An Amusing Intermission
By: El Chacal
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the idea for this story. If I did, it would be produced and made into a skit for Law and Order: SVU. Everything in here belongs to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
A/n: After everything that has occurred in the 10th season of SVU so far, we need to be able to laugh again. So here's my contribution to bring back a smile to SVU fans.
Out in the desert, miles away from civilization, Dana Lewis worked tirelessly as she prepared the trap, primarily consisting of a boulder held in place by a brick with a long rope tied to it, which reached far over a cliff she now stood on to the dirt road below.
Climbing down to the floor, Dana straightened the sign connected to the rope. Looking out to the distance, she saw her intended prey closing in through her binoculars.
She quickly ran back up the cliff and waited.
Running down the road, Elliot felt like he needed to get away from it all.
He had to get away from an over-needy, manipulative ex-wife, a daughter who all but spat in his face and a job that seemed to be daring him to cross the line.
He needed something…or someone.
He knew what he wanted but could he ever get it?
In this stupor, he didn't fail to notice the rope with a sign in front of him. Instantly, he stopped running and looked at the rope. The sign read 'For what you desire most, pull this rope'.
Hmmn, I probably shouldn't pull the rope, Elliot thought to himself before thinking, but I'm probably going to do it anyway.
After a few minutes, he just threw up his hands and said, "My life's already going down the crapper as it is. Something good has to come out of this."
He pulled the rope.
Dana covered her ears and turned her head in preparation for the oversized rock to turn Stabler into a blue-eyed stain on the road.
All of a sudden, the cliff began shaking violently, causing her to bump her head against the boulder before landing painfully on her ass.
Over the loud booming sounds, she could make out the euphoric cries of a woman as she called out Elliot's name in the throngs of an apocalyptic orgasm amidst the miniature earthquake.
When the shaking stopped, Dana peaked over the edge of the cliff and found herself flabbergasted as her jaw practically fell all the way down the edge of the cliff.
There stood a smiling Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson, holding hands and breathless after that ten-round sex fest.
They walked away together happily, hand in hand, until they noticed Dana's car with her keys in the car door. Of all the things Dana could have forgotten, it had to be her keys.
So they jumped in the car and hauled ass for Vegas.
Limping down the cliff, Dana watched at the two smitten lovebirds drove off in her car before stomping her foot petulantly.
Stupid malfunctioning rope. Dana said as she yanked the rope fiercely.
The eerie, unmistakable sound of something falling sent a chill down her spine.
The shadow forming over her confirmed her fear.
Looking up, she put up a sign that read 'Damn you, Dick Wolf!' before she was flattened like a pancake by a boulder that read 'E/O Rules!'
Back up on the cliff, John Munch and Fin Tutuola laughed.
"That's for me getting a slap in the face and a slug in the ass!" Munch screamed, pumping his fist in the air. "I hear ya, John. I couldn't stand that bitch whether she was undercover or not." Fin replied.
An hour later, U.S. Marshall Mary Shannon arrived via her sports car, picked up Munch and Fin and they rode off, leaving the vultures to feed off the remains of the late Agent Dana Lewis.
That's All Folks!
A/n: I got some constuctive feedback and I needed to edit some details. Other than that, it should work now. Whatever is done here is done to make people smile.