Sex Ed. It's a class that enlightens young minds on how it works, how to be careful while doing it, and what happens whenever you don't use protection. The teachers divide the boys and girls in separate classrooms so that they can be taught from different perspectives on how it's done. Even though everybody in Bullworth knew how sex was done (since the majority of the students weren't virgins...except for the nerds, but they're perverts, anyway), the head insisted that this class be taught.
The boys took up the gym (since there were way more males in the school than females) and the girls took Mr. Galloway's classroom. Earnest and the nerds sat in the front row, the loser non-clique students sat behind them, Harrington and his trust fund babies sat behind the non-clique students, Johnny Vincent and his gang of greasers sat away from every body in the top left corner of the bleachers, Ted and his roid monkeys (er-Jocks) sat a row or two in front of the greasers, Russell and the rest of the bullies sat a row below the top right corner, and Jimmy, Petey, and Gary sat in the top right corner of the bleachers. "Ah, sex ed! Well boys, today we're gonna learn how to get viciously raped by a gym teacher. How exciting! And maybe if we're lucky, Burton will show us an example on Femmeboy, here!". Petey shot Gary a mean look and snapped back with, "Shut up, Gary!".
The murmur of voices was loud, indeed. But still somehow, Jimmy was able to hear everybody's conversations. Perhaps it was because since he had been at Bullworth, he had learned to keep his senses open at all times. He would need them to get around this dump of a school.
"Wow! Burton's going to show us breasts!"
"I can't wait to write my mommy and tell her about this!"
"Maybe he'll get Edna to strip for us!"
"I'm glad Mandy isn't in here to scold me for looking at tits...!"
"Aren't you glad that my daddy paid for this program to come here?"
"I'm not confused, I'm SO not confused!"
"I wonder what a "stupid prat" is..."
Before Jimmy could continue to listen, the chatter was silenced by doors slamming. Mr. Burton was clutching large maps and other items tightly in his arms. The smile on his face was impossibly giddy and joyful. Then he dropped the items and walked back to the door and drug in a cart with a laptop and projector on it.
"Good morning, boys! I simply CANNOT wait to teach you fellows about sex! I have been looking forward to this all week!". Gary sniggered and Petey hit him in the side. "Ow, what? I'm just greeting our perverted gym teacher!". Petey just rolled his eyes.
"Okay boys, let's get started. First off, who here knows what "sex" is?". Other than Sheldon and Pedro, every single boy in the gym raised their hands. "Excellent! Now, who wants to explain what sex is?". The ridiculous answers swarmed in like an angry mob.
"It's when you put your dick in her pussy!".
"You beat your meat in her!".
"You stick it in her and pee!".
"You let him-er-...her ride you like a hurricane..."
"What I think about whenever I see Johnny-I-I mean LOLA!"
"JIMMY HOPKINS!...did I just say that out loud?"
Burton's grin widened. "All excellent answers, boys! Now, allow me to show you something VERY nice". Burton walked over to the projector, got everything set up and then turn it on for the whole gym to see. It was a picture of a naked woman.
The whole gym went silent. Burton studied the expressions of all of the boys. Hopkins was in total awe, Smith was scowling heavily, Kowalski was shaking his head in disapproval, the jocks were all in states of euphoria, the nerds looked as if they were about to pass out, all but two greasers were wolf whistling (the two turned out to be the short one named Peanut and that Vincent boy who is constantly angry...these two looked as if they were about to barf their guts out), the non-cliques were speechless (except Sheldon and Pedro, who were asking frantically why the lady had two large bumps on her chest) and the preps were smiling greatly. This gave Burton a brilliant idea.
"Alright, that's what a naked woman looks like, fellows. Now, you already know what a naked man looks like since you see it in the mirror everyday whenever you get dressed. But, it is still mandatory that you see what one looks like and I, unfortunately, don't any pictures. Now, I'm not going to strip for you because that would just be weird. So, I'm going to call a few of you down and you'll have to remove a certain amount of clothing. So come on down whenever I call you: ummm...Gary Smith, Jimmy Hopkins, Johnny Vincent, Larry Romano, and Algernon...ehh...I can't pronounce your last name, Algie". All wondering what was in store for them, the listed boys made their way down to the floor. Jimmy was first in the line-up, next to Gary, who was next to Algie and then Johnny and Peanut. Burton happily marched in front of Algie.
"Since you're the most out of shape out of the bunch, I want you to just take off your shirt and then I want you to take a seat back with your friends". Algie sweated like a madman. We wasn't exactly proud of his body and now that he had to show all of the guys...well...he was HORRIFIED. But, knowing that he had to comply, he just got it over with and took his shirt off and ran right back to the bleachers without even bothering to get his shirt back.
"Algie, take a fucking bath! You WREAK!"
"You need a tan, pauper!"
"Did you ever notice that your fat jiggles, Algie?"
Burton, completely ignoring the fact that the nerd's shirt was still lying on the ground, turned his attention to Gary. "Smith, take off everything but your boxers and have a seat". At first Gary was very uncomfortable with the thought of being nearly nude in the school gym, but he took this as the perfect opportunity to show off a little around Petey. "Okay, stand back everyone. The genius is about show why everybody swoons over this sexy boy!".
Gary jerked his shirt off and dropped it to the floor, revealing nice pair of abs. Afterwards, he unzipped his pants and dropped them to the floor, leaving them. His boxers were white with little lightbulbs textured on them. "What do you think, Femmeboy? I'm pretty fuckable, wouldn't you say?".
Petey's face burned in reddish pink as he tried to turn away, but the movement seemed to fail him. As Gary made his way back up the bleachers, Jimmy shouted out, "Lightbulbs? Damn Gary, you're more full of yourself than I thought!". Gary turned his head and shouted out, "Don't be jealous of pure genius, James!". Then he turned back and continued walking back up.
Burton was slightly blushing at this point as he turned his attention to Johnny Vincent. "Alright, I want you to take of your pants AND underwear". Johnny's eyes widened as he shook his head. "HELL no!".
"Yes, boy. Just do it already and get it over with". "There ain't no way your gonna make do it, old man!". "Vincent, take your goddamn pants off or else!". "You just try and make me, Burton!".
Burton was very frustrated at this point. "Vincent, if you don't do it NOW, I'll have you expelled faster than you can ride on one of your bikes!". Johnny gaped. "Are you fucking serious?!".
Burton nodded as Johnny silently growled to himself. He reluctantly faced the other students as he slowly began to unzip himself. Some of the students leaned forward to get a good look as Johnny took off his belt and flung it into Burton's face. "Ow! God damnit, boy!".
The greasers started to howl with laughter at this happening. Johnny figured that if he got his friends laughing then it would be easier to...unclothe...his lower body in front of everybody. Peanut started to blush very heavily as Johnny finally got his pants off. But the real tint of red and pink didn't even begin to fill Larry's face until Johnny finally had his boxers off.
"*wolf whistle* Hey baby, wanna have some fun later?"
"That's why he's the king around here!"
"What the fuck..."
"No wonder Lola keeps going back to him..."
"Well Vincent, I have to hand it to you, you may have a large johnson, but that doesn't change the fact that you're still a loser underneath it all."
After Derby's comment, Johnny flipped him the bird and shouted out, "Fuck you, Harrington!". And with that, he sprinted all the way back to his seat, feeling utterly exposed thanks to the fact that Burton didn't let him get his pants back. Burton walked over to Peanut now. But before he could say anything, Peanut frantically whispered in Burton's ear something of great importance.
Burton nodded and announced, "Romano isn't going to strip for us today because he has a terrible case of the "Iwannafuckvincent" boner alert. So, we'll just skip to Hopkins for now". Peanut's mouth dropped open faster than anything upon hearing those words from Burton. And what was worse, Larry's hard-on was so noticeable that all of the students could see it. "F-fuck you, Burton!" were the words screeching from his throat as he left the gym in complete embarrassment.
"Awww, Romano wants to get in bed with Vincent. How remarkable!"
"I always knew there something about that guy..."
"Whoa, really? In that case, who the fuck needs Lola?! Larry, get back here!".
Johnny, who was still half naked, chased after his friend. After this happened, Burton turned to Jimmy. Right before he could say anything, the bell rang. "Ooops! Well looks like that's the end of class!".
Gary, absolutely shocked, shouted out, " WHAT?! NO! Make him strip down!". Jimmy laughed. "Sorry, Gary! No meat for you!". Another angry voice could then be heard from the group.
"I WANNA PLAY WITH SOME OF HOPKINS' BALLS!"
The silence ended with boys leaving the gym.