Author's Note: Hello Everyone! How art thou this fine summer's day? Or night…Or…Well you get it!
Sorry I've taken so darn long to update. As always, thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, etc. Really makes me smile!
I promise I'll respond to your messages ASAP!
As soon as I get the blown tire on my mom's car fixed...Oops.
I do hope I did King James of Scotland some justice MissWendyBird! If not...feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me. XD
HT8: Henry the Eighth
KF: King Francois( Is it Francois, or Francis?)
ET: Elizabeth Tudor
BAR: Random Flirty Barista
SHAKE: William Shakespeare
JR: Jane Rochford
KOA: Katharine of Aragon
KJ: King James IV of Scotland
TB: Thomas Boleyn
AT: Arthur Tudor
MQOS: Mary Queen of Scots.
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE TUDORS. Although sadly, I wish at the moment that I owned some cookies. Om nom nom.)
HT8: Why are we in a coffee shop?
KF: Even kings need caffeine!
HT8: Aha! I'm surprised you gave away your weakness so quickly!
KF: I prefer to call it…indulgence….in decadence.
BAR: Wow, you make coffee sound so sexy!
KF: How could I not? Drinking the beverage makes me feel ever more so…..virile.
HT8: Harrumph. What did your virility help you with again? Recieving the French pox?
KF: A present I would have returned, but alas!
BAR: (Hanging on Francois's every word) What happened?
KF: The lady neglected to leave the gift receipt!
BAR: Well, if you need a job to pay off your…debts, you're welcome here. Better than….THAT GUY.
(The Barista points to the corner, where Shakespeare is holding two cups of coffee)
SHAKE: Friends! Romans! Countrymen! LEND ME YOUR LATTEES!
BAR: He's been botching Shakespeare all day!
SHAKE: Frappuchino, Frappuchino, wherefore art thou Frappuchino? It is the east, and Starbucks is…THE SUN.
KF: Oh no madame! I do believe a writer has the right to edit his own work!
BAR: You're saying that's….Shakespeare.
BAR: Of course he is. And I'm the Queen of England.
ET: Did someone call me?
BAR: Are all of you headed to a renaissance fair or something?
KF: Non! We were just headed back to my castle
BAR:(Flirting) I would be honored to see it one day, your majesty.
KF: I'll make sure to open up my moat.
HT8: Come on you idiot, time to go.
KF: But….but….we need our coffee…..
HT8: But…but…WE'RE DEAD YOU IMBECILE. CAFFEINE WON'T CHANGE THAT!
ET: What's this? Is my father actually being the voice of reason?
HT8: Are you proud of me Bessy?
ET: I've always been proud to be your daughter.
ET: But of course. Now come. I wish to start our Disney Movie party already.
KF: OOH, CAN WE START WITH THE LITTLE MERMAID?
HT8: No, we're watching the Lion King.
KF: THE LITTLE MERMAID.
HT8: THE LION KING! HAKUNA MATATA!
ET: We're watching Hercules first. Come along kings.
KF, HT8: (Defeated) As you wish.
(Now, open up your imaginations faster than a bag of cookies, because now our heros are at a CASTLE!)
HT8: Are you sure this is the right castle?
KF: But of course! I rented it out, just for our Disney Movie party!
ET: The setting hasn't changed since last chapter father.
HT8: BUT THIS IS PRINCESS PEACH'S CASTLE! I THINK I WOULD'VE NOTICED!
KF: So you play video games too? THIS PLEASES ME GREATLY!
ET: Careful with your words Francois, you might just set off secret Henry/Francois shippers!
JR: I KNEW IT! TUMBLR AWAITS!
HT8: Was that….
ET: Jane Rochford.
HT8: Oh dear.
KF: Oh dear is right. Who is that standing at my castle entrance?
KJ: You don't recognize me?
KJ: Surely you recognize me Henry?
HT8: Can't say I do!
KOA: You may not recognize the man, but perhaps you'd remember his bloody coat?
HT8: OMG. YOU'RE THE KING OF SCOTS!
KJ: Is that what my legacy is reduced to? A soiled article of clothing?
KOA: Sorry James. That's what happens when you invade my country.
HT8: Excuse me madam, it was, and still is MY COUNTRY!
KOA: Do you want me to reduce your legacy to a bloody article of clothing as well?
KF: Oh ho ho! How on earth will you respond to that Henry?
HT8: Shut up Francois!
KF: Only trying to help…(*Sniffles*)
KOA: Oh look, now you've hurt his feelings!
KJ: DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS?
(Henry, Francois, and Katharine head inside the castle, ignoring James. Elizabeth stays, looking amused.)
ET: I'm impressed!
KJ: By what? My intellect? My delectable Scottish looks?
ET: Your ability to make Katharine of Aragon visibly upset. No small feat!
(Elizabeth saunters into the castle, leaving James, who runs in quickly after her.)
KF: Oh boo hoo, Henry hates meeeeee…..
HT8: That's not true Francois, you know I say things I don't mean in fits of temper.
AT: Look at you two sounding like an old married couple.
KF: Ooh, who gets to be the husband?
HT8: DON'T ENCOURAGE MY BROTHER!
KF: So you are the famous brother-who-died!
AT: I do have a name you know.
KOA: Such a lovely name really.
KOA: My dear Artie.
AT: You look hot.
AT: I MEAN YOU LOOK QUITE LOVELY.
KF: Your brother seems to be overtaken by lust Henry! Are you not jealous that he called Katharine hot?
HT8: They've always been married in the eyes of God. Why should I care if he likens her to a temperature?
AT: We never slept together.
HT8: Course you did. Did you not say the day after your wedding night that you needed a drink because you had, "Been in the midst of Spain?"
AT: (Blushing furiously) A teenager's cockiness….
KOA: World Geography was never Arthur's strong suit.
HT8: Still say that you two did the deed!
AT: Aw, is my wittle brother trying to defend the validity of his marriage to the lady Anne?
HT8: I DID NOT MARRY SHE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED!
AT: Are you sure? I had a look at some of your love letters to her. They were so sweet.
KOA: How on earth did you get those? I thought they had ended up in the Vatican Archives?
AT: Oh my dear, I have my ways.
ME: How did those end up at the Vatican anyways?
HT8: I almost forgot about you Lady Interviewer!
ME: Why thank you. It's nice to know I am so loved.
AT: I apologize for my dear brother's insensitivity.
HT8: Don't apologize for me!
AB: Be careful Arthur, if you started apologizing for all of Henry's faults, you might die again from exhaustion!
AT: The warning is much appreciated.
HT8: Any faults I have madam, are eclipsed by your many flaws TEN FOLD!
AB: It's nice to see you too.
KF: Anne! Now that you're here, the party can TRULY BEGIN!
KJ: I object!
HT8: Oh, what NOW?
KJ: There is one thing I must know!
KOA: Oh, I'll get your cursed coat dry-cleaned!
KJ: That is not it! Although... that would be nice!
KF: Hurry with your inquiry then! I can only afford to rent this castle for so long!
KJ: Don't rush me Frenchman! Why did you bar my descendants from your succession Henry? WHY?
HT8: That is a matter between me and Margaret!
ET: James, you have failed to realize who I named as my successor.
MQOS: My son! My beautifully amazing and wonderful son!
ET: Ah yes, I left my throne to Queen James.
MQOS: You're just jealous!
ET: That he had more male admirers than I?
MQOS: That I ultimately triumphed over you!
ET: I really did feel bad about having you executed you know.
HT8: That is why women shouldn't rule! They get too emotional over matters!
AB: Just stop. Just stop talking.
HT8: It's true!
AB: I don't think you can talk until you have an era named after you.
HT8: That's true! Bessy, why didn't you have my reign named as the Henrician Era?
ET: My apologies Father, I was a bit busy.
AB: Oh, don't apologize, he's just upset his reign didn't get called, "The Golden Age."
KF: SACRE BLEU!
(Everyone whirls around to see Francois, standing at the entrance to the next room. )
Me: The whole room's been ransacked!
KF: THEY'VE TAKEN ALL THE DISNEY MOVIES!
HT8: Who could've done such a heinous thing?
AB: Someone who obviously didn't realize they could just download all the movies on Netflix.
HT8: I bet it was Wolsey!
AB: When is it not?
KOA: I third that! Who else could it have been?
TB: LET'S SEND THAT BASTARD TO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL!
KOA: I imagine you're well acquainted with that area!
Me: Papa Boleyn! How have you been?
TB: Trying to buy stock in Cromwell Coffees.
HT8: TREASON! TREASON!
AT: Shut up brother, I've discovered the perpetrators!
KF: What a weak cliffhanger!
Me: Oh shut up, I need to go sign up for summer school!
KOA: Until next time readers!
Thank you all so so so so so so so much for reading! :D