There are some things Glass Balls just can't tell you
I sprinted down a corridor, heart thundering and hair frizzing. I had already set time an hour backwards, and the other me was already heading off to Divination, although I would return later to do the lesson over once more to prove Trelawney wrong!
A prediction was all I needed to put that coot in her place. She could go back to her cave and continue to inhale the toxic gases that cause her to misconstrue her hallucinations as viable insights into the future and STAY there!
I took a deep breath and wobbled. Saying all of that aloud had left me light headed.
Now…a prediction. Where did all the interesting things happen? I started munching on a bag of grapes I always carried around with me- powerful brain food! This year, the dementors that got Harry in a tizzy were on the train…but I didn't have a train. Oh and Sirius Black attacked Darling Ron…in his dormitory. Although drawing people's attention to the fact that occasionally I spent time underneath Ron's bed would not be wise. I continued to waltz around the school, thinking so hard my head hurt, although this was normal.
Come on, Hermione, its simple! Perhaps if you caused something momentous, noted down the main events and recited them in the lesson, which would lead the class to go and see for themselves if it happened, which of course it would, then all you'd have to do is leave your past self to do all the work whilst you sit back and look prophetic!
The most straightforward plans are the best ones!
Now…what to cause and then predict…preferably something that will humiliate the old coot.
Her TEA! She always has a dinky little cup of what looks like herbal rat piddle brought to her by a house elf in the middle of every lesson. That had to be brought up by the kitchens! Now, if I were to go and pretend that Professor Trelawney had a new request...something that would not be as beneficial as herbs...
The first prediction was being put in motion!
As I sped off down the corridor I decided to write down the time at which I was doing this, so when my class came down to see another prediction, they wouldn't run into my supposed twin! In fact, perhaps it would be better to disguise myself. I slowed, consulted my reflection in an ancient grandfather clock, and altered my appearance. Now, I had a black bob and heavy eyebrows. I was unrecognisable! At first I toyed with ginger hair, and marvelled at the sight of what Ronald and my children would look like, but it was too noticeable. I had to be subtle.
I reached the portrait that led to the kitchens and knocked on it heavily. A house elf appeared meekly from behind it.
"Yes, Miss?" It squeaked.
"Hello!" I said breathlessly, "I'm here with regards to Professor Coot- I mean Trelawney's hourly cup of tea. She'd like to change it, today, if that's possible."
"Well…certainly!" The little elf replied, "What would she like?"
"Oh. Um…'scuse me a second!" I hastily pulled out my potions booked and flicked through for mild poisins that caused rashes, "Ah…yes she'd like ginger root, essence of blopfyn, and just a dash of ground beetle legs."
The elf looked perplexed as to why anyone would want this combination in a cup of tea, but agreed.
"Oh and she probably won't be in her classroom for the whole of the lesson today, so you'll have to find her. Good luck!" I beamed and went off to find some other disaster to cause.
Ten minutes later, and slightly crestfallen, I was loitering aimlessly around the corridors of Hogwarts, a place that usually thrived with lunacy and exciting drama. Suddenly, Peeves zoomed past. Peeves! Approximately 50% of the chaos around here always leads back to the little bugger!
Momentarily I paused to remove my disguise: perhaps he would be more inclined to be polite to the real me, as I had a good reputation. Even the hell raisers respected those who excelled in their studies!
"Oh Peeves!" I trill, skipping over to him. He looked over from tearing up what looked like a pristine essay, and gave me a baffled look. He seemed confused as to why a student was actually approaching him, instead of running in the opposite direction simply at the sight of him.
"…Yes?" No limerick, no rude joke, nothing! I had succeeded in stringing out a half decent response! Perhaps I should go into Poltergeist counselling…I may well be a natural.
"Oh!" I blustered, realising I had been daydreaming about a possible career in Etiquette. If I kept the little hell raiser waiting who knows what dastardly deeds he'd execute! Although, I hadn't really planned anything to ask him…did I demand that he cause chaos? Someone like Peeves would definitely refuse to do anything just because someone asked him. I needed to buy some time!
"Grape?" I pushed the packet under his nose so he had no choice but to accept one. Raising a suspicious eyebrow, he sniffed one before plopping it in his mouth. He went to say something, most likely something very offensive, but he suddenly seized up…made a strange noise…turned purple.
"Oh!" I said, hopping up and down, "Oh, you're choking!"
He started to make strange warbling noises, shuddering in a rather unattractive fashion.
"This is PERFECT!" I exclaimed delightfully, "Don't move!"
And I sped off around the corner, redoing my disguise as I went. In the time it would take me to fetch Madam Pomfrey, my other self would have time to show everyone that a certain prediction of a choking poltergeist was right!
After I had alerted Madam Pomfrey, I was once again loitering, with a rather big grin on my face. I was so happy that even Mrs Norris couldn't worry me. As she turned to find Filch to alert him of my aimless wanderings around the corridors, I simply pointed my wand at her and trilled: "Mobilichat!" And she zoomed off in the opposite direction, wailing as she went before flying out of the window. Whoops! Well cats do always land on their feet- as I said previously, nothing could bother me. I continued down the corridor with a lithe spring in my step.
Hermione you are BACK on track as the genius you are!
The details of Peeves' choking were secure- second courtyard, at 11.34, saved by Madam Pomfrey.
The details of Professor Trelawney's rash were slightly vaguer- sometime in the current lesson, a rather nasty rash. Heehee!
Now...just one more thing, something only a true seer could forsee, something unexpected and out of the blue…
"Buckbeak! Oi, don' CHEW on my shoe!"
The sounds of Hagrid battling with his hippogriffs were rather distracting. Surely someone who couldn't control his own facial hair shouldn't be put in charge of vicious animals that were…seemingly intent on…destruction…
I was out on the school grounds quicker than Ron's eating habits, making my way towards Hagrid, who was looking rather disgruntled as he went around strapping the hippogriffs' wings together to keep them from flying off.
He looked at me blankly. Oh yes, the disguise.
"Uuummm…Lor…enfa…zina….Baker?" I stammered, "Fourth Year?"
"Uh…oh yeah, I remember yeh, Lor-uuh…Miss Baker." He grunted, lying through his teeth as much as I was, "Shouldn' yeh be in a lesson?"
Oh sure, the moment he's a teacher he gets all responsible! Forget the Fugitive Dragon, or the gigantic Spider with a preference for eating MY RONALD!
"My teacher fell ill!" I said, wobbling slightly. Lying was new to me! "So I thought I'd come and see the hippogriffs, because they're so…lovely…" I said this as a particularly big one decided to release it's bowels in a huge pile, around a metre away from me in the paddock.
Hagrid chuckled, warming to me. All it took was a liking for horrific beasts!
"Well, I got my firs' book since I lef' school in the hut, and it's abou' hippogriffs believe it or not! I'll just go get it for yeh!" And he lumbered back to his little house, leaving me with the hippogriffs.
Now, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but it took a few seconds to muster the courage.
"OH!" I shrieked, as dramatically as I could. "OH HAGRID! THEY'RE…THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!"
And I shot a spell at the big gate, blasting it off its hinges. Elated by their, although restricted from flying, they immediately set off in a stampede towards the castle, where they could probably smell lunch being prepared. Heavy hoofbeats and strange shrieking filled the air, the birds took flight from the trees, Mrs Norris- who still hadn't found her way back into the castle- scarpered instead into the forest. I cackled in glee, but stopped immediately as Hagrid tore towards me. He slowed as he watched them disappear into the castle, before setting off at a sprint after them. I followed- I needed to take down the details of the events, after all!
By the time I got to the Great Hall, all there was to see was the destruction the beasts had left behind, as well as a crowd of excited students, including a huddle of shrieking teenage girls on the stairs.
"Alicia got carried off!" One shouted out, her eyes wide and her face pale.
Now that was an event to note down. I scribbled it down with glee.
This was perfect. Three brilliant predictions, dramatic and believable! I stowed myself away in a cupboard amidst the chaos, and turned time back an hour.