"What did you do in Organization 13?"
He gave me a quizzical look. As if I didn't already know.
"They asked you to do this, didn't they?"
He smiled slightly and said, "Oh, by the way, you guys can come out now."
"Hey, how'd you know we were here?" asked Sora.
He, Riku, and Kairi stepped out guiltily from behind a couple of palm trees.
"It was Sora's idea," accused Riku, trying to sound innocent.
Roxas smiled and answered sarcastically, "Right."
I sighed, "You didn't have to come. I could have gotten him to tell you without you being here."
"No offense Namine, but you're terrible at getting anyone to what you want," said Sora, "Besides you needed moral support."
"Hey guys, I have a question," Sora, Riku, and Kairi turned to face him, "If you guys wanted to know what happened when I was in Organization, why didn't you just ask Namine to tell you?"
"Well, me and Sora woulda just asked Namine," Kairi explained, "But Riku wanted Roxas to tell his own story. He said something about 'accepting the past'.
Riku and Roxas exchanged a look. After we first became our own selves, he and Riku had gotten very close. Maybe they were talking about darkness.
Roxas, still distracting them from their question, inquired, "And why is my story any more important than Namine's or Riku's?"
I was shocked. Roxas would never deflect a question at someone else. Unless of course he really did want me to answer that question. But, that question? Mentioning Castle Oblivion still hurt. And did he really want to know how much I cared for Sora while he was there? Roxas has always been a straightforward person, but still.
Kairi's voice tore me away from my thoughts, "Oh, uh, I guess we never thought about it. I mean, what do we need to know about Riku?"
Roxas raised his eyebrows and said, "Do you know how he denied darkness? As in completely rejected it?"
"Well, wouldn't that be a good thing?" asked Sora.
"Like your friend Leon said, there's darkness in every heart. Not counting Princesses of Heart," he said, glancing at Kairi, "But a person needs darkness just as much as light. Without darkness, your soul will torn apart."
They all stared at him.
Kairi, the first to snap out of it, said quietly, "Why?"
"Well, your soul needs darkness as much as it needs light. But when your hearts denies darkness, your soul puts up a fight. In a battle between your soul and your heart, your hearts gonna win."
I decided to intervene. Roxas was over doing it.
"Roxas, please stop changing the subject."
Riku, deciding that this was his chance to get them away from the subject of his darkness, agreed, "Yeah, get on with it."
Sora, now realizing he had been duped, said, "So will ya?"
Roxas gave me a darn, I almost had them look.
"I...I will. But not now. Not until Namine admits to her's."
"W-Why?" I stammered.
Look, Namine, I doss my story. But so do you. It's not like I don't know you. It's not like I can't tell that you have a lot on your chest."
Those words really pierced me. He did know me better than anyone else. But Sora...
I couldn't answer that question. I gave him a pleading look. He nodded, but it didn't mean he was letting me off the hook. It meant that he understood that I wasn't ready. Not yet. I loved how he could just understand those things.
He stared at the sunset. We had talked to the end of the day. He got up and whispered into my ear, "Tell me when you change your mind."
Would I change my mind? I wanted Roxas to be happy. And, though I knew his story, did he? I had agreed to ask him to tell Sora, Riku, and Kairi because I thought it would help him understand himself. Was he returning the favor?
I got up as well and followed Roxas. Sora, Riku, and Kairi went off to their own houses. Roxas and I boarded at the boarding school Selphie's family owned. They had extra rooms this year, so we were able to get two rooms. We did some accounting and jobs to pay for our rent.
Roxas walked to his room east-facing room.. Roxas liked watching the sunrise. Sometimes I would come watch it with him. We would spend a quiet moment together, just the two of us. Those moments reminded me of the times I shared with Roxas when he was in Organization XIII
"Hey Namine, the moon isn't out in dark ocean world tonight. Wanna come see it with me?"
I smiled. I always enjoyed going places with Roxas.
I stepped through the dark portal he opened. At first, I thought we were still in the sort of sub dimension that we went through when we use a dark portal. I realized now that that was not true. The dark ocean world is completely devoid of light, except for the moon. Tonight the moon was not there.
"Scary, isn't it?"
"Oh, uh, yeah."
I was so glad he was here. I might not have been able to get back without him. And it was comforting to have someone with you in a completely dark place.
We both sat down. This was what I was, right? Something completely devoid of anything, more so than a regular nobody.
Roxas, sensing my sadness, grabbed my hand. We just sat there, silent, looking at nothing.
I tried to sleep, but I couldn't get what we discussed to day out of my mind. Would letting them know me help me learn about myself?It was all so confusing.
Since I could not fall asleep, I just lay there, think, thinking...