This chapter is based off of quotes from Season 6 Episode 1. Again, they're quotes straight from the show but I'm filling in the texture and description. Hope you enjoy it.
As always, PLEASE REVIEW!
Much love, Cat
"I find it interesting that I'm only afraid of snakes when Booth is around to be jumped upon," noted Temperance.
Still waiting for the shock of the snakes to wear off, Daisy, for once, was at a loss for words. Besides, how did one respond when one's boss made a comment like that? So she stayed silent.
Temperance was almost disappointed at Daisy's response. She was so used to her team back at the Jeffersonian commenting on her life whether or not she had sought their counsel that she had gradually forgotten that their behavior was not the norm. It wasn't Daisy's fault. What had she expected her to say? Although she knew that a fear of snakes was irrational, especially since she knew how to deal with them…even more illogically, a part of her wished Booth was around to be jumped upon.
Say something to him! "So, was it dangerous in Afghanistan?" Temperance asked.
"No," Booth answered quickly, "what I did was mostly administrative."
She regarded him for a moment. He had tried to speak as casually as possible but after their long working relationship she had learned to sense when he was being evasive. Also, the facts contradicted him. "Because you seem really very heavily armed in this photograph," she pointed out.
He decided to change tactics and steer the conversation in another direction. "What about you? Any headhunters or cannibals?" he joked irreverently. Despite his light tone he truly was fishing for information about what she had encountered during her trip. An anthropological study was likely safer than a war zone but that hadn't meant he'd never thought of her or been worried about her safety in the middle of the jungle.
"Daisy and I were attacked by some armed guerrillas," she said in that bland way she had of laying out the facts, "…but I…I beat them up and we got away."
It took a moment for him to digest what she had said. He'd almost missed the meaning of her words. He knew he couldn't do anything about it now, and that she'd been able to defend herself but still, he blamed himself for not being there for her. She shouldn't have to…
"I had to. You weren't there to save me," she said simply.
Her tone held no accusation. "Oh…Bones." He laughed. If only she knew what he'd been thinking. She had this gift of somehow carrying the conversation to the place his mind was wandering and dispel all of his tension. Did she realize how much he'd relished being the one she depended on, her knight-in-shining-armor? Maybe they'd been too dependent on each other. He'd always eventually come bursting in to save the day. She'd fed his hero complex. The time apart had probably done them both a lot of good. Maybe if he kept repeating that to himself he'd start believing it.
"Sweetie," tried Angela. "Sweetie, can I get some attention over here?" she said teasingly.
"Yes," Temperance said, knocked out of her dormant state. "It's very good to see you…because, you are my best friend and I love you like a sister," she said sincerely, pleased at herself for remembering the phrasing she'd thought up while she was away. "Oh. Uh…I assume, not having an actual sister to use as a control," she added so as not to seem fallacious.
"Right," Angela said as encouragingly as she could. This far into their friendship she was surprised at how awkward Temperance still was. However, she did her best to hide that surprise from her friend as she knew that for all her boasting about her intelligence, Brennan could be very insecure about her behavior in social interactions. "Yes. Yes, I know." She wanted to ask the question but she wasn't sure how to word it. "So, um. What is the deal with Booth…is it weird seeing him again?" OK. So she wasn't the most articulate member of the team.
"Not at all weird," Temperance was quick to correct. "Very nice." Wonderful, in fact. Comforting, like she was somehow completed as a person by his mere presence. Seeing him had relieved her worry about his constantly being in danger, although she was well aware of his prowess with firearms and his ability to effectively defend himself as well as others. Seeing him had also brought surprise and then discomfort, which she'd quickly smothered, when he'd told her he'd met someone. Who met prospective romantic partner in a war zone? Was it possible to feel happy for someone and awful for oneself at the same time?
Angela sensed that her friend was not being entirely truthful but she knew if she pressed her she'd get nowhere. Temperance would either misunderstand or pretend to not to understand in order to avoid the issue. "Are there any old surges…feelings…anything like that?"
"Booth fell in love in Afghanistan." One simple sentence. One sentence to sum up the realization of her fears, the hope she had that this woman would be able to give Booth and Parker what she could not, the pain she'd felt that he'd been able to find someone so quickly and easily… Men did have a tendency not to stay alone for very long after a relationship had been severed. And she had been the one to do the severing. Still, it had been rare that a fact had been so unsettling for her, rare that she'd wanted to deny a an undeniably true statement more.
Angela was instantly sympathetic. "Oh. Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry."
Was she still so obviously affected by him or was Angela merely basing her assumptions on old data? "Why? Are…are you in love with Booth?"
"Well, a little bit but that's not what I mean," Angela said dryly. "Don't tell me you're happy about him finding someone else."
"No, I'm very pleased for him," Temperance insisted. Maybe if she said it enough times it would finally ring true. "A committed, romantic dyad is exactly the kind of relationship Booth seems to require to be happy." And what I couldn't, can't, give him.
"Did you think about Booth at all while you were away?" Angela asked. She knew her friend was hurting, knew she had to admit it before she could starting healing. Besides, a part of her was unwilling to give up on the Booth/Brennan fantasy. They just went together so well. And being together would make them both so happy, give them what they needed. And everyone could see it. It was like a movie that kept twisting and turning and refusing to come to its natural happily ever after.
"Yes, I did. A…a few times I actually dreamed about him," she admitted.
Angela jumped on this piece of information. "Oh. Well, there you go. Dreams are very meaningful."
Temperance wasn't sure if Angela was speaking of one of her new age artist philosophies or that nonsensical Freudian psychology but either way she didn't want to hear about it. It was all well and good for different cultures to place stock in the interpretation of dreams but as there was no real foundation for it she was not interested in applying it to her own life. "I dreamed about the work we do. I dreamed about catching murderers and getting justice for people who were killed" As she spoke, she could see Angela's interest fading. "…What does that mean?"
"It means you're going to die loveless and alone."
The finality with which Angela had said that depressed her. "I don't follow your reasoning." She certainly understood what Angela had meant, but she failed to see the actual correlation. However, to spare herself the debate she pretended as though she hadn't understood.
Thoroughly defeated, Angela ceased her line of questioning. "Sweetie, can you ask me how I am, please?"
"Well, I already know how you are. You love living in Paris and you don't miss murderers and violence," reasoned Temperance. No one seemed to miss their old lives. She did. She hadn't fully realized it until she'd gotten back and seen how everyone had scattered apart once the team had been disbanded. She'd missed having an urgent sense of purpose defining her life. She'd missed her makeshift family. She'd missed him. But he had someone else now. A real romantic relationship instead of bits and pieces of an unspoken desire. How could she compete?
Again, I hope you liked it. I have more quotes saved up for another chapter coming soon.
As always, PLEASE REVIEW!
Much love, Cat