Over the beautiful landscape of a random town the GAang were staying in- and trashing- the creepy mutant animals of the Avatar world that Nickleodeon has never seen the need to explain (AHEM! Nuclear Explosion…) warbled their freakish mating calls.
The Avatar was waking. He rolled over, still having not accommodated a sleeping bag (even Katara wouldn't share!) opened one eye, and groaned. He then rolled back the way he had come and set to work falling asleep again. Aang was not a morning person. In your Avatar World, sure he is. He's the Da Lai Lama, Buddha and Morgan Freeman rolled into one. But in the world of Reversed Psychos…well you'll be enchanted/horrified to be told that Aang…
He's an emo kid. If you give him some eyeliner he may even sing you the song. (Youtube it)
In the world of Reversed Psychos his eyes are more dolled up than the chick that played him on Ember Island. He can bend all four elements whilst moaning about it.
His arrow goes over one eye.
Katara was the next to wake up, and she embraced the morning air. She breathed it in up to her eyeballs and let it out with a gust of wind that could rival Aang's- bending wise…! She straightened up, wobbled, and stumbled over to the oven- that's right, they're under a roof this time- and started to throw some ingredients together. Once she gathered enough, she stared at the unlit stove. She was still half-asleep, so it took her a moment to realize that she needed fire.
"Zuko." She grumbled. A snore. Silence, "…ZUKO!"
A snort. More silence. A huff of impatience.
"Do I see honour?" She said theatrically to no one in particular.
"Oh honey, don't get in a tizzy, I'm up." Came a soft voice. Zuko rolled to his feet with a complex move and sauntered over, "You need some fire, Sweetie?"
Katara nodded grumpily. Zuko bent down so he was level with the wood underneath where evidently the fire went, twiddled his fingers delicately and blew a kiss into the stove. Merry flames sprung to life. He straightened up, winked at Katara and strutted back to his space.
"I'll have a black coffee, doll."
Ok, if you can't hear his voice in your head like I can, it's a bit obvious that Zuko has some…feminine tendencies. The GAang had accepted this, ever since Zuko had bitch slapped them all in his hunt-for-the-avatar days. In fact, when he'd joined the group the girls had taken advantage of his knowledge of hair and styling.
Katara set to work frying Cobra-Elephant-Monkey eggs and moose-leopard-bear bacon, and then Zuko woke up properly and smelt the...well the figurative moose-leopard-bear bacon. And it wasn't good. In his bleariness, he'd forgotten the most important rule of the GAanghood.
Never let Katara do anything. ESPECIALLY cook!
He sprung up, hurried over to the stove and inconspicuously as possible elbowed the accident-prone (prone meaning magnet in this case) out of the way, taking her place at the cooker and brandishing a spatula as if he'd been there all morning. She flopped to the floor, her bunny slippers waving in the air.
"What are you doing?" She asked through her legs, wounded. Zuko glanced at her sideways.
"I'm preventing the apocalypse- we're meant to be waiting for the comet for that, hun- and I want my slippers back some time!" He went back to ignoring her. She shuffled back to her sleeping bag, and then made out that she meant to trip and fall flat on her face as she attempted to wiggle back into it.
A few minutes after that, Toph sat up from her slumber, sniffing delicately.
"Cobra-Elephant-Monkey eggs?" She exclaimed, sitting up and scrunching her little toes in delight, "I love Cobra-Eleph- uh wait." She said, stalling suddenly and taking another sniff, "You…you scrubbed the stove surface before, right?"
Zuko rolled his eyes, "Come and get them while they're toasty, Toffee!"
She wrinkled her nose primly at that cringe worthy nickname, but wrestled out of her sleeping back, that was on a raised piece of earth. Toph would rather do something completely gross like picking her nose, or biting her nails than sleep on the horrible dirty floor. Rootling around in her bag, she found her flip flops (made from extra sensitive material, to feel the vibrations thus providing her with sight), and slipped them onto her pristine feet, before setting foot gingerly on the dusty floor, clutching her anti-bacterial wipes to her chest. Because Toph was a neat freak. Anything to do with dirt and she'd completely seize-up. Which was unfortunate, since this made her terrified of her own element.
"Here, doll." Zuko simpered, guiding her hands to a plate of breakfast. She held it up to her little nose, gave a sniff, granted it edible and set it down at the table, wiping her hands, the cutlery and her seat before tucking in with elegant nibbles.
Then Suki was up. And by up, I mean WAY up- stratosphere kind of up, the kind of up that has hallelujah choruses and harps for backing music and bright lights.
"Come ON, guys, let's get this day STARTED!" She called through a rolled up piece of paper that Sokka had tried to fashion into a fan for her as a silly love token. The rest of them had nearly killed him for providing the girl with means of amplifying her voice to the extent that it was past loud and bordering number seven on the rictus scale.
She shimmied over to Zuko and started to do some elaborate stretches and jogging on the spot as she waited for her share of breakfast. Zuko raised an eyebrow and pulled away the plate when she reached for it.
"I don't really think that's a good idea, Suki." He said delicately, but all the while laying it on as thick as he could, "Or does Sokka like the love handles?"
Suki came to a halt even quicker than she'd started, glancing down at her tiny hips and breaking out in a cold sweat. She brought her wide brown eyes up to his, full of trust and respect. He gave her a sympathetic look.
"How 'bout a lap around the village?" He suggested sweetly. She nodded seriously and was gone with a cloud of dust in her mist before he could even suggest two. Toph went into her own little panic, swatting away the mites and taking deep breaths, at the same time trying not to breath them in. Zuko was never really a fan of Suki- but he tried not to be too obvious about it. Sissy or no sissy, she had a mean right-hook, and plus- she absolutely adored Zuko, she thought he was so cool. So the fact that she'd do whatever he'd tell her regardless of the consequences, or how much it pissed of Sokka, was just hilarious to him.
And last, but certainly not least, there was Sokka. With a groan, a wriggle, a snort and a fart, he had awoken.
I know what you're thinking- what has changed?
Bear with me, here.
"Yeah, Sokka, come and get it!" Zuko called cheekily. Sokka flung off his sleeping bag, sprung to his full height, and stretched- and flexed- in the morning sunlight. His muscles rippled happily and his chin bore fully fledged stubble before his shave.
That's right, in the parallel world of Reversed Psychos, Sokka had hit puberty. And pretty hard too. He could take anyone out. He didn't even need a sword- he'd never learnt the art. Ever since thirteen, he had the brawn to knock out a full-grown Seal-Walrus-Polar-Bear in his home, the South Pole. By fourteen he could challenge wrestlers- his dream. At fifteen he'd wooed Suki and together they were probably the most annoying couple- just imagine cheerleader x jock on more steroids than usual.
Oh- and his voice didn't squeak at all!
So as Sokka drags Aang and Katara from their slumber to have breakfast with only a pinkie each, I'm pretty certain you're asking yourselves: What do we do with all this psychotic talent?
Believe me- a lot...!
To Be Continued- obvs!