Summary:Gippal has a girlfriend and he doesn't know that he's breaking his best friend's heart.
Author's Note: Happy Birthday to ToFadeAwayAgain aka Jezzi! Ahem, this song was inspired by the song Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift. And I did make Rikku/Gippal AMV for the song, however it has been rejected by Youtube and alas you won't be able to see it.
Gippal dipped his fries into the catsup. "You know, I'm really happy." He said without looking at her.
Rikku bit her lip and tried to ignore the pain in her chest. He glanced at her and she smiled at him. "You look it." She forced past the lump in her throat, and it wasn't because of her. There was another girl. Gippal had a girlfriend. Rikku hadn't seen this coming. The two of them were so close. It had seemed like they were on the edge of a real relationship and one step would have put them there and now this.
He leaned back and grinned. "Really?"
"Really." She kept eye contact with force of will. It was the only way she knew how to lie to him. He could read her other tells so easily if he wasn't pinned down by her eyes.
"Well, I am."
Rikku dropped her eyes to the food and picked up a fry. She twirled it around in her fingers. "So, when do I get to meet her?" She took a little bite and swallowed. She didn't want to meet her. She didn't want to know what she had been measured to and lost.
He shrugged. "I don't know."
"She's the love of your life and I don't get to meet her?" Rikku fed the rest of the fry into her face.
"Well…" He shifted. "I just don't think it would be," he paused. "Right. I mean, my girlfriend meeting my best friend who also happens to be a girl."
Rikku grabbed a few more fries and shoved them into her mouth all at once. She wanted to ask how beautiful the other girl was. She bet the other girl was gorgeous, flawless. Gippal had high standards in everything. She bet he had high tastes in girls too. She chewed and swallowed past that stupid lump. She didn't know how to be gorgeous. She only knew how to be cute and flawless wasn't a word even remotely in her vocabulary. Dirty and rumpled was more her thing.
Gippal sucked salt off his fingers. Her eyes snapped to the motion and she forced them to look away. Why did he have to be so perfect? So sexy? He didn't seem to try. He just was!
"Don't you think?" He asked.
"I guess." Rikku shrugged. Her heart pounded. She had to turn this around. She had to. She couldn't give ground to a girl she had never even met. She was Gippal's friend. He'd been hers first. Her eyes narrowed. "If she can't handle me as your friend, then it's her loss."
His jaw dropped a little. "Rikku, that's not nice."
"I'm not always nice."
He rolled his eyes. "You can meet her later, when we're more settled."
Rikku snorted. "Sure." She grabbed the rest of the fries. "Next thing she'll demand that you stop seeing me, since I'm a girl and all." She hooded her eyes so he couldn't see the jealousy.
"She's not like that."
Then why couldn't she meet her? Damn it. She started to eat the fries one by one just so she wouldn't have to answer him. Why had Gippal done this too her? Didn't he know how much she loved him? No. He went and found another girl and now what was she supposed to do. Sit tight and hope. Sabotage the relationship. She didn't want to hurt Gippal and if he loved the girl and was really happy. Being happy for him wasn't good enough. She wanted to be happy for them, them together, because they were meant to be together.
"Rikku. She isn't. Look. She's a great girl and-"
"You're happy." Rikku finished.
"Yeah. I am. I love her."
She just bet he did. She fake smiled at him again. "Good."
"She loves machines and traveling and sports. She wants to live her own life and be with me. It's great." He said. Rikku's heart sank to the vicinity of her toes. She had no chance now. Not if the other girl loved machines and traveled. Gippal continued. "She looks really cute when she's dirty. She makes me laugh." Gippal's eyes became distant.
"She sounds wonderful." Rikku put her hands in her lap to clench her fingers, sobbing on the inside. Did they have to talk about her anymore? She didn't care. She didn't want to know. The other girl had stolen his heart away from her reach and she didn't even know who it was so she could steal it herself. And she'd better take care of, take care of Gippal. The other girl had better hold him and cuddle him. Gippal needed snuggles and cuddles. Touch grounded him. Rikku knew because she'd known him forever and had thought that someday she would need that knowledge. The other girl had better kiss him and treat him right. Or else Rikku was going to come and kick her ass. She'd hurt the other girl physically as much as she had hurt Gippal emotionally.
"Wonderful is a good word."
Rikku's radio tweeted. She almost sobbed aloud in relief. She pushed away from the table and stood. "I better go see what they want." It didn't matter what they wanted. She was going to go back to her bed, curl up around Gippal's picture and bawl for a bit. She needed a good cry until she was exhausted. And then she could take a nap, wake up and go on with her life as if it didn't matter. Or she could try to go on with her life. One didn't lose their first love everyday.
He grinned at her. "The demands of working for yourself." Another commonality that had bound them together that was meaningless now. Where was she going to find another guy who understood the demands work put on her time without demanding her to do something else? She loved what she did.
"Yeah." She smiled back and for the first time since he brought up his girlfriend it was a real smile. She looked down at the table. She should lean over and kiss him. Show him how much of her heart he had and how it'd broken in little tiny pieces. She wouldn't. He was happy. She had always wanted him to be happy, truly happy. That was part of love, wasn't it? "Lunch next week?"
She walked away, head high. She didn't look back. Not even to wave as she usually did. If she did, her charade would break and she'd burst into helpless tears before running away. And he'd run after her and then he'd know what he'd done… and he was happy. She didn't want to make him upset over something he hadn't known about and couldn't control. It wasn't his problem. She would get over it, someday.
He watched her go. He wondered if she would ever figure out he was lying to both of them. Wondered when she would figure out she was the girl he was talking about. He'd have to tell her, when she got up the courage to ask who it was. He hoped that day would come soon. He loved her so much it hurt.
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