(Author's Note:This is just something random I thought of. Hope you enjoy it!D Abbreviations are as follows
HT-Henry Tudor, AB-Anne Boleyn, AC-Anne of Cleves, KH-Katherine Howard, and of course, the interviewer, Me!)
When one thinks of King Henry the Eighth, they think of an bumbling, power-hungry, obese, pig who sent two of his SIX wives to their deaths. Is this portrayal of the larger-than –life monarch that is so often seen in movies and television series accurate? Yours truly had a chance to interview him, ALONG with his six wives, to see what they had to say about their lives, loves, and thoughts about each other….This is TUDOR TALK!
( Due to the length, I have split this interview into two parts)
Part 1-Henry, Anne, Katherine Howard, and Anne of Cleves
Me-So Henry, how do you feel about being villianized in many movies, books, and televisions shows?
HT-Villianized? What the devil do you mean? I believe those mayvies and tevies show me as a man who stuck to his principles!
Anne Boleyn stifles a laugh.
(Henry looks at Anne angrily.) I wouldn't be laughing if I were you madam.
AB-What will you do if I laugh husband? Cut off my head? No, wait, you already did that.
HT-I did it because YOU were cheating on me and FAILED to give me a son. (Starts to murmur softly) I didn't want to do it though…Cromwell started it!
AC-It's a bit too late to change your mind though…
(At this time I attempt to steer them back to the prepared questions)
Me-So Henry, which one of your wives do you think was the best queen? In other words, who do you think really made a difference in England?
AB-Oh God, he's going to say Jane Seybore….
HT-Why not? She's practically the only one who knew her proper place as a woman!
AB-Oh Henry, it isn't 1530 anymore. Women have more STATUS now.
HT-I'm quite aware of that. It's horrid really.
KH-I think it's nice. You're able to choose who you get to marry…who you really love…
KH-I'm so glad I got beheaded…
Me-Aww..you're glad you got…WAIT WHAT?
KH-Or else I wouldn't have been able to been with Culpepper…
AB-Better beheaded than life with a sadistic chauvinist pig eh?
HT- Why are you so insulting Anne? You were the one that slept with Smeaton…and your brother…
AB-That's complete and total rubbish and you know it. Scratch that, the whole world knows it!
HT-(Whispers) I'm completely aware of it . But why would I admit it?
AC-Because you still loved her didn't you?
HT-OF COURSE NOT! She's a…
(Anne looks at him with a hard stare, and Henry pointedly tries to ignore her)
AB-Hmmm….Someone hasn't grown with the times(Smiles)
HT-Course not. I'm dead.
Me- So, Anne..
AB and AC-Yes?
Me-Sorry, I mean Anne Boleyn.
Me- I was wondering how YOU felt about your various portrayals in movies and television shows…
AB-To be honest, I think they give me too much credit…But I do love...that Dormer girl…although she's far prettier and a LOT more buxom than I! (Laughs heartily)
Me-What do you mean "too much credit?"
AB-They've cast me as one of the tragic, doomed queens. While I do agree that my end was no bright ray of sunlight, a lot of things came along because I chose to go along with it. It's not like I was forced to do what I did, which was becoming queen, and effectively usurping the crown from Queen Katharine.
KH-(Nods) Death gives you a lot of time to think about how you did in life.
Me-That's very honorable Anne, but surely you know now(with the advancing times), that you were pretty much not to blame for the main thing you were executed for, which was failure to produce a male heir?
AB-Oh, I knew it wasn't my fault, or Katherine's, and I said it too. My need to be heard was not proper for a woman during my time. How I wish I was born in the 20th century…
Me-That's quite admirable…Katherine….seeing as you met the same end as your cousin…what are your feelings about your various portrayals in the media?
KH-Well, for one thing, I wasn't THAT stupid. My love of Tom wasn't so blatantly obvious…I was well aware of what happened to Anne…(no offense cousin)
AB-None taken. Although I never cheat-
Everyone else-WE KNOW ALREADY!
KH-Henry, you really did me a favor by executing me. Thank you! (smiles brightly)
HT-Erm…I did? Your welcome?
KH-Although, executions are not a sunny walk in the gardens so to speak!
AB-It's more of a dank stroll in the jakes.
AB-Oh, sorry, bathrooms.
Me-(Filled with a bit of morbid curiousity.) Um. Anne, Katherine…did it…did it…
AB-Quicker and easier than falling asleep!
AC-You've finally read the Harry Potter book I gave you!
Me-I LOOOOVE HARRY POTTER!
To Be Continued...