody Leaning
I Make The Crowd Rock
Now Gone And Walk It Out
I see they on my jock
She Like That Bubble Gum
Is They The Double Meant Twins
2 Hoes Choosing Me
So I Know That Imma Win
It's On Once Again
Patron One Again
I Threw My Head Back
Then I Froze Like The Wind
West Side Walk It Out
South Side Walk It Out
East Side Walk It Out
North Side Walk It Out"" Esme sang and danced. Just then the doorbell rang and I let Jacob in.

"What's the problem?" Jake asked. I pointed to Esme.

"She is a hiprapjazzypoprockredneck addict! I need someone who could speak all of those in one go and your can. Can you please?" I asked. Jake nodded and he approached Esme.

"Lil Sparkle De Boop Redneck Es, you want to listen to the ghettosist noizze around this big town?" Jake said like a gangster and pop addict.

"Sure Jakeykins, let's bend out backs low and get down." Esme said. We all walked to the piano room and Edward started to play.

"So Lil Sparkle De Boop Redneck Es, how y'all like that dope de dope?" Jake asked.

"Jacob, I seriously think you need help." Esme said sweetly.

"Jasper, hid her I-pod till we clean it, hid the videos, hid all our music. And Carlisle's books on music." I said. Jasper took off and hid everything.

"Esme did the impossible." Emmett laughed.

"Wait why is Jacob here?" Esme asked.

"I dunno." Jake said.

"Well out before my house smells and my nose burns off." Esme shooed him out the door.

"Your welcome." Jake yelled as Esme threw him outside. I laughed. Esme had done the impossible. She was the first vampire hiprapjazzypoprockredneck addict. No more but classical for Esme.